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Waste disposal presents increasing problems, especially in urban areas. What do you think are the causes? Give some suggestions to the government and individuals on how to reduce amounts of rubbish.

Waste disposal presents increasing problems, especially in urban areas. What do you think are the causes? Give some suggestions to the government and individuals on how to reduce amounts of rubbish.

Most urban areas today are facing the increasing problems of waste disposal which pose an enormous threat to our environment and health . There are some major factors driving this situation , including overconsumption , rapid urbanization , inefficient waste management systems .
One of the primarily cause of this problem is an increasing standard of living . The more the economy develops , the higher the demand of citizens is . Dwellers no longer buy enough to live , they spend a lot of money on other goods which lead to increased waste generation . In addition, the rapid urbanization and population boom has resulted in difficulties in waste production . The another reason is the weakness of waste management systems , rubbish and litters are not handle properly make the Earth more and more polluted
To tackle this issue, it is essential to have a collaboration between the government and individuals . The administrators can take charge of a crucial role by implementing stricter waste management regulations , investing in advanced waste treatments systems such as recycling processes , and reusable items . Furthermore,landing educational campaigns raising awareness of people in conserving environment is a well way to reduce waste efficient by encouraging eco behavior and sustainable practices
Besides, individuals can also contribute to green solutions by having an eco life-style . From tiny activities like manipulating daily habits and propaganda others about the harm of waste can impact critically on the environment .
To sum up, the growth of waste disposal demands immediate attention . By understanding the root of causes and implementing effectives solutions, policymakers and individuals can mitigate this problem


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Most urban areas today are facing the increasing problems of waste disposal" -> "Many urban areas currently face significant waste disposal challenges"
    Explanation: "Many" is more precise than "Most" in academic writing, and "currently face" is more formal than "are facing." Additionally, "significant waste disposal challenges" is a more specific and formal way to describe the issues.

  2. "pose an enormous threat to our environment and health" -> "pose a substantial threat to the environment and public health"
    Explanation: "Substantial" is more academically appropriate than "enormous," and "public health" is a more precise term than "health" in this context, emphasizing the broader impact on society.

  3. "There are some major factors driving this situation" -> "Several key factors contribute to this situation"
    Explanation: "Several key factors" is more specific and formal than "some major factors," and "contribute to" is a more precise verb choice than "drive," which can imply causation more strongly than is intended here.

  4. "the higher the demand of citizens is" -> "the greater the demand from citizens becomes"
    Explanation: "The greater the demand from citizens becomes" is more grammatically correct and formal, improving clarity and flow.

  5. "Dwellers no longer buy enough to live" -> "Residents no longer purchase only the essentials"
    Explanation: "Residents" is more formal than "dwellers," and "purchase only the essentials" is clearer and more precise than "buy enough to live," which is vague and informal.

  6. "The another reason is the weakness of waste management systems" -> "Another reason is the inadequacy of waste management systems"
    Explanation: "Another" should be capitalized as it begins a sentence, and "inadequacy" is a more precise term than "weakness" in this context, emphasizing the specific nature of the problem.

  7. "rubbish and litters are not handle properly" -> "rubbish and litter are not handled properly"
    Explanation: "Litters" should be singular as it refers to the general concept of litter, and "handled" is the correct verb form in this context.

  8. "make the Earth more and more polluted" -> "continuously pollute the Earth"
    Explanation: "Continuously pollute" is a more direct and formal way to describe the ongoing nature of the issue, avoiding the repetitive and informal "more and more."

  9. "it is essential to have a collaboration" -> "collaboration is essential"
    Explanation: "Collaboration is essential" is a more direct and formal way to express the necessity, avoiding the awkward construction "it is essential to have a collaboration."

  10. "The administrators can take charge of a crucial role" -> "Administrators must assume a crucial role"
    Explanation: "Must assume" is more forceful and formal than "can take charge of," and "administrators" should not be preceded by "the" in this context.

  11. "investing in advanced waste treatments systems" -> "investing in advanced waste treatment systems"
    Explanation: "Treatment" should be singular to match the singular noun "system," and "advanced waste treatment systems" is a more precise and formal term.

