University students should pay the full cost of their studies because a university education benefits individuals rather than society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The debate over whether that students who are studying universities ought to finish their tuitions as educational standards bring about more advantages for students, compared to social experiences. From my perspective, both positions are crucial for individuals ‘welfare.
On the one hand, the university play an essential role in training profound majors for students. This is because the educational quality of universities is upgraded and changed gradually tailored to students ‘needs. Many modern infrastructures are installed and implemented for each demand of majors such as chemical lab or library. Moreover, studying programs are frequently updated to keep up with studying fields, and they are also crucial aspects of developing specialized skills. For example, in some technology universities, pupils have some deeper chemistry comprehensions as they are accessible to mix chemicals and see reactions. As a result, the university assist sharpens student’s skills and theoretical ability.
On the other hand, students also get a holistic development from the society. They should be equipped with social skills and personality traits before graduating to commence a job. In some dynamic works, students can grow them professionally from competitive benefits and opportunities for advancement. Furthermore, they can get more valuable chances for traveling to other regions to exchange cultural knowledge, which foster interpersonal skill and negotiation skill. For instance, in some businesses, marketing workers are usually assigned to travel other regions to stay informed and promote their campaigns. Consequently, they not only accumulate knowledge hands-on experienced, but also exploring other fascinating countries.
In conclusion, although pupils are reminded to pay their school fees regularly semesters for the best educational resources from their university, they ought to be encouraged to accumulate horizon from society to have a holistic development.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"that students who are studying universities" -> "students studying at universities"
Explanation: The phrase "that students who are studying universities" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Students studying at universities" is grammatically correct and more natural in academic writing.
"ought to finish their tuitions" -> "should complete their tuition fees"
Explanation: "Tuition" is typically used as a singular noun, and "tuitions" is incorrect. "Should complete their tuition fees" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"educational standards bring about more advantages" -> "educational standards offer more benefits"
Explanation: "Bring about" is somewhat informal and vague; "offer" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing.
"both positions are crucial for individuals ‘welfare" -> "both perspectives are essential for individual welfare"
Explanation: "Positions" is vague and informal; "perspectives" is more specific and formal. Also, "individuals’ welfare" should be "individual welfare" for grammatical correctness.
"the university play" -> "the university plays"
Explanation: "Play" should be in the singular form "plays" when referring to the university as a single entity.
"training profound majors" -> "offering in-depth majors"
Explanation: "Training profound majors" is unclear and incorrect. "Offering in-depth majors" is more precise and appropriate for academic contexts.
"tailored to students ‘needs" -> "tailored to students’ needs"
Explanation: The apostrophe is missing in "students’ needs," which is a possessive form.
"Many modern infrastructures are installed and implemented for each demand of majors" -> "Many modern infrastructures are installed and implemented to meet the specific needs of each major"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and unclear. The revised version clarifies the purpose of the infrastructures and improves readability.
"studying programs" -> "study programs"
Explanation: "Studying programs" is grammatically incorrect; "study programs" is the correct term.
"pupils have some deeper chemistry comprehensions" -> "students gain deeper understanding of chemistry"
Explanation: "Pupils" is less formal and typically used for younger students; "students" is more appropriate for university students. "Comprehensions" is not a standard term; "understanding" is the correct word.
"the university assist sharpens student’s skills" -> "the university helps sharpen students’ skills"
Explanation: "Assist sharpens" is grammatically incorrect; "helps sharpen" is correct. Also, "student’s" should be "students’" for plural agreement.
"students also get a holistic development from the society" -> "students also undergo holistic development through societal experiences"
Explanation: "Get a holistic development from the society" is awkward and unclear. "Undergo holistic development through societal experiences" is more precise and formal.
"they can grow them professionally" -> "they can develop professionally"
Explanation: "Grow them professionally" is incorrect; "develop professionally" is the correct phrase.
"competitive benefits and opportunities for advancement" -> "competitive benefits and opportunities for career advancement"
Explanation: Adding "career" clarifies the type of advancement being referred to, enhancing the precision of the statement.
