The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future.

Market jobs dramatically change and workers often tend to take on new jobs or working conditions. This essay will demonstrate the reasons and suggest solutions for this phenomenon.
On the one hand, there are numerous causes that affect residents’ career decisions. First and foremost, the treatment plays a significant role for employees to continually work for businesses. Workers usually spend most of their time with officials to complete their tasks but they receive unworthy treatment including salaries, days off or holidays. Moreover, their co-workers or their bosses might ignore them whenever they seek help which brings them a sense of isolation. Therefore, they tend to change their occupations to other work environments where they can attain higher demands and quality. In addition, globalization might influence this change. This trend can create more jobs for citizens all around the world and offer them more opportunities to access new companies. For example, Vietnam has had advantages in growing rice cultivation for thousands of years but globalization has provided more jobs for residents like artists, engineers or scientists.
Catching up with this modern trend, people need to improve their knowledge and skills. Firstly, they need to gain more certificates or degrees. By this method, individuals can adequately acquire the necessary knowledge for their work. When achieving more attainment such as master’s degrees or doctor’s degrees, co-workers or colleagues will respect and be willing to help them and they will be paid higher salaries and be provided quality holidays by their companies. Additionally, with the development of technology, people should improve and possess soft skills. They need to develop their abilities to use technological devices like literacy skills which can help them to contribute their soft skills. These will be necessary for employees to ensure their demands in globalization and achieve their goals easier.
In conclusion, I firmly believe the change in work circumstances caused by many reasons can be solved by the improvement of people. This will give employees several advantages to adapt to the change.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Market jobs dramatically change" -> "Job markets undergo significant changes"
Explanation: "Job markets undergo significant changes" is more precise and formal, avoiding the colloquialism "dramatically" and enhancing the academic tone.
"workers often tend to take on new jobs or working conditions" -> "workers frequently opt for new jobs or work environments"
Explanation: "Opt for" is more formal than "tend to take on," and "work environments" is a more precise term than "working conditions," aligning better with academic language.
"This essay will demonstrate the reasons and suggest solutions for this phenomenon." -> "This essay will elucidate the causes and propose solutions to this phenomenon."
Explanation: "Elucidate" is more formal than "demonstrate," and "propose" is more precise than "suggest" in an academic context, enhancing the formality and clarity of the statement.
"the treatment plays a significant role for employees to continually work for businesses" -> "compensation plays a significant role in motivating employees to continue working for businesses"
Explanation: "Compensation" is a more specific term than "the treatment," and "motivating" is more precise than "continually work," providing a clearer and more formal expression.
"workers usually spend most of their time with officials to complete their tasks" -> "workers typically spend most of their time interacting with supervisors to complete tasks"
Explanation: "Interacting with supervisors" is more specific and formal than "spending time with officials," and "tasks" is more concise than "their tasks," improving the flow and formality of the sentence.
"they receive unworthy treatment including salaries, days off or holidays" -> "they receive inadequate compensation, including salaries, leave, and holidays"
Explanation: "Inadequate compensation" is more precise and formal than "unworthy treatment," and "leave" is a more formal term than "days off," aligning better with academic style.
"their co-workers or their bosses might ignore them" -> "their colleagues or supervisors may disregard them"
Explanation: "Colleagues" and "supervisors" are more formal terms than "co-workers" and "bosses," and "disregard" is more formal than "ignore," fitting the academic tone better.
"they tend to change their occupations to other work environments" -> "they often shift to different work environments"
Explanation: "Shift to different work environments" is more concise and formal than "change their occupations to other work environments," improving the academic tone.
"globalization might influence this change" -> "globalization may influence this trend"
Explanation: "Trend" is a more specific term than "change," and "may" is more formal than "might" in academic writing.
"people need to improve their knowledge and skills" -> "individuals must enhance their knowledge and skills"
Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "people," and "enhance" is more precise than "improve," fitting the academic style better.
"they need to gain more certificates or degrees" -> "they must acquire additional certifications or degrees"
Explanation: "Acquire" is more formal than "gain," and "certifications" is a more precise term than "certificates," aligning with academic standards.
