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Too many young people and too many old people are enough. do not exercise enough What is causing this? What can be done to change this?

Too many young people and too many old people are enough. do not exercise enough What is causing this? What can be done to change this?

In recent decades, both young and old people have tended to lead a sedentary lifestyle, which has had negative impacts on their health and well-being. This essay will discuss the main causes of this problem and suggest some possible solutions.
One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms. According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people's daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens. Additionally, with the modern era of automatic vehicles, which facilitate communities’ demand for comfort and abrupt commutes, people are more likely to use cars or other motorized vehicles for transportation instead of walking or cycling. Suppose this situation has existed for a long time. In that case, it is likely to lead to chronic diseases for health conditions such as obesity and the cardiovascular system, as well as a shortening of lifespan that puts jeopardy on human existence.
It is necessary to propose many appropriate approaches to mitigate this trend. The initial solution is that the government embarks on campaigns to increase awareness and promote the conducive benefits of an active lifestyle. If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries. Last but not least, the principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectiveness when facing overwork or working overtime. For instance, the M&M company offers wellness programs, including physical activity. As a result, this program receives a great deal of employee satisfaction for the foreseeable merits of their health.
In conclusion, the lack of physical activity among young and old people is a serious problem that can be attributed to the influence of technology and the preference for comfort and convenience. However, this problem can be solved by raising awareness and providing more incentives and support for people to exercise.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "young and old people" -> "individuals of various age groups"
    Explanation: Replacing "young and old people" with "individuals of various age groups" adds formality and specificity to the description of the demographic affected by a sedentary lifestyle.

  2. "lead a sedentary lifestyle" -> "adopt a sedentary lifestyle"
    Explanation: Changing "lead" to "adopt" enhances the formality of the expression, making it more suitable for an academic context.

  3. "negative impacts" -> "adverse effects"
    Explanation: Substituting "negative impacts" with "adverse effects" introduces a more formal and precise term, aligning better with academic language.

  4. "discuss the main causes of this problem" -> "examine the primary factors contributing to this issue"
    Explanation: The replacement provides a more sophisticated and precise expression for discussing the causes in an academic context.

  5. "booming technological development" -> "rapid technological advancement"
    Explanation: Swapping "booming technological development" with "rapid technological advancement" maintains the emphasis on progress while using more formal language.

  6. "high-device gadgets" -> "sophisticated electronic devices"
    Explanation: Replacing "high-device gadgets" with "sophisticated electronic devices" improves the precision and formality of the description.

  7. "dramatic time" -> "considerable time"
    Explanation: Changing "dramatic time" to "considerable time" enhances the formality of the expression, making it more suitable for an academic context.

  8. "virtual space" -> "online environment"
    Explanation: Substituting "virtual space" with "online environment" offers a more precise and academically appropriate term.

  9. "people cannot stand consuming content" -> "individuals prefer consuming content"
    Explanation: The replacement avoids informal language, providing a more academically appropriate expression.

  10. "automatic vehicles" -> "automated vehicles"
    Explanation: Replacing "automatic vehicles" with "automated vehicles" is a more precise and formal term, suitable for academic writing.

  11. "commutes" -> "journeys"
    Explanation: Changing "commutes" to "journeys" adds formality to the expression, aligning it better with academic style.

  12. "it is likely to lead to chronic diseases" -> "it is likely to contribute to the development of chronic diseases"
    Explanation: The replacement provides a more nuanced and academically appropriate expression for the causal relationship between a sedentary lifestyle and chronic diseases.

  13. "supposed to be extra physical activities" -> "encouraged to engage in additional physical activities"
    Explanation: Substituting "supposed to be extra physical activities" with "encouraged to engage in additional physical activities" offers a more precise and formal expression.

  14. "subordinates" -> "employees"
    Explanation: Replacing "subordinates" with "employees" is a more neutral and widely accepted term in an academic and professional context.

  15. "the principles of corporations are supposed to" -> "corporate principles should"
    Explanation: The replacement streamlines the expression and provides a more direct and formal statement.

  16. "alertness and work effectiveness" -> "vigilance and work efficiency"
    Explanation: Changing "alertness and work effectiveness" to "vigilance and work efficiency" introduces more formal and precise terms.