"they can get more valuable chances for traveling" -> "they can gain more valuable opportunities for travel"
Explanation: "Get more valuable chances for traveling" is informal and awkward; "gain more valuable opportunities for travel" is more formal and appropriate.
"accumulate horizon from society" -> "gain insights from societal experiences"
Explanation: "Accumulate horizon" is incorrect and unclear; "gain insights" is a more precise and academically appropriate phrase.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits of university education to individuals and the importance of social experiences. However, it does not clearly state whether the author agrees or disagrees with the idea that students should pay the full cost of their studies. The introduction is somewhat convoluted and does not directly answer the question, which leads to confusion about the author’s position. The conclusion also fails to clearly articulate a stance on the issue.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should explicitly state the author’s position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. A clear thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt would help guide the reader and clarify the author’s viewpoint. For example, stating "I believe that students should pay the full cost of their studies because…" would provide a clear direction.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a consistent position throughout. While it mentions the importance of both educational and social experiences, it does not maintain a clear argument supporting one side over the other. Phrases like "both positions are crucial" suggest neutrality rather than a definitive stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author should choose a side and consistently support that viewpoint with relevant arguments and examples. Each paragraph should relate back to the main argument, reinforcing the chosen stance. For instance, if the author agrees with the prompt, they should focus on how the benefits of education justify the costs.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the benefits of university education and social experiences. However, the development of these ideas is often vague and lacks depth. For example, the discussion about the importance of social skills is introduced but not sufficiently supported with specific examples or detailed explanations.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the author should provide more concrete examples and elaborate on how these examples relate to the main argument. Each point made should be backed by specific evidence or case studies that illustrate the argument. For instance, when discussing the benefits of social experiences, the author could include statistics or studies that show how these experiences impact job readiness.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally deviates from the main topic, particularly when discussing social experiences without clearly linking them back to the prompt. While the importance of social skills is relevant, the connection to whether students should pay for their education is not explicitly made, leading to a lack of focus.
- How to improve: To stay on topic, the author should ensure that every paragraph relates directly to the prompt. Each argument should tie back to the question of whether students should bear the full cost of their studies. Using topic sentences that reflect the main idea of each paragraph in relation to the prompt can help maintain focus.

In summary, to improve the essay’s score, the author should clarify their position, provide more detailed support for their ideas, and ensure that all content is directly relevant to the prompt. A more structured approach with clear arguments and examples will enhance the overall effectiveness of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument structure, with distinct sections for both sides of the debate. The introduction outlines the topic and the writer’s perspective, while the body paragraphs each focus on a specific argument. However, the logical flow could be improved; for instance, the transition between the two main points could be smoother. The first body paragraph discusses the benefits of university education, while the second shifts to societal benefits without a clear linking sentence that connects these ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases at the end of each paragraph to signal the relationship between ideas. For example, after discussing the benefits of university education, a sentence like "While university education is crucial, it is equally important to consider the broader social skills developed through real-world experiences" would create a smoother transition to the next point.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate ideas, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph contains a central idea, but some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main point. For instance, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence that directly states the importance of university education in developing specialized skills.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence. This will help readers immediately understand the focus of each paragraph. Additionally, consider using a concluding sentence in each paragraph to summarize the main point and reinforce the argument before transitioning to the next idea.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," which effectively signal contrasting points. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some sentences lack clear connections, making it harder for readers to follow the argument. For example, phrases like "Moreover" and "Furthermore" are used, but there are opportunities to incorporate more varied devices to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider using a mix of conjunctions, referencing, and substitution. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "Moreover" to add information, try using "In addition," "Additionally," or "Another important aspect is." Furthermore, ensure that pronouns and synonyms are used effectively to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which will help maintain coherence throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, enhancing logical organization, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices will elevate the coherence and cohesion to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common lexical items. For example, phrases like "holistic development," "specialized skills," and "interpersonal skill" show an effort to employ varied vocabulary. However, there are also instances of repetition and limited variation, such as the frequent use of "students" and "university." The phrase "students who are studying universities" is awkward and could be expressed more clearly.