underground traffic

Hi everyone, I’m …. from group …. Today, I'm so happy when standing here to talk about the underground traffic . Nowadays,due to overpopulation, big cities in Vietnam must face problems related to traffic, therefore , underground traffic is more and more developed . For people to better understand this topic , now we come to the first part….

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Hi everyone, I’m…. from group …." -> "Good afternoon, I am pleased to represent Group …."
Explanation: "Good afternoon" is a more formal greeting suitable for an academic setting, and "I am pleased to represent" is more precise and formal than "I’m so happy when standing here."
"Today, I’m so happy when standing here to talk about the underground traffic." -> "I am delighted to discuss the topic of underground traffic today."
Explanation: "I am delighted" is more formal than "I’m so happy," and removing "when standing here" simplifies the sentence structure while maintaining clarity and formality.
"Nowadays,due to overpopulation, big cities in Vietnam must face problems related to traffic, therefore, underground traffic is more and more developed." -> "Currently, due to overpopulation, major cities in Vietnam are facing significant traffic-related issues, which has led to the increased development of underground traffic."
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal temporal indicator than "Nowadays." "Major cities" is more precise than "big cities," and "are facing significant traffic-related issues" is more specific and formal than "must face problems." The phrase "which has led to the increased development" clarifies the causal relationship more effectively than "therefore."
"For people to better understand this topic, now we come to the first part…." -> "To facilitate a deeper understanding of this topic, we will now proceed to the first part…."
Explanation: "To facilitate a deeper understanding" is more formal and precise than "For people to better understand." "We will now proceed" is a clearer and more formal way to introduce the next section than "now we come to."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay begins by introducing the topic of underground traffic and its relevance to overpopulation in big cities in Vietnam. However, it lacks depth in addressing the various aspects of the prompt. The introduction suggests a discussion about underground traffic but does not provide specific points or arguments that would typically be expected in an IELTS Task 2 essay. For example, it does not explore the advantages, disadvantages, or implications of developing underground traffic systems.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay should include a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points to be discussed. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of underground traffic, such as its benefits (e.g., reducing congestion), challenges (e.g., construction costs), and potential solutions.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay does not present a clear position on the topic of underground traffic. While it mentions the development of underground traffic in response to overpopulation, it does not articulate a definitive stance or argument that is maintained throughout the essay. The introductory tone is informal and lacks the assertiveness expected in an academic essay.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and reinforce it in each paragraph. Using transitional phrases can help in linking ideas and ensuring that the reader understands the writer’s perspective.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay fails to adequately present, extend, or support ideas. The initial statement about underground traffic is vague and lacks elaboration. There are no examples, statistics, or references to studies that could support the claims made. The essay does not develop any arguments or provide evidence to substantiate the points being made.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should include specific examples and evidence related to underground traffic. This could involve discussing successful underground systems in other cities, citing studies on traffic congestion, or referencing expert opinions. Each idea should be clearly linked to the overall argument and expanded upon in subsequent sentences.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay begins to address the topic of underground traffic but quickly veers into a general discussion about traffic problems in big cities without maintaining a focused narrative. The introduction suggests a structured approach ("now we come to the first part…") but does not follow through with a coherent discussion.
- How to improve: To stay on topic, the writer should outline the main points in the introduction and ensure that each paragraph directly relates to those points. Avoiding tangents and maintaining a clear focus on underground traffic will help keep the essay relevant and coherent.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic but lacks the necessary depth, clarity, and structure expected for a higher band score. By addressing the points outlined above, the writer can improve their Task Response significantly.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay begins with a clear introduction that sets the context of the discussion on underground traffic. However, the logical flow is somewhat hindered by abrupt transitions between ideas. For instance, the mention of overpopulation leading to traffic issues is relevant but lacks a smooth connection to the introduction of underground traffic solutions. This disjointedness can confuse readers about the relationship between the points being made.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using a clear outline before writing. Start with a thesis statement that encapsulates the main argument, followed by structured paragraphs that each focus on a single idea. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through the argument. For example, after discussing overpopulation, explicitly link it to how underground traffic can alleviate these issues.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which makes it difficult to distinguish between different points. The introduction blends into the main argument without a clear division, leading to a stream of ideas that can overwhelm the reader. Effective paragraphing is crucial for clarity and helps in presenting arguments systematically.
- How to improve: Implement distinct paragraphs for each major point. For instance, create a separate paragraph for the introduction, another for discussing the problems caused by overpopulation, and a third for the benefits of underground traffic. Each paragraph should ideally contain a topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices, which affects the overall flow of ideas. Phrases like "nowadays" and "therefore" are used, but there is a lack of variety in linking words and phrases that could enhance the connection between sentences and ideas. This results in a somewhat mechanical reading experience.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words such as "in addition," "however," "for instance," and "consequently." This will not only improve the flow but also clarify the relationships between different points. For example, when transitioning from discussing traffic problems to solutions, use phrases like "One potential solution is…" to create a smoother transition.

