These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant period of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country.

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant period of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country.

Nowadays, it is increasingly popular that many people decide to work and study abroad. While there are various advantages, they may cope with a variety of challenges.
On the one hand, living in other countries enables individuals to broaden their horizons due to the fact that they can experience a change of scenery. For instance, they have a chance to sample local cuisine which cannot be tried in their home country, or learn about that country through witnessing directly instead of reading books. Moreover, people having a keen sense of adventure generally prefer moving to new places to explore and immerse themselves in new environments. These people, as a result, are able to acquire different kinds of knowledge and cultures.
The second factor contributing to the importance of living and working overseas is to improve job prospects. A significant number of international companies require their employees’ international degree or working abroad experience. These elements make the candidate more beneficial and be evaluated as brilliant candidates when applying to a job.
On the other hand, some people living abroad have to face culture shock at first. There are many cultural differences between two countries such as language, food, clothes and so on. If someone finds difficulty in language barrier, he or she must be under pressure of misunderstanding and spending a great deal of time acquiring a new language. On top of that, being allergic to common food in other countries can severely harm their physical and mental health. These problems therefore lead to homesickness or a sense of isolation.
Another issue is that people cannot fulfill their living standard, especially those who make a decision to move to developed countries may deal with costly accommodation and amenities. Overseas students also need to deal with various fees; however, they are allowed to work part time with a limited number of hours. Having inability to afford electricity or water bills or necessities on a daily basis causes their lives to become impoverished and full of inconvenience.
In conclusion, working and studying abroad is a clear-cut opportunity to develop individuals’ knowledge and experiences which allow them to seek better future jobs whereas they have to undergo plenty of difficulties with the new environment and high cost of living there.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Nowadays, it is increasingly popular that many people decide to work and study abroad." -> "It is increasingly common for many individuals to choose to work and study abroad."
   Explanation: The original phrase "it is increasingly popular that" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. The suggested revision clarifies the subject and verb agreement, enhancing the formal tone and readability.

2. "they may cope with a variety of challenges" -> "they may encounter various challenges"
   Explanation: "cope with" is somewhat informal and can imply a sense of struggle or difficulty that might not be intended. "Encounter" is more neutral and appropriate for academic writing.

3. "living in other countries enables individuals to broaden their horizons" -> "residing in foreign countries allows individuals to expand their horizons"
   Explanation: "Residing" is more formal than "living," and "expand" is a more precise verb than "broaden" in this context, emphasizing the idea of increasing knowledge and understanding.

4. "sample local cuisine" -> "sample local cuisine options"
   Explanation: Adding "options" clarifies that the subject is referring to the variety of local foods available, enhancing specificity.

5. "learn about that country through witnessing directly" -> "learn about the country firsthand"
   Explanation: "Witnessing directly" is awkward and verbose. "Firsthand" is a more concise and academically appropriate term.

6. "people having a keen sense of adventure" -> "individuals with a keen sense of adventure"
   Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "people," and the phrase structure is more precise and grammatically correct.

7. "These people, as a result, are able to acquire different kinds of knowledge and cultures." -> "These individuals thus gain diverse knowledge and cultural insights."
   Explanation: "Thus" is more formal than "as a result," and "diverse knowledge and cultural insights" is a more precise and academic way to describe the acquisition of knowledge and cultural understanding.

8. "A significant number of international companies require their employees’ international degree or working abroad experience." -> "Many international companies demand international degrees or work experience from their employees."
   Explanation: "Demand" is more direct and formal than "require," and rephrasing the sentence improves clarity and flow.

9. "These elements make the candidate more beneficial and be evaluated as brilliant candidates" -> "These factors enhance the candidate’s profile and increase their chances of being evaluated as highly qualified."
   Explanation: "Enhance the candidate’s profile" and "increase their chances of being evaluated as highly qualified" are more precise and formal, avoiding the awkward and incorrect "make the candidate more beneficial and be evaluated."

10. "If someone finds difficulty in language barrier" -> "If someone encounters a language barrier"
    Explanation: "Encounters a language barrier" is grammatically correct and more formal than "finds difficulty in language barrier."