  17. "overwork or working overtime" -> "extended work hours"
    Explanation: Replacing "overwork or working overtime" with "extended work hours" offers a more formal and specific description.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

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  3. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphonesBand Score: 6.0

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  6. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptopsBand Score: 6.0

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  28. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual spaceBand Score: 6.0

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  36. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that peopleBand Score: 6.0

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    Band Score: 6.0

  51. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social mediaBand Score: 6.0

  52. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."
    Band Score: 6.0

  53. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media orBand Score: 6.0

  54. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."
    Band Score: 6.0

  55. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or otherBand Score: 6.0

  56. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • **Band Score: 6.0
  57. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digitalBand Score: 6.0

  58. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation andBand Score**: 6.0
  59. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."
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  60. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and ImprovementBand Score**: 6.0
  61. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."
    Band Score: 6.0

  62. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement SuggestionsBand Score**: 6.0
  63. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: TheBand Score: 6.0
  64. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions:Band Score: 6.0
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    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure hereBand Score: 6.0
  66. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: TheBand Score: 6.0
  67. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complexBand Score: 6.0
  68. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essayBand Score: 6.0
  69. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex,Band Score: 6.0
  70. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifiesBand Score: 6.0
  71. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leadingBand Score: 6.0
  72. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technologicalBand Score: 6.0
  73. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading toBand Score: 6.0
  74. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancementsBand Score: 6.0
  75. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusionBand Score: 6.0
  76. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements asBand Score: 6.0
  77. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion inBand Score: 6.0
  78. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as aBand Score: 6.0
  79. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in theBand Score: 6.0
  80. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause forBand Score: 6.0
  81. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intendedBand Score: 6.0
  82. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedBand Score: 6.0
  83. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning.Band Score: 6.0
  84. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentBand Score: 6.0
  85. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. ItBand Score: 6.0
  86. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentaryBand Score: 6.0
  87. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appearsBand Score: 6.0
  88. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestylesBand Score: 6.0
  89. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears toBand Score: 6.0
  90. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacksBand Score: 6.0
  91. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggestBand Score: 6.0
  92. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificityBand Score: 6.0
  93. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest thatBand Score: 6.0
  94. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explainingBand Score: 6.0
  95. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannotBand Score: 6.0
  96. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining howBand Score: 6.0
  97. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot standBand Score: 6.0
  98. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how theseBand Score: 6.0
  99. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming contentBand Score: 6.0
  100. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directlyBand Score: 6.0
  101. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content onBand Score: 6.0
  102. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contributeBand Score: 6.0
  103. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on socialBand Score: 6.0
  104. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute toBand Score: 6.0
  105. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social mediaBand Score: 6.0
  106. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reducedBand Score: 6.0
  107. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, whichBand Score: 6.0
  108. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activityBand Score: 6.0
  109. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which mightBand Score: 6.0
  110. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. ToBand Score: 6.0
  111. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not beBand Score: 6.0
  112. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improveBand Score: 6.0
  113. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be theBand Score: 6.0
  114. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve,Band Score: 6.0
  115. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intendedBand Score: 6.0
  116. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delveBand Score: 6.0
  117. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  118. **Band Score: 6.0

  119. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper intoBand Score: 6.0
  120. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  121. Quoted text: "Band Score: 6.0

  122. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into howBand Score: 6.0
  123. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  124. Quoted text: "If more people areBand Score: 6.0

  125. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how theBand Score: 6.0
  126. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  127. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this willBand Score: 6.0

  128. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the designBand Score: 6.0
  129. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  130. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to takeBand Score: 6.0

  131. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design orBand Score: 6.0
  132. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  133. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps neededBand Score: 6.0

  134. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictiveBand Score: 6.0
  135. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  136. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only toBand Score: 6.0

  137. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive natureBand Score: 6.0
  138. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  139. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but alsoBand Score: 6.0

  140. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourBand Score: 6.0
  141. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  142. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also toBand Score: 6.0

  143. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discouragesBand Score: 6.0
  144. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  145. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the healthBand Score: 6.0

