The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing. Why is this? What are the impacts?

The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing.
Why is this? What are the impacts?

In the contemporary milieu, it is widely recognized that the tradition of family gathering for meals is gradually becoming a thing of the last. I believe that causes of this phenomenon lie in modern lifestyles and it adversely affects family cohesion and entire society.

The gradual disappearance of family mealtimes is largely a result of people being occupied with their work and studies. These days, relentless changes of the quality of life leading to the increase of living expenses which drive citizens to devote time to earn a living. Spending most of their time for work in lieu of family meetings gives rise to the decrease of family mealtimes and gradual reduction. When it comes to the young, they tend to study overseas to broaden their career opportunities although they have to live far from their families. This trend limits family reunion, and hence, the tradition of families gathering for meals emerges with low frequency and slow vanishment ultimately.

The disappearance of family meals could have several far-reaching repercussions. To commence with, family mealtimes are not only just about eating but also about building connections and strengthen bonds, so the absence of them could further the distance between family members and potentially unexpected conflicts. Aside from damaging family relationships, this issue is even exacerbated on a societal scale since it affects people's cognition, especially the young. They do not respect on building strong family bonds and can have heartless mannerism with other members in the family. This erosion eventually leads to societal fragmentation, as evidenced by the rising prevalence of divorce.