"they need to develop their abilities to use technological devices like literacy skills" -> "they must cultivate skills in using technological devices, such as literacy"
Explanation: "Cultivate" is more formal than "develop," and "such as" is more appropriate than "like" in formal writing, enhancing the precision and formality of the statement.
"ensure their demands in globalization" -> "meet the demands of globalization"
Explanation: "Meet the demands of globalization" is grammatically correct and more formal than "ensure their demands in globalization," which is awkward and incorrect.
"achieve their goals easier" -> "achieve their goals more easily"
Explanation: "More easily" is grammatically correct and more formal than "easier," which is an adverbial form that should be used with "more" in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the causes of rapid changes in the world of work and suggesting ways to prepare individuals for these changes. The causes mentioned include poor treatment of employees and globalization, which are relevant and significant factors. However, the discussion on causes could be more comprehensive, as it lacks depth in exploring additional factors such as technological advancements or economic shifts. The suggestions for preparation focus primarily on education and skill development, which is appropriate but could benefit from more varied strategies.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should consider including a broader range of causes, such as the impact of technology and economic fluctuations. Additionally, providing more diverse suggestions for preparation—like the importance of adaptability, networking, or lifelong learning—would create a more rounded response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges the need for change in response to evolving work conditions. The introduction and conclusion reinforce this stance effectively. However, the clarity of the position could be improved by explicitly linking the causes and suggested solutions back to the central thesis throughout the body paragraphs. For instance, the connection between employee treatment and the need for skill development could be more explicitly stated.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer should consistently relate each point back to the main argument. Using transitional phrases that tie the causes to the suggested solutions can help maintain a cohesive narrative throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the causes of job changes and methods of preparation. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while the mention of globalization is relevant, the example provided about Vietnam could be expanded to illustrate how globalization specifically affects job opportunities in various sectors. Similarly, the discussion on education could include specific examples of in-demand skills or industries.
- How to improve: To enhance the development and support of ideas, the writer should provide more detailed examples and explanations. Incorporating statistics, case studies, or specific instances of industries affected by these changes would strengthen the argument and provide a clearer picture of the issues discussed.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt effectively. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the second paragraph where the discussion of employee treatment could be more tightly linked to the overall theme of job changes. The mention of soft skills, while relevant, could be better integrated into the context of preparing for future job markets.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the prompt. Using topic sentences that clearly outline how each paragraph contributes to the overall argument can help keep the discussion aligned with the essay prompt.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant ideas, but there is room for improvement in depth, clarity, and cohesion. By expanding on points made, providing more examples, and ensuring that all parts of the prompt are thoroughly addressed, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. The first body paragraph effectively outlines the causes of job changes, such as poor treatment and globalization, while the second body paragraph addresses how individuals can prepare for these changes. However, the transition between the two body paragraphs could be smoother, as the shift from causes to solutions feels somewhat abrupt. For instance, the introduction of the second paragraph could include a transitional phrase that links the discussion of causes to the need for preparation.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases at the beginning of each paragraph that relate to the previous one. For example, starting the second paragraph with "In response to these challenges, individuals must…" would create a clearer connection between the two sections.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in readability. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, with supporting details that reinforce the argument. However, the first paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that encapsulate the main point of the paragraph. For example, the first sentence could explicitly state that the paragraph will discuss the causes of job changes, rather than starting with a general statement about job changes.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences in each paragraph to clearly indicate the focus of the paragraph. This will help guide the reader through your argument. For instance, revise the first sentence of the first body paragraph to something like, "Several key factors contribute to the changing landscape of employment."
