waste problem

waste problem

In modern times, the issue of garbage problem has become highly controversial. People are starting to debate whether this problem expand everywhere in the future.I will outline in this essay why waste problem is occurring, and offer some measures to tackle this issue

From an overall perspective, there are two main causes why I believe that the waste problem is a bad problem in the environment. First and foremost, the garbage problem of the world begins with actions by humans in life. For example, if people go to the beaches in the summer, they will not put rubbish in the bin. Secondly, the attitude of people in the world is an important factor. To illustrate, when people see rubbish about the garbage in the road, they also never carry it out correctly.

However, there are a variety of viable solutions at hand to address this problem. Firstly, the residents of the urban areas must carry out better actions about the rubbish. For instance, when everyone eats a finished meal, you will pick up the garbage for the bins. Furthermore, the individuals who begin to improve their attitude when they hang out or visit around the earth. To elaborate, the residents need to pick up garbage when they go to the sea and travel the country in the world.

In conclusion, this is a topic which is very relevant to modern society. However, to my mind, the best solution would be to improve the waste problem. I believe that people should build a good attitude in the future.If the authorities implement this policy, it will provide a better life for the future generation

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Errors and Improvements:

1. "garbage problem" -> "waste management issue"
   Explanation: "Garbage problem" is somewhat colloquial. "Waste management issue" is a more formal and precise term that is commonly used in academic and professional contexts.
2. "expand everywhere" -> "escalate globally"
   Explanation: "Expand everywhere" is imprecise and lacks the specificity required in academic writing. "Escalate globally" conveys the idea more accurately and formally.
3. "I will outline in this essay" -> "This essay will delineate"
   Explanation: "I will outline" is more conversational and less formal. "This essay will delineate" maintains formality while expressing the same intention.
4. "First and foremost" -> "Primarily"
   Explanation: "First and foremost" is somewhat informal. "Primarily" is a more formal and concise alternative.
5. "For example" -> "For instance"
   Explanation: While "for example" is acceptable in academic writing, "for instance" adds variation and sophistication to the language.
6. "Secondly" -> "Second"
   Explanation: "Secondly" is slightly more informal compared to "second" when used in academic writing.
7. "To illustrate" -> "To exemplify"
   Explanation: "To illustrate" is less formal than "to exemplify," which is a more suitable choice in academic writing.
8. "Furthermore" -> "Moreover"
   Explanation: "Furthermore" is more commonly used in casual conversation. "Moreover" is a formal alternative that enhances the academic tone.
9. "around the earth" -> "globally"
   Explanation: "Around the earth" is informal and lacks precision. "Globally" is a more appropriate term in academic writing to indicate worldwide scope.
10. "this is a topic which is very relevant" -> "This is a highly pertinent topic"
    Explanation: "Very relevant" is somewhat colloquial. "Highly pertinent" maintains formality and precision.
11. "to my mind" -> "in my opinion"
    Explanation: "To my mind" is a bit informal. "In my opinion" is a standard phrase in academic writing to introduce personal viewpoints.
12. "the best solution would be" -> "optimal solution is"
    Explanation: "Would be" is less direct than "is" in academic writing. "Optimal solution is" expresses the idea more concisely and precisely.
13. "build a good attitude" -> "cultivate a positive mindset"
    Explanation: "Build a good attitude" is vague and informal. "Cultivate a positive mindset" is a more precise and formal expression.
14. "If the authorities implement this policy" -> "Implementation of such policies by authorities"
    Explanation: The original phrase is slightly informal. Restructuring the sentence to "Implementation of such policies by authorities" maintains formality and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address all parts of the prompt by discussing the causes and potential solutions to the waste problem. It acknowledges the relevance of the issue and suggests measures to tackle it.
  • How to improve: While the essay does touch upon the causes and solutions, the discussion lacks depth and clarity. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the causes and solutions in greater detail. Additionally, ensure that all aspects of the prompt are thoroughly covered, including the implications and consequences of the waste problem.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout by expressing the belief that the waste problem is significant and advocating for better attitudes and actions to address it.
  • How to improve: While the position is clear, it could be strengthened by providing more nuanced arguments and supporting evidence. Encourage the writer to delve deeper into the reasons why improving attitudes and actions is crucial and provide evidence or examples to bolster their stance.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks thorough development and support. It mentions causes and solutions to the waste problem but does not elaborate extensively or provide sufficient evidence.
  • How to improve: To enhance the presentation of ideas, the writer should expand on each point by providing specific examples, statistics, or real-life scenarios. Additionally, encourage the incorporation of relevant facts or research to strengthen the argument and make it more persuasive.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the waste problem and its causes and solutions. However, there are instances where the discussion lacks coherence or strays from the main focus.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the waste problem and its implications. Avoid tangential discussions or irrelevant details. Encourage the writer to use clear topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader through the essay smoothly.

Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position, there is room for improvement in the depth of analysis, clarity of expression, and coherence of ideas. Encourage the writer to provide more detailed explanations, support their arguments with evidence, and ensure a consistent focus on the topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization by presenting two main causes of the waste problem followed by solutions. However, the development of these points lacks depth and clarity. The transitions between ideas are somewhat abrupt, making it challenging for the reader to follow the flow of the essay.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the essay could benefit from a clearer introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Additionally, using transitional phrases between paragraphs would help to create a smoother flow of ideas.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, but their structure and effectiveness vary. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear separation, leading to confusion. Others lack coherence, with ideas jumping between sentences.
  • How to improve: Improve paragraphing by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and presents it cohesively. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that previews the content to follow. Use supporting sentences to develop the main idea further, and end the paragraph with a concluding sentence that transitions smoothly to the next point.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses a limited range of cohesive devices such as transition words (e.g., "firstly," "secondly," "in conclusion") and pronouns (e.g., "this," "it"). While these devices provide some coherence, their repetitive use diminishes their effectiveness.
  • How to improve: Diversify the use of cohesive devices to create stronger connections between ideas. Incorporate a variety of transition words and phrases (e.g., "furthermore," "to illustrate," "to elaborate") to guide the reader through the essay more smoothly. Additionally, consider using cohesive devices within and between sentences to reinforce the logical progression of ideas.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion, there is room for improvement in organizing information more logically, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. Strengthening these areas will enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the essay’s communication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While some words and phrases are used effectively to convey meaning, there is a lack of variety in vocabulary, leading to repetitive language throughout the essay. For instance, terms like "garbage problem," "rubbish," and "waste problem" are frequently repeated without much variation.
  • How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader spectrum of vocabulary. Synonyms and varied expressions can be employed to avoid repetition and add depth to the discussion. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "garbage problem," the writer could interchange it with phrases like "waste management challenge," "environmental dilemma," or "trash crisis."

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally employs vocabulary with precision, but there are instances of imprecise usage and awkward phrasing. For example, in the sentence "First and foremost, the garbage problem of the world begins with actions by humans in life," the phrase "actions by humans in life" is unclear and could be more precisely articulated. Additionally, the phrase "the individuals who begin to improve their attitude when they hang out or visit around the earth" is awkward and could benefit from more precise language.
  • How to improve: To improve precision in vocabulary usage, the writer should strive for clarity and specificity in their language. Instead of vague phrases, aim for precise terms that clearly convey the intended meaning. It’s essential to choose words and expressions that accurately represent the ideas being communicated. For instance, in the sentence mentioned above, the writer could replace "actions by humans in life" with "daily human behaviors" for clarity. Similarly, "hang out or visit around the earth" could be revised to "engage in leisure activities or travel globally" for greater precision.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally correct spelling, with only minor errors scattered throughout the text. For instance, "garbage" is spelled correctly, but there are occasional errors like "expands" instead of "expand," "carry" instead of "carry out," and "policy" instead of "policies."
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to detail during the proofreading process. Utilizing spell-check tools and dedicating time to review the essay thoroughly can help identify and correct spelling errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through activities like word games or vocabulary drills can reinforce accurate spelling habits and minimize mistakes in future writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates competency in lexical resource with a sufficient range of vocabulary and generally correct spelling, there is room for improvement in precision and variety. By incorporating a wider array of vocabulary, using language more precisely, and refining spelling accuracy, the writer can elevate the quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. There is evidence of both simple and complex sentences throughout the essay. Simple structures like "People are starting to debate whether this problem expand everywhere in the future" are prevalent, but there are also instances of more complex structures, such as "From an overall perspective, there are two main causes why I believe that the waste problem is a bad problem in the environment." However, the variety could be improved to enhance the overall coherence and sophistication of the essay.
  • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and coherence, aim to incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures, including compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences. Additionally, consider varying sentence lengths to maintain reader engagement and add complexity to the essay. For example, you could combine shorter sentences to form longer, more complex ones, or vice versa.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy, with few major errors. However, there are some instances of incorrect verb tense usage ("If people go to the beaches in the summer, they will not put rubbish in the bin"), subject-verb agreement issues ("when everyone eats a finished meal, you will pick up the garbage for the bins"), and awkward phrasing ("the garbage problem of the world begins with actions by humans in life"). Punctuation is generally accurate but could be improved for clarity and coherence.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully review subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure. Consider using simpler sentence structures if you’re unsure about complex constructions to minimize errors. Additionally, pay close attention to punctuation rules, particularly regarding comma usage for clarity and sentence structure. Proofreading your work carefully before submission can also help identify and correct any remaining errors.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary times, the waste management issue has sparked considerable debate. People are now questioning whether this problem will continue to escalate in the future. In this essay, I will elucidate why waste management is a pressing concern and propose some measures to address it.

From a holistic perspective, I identify two primary reasons why the waste problem poses a significant environmental challenge. Firstly, it stems from human actions in daily life. For instance, beachgoers during the summer often neglect to dispose of their rubbish properly. Secondly, the prevailing attitude towards waste among people exacerbates the issue. When individuals encounter litter on the streets, they often fail to dispose of it correctly.

However, several practical solutions are available to mitigate this problem. Firstly, residents in urban areas must adopt better waste management practices. For example, after finishing a meal, individuals should ensure that the garbage is properly disposed of in bins. Additionally, individuals should cultivate a more responsible attitude towards waste management during their outings and travels. For instance, beach visitors should make a conscious effort to clean up litter, contributing to a cleaner environment.

In conclusion, waste management is a pertinent issue in modern society. However, I am of the opinion that the most effective solution lies in improving waste management practices. By fostering a positive attitude towards waste management, we can create a better future for generations to come. If authorities enforce such policies, it will undoubtedly lead to a higher quality of life for future generations.