In conclusion, the busy nature of the modern world seems to be the root cause of families not gathering regularly for meals. This trend is nowhere near beneficial, considering the toll it could take on family relationships and societal development.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"a thing of the last" -> "a thing of the past"
Explanation: "Thing of the last" is not a standard expression. "Thing of the past" is the correct idiom to convey the idea of something that used to happen but no longer does.
"I believe that causes of this phenomenon lie" -> "I believe the causes of this phenomenon lie"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "causes" makes the sentence grammatically correct and more formal.
"relentless changes of the quality of life leading to the increase of living expenses" -> "relentless changes in quality of life leading to increased living expenses"
Explanation: "Changes of the quality of life leading to the increase of living expenses" is awkward phrasing. "Changes in quality of life leading to increased living expenses" is clearer and more grammatically sound.
"citizens" -> "individuals"
Explanation: "Citizens" is a bit formal and doesn’t precisely capture the idea of individuals being occupied with work and studies. "Individuals" is a more inclusive and appropriate term in this context.
"devote time to earn a living" -> "devote time to earning a living"
Explanation: "Earn a living" should be in the gerund form, "earning a living," to maintain grammatical consistency.
"Spending most of their time for work" -> "Devoting most of their time to work"
Explanation: "Spending most of their time for work" is awkward phrasing. "Devoting most of their time to work" is more concise and grammatically correct.
"decrease of family mealtimes" -> "decline in family mealtimes"
Explanation: "Decrease of family mealtimes" is grammatically awkward. "Decline in family mealtimes" is a more precise and natural phrase.
"young" -> "young individuals"
Explanation: "Young" is too vague in this context. "Young individuals" specifies the demographic being discussed.
"emerges with low frequency and slow vanishment ultimately" -> "emerges infrequently and gradually diminishes"
Explanation: "Emerges with low frequency and slow vanishment ultimately" is convoluted. "Emerges infrequently and gradually diminishes" is clearer and more concise.
"To commence with" -> "To begin with"
Explanation: "To commence with" is less common and overly formal. "To begin with" is simpler and more widely understood.
"not only just about eating but also about building connections and strengthen bonds" -> "not only about eating but also about building connections and strengthening bonds"
Explanation: "Not only just about eating but also about building connections and strengthen bonds" is redundant and grammatically incorrect. "Not only about eating but also about building connections and strengthening bonds" is clearer and more grammatically sound.
"so the absence of them could further the distance between family members" -> "thus, their absence could widen the gap between family members"
Explanation: "So the absence of them could further the distance between family members" is awkward phrasing. "Thus, their absence could widen the gap between family members" is clearer and more concise.
"potentially unexpected conflicts" -> "potentially lead to unexpected conflicts"
Explanation: "Potentially unexpected conflicts" is redundant. "Potentially lead to unexpected conflicts" is more concise.
"This erosion eventually leads to societal fragmentation" -> "This erosion eventually leads to societal disintegration"
Explanation: "Societal fragmentation" is less precise than "societal disintegration" in this context.
"as evidenced by the rising prevalence of divorce" -> "as evidenced by the increasing prevalence of divorce"
Explanation: "Rising" and "prevalence" together are redundant. "Increasing prevalence" is more concise.
"the busy nature of the modern world seems to be the root cause" -> "the busy nature of modern life appears to be the root cause"
Explanation: "The busy nature of the modern world seems to be the root cause" is less formal. "The busy nature of modern life appears to be the root cause" is more appropriate for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It discusses both the reasons behind the disappearing tradition of family meals and its impacts on families and society. The reasons provided include modern lifestyles, work commitments, and the trend of studying abroad, while the impacts discussed encompass the weakening of family bonds and potential societal fragmentation.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, the essay could delve deeper into the cultural and societal shifts contributing to the decline of family meals. Additionally, providing more specific examples or statistics to support the claims would strengthen the argument further.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting that the disappearance of family meals is primarily due to modern lifestyles and emphasizing its adverse effects on family cohesion and society.
- How to improve: To further enhance clarity, the essay could explicitly state its position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Additionally, ensuring that every paragraph directly supports this stance would bolster coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas related to the causes and impacts of the disappearing tradition of family meals. It provides examples and explanations to support these ideas, such as the impact on family relationships and societal fragmentation.
- How to improve: To extend ideas further, the essay could explore potential solutions or alternative perspectives on the issue. Additionally, providing more detailed elaboration on each point would enhance the depth of analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly stays on topic by discussing the reasons behind the decline of family meals and their impacts on families and society. However, there are some instances of slight deviation, such as the brief mention of rising living expenses, which could be more directly tied to the topic.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should ensure that all points directly relate to the central theme of the disappearing tradition of family meals. Avoiding tangential topics would strengthen the coherence and relevance of the argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure. It begins with an introduction that introduces the topic and the writer’s stance, followed by two body paragraphs that discuss the causes and impacts of the disappearance of family mealtimes, respectively. The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively. Each paragraph is focused and contributes to the overall argument.