  12. "landing educational campaigns" -> "launching educational campaigns"
    Explanation: "Launching" is the correct verb for starting a campaign, whereas "landing" is incorrect and informal.

  13. "raising awareness of people in conserving environment" -> "raising public awareness of environmental conservation"
    Explanation: "Raising public awareness of environmental conservation" is more formal and precise, improving clarity and specificity.

  14. "well way to reduce waste efficient by encouraging eco behavior" -> "effective way to reduce waste efficiently by promoting eco-friendly behavior"
    Explanation: "Effective" is the correct adverb form for "efficient," and "promoting eco-friendly behavior" is more formal and precise than "encouraging eco behavior."

  15. "having an eco life-style" -> "adopting an eco-friendly lifestyle"
    Explanation: "Adopting an eco-friendly lifestyle" is more formal and precise than "having an eco life-style," which is awkward and informal.

  16. "manipulating daily habits" -> "modifying daily habits"
    Explanation: "Modifying" is a more formal and precise term than "manipulating," which can have negative connotations in this context.

  17. "propaganda others about the harm of waste" -> "educating others about the harm caused by waste"
    Explanation: "Educating" is a more appropriate and formal term than "propaganda," which is often associated with biased or misleading information.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt effectively. It identifies causes of waste disposal problems in urban areas, such as overconsumption, rapid urbanization, and inefficient waste management systems. It also provides suggestions for both the government and individuals on how to reduce waste. However, the explanation of causes could be more detailed, particularly in linking them directly to urban settings.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples of how these causes manifest in urban areas. For instance, discussing specific urbanization trends or providing statistics on waste generation would strengthen the argument. Additionally, ensuring that each cause is explicitly tied back to the urban context would improve clarity.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position regarding the seriousness of the waste disposal issue and the need for collaborative solutions. However, there are moments where the argument could be more cohesive, particularly in the transition between discussing causes and solutions. The phrase "the another reason" is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the flow of the argument.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should ensure that transitions between paragraphs and ideas are smooth and logically connected. Using linking phrases such as "In addition," or "Moreover," can help guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy will enhance clarity.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the causes and solutions to waste disposal problems. However, some points lack sufficient development. For example, the suggestion for educational campaigns is mentioned but not elaborated upon, leaving the reader wanting more detail on how these campaigns could be implemented effectively.
    • How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more specific examples and details for each suggestion. For instance, discussing how educational campaigns could be structured or what specific regulations the government could implement would strengthen the argument. Providing evidence or examples from other urban areas that have successfully tackled similar issues could also enhance the support for ideas.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on waste disposal issues in urban areas. However, there are instances where the focus could be sharpened. For example, the phrase "eco life-style" is vague and could be better defined to clarify how individuals can contribute to waste reduction.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made are directly relevant to the prompt. Defining terms and providing concrete examples of what an "eco life-style" entails would help keep the discussion relevant and informative. Additionally, avoiding overly broad statements and instead focusing on specific actions or behaviors would enhance the essay’s relevance to the topic.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task, but with more detailed examples, clearer transitions, and better development of ideas, it could achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing causes to solutions is somewhat abrupt. The introduction effectively outlines the problem, but the subsequent paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly relate back to the main thesis. The causes are listed, but they could be more explicitly linked to the solutions proposed later.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of that paragraph. Additionally, use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument, such as "In addition to these causes," or "To address these issues," which can help create smoother transitions between sections.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, but the internal structure of some paragraphs could be refined. For example, the second paragraph discussing causes could be split into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on overconsumption and the other on waste management systems. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each cause and improve readability.
    • How to improve: Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones that each focus on a single idea or point. This not only makes the text easier to read but also allows for more detailed development of each argument. Each paragraph should ideally contain a clear main idea supported by evidence or examples.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "in addition" and "to sum up," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "the another reason is the weakness of waste management systems" lacks a cohesive device that would better link it to the previous sentence.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "moreover," "consequently," and "for instance." Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used correctly in context. For example, revise sentences to improve clarity and connection, such as changing "rubbish and litters are not handle properly make the Earth more and more polluted" to "the improper handling of rubbish and litter contributes significantly to environmental pollution."

