The two maps below show the changes that have taken place in the town of Westley since 1815. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pictures describe how an area in Westley has changed from 1815.
On the whole, this town underwent several dramatic changes, the most important of which are the rearrangement of housing complexes and the construction of new railway station.
In the northwest of the map, the path across the Twine Toll bridge was cleared to make way for the new railway station going along the left side of the area, which was accompanied by the demolishment of vast land of fields. There used to be a coach inn and the church in the center of the village, but it was then redeveloped into new sport centre, museum and a West Gate shopping center. The north side of the picture also saw a number of changes, withLord Westley's house being turned to the Red Line and Lenton Hotel, and the green land on the opposite side of it being converted to Lenton Housing Estate.
Especially, on the top right of the map, the Tinton village and the Lenton Lake stayed the same, while accomodations in the east of the town was transformed into business and residential area. One more thing worth noting is that no changes was made to the market square, and a new path joined to town hall and the Shopping, business and housing complexes down side of it.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"an area in Westley" -> "a region in Westley"
Explanation: "Area" is a vague term that can refer to any space or locality. "Region" is more specific and conveys a sense of a defined geographic area.
"underwent several dramatic changes" -> "experienced significant transformations"
Explanation: "Underwent" is a common verb but lacks specificity. "Experienced" is more precise and "significant transformations" adds emphasis and sophistication.
"rearrangement of housing complexes" -> "reorganization of residential complexes"
Explanation: "Rearrangement" is adequate but "reorganization" implies a more deliberate and systematic change.
"demolishment of vast land of fields" -> "demolition of extensive agricultural land"
Explanation: "Demolishment" is less common than "demolition" and "vast land of fields" is awkward. "Extensive agricultural land" is clearer and more formal.
"coach inn" -> "coach house"
Explanation: "Coach inn" is not incorrect but "coach house" is a more precise term for a building that once accommodated travelers and their coaches.
"a new sport centre" -> "a new sports center"
Explanation: "Centre" is the British spelling, but "center" is more commonly used internationally.
"redeveloped into new sport centre, museum and a West Gate shopping center" -> "redeveloped into a new sports center, museum, and the West Gate shopping center"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "West Gate shopping center" provides clarity and consistency in the list.
"the demolishment of vast land of fields" -> "the demolition of extensive agricultural land"
Explanation: Replacing "vast land of fields" with "extensive agricultural land" provides a clearer description of the area that was demolished.
"accomodations" -> "accommodations"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "accommodations" to its standard form.
"transformed into business and residential area" -> "transformed into a business and residential area"
Explanation: Adding "a" before "business and residential area" makes the sentence grammatically correct.
"no changes was made" -> "no changes were made"
Explanation: Correcting the subject-verb agreement error; "changes" is plural, so "were" should be used instead of "was."
"joined to town hall and the Shopping" -> "connected to the town hall and the shopping"
Explanation: "Joined" can imply a physical joining, while "connected" is more appropriate for describing the establishment of a pathway.
"down side" -> "downside"
Explanation: "Down side" should be written as one word, "downside," to convey the intended meaning of a lower or less favorable aspect.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features and making relevant comparisons between the two maps. It presents a clear overview of the main changes that have occurred in the town of Westley since 1815, including the rearrangement of housing complexes, the construction of a new railway station, and the redevelopment of key landmarks such as the coach inn and church. Key features and bullet points are highlighted, such as the conversion of Lord Westley’s house and the establishment of new residential and business areas. The essay provides a coherent summary of the information presented in the maps.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could further extend its coverage of key features by providing more specific details about the changes, such as the scale or extent of the redevelopment projects. Additionally, ensuring that all information presented is accurate and relevant would strengthen the overall response. Consider providing more precise descriptions of the changes observed in each area of the town to enhance clarity and depth of analysis.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some organization by describing the changes in the town of Westley since 1815. It covers various aspects such as housing complexes, railway stations, and the transformation of landmarks. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat lacking as there is no clear chronological order or thematic grouping. The essay attempts to use cohesive devices but with inconsistencies and inaccuracies, leading to some confusion in understanding the connections between ideas. Paragraphing is used, but the logical flow between paragraphs is not always evident.

How to improve:

Organization: Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas. Group related information together and consider presenting it in a more structured manner, such as chronological order or thematic grouping.
Cohesive Devices: Use cohesive devices more effectively and accurately. Avoid overusing or inaccurately employing them, which can lead to confusion. Aim for coherence in connecting ideas throughout the essay.
Paragraphing: Maintain logical paragraphing and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Clearly indicate shifts in topics or ideas to improve readability and understanding.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering key aspects of the changes in the town of Westley since 1815. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as "redeveloped," "accommodations," and "demolishment." However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and expression, which slightly affect clarity and precision. Additionally, there are several errors in spelling and word formation throughout the essay, such as "accomodations," "Twine Toll," "demolishment," and "accomodations." These errors, while noticeable, do not severely impede communication.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, focus on using more varied and precise vocabulary. Double-check spellings and word formations to avoid errors that could affect the overall clarity of the essay. Additionally, aim for greater consistency in expression to ensure the message is conveyed effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt at using a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of Band 6. There is a variety in sentence structures, including some complex constructions such as "In the northwest of the map, the path across the Twine Toll bridge was cleared to make way for the new railway station going along the left side of the area, which was accompanied by the demolishment of vast land of fields." However, there are also instances of simpler sentences throughout the essay. While there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, they do not significantly impede communication. Overall, the essay effectively communicates the main features of the maps but lacks full flexibility and accuracy in language usage.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a wider variety of complex structures consistently throughout the essay. Pay closer attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation to reduce errors. Practice incorporating more complex sentence structures while ensuring clarity and coherence in communication.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided maps illustrate the transformation of an area within Westley from 1815. Overall, significant changes have occurred in the town, particularly in terms of housing reconfiguration and the establishment of a new railway station.

In the northwest section of the area, the Twine Toll bridge pathway was cleared to facilitate the construction of a new railway station, situated along the left side of the region. This development necessitated the demolition of extensive fields. Former landmarks such as a coach inn and a church in the village center were replaced with a new sports center, museum, and the West Gate shopping center.

Further alterations occurred on the northern side of the map. Lord Westley’s residence underwent a transformation into the Red Line and Lenton Hotel. Adjacent green spaces were repurposed into the Lenton Housing Estate.

Notably, the Tinton village and Lenton Lake in the upper right corner of the map remained unchanged, while the eastern part of the town saw the conversion of accommodations into a mix of business and residential areas.

Additionally, the market square remained unaltered, with a new pathway connecting it to the town hall and the adjacent shopping, business, and housing complexes.