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "students," alternatives like "learners," "pupils," or "undergraduates" could be used. Additionally, varying sentence structures and using more descriptive adjectives could enrich the vocabulary further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are notable instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "the university assist sharpens student’s skills" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The term "majors" is used in a context that may confuse readers, as it typically refers to a student’s field of study rather than a type of educational program. Furthermore, "dynamic works" is vague and could be better articulated.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that vocabulary is used in the correct context. For example, instead of "majors," the writer could specify "academic programs" or "fields of study." Additionally, clarifying phrases like "dynamic works" to "dynamic work environments" would enhance clarity. Regular practice with vocabulary exercises that focus on context and usage can also help.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "tuitions" (should be "tuition"), "assist" (should be "assists"), and "experienced" (should be "experience"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can lead to misunderstandings.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy that includes reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Engaging in regular writing practice and seeking feedback can also help identify and correct spelling issues.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, there are significant areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. Focusing on these aspects will help elevate the lexical resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the sentence "On the one hand, the university play an essential role in training profound majors for students" showcases a basic complex structure. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, such as "the university play" (should be "the university plays") and "students ‘welfare" (should be "students’ welfare"). The use of phrases like "Moreover" and "Furthermore" indicates an attempt to connect ideas, but the overall range of structures is limited, and many sentences lack complexity and sophistication.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences with subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "students can grow them professionally from competitive benefits," the writer could say, "students can grow professionally by taking advantage of competitive benefits." Additionally, varying the sentence openings and using more transitional phrases can help improve the flow and coherence of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, "the university play" should be corrected to "the university plays," and "students ‘welfare" needs to be corrected to "students’ welfare." Additionally, the phrase "they not only accumulate knowledge hands-on experienced" is awkward and should be rephrased for clarity, such as "they not only accumulate hands-on experience but also knowledge." Punctuation errors include inconsistent use of apostrophes and commas, which can confuse readers.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review subject-verb agreement rules and ensure that plural nouns are correctly formed. Regular practice with grammar exercises focusing on common errors can also be beneficial. For punctuation, the writer should familiarize themselves with the rules regarding apostrophes and commas, ensuring they are used correctly to clarify meaning. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing and grammatical mistakes, allowing for revisions that enhance clarity and coherence.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument and attempts to engage with the prompt, addressing these grammatical and structural weaknesses will significantly enhance the quality of the writing and potentially improve the band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The debate over whether students studying at universities should complete their tuition fees arises because educational standards offer more benefits for students compared to social experiences. From my perspective, both positions are essential for individuals’ welfare.

On the one hand, the university plays an essential role in training in-depth majors for students. This is because the educational quality of universities is gradually upgraded and tailored to students’ needs. Many modern infrastructures are installed and implemented to meet the specific needs of each major, such as chemical labs or libraries. Moreover, study programs are frequently updated to keep up with evolving fields, and they are also crucial aspects of developing specialized skills. For example, in some technology universities, students gain a deeper understanding of chemistry as they have access to mix chemicals and observe reactions. As a result, the university helps sharpen students’ skills and theoretical abilities.

On the other hand, students also undergo holistic development through societal experiences. They should be equipped with social skills and personality traits before graduating to commence a job. In some dynamic work environments, students can develop professionally from competitive benefits and opportunities for career advancement. Furthermore, they can gain more valuable opportunities for travel to other regions to exchange cultural knowledge, which fosters interpersonal skills and negotiation skills. For instance, in some businesses, marketing workers are usually assigned to travel to other regions to stay informed and promote their campaigns. Consequently, they not only accumulate hands-on knowledge but also explore other fascinating countries.

In conclusion, although students are reminded to pay their tuition fees regularly each semester for the best educational resources from their university, they ought to be encouraged to broaden their horizons through societal experiences to achieve holistic development.