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately improving the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "overconsumption," "urbanization," and "waste management systems" effectively conveying the main ideas. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "waste disposal" and "waste management," which could be varied to enhance lexical diversity. Additionally, the use of phrases such as "the another reason" indicates a limited range of connectors and transitional phrases.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should consider using synonyms or related terms to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "waste," alternatives like "refuse," "garbage," or "litter" could be employed. Furthermore, integrating more varied transitional phrases (e.g., "Moreover," "Additionally," "On the other hand") would improve the flow and coherence of the essay.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay includes some precise vocabulary, such as "collaboration," "regulations," and "advanced waste treatments." However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "the another reason," which is grammatically incorrect and should be "another reason." Additionally, phrases like "eco life-style" could be more accurately expressed as "eco-friendly lifestyle" or "sustainable lifestyle."
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and ensure that phrases are commonly used in English. Reviewing vocabulary in context and consulting reliable sources or dictionaries can help in selecting the most appropriate terms. Practicing writing with a focus on clarity and correctness will also enhance precision.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "litters" (should be "litter"), "effectives" (should be "effective"), and "manipulating" (should be "manipulating"). These errors detract from the overall quality of the writing and can confuse the reader.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Regularly engaging with English texts, such as articles or books, can also help reinforce correct spelling through exposure.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the phrase "The more the economy develops, the higher the demand of citizens is" showcases a comparative structure. However, the overall range is limited, with many sentences following a similar pattern (subject-verb-object), which can make the writing feel repetitive. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "the another reason" and "rubbish and litters are not handle properly," which detracts from the overall fluency.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice using more complex sentences that incorporate subordinate clauses and varied conjunctions. For example, instead of saying "The more the economy develops, the higher the demand of citizens is," the writer could expand this to "As the economy develops, citizens increasingly demand more goods, which leads to greater waste generation." Incorporating a mix of sentence types and lengths will improve the overall flow and engagement of the essay.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, "The another reason" should be "Another reason," and "are not handle properly" should be "are not handled properly." Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary space before the period in "health .", and the inconsistent use of commas, which can confuse the reader. The phrase "a well way to reduce waste efficient" is also grammatically incorrect and awkwardly phrased.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and article usage. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focused on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring that commas are used correctly will enhance clarity. For instance, the writer could revise "rubbish and litters are not handle properly make the Earth more and more polluted" to "rubbish and litter are not handled properly, which makes the Earth increasingly polluted." This not only corrects the grammar but also improves the sentence structure.

In conclusion, while the essay meets some basic requirements for grammatical range and accuracy, there is significant room for improvement. By diversifying sentence structures and focusing on grammatical and punctuation accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Most urban areas today are facing increasing problems related to waste disposal, which pose a substantial threat to our environment and public health. Several key factors contribute to this situation, including overconsumption, rapid urbanization, and inadequate waste management systems.

One of the primary causes of this problem is the rising standard of living. As the economy develops, the greater the demand from citizens becomes. Residents no longer purchase only the essentials; they spend a significant amount of money on various goods, which leads to increased waste generation. In addition, rapid urbanization and population growth have resulted in challenges related to waste production. Another reason is the inadequacy of waste management systems, where rubbish and litter are not handled properly, continuously polluting the Earth.

To tackle this issue, collaboration is essential between the government and individuals. The authorities can play a crucial role by implementing stricter waste management regulations, investing in advanced waste treatment systems such as recycling processes, and promoting the use of reusable items. Furthermore, launching educational campaigns to raise public awareness of environmental conservation is an effective way to reduce waste efficiently by promoting eco-friendly behavior and sustainable practices.

Additionally, individuals can also contribute to green solutions by adopting an eco-friendly lifestyle. Simple actions, such as modifying daily habits and educating others about the harm caused by waste, can have a significant impact on the environment.

To sum up, the growth of waste disposal demands immediate attention. By understanding the root causes and implementing effective solutions, policymakers and individuals can mitigate this pressing problem.

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