Transport delays and long journeys are a widespread phenomenon in many countries today. What are the causes of this problem, and how could the situation be improved?

In today’s world, traffic jams are a big challenge which is hard to tackle in all of countries in the world. There are some reasons for the transport delay and this essay will elicit some of potential ones and several solutions to address.
Perhaps the major factor here is that cars are the main cause of bottlenecks. It can be seen that people nowadays tend to use private transport to commute, leading to an increase in car on the road in the city which became narrow so that anyone who easily got held up in heavy traffic. Especially, at the peak hour, those who come back home after school or get off work have some people use their own car. The road overcrowding hinders other vehicles from moving. This is because when people driving fast to extent that just using their brake can easily bring about accidents due to uncontrolled speed limits, it is no question that handling this requires pre-attention in the given time noticed, just the same as the case of them seeing road signs ahead beforehand, and once accidents occur, a smooth travel for other commutes will not ensured.
The origins of this situation seen to stem from two facts, while several remedies appear to be open to us. To begin with the fact that is stem from everyone’s travel need, so to handle this problem the government should encourage people who use public transport and eco-friendly options such as bike or buses, which will lead to a decline in congestion on the road and make travel handy. Furthermore, government policy might be to increase tax on private vehicle, if the administrator were to perform policy, this would affect the income many people using a car for commuting would become less popular than now, moreover, the reduction of used cars can help the environment improve quality.
In conclusion, using private vehicles and change this situation is a major challenge with many countries so that various method have been trialed ease traffic flow in megacities and in near future this problem might be decline sharp than now

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"big challenge which is hard to tackle" -> "significant challenge that is difficult to address"
Explanation: "Significant challenge" is more precise and formal than "big challenge," and "difficult to address" is a more academically appropriate phrase than "hard to tackle."
"all of countries in the world" -> "all countries worldwide"
Explanation: "All countries worldwide" is a more concise and formal expression, avoiding the redundancy of "in the world."
"elicit some of potential ones" -> "identify several potential causes"
Explanation: "Elicit" is not typically used in this context; "identify" is more accurate and formal. "Several" is preferred over "some of" for a more precise quantification.
"cars are the main cause of bottlenecks" -> "private vehicles are the primary cause of congestion"
Explanation: "Private vehicles" is a more specific term than "cars," and "congestion" is a more precise term than "bottlenecks" in this context.
"It can be seen that people nowadays tend to use" -> "It is evident that contemporary individuals increasingly opt for"
Explanation: "It is evident that" is more formal than "It can be seen that," and "contemporary individuals increasingly opt for" is more precise and formal than "people nowadays tend to use."
"on the road in the city which became narrow" -> "on the city’s roads, which have become congested"
Explanation: "On the city’s roads, which have become congested" is more accurate and formal, avoiding the awkward construction of "which became narrow."
"anyone who easily got held up" -> "anyone who is easily delayed"
Explanation: "Is easily delayed" is grammatically correct and more formal than "got held up," which is colloquial.
"those who come back home after school or get off work have some people use their own car" -> "those returning from school or work often use their personal vehicles"
Explanation: "Returning from school or work often use their personal vehicles" is clearer and more formal than the original phrase.
"it is no question that handling this requires pre-attention in the given time noticed" -> "it is evident that addressing this necessitates proactive measures in the given timeframe"
Explanation: "It is evident that addressing this necessitates proactive measures in the given timeframe" is more precise and formal, replacing the awkward and unclear original phrase.
"just the same as the case of them seeing road signs ahead beforehand" -> "similarly, drivers should anticipate road signs ahead"
Explanation: "Similarly, drivers should anticipate road signs ahead" is clearer and more direct than the convoluted original phrase.
"a smooth travel for other commutes will not ensured" -> "smooth travel for other commuters will not be ensured"
Explanation: "Will not be ensured" corrects the grammatical error and improves the formality of the sentence.
"The origins of this situation seen to stem from two facts" -> "The causes of this situation appear to stem from two factors"
Explanation: "The causes of this situation appear to stem from two factors" is more precise and formal than "The origins of this situation seen to stem from two facts."
"government should encourage people who use public transport and eco-friendly options" -> "the government should promote public transportation and eco-friendly alternatives"
Explanation: "Promote public transportation and eco-friendly alternatives" is more formal and precise than "encourage people who use public transport and eco-friendly options."
"make travel handy" -> "facilitate travel"
Explanation: "Facilitate travel" is a more formal and precise term than "make travel handy," which is colloquial.
"government policy might be to increase tax on private vehicle" -> "government policy could involve increasing taxes on private vehicles"
Explanation: "Could involve increasing taxes on private vehicles" is more formal and corrects the grammatical error in the original phrase.
"if the administrator were to perform policy" -> "if the administration implemented such a policy"
Explanation: "If the administration implemented such a policy" is grammatically correct and more formal than "if the administrator were to perform policy."
"this would affect the income many people using a car for commuting would become less popular than now" -> "this would reduce the popularity of private vehicles among commuters"
Explanation: "This would reduce the popularity of private vehicles among commuters" is clearer and more formal than the original phrase.
"the reduction of used cars can help the environment improve quality" -> "the reduction in the number of used cars can improve environmental quality"
Explanation: "The reduction in the number of used cars can improve environmental quality" is grammatically correct and more precise than the original

