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The tradition of families getting together to The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts?eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts?

The tradition of families getting together to The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts?eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts?

It is often argued that the tradition of families eating meals together is gradually disappearing. From my perspective, I completely agree with this notion, primarily because modern lifestyles have become busier, and technological devices have created more distractions during family time.

One compelling reason to support this is that many people today are living fast-paced, demanding lives. This is largely due to the fact that both parents and children often have packed schedules filled with work, school, and extracurricular activities. For example, a study conducted by the National Family Meal Survey found that more than 60% of families cited lack of time as the main reason for skipping family meals. Consequently, it becomes evident that busy schedules make it difficult for families to come together regularly for meals.

Another key point worth considering is the impact of technology on family interaction. This stems from the fact that electronic devices, such as smartphones and televisions, have become a significant part of daily life, even during mealtime. A prominent example of this is how many individuals tend to eat while watching TV or using their phones instead of engaging in conversation with family members. Thus, the increasing influence of technology proves crucial in understanding the decline of traditional family meals.

In conclusion, while there are strong arguments on both sides of the issue, it is my firm belief that the tradition of families eating together is disappearing mainly due to busy modern lifestyles and the distraction of technology. By considering both factors, it is clear that this shift has far-reaching effects on family relationships and communication.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "It is often argued" -> "It is frequently posited"
    Explanation: "Posited" is a more formal and precise term than "argued," which enhances the academic tone of the sentence.

  2. "From my perspective, I completely agree" -> "I concur"
    Explanation: "Concur" is a more formal and concise alternative to "I completely agree," which streamlines the expression and aligns better with academic writing.

  3. "primarily because" -> "primarily due to the fact that"
    Explanation: "Due to the fact that" is a more formal and precise phrase, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

  4. "technological devices have created more distractions" -> "technological devices have introduced additional distractions"
    Explanation: "Introduced" is a more precise verb than "created," which better describes the role of technology in introducing new distractions.

  5. "living fast-paced, demanding lives" -> "leading fast-paced, demanding lives"
    Explanation: "Leading" is a more formal verb than "living," which is more commonly used in everyday language.

  6. "packed schedules" -> "hectic schedules"
    Explanation: "Hectic" is a more precise adjective to describe busy and demanding schedules, fitting better in an academic context.

  7. "extracurricular activities" -> "extracurricular pursuits"
    Explanation: "Pursuits" is a more formal term than "activities," which is often used in a more casual context.

  8. "more than 60% of families" -> "over 60% of families"
    Explanation: "Over" is a more formal alternative to "more than," which is typically used in academic writing.

  9. "comes together regularly" -> "gathers regularly"
    Explanation: "Gathers" is a more formal synonym for "comes together," which is more commonly used in academic texts.

  10. "the increasing influence of technology" -> "the growing impact of technology"
    Explanation: "Growing impact" is a more precise and formal way to describe the effect of technology, enhancing the academic tone.

  11. "proves crucial" -> "is crucial"
    Explanation: "Is crucial" is a more straightforward and formal way to express necessity, avoiding the passive construction "proves crucial."

  12. "it is my firm belief" -> "I firmly believe"
    Explanation: "I firmly believe" is a more direct and formal expression, suitable for academic writing.

  13. "it is clear that this shift has far-reaching effects" -> "it is evident that this shift has significant implications"
    Explanation: "Significant implications" is a more precise and formal phrase than "far-reaching effects," which is somewhat vague and less formal.