  146. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physicalBand Score: 6.0
  147. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  148. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and wellBand Score: 6.0

  149. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movementBand Score: 6.0
  150. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  151. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-beingBand Score: 6.0

  152. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement.Band Score: 6.0
  153. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  154. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being ofBand Score: 6.0

  155. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. ForBand Score: 6.0
  156. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  157. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developingBand Score: 6.0

  158. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instanceBand Score: 6.0
  159. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  160. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing andBand Score: 6.0

  161. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussingBand Score: 6.0
  162. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  163. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developedBand Score: 6.0

  164. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing howBand Score: 6.0
  165. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  166. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countriesBand Score: 6.0

  167. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how socialBand Score: 6.0
  168. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  169. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."
    Band Score: 6.0

  170. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social mediaBand Score: 6.0
  171. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  172. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."
    Band Score: 6.0

  173. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagementBand Score: 6.0
  174. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  175. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • **Band Score: 6.0
  176. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement orBand Score: 6.0
  177. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  178. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • ExplanationBand Score**: 6.0
  179. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or videoBand Score: 6.0
  180. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  181. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation andBand Score**: 6.0
  182. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video gamesBand Score: 6.0
  183. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  184. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement SuggestionsBand Score**: 6.0
  185. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captBand Score: 6.0
  186. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  187. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions:Band Score: 6.0
  188. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivateBand Score: 6.0
  189. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  190. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The pointBand Score: 6.0
  191. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate usersBand Score: 6.0
  192. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  193. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacksBand Score: 6.0
  194. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users,Band Score: 6.0
  195. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  196. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificityBand Score: 6.0
  197. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leadingBand Score: 6.0
  198. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  199. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity andBand Score: 6.0
  200. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading toBand Score: 6.0
  201. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  202. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regardingBand Score: 6.0
  203. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periodsBand Score: 6.0
  204. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  205. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how educationBand Score: 6.0
  206. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods ofBand Score: 6.0
  207. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  208. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education willBand Score: 6.0
  209. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivityBand Score: 6.0
  210. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  211. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly leadBand Score: 6.0
  212. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity,Band Score: 6.0
  213. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  214. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead toBand Score: 6.0
  215. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, wouldBand Score: 6.0
  216. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  217. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increasedBand Score: 6.0
  218. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthenBand Score: 6.0
  219. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  220. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physicalBand Score: 6.0
  221. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argumentBand Score: 6.0
  222. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  223. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity.Band Score: 6.0
  224. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarityBand Score: 6.0
  225. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  226. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. ElaborBand Score: 6.0
  227. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity andBand Score: 6.0
  228. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  229. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on theBand Score: 6.0
  230. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevanceBand Score: 6.0
  231. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  232. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educationalBand Score: 6.0
  233. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the promptBand Score: 6.0
  234. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  235. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiativesBand Score: 6.0
  236. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
      Band Score: 6.0
  237. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  238. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programsBand Score: 6.0
  239. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
      Band Score: 6.0
  240. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  241. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influenceBand Score: 6.0
  242. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
      Band Score: 6.0
  243. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  244. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence peopleBand Score: 6.0
  245. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • **Band Score: 6.0
  246. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  247. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behaviorBand Score: 6.0
  248. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • ImprovedBand Score**: 6.0
  249. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  250. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towardsBand Score: 6.0
  251. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved exampleBand Score**: 6.0
  252. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  253. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exerciseBand Score: 6.0
  254. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example:Band Score: 6.0
  255. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  256. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise wouldBand Score: 6.0
  257. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "Band Score: 6.0
  258. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  259. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthenBand Score: 6.0
  260. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "TheBand Score: 6.0
  261. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  262. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen thisBand Score: 6.0
  263. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferationBand Score: 6.0
  264. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  265. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argumentBand Score: 6.0
  266. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation ofBand Score: 6.0
  267. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  268. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
      Band Score: 6.0
  269. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of highBand Score: 6.0
  270. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  271. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
      Band Score: 6.0
  272. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-techBand Score: 6.0
  273. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  274. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
      Band Score: 6.0
  275. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgetsBand Score: 6.0
  276. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  277. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved exampleBand Score**: 6.0
  278. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speedBand Score: 6.0
  279. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  280. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example:Band Score: 6.0
  281. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptopsBand Score: 6.0
  282. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  283. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "Band Score: 6.0
  284. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionBand Score: 6.0
  285. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  286. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "ByBand Score: 6.0
  287. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionizedBand Score: 6.0
  288. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  289. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporatingBand Score: 6.0
  290. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized dailyBand Score: 6.0
  291. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  292. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitnessBand Score: 6.0
  293. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily lifeBand Score: 6.0
  294. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  295. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness educationBand Score: 6.0
  296. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life.Band Score: 6.0
  297. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  298. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculBand Score: 6.0
  299. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. ForBand Score: 6.0
  300. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  301. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculumsBand Score: 6.0
  302. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, theBand Score: 6.0
  303. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  304. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars,Band Score: 6.0
  305. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allureBand Score: 6.0
  306. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  307. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individualsBand Score: 6.0
  308. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure ofBand Score: 6.0
  309. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  310. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals canBand Score: 6.0
  311. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of socialBand Score: 6.0
  312. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  313. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gainBand Score: 6.0
  314. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platformsBand Score: 6.0
  315. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  316. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouragingBand Score: 6.0
  317. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital contentBand Score: 6.0
  318. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  319. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging themBand Score: 6.0
  320. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumptionBand Score: 6.0
  321. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  322. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them toBand Score: 6.0
  323. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensBand Score: 6.0
  324. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  325. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrateBand Score: 6.0
  326. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individualsBand Score: 6.0
  327. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  328. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exerciseBand Score: 6.0
  329. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals,Band Score: 6.0
  330. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  331. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise intoBand Score: 6.0
  332. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resultingBand Score: 6.0
  333. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  334. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into theirBand Score: 6.0
  335. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting inBand Score: 6.0
  336. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  337. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their dailyBand Score: 6.0
  338. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periodsBand Score: 6.0
  339. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  340. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routinesBand Score: 6.0
  341. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immBand Score: 6.0
  342. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  343. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobilityBand Score: 6.0
  2. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  3. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."

3Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. TheBand Score: 6.0
  2. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  3. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."

3.Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivatingBand Score: 6.0
  2. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  3. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  4. **Band Score: 6.0

  5. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature ofBand Score: 6.0
  6. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  7. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  8. QuBand Score**: 6.0

  9. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of theseBand Score: 6.0
  10. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  11. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  12. Quoted textBand Score**: 6.0

  13. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologiesBand Score: 6.0
  14. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  15. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  16. Quoted text:Band Score: 6.0

  17. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fostBand Score: 6.0
  18. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  19. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  20. Quoted text: "TheBand Score: 6.0

  21. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters aBand Score: 6.0
  22. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  23. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  24. Quoted text: "The principles of corporationsBand Score: 6.0

  25. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedBand Score: 6.0
  26. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  27. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  28. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extraBand Score: 6.0

  29. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentBand Score: 6.0
  30. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  31. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  32. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for theirBand Score: 6.0

  33. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activityBand Score: 6.0
  34. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  35. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  36. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates inBand Score: 6.0

  37. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  38. **Band Score: 6.0

  39. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  40. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  41. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in orderBand Score: 6.0

  42. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  43. Quoted text:Band Score: 6.0

  44. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  45. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  46. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order toBand Score: 6.0

  47. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  48. Quoted text: "Band Score: 6.0

  49. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  50. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  51. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivateBand Score: 6.0

  52. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  53. Quoted text: "AccordingBand Score: 6.0

  54. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  55. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  56. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertBand Score: 6.0

  57. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  58. Quoted text: "According toBand Score: 6.0

  59. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  60. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  61. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertnessBand Score: 6.0

  62. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  63. Quoted text: "According to aBand Score: 6.0

  64. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  65. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  66. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness andBand Score: 6.0

  67. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  68. Quoted text: "According to a surveyBand Score: 6.0

  69. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  70. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  71. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectivenessBand Score: 6.0

  72. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  73. Quoted text: "According to a survey in ChinaBand Score: 6.0