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by identifying causes of transport delays, such as the reliance on private vehicles and traffic congestion, and suggests solutions like promoting public transport and increasing taxes on private vehicles. However, the analysis of causes could be more comprehensive. For example, while the essay mentions "bottlenecks" and "road overcrowding," it does not explore other potential causes such as urban planning issues or population growth, which are significant factors in transport delays.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that all aspects of the question are thoroughly addressed. This could involve providing a more detailed exploration of various causes, including urban infrastructure and population density, and discussing additional solutions, such as improving public transport infrastructure or implementing carpooling initiatives.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that transport delays are a significant issue and that solutions exist. However, the clarity of the position is somewhat undermined by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, which can confuse the reader. For instance, phrases like "this situation might be decline sharp than now" detract from the overall clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should focus on using straightforward language and clear sentence structures. Additionally, reinforcing the thesis statement in the conclusion can help to remind the reader of the main argument and the proposed solutions.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the causes and solutions to transport delays. However, the support for these ideas is often vague and lacks depth. For example, while the essay mentions that increasing taxes on private vehicles could reduce congestion, it does not provide evidence or examples to substantiate this claim. The ideas are presented but not sufficiently extended or supported with relevant details or examples.
- How to improve: To strengthen the development of ideas, the writer should include specific examples or data to support claims. For instance, citing statistics on public transport usage or referencing successful case studies from cities that have implemented similar policies would enhance the argument’s credibility.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing transport delays and their causes and solutions. However, some sentences veer off into convoluted explanations that dilute the focus. For example, the discussion about accidents due to speed limits, while related, could be more directly tied back to the main topic of transport delays.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the central theme of transport delays. This can be achieved by regularly linking back to the main question in each paragraph and avoiding tangential discussions that do not contribute to the overall argument.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, it can be improved by providing a more comprehensive analysis of causes, maintaining clarity in the position, extending and supporting ideas with concrete examples, and ensuring strict adherence to the topic throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression of ideas could be improved. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the causes of traffic jams but does not clearly transition into the second paragraph, which introduces solutions. The connection between the causes and the proposed solutions is somewhat tenuous, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clear topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, transitional phrases such as "In addition," "Furthermore," or "As a result" can help connect ideas more smoothly. For example, after discussing the causes of traffic delays, a sentence like "To address these issues, several solutions can be implemented" would create a clearer link to the next paragraph.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their effectiveness is limited by the lack of clear separation of ideas. The first body paragraph combines multiple ideas about causes without distinct separation, making it difficult to identify the main points. The second body paragraph also mixes solutions without clearly delineating them, which can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. For instance, the first body paragraph could be split into two: one focusing solely on the causes of traffic jams and another dedicated to discussing the solutions. This would not only improve clarity but also allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "especially" and "this is because," but their usage is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety. The transitions between sentences and ideas can feel abrupt, which disrupts the overall flow. For example, the phrase "the origins of this situation seen to stem from two facts" is vague and does not effectively introduce the subsequent points.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Moreover," "Consequently," and "In contrast" to create more nuanced connections between ideas. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately; for example, clarify what "two facts" refers to before introducing them to avoid confusion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, enhancing the logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will significantly improve coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, such as "traffic jams," "bottlenecks," and "overcrowding." However, there are instances where the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive or lacks variety, such as the repeated use of "cars" and "private transport." Phrases like "hard to tackle" and "big challenge" are somewhat informal and could be replaced with more sophisticated synonyms.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should explore synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "cars," alternatives like "automobiles," "vehicles," or "private vehicles" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases like "significant challenge" or "daunting issue" can elevate the tone of the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "just the same as the case of them seeing road signs ahead beforehand" is convoluted and unclear. The phrase "to extent that just using their brake can easily bring about accidents" is also vague and awkwardly constructed, leading to confusion about the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and conciseness. For example, instead of saying "to extent that just using their brake," a clearer expression could be "to the extent that sudden braking can lead to accidents." Simplifying complex phrases and ensuring that each word contributes meaningfully to the sentence will enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "in all of countries" (should be "in all countries"), "the transport delay" (should be "transport delays"), and "method have been trialed ease traffic flow" (should be "methods have been trialed to ease traffic flow"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or tools that highlight errors. Additionally, proofreading the essay multiple times or reading it aloud can help catch mistakes. Familiarizing oneself with common spelling rules and exceptions can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary, ensuring clarity in expression, and focusing on spelling, the writer can enhance their overall score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt at using varied sentence structures, but it largely relies on simple and compound sentences. For instance, phrases like "There are some reasons for the transport delay" and "the government should encourage people who use public transport" reflect a basic sentence construction. The use of complex sentences is limited, which restricts the overall grammatical range. Additionally, some sentences are overly lengthy and convoluted, such as "This is because when people driving fast to extent that just using their brake can easily bring about accidents due to uncontrolled speed limits," which affects clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences by using subordinate clauses (e.g., "Although traffic jams are prevalent, there are several solutions that can be implemented"). Practicing the use of varied conjunctions and transitions can also help in forming more sophisticated sentence structures. Reading more complex texts and analyzing their sentence constructions can provide useful insights.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "in all of countries in the world" should be "in all countries of the world." Additionally, the phrase "leading to an increase in car on the road in the city which became narrow" contains subject-verb agreement issues and awkward phrasing. Punctuation errors, such as missing commas, can also be found, particularly in complex sentences where clauses are not properly separated (e.g., "when people driving fast to extent that just using their brake can easily bring about accidents" lacks clarity and proper punctuation).
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, proper use of articles, and ensuring that sentences are clearly structured. Regular grammar exercises and proofreading for common errors can be beneficial. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, especially with complex sentences, can help in making the writing clearer and more professional. Utilizing grammar-checking tools may also assist in identifying and correcting errors before submission.

Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant ideas, enhancing grammatical range and accuracy will significantly improve the score. Regular practice and revision are key to achieving this.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s world, traffic jams represent a significant challenge that is difficult to address in all countries worldwide. There are several reasons for transport delays, and this essay will identify several potential causes as well as propose solutions to improve the situation.

Perhaps the major factor contributing to this issue is that private vehicles are the primary cause of congestion. It is evident that contemporary individuals increasingly opt for private transport to commute, leading to an increase in the number of cars on the city’s roads, which have become congested. Particularly during peak hours, those returning from school or work often use their personal vehicles, resulting in road overcrowding that hinders the movement of other vehicles. When drivers speed to the extent that they rely solely on their brakes, this can easily lead to accidents due to uncontrolled speed limits. It is clear that addressing this necessitates proactive measures in the given timeframe, similar to the need for drivers to anticipate road signs ahead. Once accidents occur, smooth travel for other commuters will not be ensured.

The causes of this situation appear to stem from two factors, while several remedies seem to be available. To begin with, the issue arises from everyone’s travel needs. To tackle this problem, the government should promote public transportation and eco-friendly alternatives such as bicycles or buses, which will lead to a decline in congestion on the roads and facilitate travel. Furthermore, government policy could involve increasing taxes on private vehicles. If the administration implemented such a policy, it would likely reduce the popularity of private vehicles among commuters. Moreover, the reduction in the number of used cars can improve environmental quality.

In conclusion, the reliance on private vehicles and the need to change this situation present a significant challenge for many countries. Various methods have been trialed to ease traffic flow in megacities, and in the near future, this problem might decline more sharply than it is now.