- How to improve: While the logical organization is generally sound, there could be further improvement in the coherence between paragraphs. Transition sentences could be added at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next, enhancing the overall flow of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into three paragraphs: introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph serves its purpose well, with the introduction setting up the topic and the writer’s position, the body paragraphs elaborating on causes and impacts, and the conclusion summarizing the key points. However, the body paragraphs could be further subdivided to provide clearer structure and focus within each section.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down the body paragraphs into smaller, more focused segments, each addressing a specific aspect of the causes and impacts. This would enhance clarity and make it easier for the reader to follow the argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases ("To commence with", "Aside from", "In conclusion"), pronouns ("This trend", "This erosion"), and repetition ("family mealtimes", "families gathering for meals"). These cohesive devices help connect ideas within and between sentences, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay does use cohesive devices effectively, there is room for improvement in diversifying the types of cohesive devices used. Consider incorporating a wider range of connectors, such as conjunctions ("however", "therefore"), adverbs ("moreover", "consequently"), and referencing words ("the former", "the latter"), to further enhance coherence and cohesion. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with varied word choices and expressions throughout. For instance, phrases like "contemporary milieu," "relentless changes," "adversely affects," and "societal fragmentation" contribute to the richness of vocabulary. The use of synonyms such as "vanishment" for disappearance and "repercussions" for impacts showcases lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary that aligns closely with the context. For example, instead of "emerges with low frequency," phrases like "occurs infrequently" or "occurs with diminishing regularity" could elevate the lexical sophistication without compromising clarity.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay employs vocabulary with a fair degree of precision. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For instance, in the phrase "unexpected conflicts," the term "unexpected" could be replaced with a more precise adjective that better conveys the nature of the conflicts, such as "unresolved conflicts" or "latent tensions."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, strive to select words that precisely convey the intended meaning without ambiguity. When discussing societal impacts, opting for terms that precisely describe the consequences can strengthen the argument and clarity of expression.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is generally acceptable, with no glaring errors observed. However, there are a few instances of minor spelling inaccuracies, such as "fragmentation" spelled as "fragmentation." Nonetheless, these errors do not significantly detract from the overall coherence and readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain a high level of spelling accuracy, consider implementing proofreading strategies such as reviewing the essay multiple times, utilizing spelling and grammar checkers, and seeking feedback from peers or educators. Additionally, paying close attention to commonly misspelled words and practicing spelling exercises can further enhance spelling proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable effort in utilizing a variety of sentence structures. It employs complex sentences with relative clauses ("In the contemporary milieu, it is widely recognized that…"), compound sentences ("The gradual disappearance of family mealtimes is largely a result of people being occupied with their work and studies."), and conditional sentences ("When it comes to the young, they tend to study overseas to broaden their career opportunities although they have to live far from their families."). However, some sentences could benefit from more complexity and sophistication to further enhance the essay’s coherence and depth.
- How to improve: To enhance the richness of expression and coherence, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures such as inversion ("Not only are family mealtimes about eating, but they also serve to build connections and strengthen bonds."), parallelism ("…the absence of them could further the distance between family members and potentially lead to unexpected conflicts."), and varied types of subordinate clauses (e.g., concessive clauses, participial phrases). This will add depth to the essay’s argumentation and make it more engaging to the reader.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy with few noticeable errors. However, there are instances where minor grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing occur, such as "the decrease of family mealtimes and gradual reduction" (redundant expression) and "Spending most of their time for work in lieu of family meetings gives rise to the decrease of family mealtimes and gradual reduction" (awkward construction). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, like missing commas after introductory phrases ("In the contemporary milieu") and in compound sentences ("…but also about building connections and strengthen bonds, so the absence of them could further the distance between family members and potentially unexpected conflicts.").
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and clarity, proofread the essay carefully to identify and correct errors in expression. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and the appropriate use of articles and prepositions. Moreover, ensure that punctuation marks are used correctly to clarify sentence structure and aid comprehension. Consider revising awkward or redundant phrases to improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay. Additionally, seek feedback from peers or educators to identify areas for improvement and refine your writing skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary world, it is widely recognized that the tradition of families gathering together for meals is gradually becoming a rarity. I believe that the causes of this phenomenon lie in modern lifestyles, which have adverse effects on family cohesion and society as a whole.

The gradual disappearance of family mealtimes is largely a result of people being occupied with work and studies. These days, relentless changes in the quality of life leading to increased living expenses drive individuals to devote more time to earning a living. Devoting most of their time to work instead of family gatherings results in a decline in family mealtimes, gradually reducing their occurrence. When it comes to young individuals, they often choose to study overseas to broaden their career opportunities, even if it means living far from their families. This trend limits family reunions, thus causing the tradition of families gathering for meals to emerge infrequently and gradually diminish.

The disappearance of family meals could have several far-reaching repercussions. To begin with, family mealtimes are not only about eating but also about building connections and strengthening bonds. Thus, their absence could widen the gap between family members and potentially lead to unexpected conflicts. Aside from damaging family relationships, this issue can also exacerbate societal fragmentation, especially affecting the younger generation’s attitudes towards family bonds. This erosion eventually leads to societal disintegration, as evidenced by the increasing prevalence of divorce.

In conclusion, the busy nature of modern life appears to be the root cause of families not gathering regularly for meals. This trend is detrimental, considering the toll it could take on family relationships and societal development.