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Think of two different teachers you have had. Was one method more interesting or effective for you?’ Compare their teaching methods using block organization and the same points of comparison.

Think of two different teachers you have had. Was one method more interesting or effective for you?' Compare their teaching methods using block organization and the same points of comparison.

In class, while paying attention in the lesson, I usually watch the way that a teacher is teaching. Watching a teacher teaching their student is an interesting work. Each teacher will has a lot of different way to teaching, although that the knowlege seems to be same. For the example, I will compare two teachers in my school, how they teaching and the benefits of these methods.

The first teacher is my Literature teacher at grade 6. Her teaching method is teaching and writing alot. It means that in our notebook, it hasve a lot of information about the lesson and it very easy to review again when you forget or before having a test. But the disadvantage of this method is it take a lot of time. Like to write a lesson, my teacher must have to talk fast or the lesson have to longer to the next lesson.

The second one is my Literature teacher right now. Differently to my first teacher, she is spending her time to teach to class about the lesson and the writing in note book is very little. In this method, the time that she can tell about the lesson is more and she can teach alot about the detail of the lesson. It is very good way but when you need to review or see it again, it kinds of hard. In the notebook it only have some general information, you must to remember all of the details by yourself and need to pay attention in the lesson.

In conclusion, both these method are having different advantages and disadvantages. The one that is good to your review is has less information and the one that have a lot of information is hard when review. No method is perfect. But in my opinion, I think that the second teacher's method is more effective with me than the first one.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "watch the way that a teacher is teaching" -> "observe the manner in which a teacher instructs"
    Explanation: Replacing "watch the way that a teacher is teaching" with "observe the manner in which a teacher instructs" elevates the formality and precision of the expression, avoiding redundancy.

  2. "teacher will has a lot of different way to teaching" -> "teacher will employ various methods of instruction"
    Explanation: Substituting "teacher will has a lot of different way to teaching" with "teacher will employ various methods of instruction" enhances the academic style by using more accurate and formal terminology.

  3. "although that the knowlege seems to be same" -> "although the content appears similar"
    Explanation: Changing "although that the knowledge seems to be same" to "although the content appears similar" improves clarity and aligns with formal language norms.

  4. "I will compare two teachers in my school" -> "I will contrast two teachers at my school"
    Explanation: Replacing "I will compare two teachers in my school" with "I will contrast two teachers at my school" provides a more precise and suitable term for examining differences.

  5. "it hasve a lot of information" -> "it contains a wealth of information"
    Explanation: Correcting the typo in "it hasve a lot of information" to "it contains a wealth of information" maintains formality and readability.

  6. "writing alot" -> "writing extensively"
    Explanation: Substituting "writing alot" with "writing extensively" improves the sophistication of the language and avoids informal spelling.

  7. "it very easy to review again" -> "it is very easy to review"
    Explanation: Changing "it very easy to review again" to "it is very easy to review" ensures grammatical accuracy and enhances the formality of the expression.

  8. "it take a lot of time" -> "it consumes a significant amount of time"
    Explanation: Replacing "it take a lot of time" with "it consumes a significant amount of time" adds precision and formality to the statement.

  9. "she is spending her time to teach to class" -> "she dedicates her time to instructing the class"
    Explanation: Substituting "she is spending her time to teach to class" with "she dedicates her time to instructing the class" conveys the idea more formally and accurately.

  10. "but when you need to review or see it again, it kinds of hard" -> "but when you need to review or revisit it, it becomes somewhat challenging"
    Explanation: Changing "but when you need to review or see it again, it kinds of hard" to "but when you need to review or revisit it, it becomes somewhat challenging" improves clarity and formality.

Note: Overall, the revised essay aims to maintain a formal and academic tone while addressing the identified errors.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "In class, while paying attention in the lesson, I usually watch the way that a teacher is teaching. Watching a teacher teaching their student is an interesting work. Each teacher will has a lot of different way to teaching, although that the knowlege seems to be same."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestion: The introduction lacks clarity regarding your stance on the topic. It’s essential to clearly state whether you find one teaching method more effective or interesting. To enhance this, provide a concise thesis statement outlining your position, which will guide your essay. For instance, you could state, "In comparing two teachers, I find one teaching method more effective due to XYZ reasons."
    • Improved example: "In comparing two teachers, I find one teaching method more effective due to its emphasis on detailed explanations, even though both teachers cover the same content."
  2. Quoted text: "The first teacher is my Literature teacher at grade 6. Her teaching method is teaching and writing alot. It means that in our notebook, it hasve a lot of information about the lesson and it very easy to review again when you forget or before having a test. But the disadvantage of this method is it take a lot of time."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestion: Your explanation of the first teacher’s method is reasonable, but it lacks specific examples or details. To strengthen your argument, provide concrete instances of how detailed notes helped you in reviewing for a test or understanding complex concepts. This will make your response more persuasive.
    • Improved example: "For instance, during the preparation for our final literature exam, the comprehensive notes provided by my grade 6 teacher proved invaluable. I could easily revisit complex concepts and refresh my understanding before the test, contributing to my overall success."
  3. Quoted text: "The second one is my Literature teacher right now. Differently to my first teacher, she is spending her time to teach to class about the lesson and the writing in note book is very little."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestion: Your explanation of the second teacher’s method is somewhat clear, but it would benefit from more specific examples. How does the teacher ensure understanding without extensive note-taking? Provide instances where the teacher’s method facilitated a deeper understanding.
    • Improved example: "In contrast, my current literature teacher relies less on written notes and more on interactive class discussions. For example, she often engages the class in thought-provoking discussions about the lesson, encouraging us to analyze and understand the material in-depth. This approach fosters a more profound comprehension of the subject matter."