  74. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  75. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  76. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectiveness whenBand Score: 6.0

  77. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  78. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China inBand Score: 6.0

  79. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  80. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  81. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectiveness when facingBand Score: 6.0

  82. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  83. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in Band Score: 6.0

  84. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  85. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  86. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectiveness when facing overworkBand Score: 6.0

  87. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  88. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020Band Score: 6.0

  89. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  90. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  91. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectiveness when facing overwork orBand Score: 6.0

  92. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  93. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020,Band Score: 6.0

  94. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  95. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  96. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectiveness when facing overwork or workingBand Score: 6.0

  97. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  98. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, Band Score: 6.0

  99. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  100. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  101. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectiveness when facing overwork or working overtimeBand Score: 6.0

  102. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  103. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70Band Score: 6.0

  104. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  105. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  106. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectiveness when facing overwork or working overtime."
    Band Score: 6.0

  107. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  108. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70%Band Score: 6.0

  109. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  110. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  111. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectiveness when facing overwork or working overtime."
    Band Score: 6.0

  112. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  113. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% ofBand Score: 6.0

  114. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  115. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  116. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectiveness when facing overwork or working overtime."
    Band Score: 6.0

  117. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  118. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of youngBand Score: 6.0

  119. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  120. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  121. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectiveness when facing overwork or working overtime."

    • **Band Score: 6.0
  122. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  123. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’sBand Score: 6.0

  124. Quoted text: "In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The sentence structure here is complex, leading to confusion in the intended meaning. It appears to suggest that people cannot stand consuming content on social media, which might not be the intended idea. Simplifying this sentence for clarity would strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Many individuals spend significant time in a virtual space engrossed in various social platforms, consuming vast amounts of content on social media and digital platforms."
  125. Quoted text: "If more people are educated, this will encourage them to take the extra steps needed not only to enhance their lifestyle but also to improve the health and well-being of people in developing and developed countries."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point lacks specificity and clarity regarding how education will directly lead to increased physical activity. Elaborating on the educational initiatives or programs that could directly influence people’s behavior towards exercise would strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "By incorporating fitness education into school curriculums or workplace seminars, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of the importance of physical activity, encouraging them to integrate exercise into their daily routines."
  126. Quoted text: "The principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectiveness when facing overwork or working overtime."

    • Explanation andBand Score**: 6.0
  127. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  128. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s dailyBand Score: 6.0

  129. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  130. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activitiesBand Score: 6.0

  131. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  132. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities takeBand Score: 6.0

  133. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  134. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantageBand Score: 6.0

  135. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  136. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of lacksBand Score: 6.0

  137. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  138. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connectingBand Score: 6.0

  139. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  140. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting withBand Score: 6.0

  141. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  142. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computersBand Score: 6.0

  143. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  144. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and principlesBand Score: 6.0

  145. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  146. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screensBand Score: 6.0

  147. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  148. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."
    Band Score: 6.0

  149. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  150. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."
    Band Score: 6.0

  151. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  152. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."
    Band Score: 6.0

