The two plans below compare the layout of a typical Japanese office and a typical American office. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two plans below compare the layout of a typical Japanese office and a typical American office.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given pictures illustrate some differences in design structure between Japanese offices and American offices.

Overall, the design of two layouts are completely different, while the layout of Japan prefers team-work style, the organization of America reflects private- work style.

In Japanese offices, the window that is near the department manager is located to the north of the layout. Additionally, the workspace accounts for large communal tables with two lined up on each side. This enhances direct interaction among employees with the instruction through the section manager. In the center of the layout is the area of the department manager.

Regarding American-style offices, the layout is furnished with L-shaped in the center and chairs designed for individual employees. Difference with Japanese plan, section manager and department manager situated to the east of the layout with private rooms. On the opposite side, there are additional facilities such as copiers, storage, conference rooms and the windows are installed on both sides of the plan.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The given pictures illustrate some differences in design structure" -> "The provided images depict distinct variations in office design"
Explanation: "The provided images" is more formal and precise than "the given pictures," and "depict" is more academic than "illustrate." Additionally, "distinct variations" is more specific and formal than "some differences."
"the design of two layouts are" -> "the designs of these two layouts are"
Explanation: "the designs of these two layouts" corrects the grammatical error and clarifies that the subject is plural, aligning with the context.
"the layout of Japan prefers team-work style" -> "Japanese offices adopt a team-based design"
Explanation: "adopt a team-based design" is more precise and formal than "prefer team-work style," which is vague and informal.
"the organization of America reflects private- work style" -> "American offices typically feature individual workspaces"
Explanation: "American offices typically feature individual workspaces" is clearer and more specific than "the organization of America reflects private-work style," which is awkward and unclear.
"the window that is near the department manager is located to the north of the layout" -> "the window adjacent to the department manager is situated north of the layout"
Explanation: "situated" is more formal than "is located," and "adjacent to" is more precise than "that is near."
"the workspace accounts for large communal tables with two lined up on each side" -> "the workspace consists of large communal tables, with two rows on each side"
Explanation: "consists of" is more formal than "accounts for," and "rows" is clearer than "lined up," which is informal and vague.
"This enhances direct interaction among employees with the instruction through the section manager" -> "This facilitates direct communication among employees under the guidance of the section manager"
Explanation: "facilitates" is more precise than "enhances," and "under the guidance of" is more formal and specific than "with the instruction through."
"Regarding American-style offices, the layout is furnished with L-shaped in the center and chairs designed for individual employees" -> "Regarding American offices, the layout features an L-shaped configuration and individual workstations"
Explanation: "features an L-shaped configuration and individual workstations" is more specific and formal than "is furnished with L-shaped in the center and chairs designed for individual employees."
"Difference with Japanese plan, section manager and department manager situated to the east of the layout with private rooms" -> "In contrast to the Japanese layout, the section and department managers are situated to the east, with private offices"
Explanation: "In contrast to the Japanese layout" is more formal and specific than "Difference with Japanese plan," and "situated to the east, with private offices" is clearer and more formal than "situated to the east of the layout with private rooms."
"On the opposite side, there are additional facilities such as copiers, storage, conference rooms and the windows are installed on both sides of the plan" -> "On the opposite side, additional facilities such as copiers, storage, and conference rooms are situated, with windows on both sides"
Explanation: "additional facilities such as copiers, storage, and conference rooms are situated, with windows on both sides" is more formal and grammatically correct than the original, which is awkward and unclear.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by providing a basic overview of the two office layouts. However, the essay does not present a clear overview of the main features or differences between the two layouts. The essay focuses on details, such as the location of the windows and the type of chairs, rather than on the overall layout and design.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main features of each layout. For example, the essay could state that the Japanese office layout is designed for teamwork, while the American office layout is designed for individual work. The essay could also highlight the key differences between the two layouts, such as the use of communal tables in the Japanese office and the use of individual desks in the American office. The essay should also avoid irrelevant details, such as the location of the windows.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there are noticeable issues with overall progression and cohesion. While it attempts to compare the two office layouts, the connections between ideas are not always clear, leading to a somewhat disjointed reading experience. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent, and there is some repetition in phrasing. Additionally, the paragraphing is not effectively utilized, as the essay lacks clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on creating clear topic sentences for each paragraph that summarize the main idea. Using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately will help to connect sentences and ideas more fluidly. Ensuring that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one and maintains a clear progression of thought will also improve the overall structure. Finally, refining the use of paragraphing to separate distinct ideas or comparisons will contribute to a more organized essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, such as "design structure," "communal tables," and "private rooms." However, the use of less common vocabulary is limited, and there are instances of inaccurate word choices, such as "the organization of America reflects private-work style," which could be more clearly expressed. Additionally, there are some errors in word formation and sentence structure that detract from the overall clarity, such as "the layout is furnished with L-shaped in the center," which is awkwardly phrased. These factors indicate that while the vocabulary is sufficient for the task, it lacks the precision and sophistication expected at higher band levels.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, particularly less common and more precise terms related to office design and layout. Additionally, focusing on the correct use of collocations and ensuring clarity in sentence structure will help improve overall coherence. Practicing the use of synonyms and varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more sophisticated lexical resource. Finally, proofreading for spelling and word formation errors will help in achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 score. There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, but they do not significantly impede communication. The writer attempts to use a variety of structures, but the accuracy of these structures is inconsistent. For example, phrases like "the design of two layouts are completely different" contain subject-verb agreement errors, and "the layout of Japan prefers team-work style" could be more clearly expressed. Overall, while the essay conveys the main ideas, the grammatical issues detract from its effectiveness.

How to improve:

Enhance Sentence Structure: Aim to use a wider range of complex sentence structures and ensure that they are grammatically accurate. For example, instead of "the design of two layouts are completely different," it could be rephrased to "the designs of the two layouts are completely different."
Minimize Errors: Proofread the essay to catch and correct grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and punctuation. For instance, "Difference with Japanese plan" should be revised to "In contrast to the Japanese plan."
Clarify Ideas: Improve clarity by using more precise language. Instead of "the workspace accounts for large communal tables," consider saying "the workspace features large communal tables."
Practice Variety: Incorporate a greater variety of sentence types and lengths to enhance the overall grammatical range. This could involve using more subordinate clauses or conditional sentences.

Bài sửa mẫu

The given pictures illustrate some differences in design structure between Japanese offices and American offices.

Overall, the designs of the two layouts are completely different; while the layout in Japan favors a teamwork style, the organization in America reflects a private work style.

In Japanese offices, the window near the department manager is located to the north of the layout. Additionally, the workspace features large communal tables with two tables lined up on each side. This arrangement enhances direct interaction among employees under the guidance of the section manager. In the center of the layout is the area designated for the department manager.

In contrast, American-style offices are furnished with an L-shaped desk in the center and chairs designed for individual employees. Unlike the Japanese plan, the section manager and department manager are situated to the east of the layout in private rooms. On the opposite side, there are additional facilities such as copiers, storage, and conference rooms, with windows installed on both sides of the plan.