11. "he or she must be under pressure of misunderstanding" -> "they may face pressure from misunderstandings"
    Explanation: "They may face pressure from misunderstandings" is more formal and avoids the awkward construction of "must be under pressure of."

12. "being allergic to common food in other countries" -> "having food allergies in other countries"
    Explanation: "Having food allergies" is a more precise and formal way to express the concept.

13. "Having inability to afford electricity or water bills or necessities on a daily basis" -> "Inability to afford daily necessities such as electricity and water bills"
    Explanation: This revision clarifies and formalizes the sentence structure, making it more suitable for academic writing.

14. "full of inconvenience" -> "characterized by inconvenience"
    Explanation: "Characterized by" is more formal and precise than "full of," which is colloquial and vague in this context.

These changes enhance the formality, clarity, and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of living and working abroad. The first body paragraph outlines several benefits, such as broadening horizons and improving job prospects, supported by relevant examples. The second body paragraph discusses challenges, including culture shock and financial difficulties, which also aligns with the prompt. However, the discussion of disadvantages could be expanded to include more specific examples or a deeper exploration of the issues mentioned.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, consider providing more detailed examples for each point made. For instance, when discussing culture shock, you could elaborate on specific scenarios or personal anecdotes that illustrate the challenges faced. Additionally, including a counterpoint or a more nuanced view of the advantages could provide a more balanced discussion.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges both the benefits and challenges of living abroad. The introduction sets the stage for a balanced discussion, and the conclusion reinforces the idea that while there are significant advantages, difficulties also exist. However, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother to enhance coherence.
  • How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the essay. For example, phrases like "On the contrary" or "Conversely" can help signal the shift from discussing advantages to disadvantages. Additionally, reiterating the main points in the conclusion can strengthen the overall argument.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the advantages and disadvantages of living abroad, with some level of support. The points about broadening horizons and job prospects are well articulated, but the support for the disadvantages, particularly regarding culture shock and financial issues, could be more robust. For example, while the mention of allergies is relevant, it could be expanded to discuss how this impacts daily life.
  • How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, consider using more specific examples and evidence. For instance, when discussing job prospects, you could reference statistics or studies that show how international experience is valued by employers. Similarly, when addressing financial challenges, providing data on the cost of living in various countries could add depth to your argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of living and working abroad. Each paragraph contributes to the overall discussion without straying off-topic. However, there are moments where the ideas could be more tightly connected to the central theme, particularly in the transition between points.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, ensure that each point directly ties back to the main topic. When introducing a new idea, briefly explain how it relates to the advantages or disadvantages of living abroad. This will help reinforce the central theme and keep the reader engaged.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-organized response. By incorporating more detailed examples, enhancing transitions, and ensuring each point is tightly connected to the topic, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with a logical progression of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion of advantages and disadvantages, and the body paragraphs are well-defined, addressing each aspect separately. For example, the first body paragraph discusses the benefits of broadening horizons, while the second focuses on job prospects. However, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother, as the shift to the opposing viewpoint feels somewhat abrupt.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely" at the beginning of the paragraph discussing disadvantages. Additionally, summarizing the main points of the advantages before transitioning to the disadvantages could provide a clearer connection between the two sections.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in readability. Each paragraph has a clear focus, and the use of topic sentences helps to establish the main idea of each section. For instance, the first paragraph introduces the benefits of living abroad, while the subsequent paragraphs delve into specific advantages and disadvantages. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea.
  • How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph begins with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For example, the second body paragraph could start with a sentence like, "One of the primary advantages of living abroad is the enhancement of job prospects," which would provide a clearer focus for the reader.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "Moreover," and "On the other hand," which help to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "these problems therefore lead to homesickness" could be better connected to the previous sentence for clarity.
  • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Additionally" to introduce new points, "Consequently" to indicate results, or "In contrast" to highlight differences. Furthermore, ensure that each cohesive device is used effectively by checking that it logically connects the ideas it is meant to bridge.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of living and working abroad. Phrases such as "broaden their horizons," "keen sense of adventure," and "culture shock" are effective and appropriate. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "living abroad" and "working abroad" could be substituted with synonyms like "overseas living" or "employment overseas" to enhance lexical diversity.
  • How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader range of synonyms and expressions. This can be achieved by brainstorming alternative phrases during the planning phase of writing or using a thesaurus to find varied vocabulary that fits the context.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "beneficial and be evaluated as brilliant candidates" is awkward and could be clearer. The term "beneficial" is typically used to describe something that provides an advantage, but here it is misused as an adjective for candidates. Instead, "more competitive" or "more attractive" would be more precise.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on the context in which vocabulary is used. Reading more academic essays or articles can help in understanding how to use certain words correctly. Additionally, revising sentences for clarity and coherence can help identify imprecise vocabulary choices.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors present. For example, the phrase "having inability to afford" should be "the inability to afford." Such errors do not significantly detract from the overall quality but indicate areas for improvement.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, focusing on commonly misspelled words and phrases. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can also help catch errors that may be overlooked during the writing process.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary appropriate for the topic, but with some targeted improvements in variety, precision, and spelling, the writer could enhance their Lexical Resource score further.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "living in other countries enables individuals to broaden their horizons" and "people having a keen sense of adventure generally prefer moving to new places" showcases an understanding of how to construct sentences with different elements. However, there are instances where the sentence structures could be more varied. For instance, the phrase "these problems therefore lead to homesickness or a sense of isolation" could be restructured to enhance clarity and impact.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses and varying the length of sentences for rhythm. For example, instead of saying "these problems therefore lead to homesickness or a sense of isolation," you could say, "As a result of these problems, many individuals may experience homesickness or a profound sense of isolation." Additionally, using more transitional phrases can help connect ideas more fluidly.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are some noticeable errors. For example, the phrase "be evaluated as brilliant candidates" should be corrected to "be evaluated as brilliant candidates" for grammatical accuracy. Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as missing commas that could clarify meaning, particularly in complex sentences. For instance, in "If someone finds difficulty in language barrier, he or she must be under pressure of misunderstanding," a comma after "barrier" would improve readability.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect prepositions. Practicing grammar exercises focused on these areas can also be beneficial. For punctuation, familiarize yourself with the rules regarding the use of commas in complex sentences and lists. Reading your essay aloud can help identify areas where pauses (and thus commas) are needed for clarity.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical and punctuation accuracy will help achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, it is increasingly common for many people to decide to work and study abroad. While there are various advantages, they may also encounter a variety of challenges.