  153. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  154. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • **Band Score: 6.0
  155. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  156. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and amongBand Score**: 6.0
  157. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  158. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and ImprovementBand Score**: 6.0
  159. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  160. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement SuggestionsBand Score**: 6.0
  161. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  162. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions:Band Score: 6.0
  163. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  164. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: WhileBand Score: 6.0
  165. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  166. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a fromBand Score: 6.0
  167. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  168. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey isBand Score: 6.0
  169. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  170. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficialBand Score: 6.0
  171. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  172. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial,Band Score: 6.0
  173. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  174. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, theBand Score: 6.0
  175. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  176. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essayBand Score: 6.0
  177. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  178. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacksBand Score: 6.0
  179. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  180. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks varietyBand Score: 6.0
  181. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  182. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety inBand Score: 6.0
  183. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  184. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supportingBand Score: 6.0
  185. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  186. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidenceBand Score: 6.0
  187. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  188. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and directlyBand Score: 6.0
  189. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  190. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes to fostering physicalBand Score: 6.0
  191. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  192. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by.
      Band Score: 6.0
  193. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  194. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by usingBand Score: 6.0
  195. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  196. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using aBand Score: 6.0
  197. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  198. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic exampleBand Score: 6.0
  199. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  200. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic fromBand Score: 6.0
  201. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  202. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from aBand Score: 6.0
  203. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  204. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specificporBand Score: 6.0
  205. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  206. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific regionBand Score: 6.0
  207. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  208. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China activelyBand Score: 6.0
  209. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  210. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China inBand Score: 6.0
  211. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  212. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To activities amongBand Score: 6.0
  213. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  214. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance byBand Score: 6.0
  215. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  216. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance theBand Score: 6.0
  217. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  218. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance the depthBand Score: 6.0
  219. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  220. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance the depth ofBand Score: 6.0
  221. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  222. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance the depth of supportBand Score: 6.0
  223. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  224. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance the depth of support,Band Score: 6.0
  225. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  226. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance the depth of support, consider divers or subsidizingBand Score: 6.0
  227. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  228. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance the depth of support, consider diversifying memberships, fosteringBand Score: 6.0
  229. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  230. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance the depth of support, consider diversifying the culture that valuesBand Score: 6.0
  231. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  232. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance the depth of support, consider diversifying the sources and productivity simultaneouslyBand Score: 6.0
  233. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  234. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance the depth of support, consider diversifying the sources ofOverall, the essayBand Score: 6.0
  235. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  236. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance the depth of support, consider diversifying the sources of evidence addresses the causesBand Score: 6.0
  237. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  238. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance the depth of support, consider diversifying the sources of evidence. potential solutionsBand Score: 6.0
  239. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  240. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance the depth of support, consider diversifying the sources of evidence. For theBand Score: 6.0
  241. Quoted text: "One major cause is the booming technological development of high-device gadgets such as smartphones, high-speed laptops, and games. In reality, the masses spend their dramatic time living in a virtual space where there is a variety of social platforms that people cannot stand consuming content on social media or other digital platforms."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay identifies technological advancements as a cause for sedentary lifestyles but lacks specificity in explaining how these technologies directly contribute to reduced physical activity. To improve, delve deeper into how the design or addictive nature of these technologies discourages physical movement. For instance, discussing how social media engagement or video games can captivate users, leading to prolonged periods of inactivity, would strengthen the argument’s clarity and relevance to the prompt.
    • Improved example: "The proliferation of high-tech gadgets like smartphones and high-speed laptops has revolutionized daily life. For example, the allure of social platforms and digital content consumption often ensnares individuals, resulting in extended periods of immobility. The captivating nature of these technologies fosters a sedentary lifestyle, diminishing physical activity."
  242. Quoted text: "According to a survey in China in 2020, 70% of young people’s daily activities take advantage of connecting with computers and smartphone screens."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While referencing a survey is beneficial, the essay lacks variety in supporting evidence and generalizes by using a single statistic from a specific region (China in 2020). To enhance the depth of support, consider diversifying the sources of evidence. For instance, of physical anecdotes young old data,., enhance could strengthen argument persuasiveness clearer a of specific ** suggestions couldation various demographics globally showcase a concerning trend: approximately 70% of young individuals prioritize screen time involving computers and smartphones in their daily routines. Furthermore, personal experiences of individuals from diverse backgrounds mirror this inclination toward screen-based activities, reflecting a pervasive issue rather than an isolated phenomenon."
  243. Quoted text: "Last but not least, the principles of corporations are supposed to be extra physical activities for their subordinates in order to motivate alertness and work effectiveness when facing overwork or working overtime."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The suggestion to encourage physical activities in the workplace is commendable. However, the explanation lacks depth in detailing how this directly addresses the issue of sedentary lifestyles among both young and old people. To improve, elaborate on how corporate initiatives promoting physical activity could positively impact the overall lifestyle habits of employees across different age groups. Providing specific examples or feasible strategies could bolster the effectiveness of this proposed solution.
    • Improved example: "Implementing workplace wellness programs aimed at integrating physical activities during office hours holds promise in combatting sedentary behaviors among employees of all age brackets. For instance, scheduled breaks for group exercises, ergonomic workstations encouraging standing, or incentives for fitness challenges could revolutionize the sedentary work culture prevalent across generations."