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost," "moreover," and "additionally," which help to connect ideas within paragraphs. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay occasionally relies on a few phrases repetitively. For instance, the phrase "this trend" is used without clear antecedents, which can confuse readers about what is being referred to.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "moreover," consider alternatives like "furthermore," "in addition," or "consequently." Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device clearly refers back to the correct antecedent to maintain clarity. For instance, clarify what "this trend" refers to by rephrasing it to "the trend of globalization" to avoid ambiguity.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, refining the logical flow, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will elevate the quality of the writing and potentially improve the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but it lacks variety and sophistication in word choice. For example, phrases like "workers often tend to take on new jobs" and "numerous causes that affect residents’ career decisions" are somewhat repetitive and could be expressed using more varied vocabulary. Additionally, terms such as "unworthy treatment" and "higher demands and quality" are vague and could be replaced with more precise alternatives that convey clearer meanings.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more complex phrases. For instance, instead of "take on new jobs," one could use "transition to new roles" or "pursue diverse employment opportunities." Similarly, "unworthy treatment" could be rephrased to "inadequate compensation" or "substandard working conditions."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that may confuse the reader. For example, the phrase "the treatment plays a significant role for employees" lacks clarity—it’s unclear what "treatment" refers to specifically. Additionally, "achieving more attainment" is awkward and could be more clearly expressed as "achieving higher qualifications" or "gaining additional credentials."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using specific terms that accurately convey their intended meaning. Instead of "treatment," the writer could specify "workplace conditions" or "employee treatment." Furthermore, avoiding vague phrases and opting for clearer alternatives will enhance overall clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "Catching up with this modern trend" where "Catching" should be lowercase, and "literacy skills" which may not accurately reflect the intended meaning of "literacy" in the context of technological skills. Overall, spelling is generally accurate, but attention to detail is necessary.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, focusing on capitalization and context-specific terminology. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors that may be overlooked during writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of lexical resource, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying word choice, using specific terms, and carefully proofreading, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "In addition" effectively introduces contrasting and additional points. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the sentence "Workers usually spend most of their time with officials to complete their tasks but they receive unworthy treatment including salaries, days off or holidays" is quite lengthy and could be broken down for clarity and impact.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more varied introductory clauses and incorporating different types of dependent clauses. For example, instead of starting sentences with the subject, try beginning with an adverbial clause or a participial phrase. Additionally, varying the length and complexity of sentences can enhance the overall flow and engagement of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains good grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "the treatment plays a significant role for employees to continually work for businesses" could be more clearly expressed as "the treatment employees receive plays a significant role in their decision to remain with a business." Furthermore, punctuation issues arise, such as the lack of commas in compound sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences. For example, "Workers usually spend most of their time with officials to complete their tasks but they receive unworthy treatment including salaries, days off or holidays" would benefit from a comma before "but" to separate the two independent clauses.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review the rules regarding subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and the use of articles. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, especially for compound and complex sentences, will enhance clarity. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors. Consider revising sentences for conciseness and clarity, ensuring that each sentence conveys its intended meaning effectively.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical and punctuation skills will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Market jobs dramatically change, and workers often tend to take on new jobs or working conditions. This essay will demonstrate the reasons and suggest solutions for this phenomenon.

On the one hand, there are numerous causes that affect residents’ career decisions. First and foremost, treatment plays a significant role in motivating employees to continually work for businesses. Workers usually spend most of their time interacting with supervisors to complete their tasks, but they receive inadequate treatment, including salaries, days off, or holidays. Moreover, their co-workers or bosses might ignore them whenever they seek help, which brings them a sense of isolation. Therefore, they tend to change their occupations to other work environments where they can attain higher demands and quality. In addition, globalization may influence this change. This trend can create more jobs for citizens all around the world and offer them more opportunities to access new companies. For example, Vietnam has had advantages in growing rice cultivation for thousands of years, but globalization has provided more jobs for residents, such as artists, engineers, or scientists.

Catching up with this modern trend, people need to improve their knowledge and skills. Firstly, they need to gain more certificates or degrees. By this method, individuals can adequately acquire the necessary knowledge for their work. When achieving more qualifications, such as master’s degrees or doctorates, co-workers or colleagues will respect and be willing to help them, and they will be paid higher salaries and provided quality holidays by their companies. Additionally, with the development of technology, people should improve and possess soft skills. They need to develop their abilities to use technological devices, such as literacy skills, which can help them contribute their soft skills. These will be necessary for employees to meet the demands of globalization and achieve their goals more easily.

In conclusion, I firmly believe the change in work circumstances is caused by many reasons, but it can be addressed by the improvement of people. This will give employees several advantages to adapt to the change.