On the one hand, living in other countries enables individuals to broaden their horizons because they can experience a change of scenery. For instance, they have the chance to sample local cuisine that cannot be tried in their home country or learn about that country firsthand instead of just reading books. Moreover, individuals with a keen sense of adventure generally prefer moving to new places to explore and immerse themselves in new environments. These individuals thus gain diverse knowledge and cultural insights.

The second factor contributing to the importance of living and working overseas is the improvement of job prospects. A significant number of international companies require their employees to have international degrees or work experience abroad. These elements enhance the candidate’s profile and increase their chances of being evaluated as highly qualified when applying for a job.

On the other hand, some people living abroad have to face culture shock at first. There are many cultural differences between two countries, such as language, food, clothes, and so on. If someone encounters a language barrier, he or she may face pressure from misunderstandings and spend a great deal of time acquiring a new language. On top of that, having food allergies in other countries can severely harm their physical and mental health. These problems can therefore lead to homesickness or a sense of isolation.

Another issue is that people cannot fulfill their living standards, especially those who decide to move to developed countries, as they may deal with costly accommodation and amenities. Overseas students also need to manage various fees; however, they are allowed to work part-time with a limited number of hours. The inability to afford daily necessities such as electricity and water bills can make their lives impoverished and characterized by inconvenience.

In conclusion, working and studying abroad is a clear-cut opportunity to develop individuals’ knowledge and experiences, which allows them to seek better future jobs. However, they also have to undergo many difficulties related to the new environment and the high cost of living there.