Overall, the essay demonstrates an awareness of the issue and proposes relevant solutions. To improve, the essay would benefit from more detailed and nuanced explanations linking technological advancements to reduced physical activity and incorporating varied, compelling evidence to support the arguments. Moreover, enhancing the depth of proposed solutions, especially in the workplace, would strengthen the essay’s overall Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a generally coherent structure and progression of ideas. It starts with an introduction that sets the context and outlines the essay’s focus. Ideas are presented in a somewhat organized manner within paragraphs. There’s an attempt to address causes and solutions related to the sedentary lifestyle of both young and old individuals, although the development of these ideas could be more systematic. The essay’s conclusion effectively summarizes the discussed points.

However, the coherence between sentences and within paragraphs could be improved. While there’s an attempt to use cohesive devices, their effectiveness is inconsistent. Some sentences lack clear connections, making the flow less smooth. Paragraphs, though present, could benefit from more logical structuring to enhance the overall coherence.

How to improve:

  1. Structural Organization: Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas within paragraphs and throughout the essay. Use topic sentences to guide each paragraph’s focus.
  2. Cohesive Devices: Strengthen the use of transitional phrases and cohesive devices to create smoother connections between sentences and ideas.
  3. Paragraphing Logic: Review and refine paragraph structure for better coherence and organization of thoughts.

Enhancing these aspects will elevate the essay’s coherence and cohesion to better align with higher band descriptors.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficiently wide range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in expressing ideas. There is an attempt to use less common lexical items, and some awareness of style and collocation is evident. While occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation are present, they do not significantly impede communication. The essay effectively discusses the causes and proposes solutions, showcasing a good understanding of the topic and conveying ideas with clarity.

How to improve:
To improve the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on consistently using a wider variety of vocabulary, incorporating more sophisticated and nuanced language. Attention to precision in word choice and collocation is essential. Additionally, careful proofreading to eliminate occasional errors in spelling and word formation would enhance the overall lexical quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar and punctuation, producing frequent error-free sentences. There is a variety of complex structures used, showcasing a range of sentence forms. However, some errors are present, such as "the masses spend their dramatic time" and "consuming content on social media or other digital platforms," which may slightly impact communication.

How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay closer attention to sentence structure and word choice. Ensure that expressions are clear and precise to avoid any potential misunderstandings. Proofreading for minor errors will further elevate the overall grammatical range and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent decades, both the youth and the elderly have increasingly embraced a sedentary lifestyle, adversely affecting their health and overall well-being. This essay will delve into the primary causes of this issue and propose potential solutions.

One major cause is the rapid technological advancement, particularly the proliferation of high-tech devices like smartphones, high-speed laptops, and video games. In reality, a significant portion of the population spends considerable time in a virtual space, engrossed in various social platforms. The allure of consuming content on social media and other digital platforms is undeniable. A 2020 survey in China revealed that 70% of young people’s daily activities involve interacting with computers and smartphone screens. Moreover, the prevalence of automatic vehicles in the modern era caters to the demand for comfort and swift commutes, leading people to prefer cars or other motorized vehicles over walking or cycling. This prolonged sedentary lifestyle contributes to chronic health conditions such as obesity and cardiovascular issues, ultimately jeopardizing human existence by reducing lifespans.

To address this concerning trend, several practical approaches can be proposed. Firstly, governments should initiate awareness campaigns highlighting the benefits of an active lifestyle. Educating the public on the positive impact of physical activity not only enhances individual lifestyles but also contributes to the overall health and well-being of populations in both developing and developed countries. Lastly, corporations should incorporate physical activities into their principles, encouraging employees to adopt a more active lifestyle. For instance, companies like M&M have successfully implemented wellness programs, including physical activities, resulting in heightened employee satisfaction due to the foreseeable health benefits.

In conclusion, the insufficient physical activity among both young and elderly individuals stems from technological influences and a preference for comfort and convenience. However, by fostering awareness and offering incentives and support for exercise, we can effectively combat this issue and promote a healthier, more active society.

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