By addressing these areas, the essay can significantly improve its coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary related to the topic of underground traffic. Phrases like "overpopulation," "big cities," and "traffic problems" indicate an understanding of relevant terms. However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited and lacks variety. For instance, the phrase "more and more developed" is repetitive and could be expressed with more sophisticated alternatives such as "increasingly advanced" or "growing in sophistication."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeating "traffic," consider using "congestion," "transportation," or "mobility." Engaging with a thesaurus or reading more academic texts on urban planning could help broaden vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary choices. The phrase "underground traffic" could be misleading; it might be more accurate to refer to "underground transportation systems" or "subway systems." Additionally, the phrase "must face problems" is vague and could be replaced with more specific language, such as "are confronted with challenges."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using terminology that accurately reflects the subject matter. For example, instead of "big cities," consider using "metropolitan areas" or "urban centers." Practicing the use of more specific terms in context will enhance clarity and precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "underground traffic" (which should be "underground traffic" without the space before the period) and "nowadays,due" (which should have a space after the comma). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify mistakes. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or flashcards can reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of the topic, there is significant room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By actively working on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. For instance, the predominant use of simple sentences like "I’m …. from group …." and "Today, I’m so happy when standing here to talk about the underground traffic." indicates a reliance on basic constructions. While there are some compound sentences, such as "Nowadays, due to overpopulation, big cities in Vietnam must face problems related to traffic," the overall variety is insufficient for a higher band score. The essay lacks complex sentences that could enhance the depth of the argument and showcase a greater grammatical range.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "Today, I’m so happy when standing here," you could say, "Today, I am delighted to stand here and discuss the pressing issue of underground traffic." Additionally, using a mix of declarative, interrogative, and conditional sentences can add variety and engage the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, the phrase "underground traffic is more and more developed" could be improved for clarity and accuracy; a more appropriate expression might be "the development of underground traffic is increasing." Furthermore, there are punctuation errors, such as the incorrect spacing before commas and the lack of a comma after introductory phrases (e.g., "Nowadays, due to overpopulation"). The use of "therefore" is also somewhat awkwardly placed and could benefit from clearer integration into the sentence structure.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is crucial to proofread the essay for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and correct punctuation usage. Practicing sentence combining exercises can also help in forming more complex sentences. Additionally, familiarize yourself with the rules of punctuation, particularly regarding the use of commas in introductory phrases and lists. Consider revising sentences for clarity and coherence, ensuring that each idea flows logically into the next.

By focusing on these areas for improvement, you can work towards achieving a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy for your IELTS Task 2 essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

Good afternoon, I am delighted to discuss the topic of underground traffic today. Currently, due to overpopulation, major cities in Vietnam are facing significant traffic-related issues, which has led to the increased development of underground traffic. To facilitate a deeper understanding of this topic, we will now proceed to the first part….