These changes aim to refine the vocabulary and style of the essay to better align with academic standards, enhancing clarity, precision, and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for the decline of family meals and the impacts of this trend. The author identifies busy lifestyles and technology as primary reasons, supported by a relevant study. However, while the reasons are well articulated, the impacts are only briefly mentioned in the conclusion without substantial exploration in the body of the essay. This limits the depth of the response.
    • How to improve: To enhance the essay, the author should dedicate at least one paragraph to explicitly discussing the impacts of the decline in family meals. This could include effects on family relationships, communication skills, and emotional well-being, providing specific examples or studies to support these claims.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The author maintains a clear position throughout the essay, consistently agreeing with the notion that family meals are disappearing. The use of phrases like "I completely agree" and "my firm belief" reinforces this stance. However, the conclusion could be more assertive in summarizing the position and its implications.
    • How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the author should ensure that the conclusion not only reiterates the main points but also emphasizes the significance of the issue. A more forceful statement about the consequences of this trend would enhance the overall argument.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas effectively, particularly the reasons for the decline in family meals. The use of a study to back the claim about busy lifestyles is a strong point. However, the ideas could be further extended, especially regarding the impacts of this decline, which are not thoroughly explored.
    • How to improve: To improve, the author should aim to elaborate on each point made. For instance, when discussing technology, the author could provide specific examples of how this affects family dynamics or communication. Including more data or anecdotes would also enhance the persuasiveness of the arguments.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the decline of family meals without straying into unrelated areas. The structure is logical, with a clear progression from reasons to a conclusion. However, the lack of a detailed discussion on impacts could be seen as a slight deviation from fully addressing the prompt.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the author should ensure that all parts of the prompt are equally addressed. This can be achieved by outlining the essay before writing to ensure that both reasons and impacts receive adequate attention and development.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates strong qualities that justify a Band Score of 8, addressing the impacts of the decline in family meals more thoroughly and enhancing the conclusion could elevate the score further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, clearly stating the writer’s position. Each body paragraph focuses on a specific reason for the decline of family meals, with the first addressing busy lifestyles and the second discussing the impact of technology. This structure helps the reader follow the argument easily. However, while the points are relevant, the transitions between the paragraphs could be enhanced to further improve the flow of ideas.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases at the beginning of each paragraph to explicitly connect the ideas. For instance, starting the second paragraph with "In addition to busy lifestyles, another significant factor contributing to this decline is…" would create a smoother transition and reinforce the relationship between the points.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph has a clear focus, with the first discussing busy lifestyles and the second addressing technology’s role. However, the conclusion could be more distinct from the body paragraphs, as it currently feels somewhat abrupt and does not summarize the key points effectively.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that the conclusion not only reiterates the main arguments but also synthesizes them. A brief recap of the two main reasons discussed in the body paragraphs would strengthen the conclusion and provide a clearer closure to the essay.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "for example," "consequently," and "thus," which help to clarify relationships between ideas. These devices enhance the coherence of the text, allowing the reader to understand the connections between the points made. However, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied; for instance, some phrases are repeated, which can detract from the overall sophistication of the writing.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating synonyms or alternative phrases. Instead of repeatedly using "for example," you could use "for instance" or "such as" to introduce examples. Additionally, employing more complex cohesive devices, like "not only… but also" or "on the one hand… on the other hand," could further enhance the sophistication of the writing and improve the overall flow.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, enhancing transitions, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will elevate the overall quality and clarity of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Terms like "fast-paced," "demanding lives," "extracurricular activities," and "significant part of daily life" illustrate the writer’s ability to employ varied language effectively. The use of phrases such as "compelling reason" and "prominent example" further enhances the lexical richness. However, there are instances where synonyms or more varied expressions could have been used to avoid repetition, particularly with the word "family."
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider incorporating synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "family," alternatives like "household," "kin," or "relatives" could diversify the language. Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as "interpersonal dynamics" or "socio-cultural shifts," could elevate the essay further.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with phrases like "lack of time" and "engaging in conversation" clearly conveying the intended meaning. However, the phrase "the tradition of families eating meals together" could be seen as slightly verbose. While it is clear, it could be more succinctly expressed as "family meal traditions."
    • How to improve: Aim for precision by revising longer phrases into more concise alternatives. For example, "the tradition of families eating meals together" could be streamlined to "family meal traditions." Additionally, ensure that all terms used are contextually appropriate; for instance, "distraction of technology" could be rephrased to "technological distractions" for greater clarity.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words like "technology," "interaction," and "communication" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of written English.
    • How to improve: To maintain and enhance spelling accuracy, continue practicing with spelling exercises and proofreading techniques. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers or writing apps can also help catch any potential errors before finalizing the essay. Regular reading can further reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further improve their lexical resource for future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "this stems from the fact that" and "it becomes evident that" showcases an ability to construct more intricate sentences. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the opening and concluding sentences, which could be varied further to enhance the overall flow.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and transitional words. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "this is," you could use alternatives like "Another factor contributing to this trend is…" or "In addition to busy schedules, technology also plays a significant role." Experimenting with different sentence beginnings and lengths can create a more engaging reading experience.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "the tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing" is correctly structured, but the repetition of "getting together to eat meals" in the prompt could have been paraphrased to avoid redundancy. Additionally, punctuation is mostly correct, although there are a few areas where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "and" in compound sentences.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on proofreading for minor errors and ensuring clarity in complex sentences. For example, consider rephrasing sentences to avoid redundancy and enhance clarity, such as changing "the tradition of families eating meals together is gradually disappearing" to "the tradition of family meals is gradually fading." Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in compound sentences, can help improve overall clarity and readability.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is frequently posited that the tradition of families gathering to eat meals together is gradually fading away. From my perspective, I concur with this notion, primarily due to the fact that modern lifestyles have become busier, and technological devices have introduced additional distractions during family time.

One compelling reason to support this is that many people today are leading fast-paced, demanding lives. This is largely due to the fact that both parents and children often have hectic schedules filled with work, school, and extracurricular pursuits. For example, a study conducted by the National Family Meal Survey found that over 60% of families cited lack of time as the primary reason for skipping family meals. Consequently, it is evident that busy schedules make it challenging for families to gather regularly for meals.

Another key point worth considering is the growing impact of technology on family interaction. This stems from the fact that electronic devices, such as smartphones and televisions, have become a significant part of daily life, even during mealtime. A prominent example of this is how many individuals tend to eat while watching TV or using their phones instead of engaging in conversation with family members. Thus, the increasing influence of technology is crucial in understanding the decline of traditional family meals.

In conclusion, while there are strong arguments on both sides of the issue, I firmly believe that the tradition of families eating together is disappearing mainly due to busy modern lifestyles and the distractions posed by technology. By considering both factors, it is evident that this shift has significant implications for family relationships and communication.

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