fbpx

University students should pay the full cost of their studies because a university education benefits individuals rather than society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

University students should pay the full cost of their studies because a university education benefits individuals rather than society as a whole.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many proponents argue that university students should bear the full cost of their studies, asserting that the benefits primarily accrue to individuals rather than society. While advocates of this idea contend that students reap more significant benefits than society, I firmly contend that it confers advantages upon both individuals and the community. Consequently, universities should continue granting scholarships and providing financial assistance to their students.

Indeed, university education confers advantages upon both the community and individuals. Medical universities, for instance, could award scholarships to meritorious candidates facing financial challenges, thereby enabling individuals from lower-income backgrounds to access higher education. After graduation, those who received financial support can become highly qualified medical professionals, potentially saving numerous lives. This principle also applies to other professions, including law enforcement, electricians, and machine operators.

By instituting sponsorships for deserving and intellectually gifted individuals, society can also reap many significant benefits. If students are obliged to cover their educational expenses, many intellectually capable individuals from financially disadvantaged backgrounds might decline the opportunity to pursue higher education. Consequently, they may not qualify for positions requiring a minimum degree. Many positions in the Central Government, for instance, necessitate a bachelor's degree. As a consequence, the employment rate will decrease, imposing a burden on society.

In conclusion, individuals derive benefits from university education, and the community also gains. It is essential to create more sponsorships for potential students facing financial hardships, as they can become professional employees contributing to the prosperity of society.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Many proponents argue that university students should bear the full cost of their studies, asserting that the benefits primarily accrue to individuals rather than society."
    -> "Numerous advocates argue that university students should bear the full financial burden of their studies, asserting that the benefits primarily accrue to individuals rather than society."
    Explanation: Replacing "Many proponents" with "Numerous advocates" and "cost" with "financial burden" adds formality and specificity to the language, aligning it more closely with academic style.

  2. "While advocates of this idea contend that students reap more significant benefits than society, I firmly contend that it confers advantages upon both individuals and the community."
    -> "While proponents of this perspective argue that students garner more substantial benefits than society, I strongly argue that it confers advantages upon both individuals and the community."
    Explanation: Replacing "advocates" with "proponents," "contend" with "argue," and "firmly contend" with "strongly argue" enhances the precision and formality of the expression.

  3. "Consequently, universities should continue granting scholarships and providing financial assistance to their students."
    -> "Therefore, universities should persist in awarding scholarships and offering financial assistance to their students."
    Explanation: Substituting "consequently" with "therefore" and "granting" with "persist in awarding" contributes to a more formal and academically appropriate tone.

  4. "Indeed, university education confers advantages upon both the community and individuals."
    -> "Indeed, higher education imparts benefits to both the community and individuals."
    Explanation: Substituting "university education" with "higher education" maintains clarity while using a more encompassing term, and "confers advantages upon" is replaced with "imparts benefits to" for a more refined expression.

  5. "Medical universities, for instance, could award scholarships to meritorious candidates facing financial challenges, thereby enabling individuals from lower-income backgrounds to access higher education."
    -> "Medical universities, for instance, could grant scholarships to meritorious candidates facing financial challenges, thereby facilitating access to higher education for individuals from lower-income backgrounds."
    Explanation: Replacing "award" with "grant" and restructuring the sentence for clarity and precision.

  6. "By instituting sponsorships for deserving and intellectually gifted individuals, society can also reap many significant benefits."
    -> "By establishing sponsorships for deserving and intellectually gifted individuals, society can also derive numerous significant benefits."
    Explanation: Replacing "instituting" with "establishing" and refining the expression for a more formal tone.

  7. "If students are obliged to cover their educational expenses, many intellectually capable individuals from financially disadvantaged backgrounds might decline the opportunity to pursue higher education."
    -> "If students are required to bear their educational expenses, many intellectually capable individuals from financially disadvantaged backgrounds might forego the opportunity to pursue higher education."
    Explanation: Substituting "obliged to cover" with "required to bear" and restructuring the sentence for improved formality and precision.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It acknowledges the viewpoint that students should pay the full cost of their studies, and the response includes a clear stance. Relevant sections from the essay demonstrate a comprehensive approach to the prompt.

    The essay acknowledges the idea that students should bear the full cost of their studies and promptly counters it by stating, "I firmly contend that it confers advantages upon both individuals and the community." This demonstrates a clear recognition of the prompt’s nuances.

    • How to improve: No significant improvement needed in this aspect. The essay provides a well-rounded response to the prompt.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout. The stance that university education benefits both individuals and society is evident from the introduction to the conclusion. Specific examples and illustrations reinforce this position, contributing to a well-supported argument.

    For example, the essay asserts, "Indeed, university education confers advantages upon both the community and individuals," and consistently reinforces this stance throughout the essay.

    • How to improve: The essay excels in maintaining a clear position. However, to enhance clarity further, consider reinforcing the main thesis in each body paragraph to ensure a constant reminder of the overarching position.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. It provides examples, such as scholarships for medical candidates, law enforcement, and other professions, to illustrate the benefits to both individuals and society. The examples are relevant and well-elaborated, contributing to a persuasive argument.

    An instance of effective support is found in the statement: "After graduation, those who received financial support can become highly qualified medical professionals, potentially saving numerous lives." This extends the initial idea and supports the overall argument.

    • How to improve: While the support is generally strong, adding more specific details or statistics could further strengthen the essay. Providing concrete data on the success of individuals who received financial assistance could enhance the persuasiveness.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay stays on topic and maintains a clear connection to the prompt. There are no significant deviations from the central theme of whether university students should pay the full cost of their studies and the associated benefits to individuals and society.

    Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, discussing the advantages to both individuals and society, reinforcing the relevance to the given topic.

    • How to improve: No specific improvements needed in this aspect. The essay successfully adheres to the topic and sustains a coherent discussion throughout.

In summary, the essay performs exceptionally well in addressing the criteria for Task Response. It effectively analyzes the prompt, maintains a clear position, supports ideas with relevant examples, and stays focused on the topic. Minor enhancements, such as reinforcing the main thesis in each body paragraph and incorporating specific data for added support, could elevate the essay even further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction sets the stage by presenting the issue and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs follow a coherent sequence, discussing the benefits of university education for individuals and society. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer’s position.
    • How to improve: While the logical flow is solid, consider strengthening the transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through the essay’s structure more explicitly.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs effective paragraphing, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction introduces the topic, and subsequent paragraphs delve into the benefits of university education for individuals and society. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and the progression is easy to follow.
    • How to improve: To further improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph maintains unity and coherence. Check that every paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that directly relate to that main idea. Consider using transitions between paragraphs to create a smoother flow.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses a variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to connect ideas within and between sentences. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. Examples include "while," "consequently," and "in conclusion."
    • How to improve: Continue utilizing cohesive devices effectively, but be cautious not to overuse certain terms. Additionally, explore a wider array of cohesive devices to add variety and nuance to the essay’s structure. This can include synonyms for common transition words and the strategic use of pronouns for smoother connections.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a commendable level of coherence and cohesion. Strengthening the transitions between paragraphs and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to an even more polished and sophisticated essay structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of vocabulary, with the use of terms such as "proponents," "accrue," "meritorious," and "sponsorships." The vocabulary is generally precise and contributes to the overall clarity and sophistication of the essay.
    • How to improve: While the essay displays a wide range of vocabulary, there is room for incorporating more advanced or nuanced terms. Consider exploring synonyms or alternative expressions for commonly used words to further enhance the lexical variety.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, conveying ideas clearly. For instance, the distinction between "individuals" and "society" is articulated effectively, and terms like "financial challenges" and "intellectually gifted" are well-placed.
    • How to improve: To elevate precision further, consider refining the use of certain terms. For instance, instead of "financial challenges," specific financial hardships or obstacles could be identified. Additionally, strive for precision in conveying the nuanced differences between concepts.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors affecting comprehension. Proper spelling enhances the overall professionalism and readability of the essay.
    • How to improve: Maintain the current standard of spelling accuracy by proofreading carefully. Consider utilizing spelling and grammar check tools, and allocate sufficient time for revision to catch any potential errors that might have been overlooked.

In conclusion, the essay demonstrates strong lexical resource skills, contributing to its overall coherence and persuasiveness. To enhance further, focus on refining precision and exploring even more varied vocabulary. Spelling accuracy is excellent, and maintaining this standard will continue to uphold the essay’s professionalism.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably diverse range of sentence structures. There is a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences, contributing to a coherent and well-structured essay. However, there is room for improvement in the use of more complex sentence structures. For instance, there is a tendency to rely on relatively straightforward sentence constructions, which might slightly limit the overall grammatical range.

    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures. This can be achieved by using a variety of sentence types, such as compound-complex sentences and sentences with embedded clauses. Introduce a wider range of sentence beginnings, varying between subject-verb, verb-opening, and introductory phrases, to add complexity and variety to the writing.

  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are some instances where minor grammatical errors or awkward phrasing occur. For example, in the sentence "While advocates of this idea contend that students reap more significant benefits than society," the use of "than society" might be considered awkward, and a more precise comparison could be made.

    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully review sentences for clarity and precision. In the mentioned example, consider rephrasing to eliminate ambiguity, perhaps by specifying the nature of benefits (economic, social, etc.) or by providing more context. Additionally, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and the proper use of articles.

Overall, while the essay exhibits strong language proficiency, incorporating a more extensive variety of sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will contribute to achieving an even higher band score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Numerous advocates argue that university students should bear the full financial burden of their studies, asserting that the benefits primarily accrue to individuals rather than society. While proponents of this perspective argue that students garner more substantial benefits than society, I strongly argue that it confers advantages upon both individuals and the community. Therefore, universities should persist in awarding scholarships and offering financial assistance to their students.

Indeed, higher education imparts benefits to both the community and individuals. Medical universities, for instance, could grant scholarships to meritorious candidates facing financial challenges, thereby facilitating access to higher education for individuals from lower-income backgrounds. By establishing sponsorships for deserving and intellectually gifted individuals, society can also derive numerous significant benefits. If students are required to bear their educational expenses, many intellectually capable individuals from financially disadvantaged backgrounds might forego the opportunity to pursue higher education.

In conclusion, individuals derive benefits from university education, and the community also gains. It is essential to create more sponsorships for potential students facing financial hardships, as they can become professional employees contributing to the prosperity of society.

Bài viết liên quan

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K

119K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K

149K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

VIP

499K

299K/th

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K

159K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K

199K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

VIP

499K

399K/th

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

VIP

499K/th

  • Everthing in Premium

  • Hand Writing Image Recognition

  • Better Accuracy with GPT-4

  • Early Access to New features

    - Speaking Feedback

  • Customization

    We help with minor customizations to get it working just right.

  • Support Development of New Features

    • Speaking Practice
    • Classroom Management (e.g., Google Class Room)
    • Reading Practice
    • Listening Practice