Overall, while you present a balanced comparison, enhancing your thesis statement and providing more specific examples will strengthen your essay’s clarity and persuasiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay organizes information and ideas coherently with a clear overall progression. However, there are some issues with cohesion within and between sentences, leading to occasional faults in the flow. The use of cohesive devices is effective but not flawless, and there is room for improvement in referencing and substitution. Paragraphing is utilized, but it is not always logical.

How to improve: Pay attention to the coherence within sentences and ensure a smoother flow between ideas. Use cohesive devices more precisely and avoid any faulty or mechanical usage. Improve referencing and substitution to enhance clarity. Focus on logical paragraphing to strengthen the overall structure of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay falls within the Band 6 descriptor for Lexical Resource. The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there are attempts to use less common vocabulary with some inaccuracies. The essay demonstrates an awareness of style and collocation, and while there are errors in word choice and word formation, they do not impede communication significantly. The writer successfully conveys their ideas with a mix of common and less common vocabulary, though improvements can be made for greater precision.

How to improve:

  1. Grammar and Sentence Structure: The essay has several grammatical errors, such as "watching a teacher teaching their student" and "it very easy." Strive for clearer and more precise sentence structures.

  2. Word Choice and Spelling: The writer occasionally struggles with word choice and spelling, as seen in "knowlege," "alot," and "hasve." Proofreading is essential to eliminate these errors and enhance overall lexical accuracy.

  3. Organization and Cohesion: The organization of ideas is generally clear, but improvements can be made in terms of coherence. Use transition words to create smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs.

  4. Detail and Elaboration: While the essay presents a comparison between two teachers, adding more specific examples and details could strengthen the content. This would contribute to a more nuanced and thorough analysis.

  5. Review and Revision: Encourage the writer to review and revise their essay carefully. This will help identify and rectify errors in vocabulary, grammar, and overall clarity. A more polished and refined essay will contribute to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, contributing to a varied structure. There are noticeable grammatical errors and punctuation issues throughout the essay, but they rarely hinder communication. The essay does convey a clear comparison of the two teachers’ methods, providing specific details for each. However, language usage could be improved for greater clarity and precision.

How to improve:

  1. Grammar and Punctuation: Review and revise sentences to correct grammatical errors and punctuation issues. This will enhance overall clarity and coherence.

  2. Sentence Structure: Aim for a more consistent and sophisticated use of sentence structures. Vary the length and complexity of sentences to add fluency and style to the writing.

  3. Word Choice and Expression: Choose precise and appropriate vocabulary to convey ideas more effectively. Be attentive to the flow of ideas and how they connect within sentences and paragraphs.

  4. Proofreading: Prioritize proofreading to catch and rectify errors, ensuring that the writing is more polished and reflects a higher level of grammatical accuracy.

By addressing these areas, the essay can elevate its grammatical range and accuracy, moving towards a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the classroom, as I engage with the lesson, I often observe the teaching methods employed by my educators. Examining how a teacher imparts knowledge to their students is a fascinating endeavor. Each teacher employs various approaches to teaching, even when the subject matter appears to be the same. To illustrate this point, I will compare the teaching styles of two teachers in my school, focusing on their methods and the advantages and disadvantages associated with each.

The first teacher, my Literature instructor in grade 6, adopts a teaching approach that involves a significant amount of writing. Consequently, our notebooks are filled with extensive information about each lesson, making it convenient for review when needed, especially before a test. However, this method has a drawback – it consumes a considerable amount of time. To cover a lesson adequately, my teacher must either speak rapidly or extend the duration of the class, impacting the pace of learning.

In contrast, my current Literature teacher employs a different strategy. Instead of emphasizing extensive note-taking, she invests more time in directly teaching the class about the lesson. While this allows for in-depth coverage of the subject matter during the lesson, the amount of information documented in our notebooks is minimal. This approach proves beneficial for understanding the details of the lesson in the moment, but it poses challenges during review. The notebook contains only general information, requiring students to rely on their memory and attentiveness during class for a comprehensive understanding.

In conclusion, both teaching methods exhibit distinct advantages and disadvantages. A method with fewer details in notes is advantageous for quick reviews, while a method with more comprehensive note-taking proves challenging during revision. It’s important to recognize that no method is flawless. Personally, I find the teaching approach of my current Literature teacher more effective for me than that of my previous teacher, despite its limitations.

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