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way to protect the environment

way to protect the environment

Currently, the environment is seriously polluted and we need some way to protect the environment. Firstly, reducing the amount of waste by reusing , recycling materials such as plastic, glass, paper instead of throwing it away. Besides, we need to limit the use of single-use plastic products, replace, them with reusable, Secondly, energy saving such as turning off your appliances when they aren't in use . It helps reduce energy bills. thirdly, planting trees. For instance, participate in tree plating activities to contribute and reduce your carbon footprint. protect forests, fight deforestation because trees are the lungs of the earth. Meanwhile, we can use eco-friendly products and organic methods. This helps reduce the use of harmful chemicals in food. Organic food is better for us because it is safer and healthier .Last but not least, raising public awareness. for example, propagating the improtance of protecting the environment. in summary, let's protect the environment


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  1. "Currently, the environment is seriously polluted" -> "Currently, the environment is severely polluted"
    Explanation: Replacing "seriously" with "severely" provides a more precise and formal term that is commonly used in academic contexts to describe environmental degradation.

  2. "we need some way to protect the environment" -> "it is imperative to find ways to protect the environment"
    Explanation: "It is imperative" is a more formal expression that emphasizes the necessity of action, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

  3. "reducing the amount of waste by reusing, recycling materials" -> "reducing waste by reusing and recycling materials"
    Explanation: Removing the comma after "reusing" corrects the grammatical error and improves readability.

  4. "throwing it away" -> "discarding it"
    Explanation: "Discarding" is a more formal and precise term than "throwing away," which is somewhat colloquial.

  5. "limit the use of single-use plastic products, replace, them with reusable" -> "limit the use of single-use plastic products and replace them with reusable"
    Explanation: Adding "and" corrects the grammatical structure, and removing the comma after "replace" improves readability and flow.

  6. "Secondly, energy saving such as turning off your appliances when they aren’t in use" -> "Secondly, energy conservation measures such as turning off appliances when not in use"
    Explanation: "Energy conservation measures" is a more precise and formal term than "energy saving," and removing "your" before "appliances" corrects the possessive error.

  7. "It helps reduce energy bills" -> "This helps reduce energy bills"
    Explanation: Using "This" instead of "It" clarifies the subject of the sentence, making it more direct and formal.

  8. "thirdly, planting trees" -> "thirdly, planting trees"
    Explanation: This is a correct use of the word "thirdly" as an ordinal marker, indicating the third point in a list.

  9. "participate in tree plating activities" -> "participate in tree planting activities"
    Explanation: Correcting "plating" to "planting" fixes a spelling error.

  10. "reduce your carbon footprint" -> "reduce your carbon footprint"
    Explanation: This is correct as written, but it could be expanded to "reduce your personal carbon footprint" for clarity and formality.

  11. "protect forests, fight deforestation" -> "protect forests and combat deforestation"
    Explanation: "Combat" is a more formal and precise term than "fight," and "and" is used correctly to connect the two actions.

  12. "use eco-friendly products and organic methods" -> "utilize eco-friendly products and organic methods"
    Explanation: "Utilize" is a more formal synonym for "use," enhancing the academic tone.

  13. "Organic food is better for us because it is safer and healthier" -> "Organic food is preferable due to its safety and health benefits"
    Explanation: "Preferable" and "due to its safety and health benefits" are more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquial tone of "better for us."

  14. "raising public awareness" -> "raising public awareness"
    Explanation: This is correct as written, but it could be expanded to "raising public awareness about the importance of environmental protection" for clarity and formality.

  15. "propagating the improtance of protecting the environment" -> "emphasizing the importance of protecting the environment"
    Explanation: "Emphasizing" is the correct verb for highlighting the significance of something, and "importance" is spelled correctly.

  16. "in summary, let’s protect the environment" -> "in summary, it is essential to protect the environment"
    Explanation: "It is essential" is a more formal expression than "let’s," which is too informal for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt regarding ways to protect the environment but lacks depth and clarity in its responses. While it mentions several strategies such as reducing waste, limiting single-use plastics, energy saving, planting trees, using eco-friendly products, and raising public awareness, these points are not fully developed or explained. For instance, the suggestion to "limit the use of single-use plastic products" is introduced but lacks a clear explanation of how this can be achieved or its significance in environmental protection.
    • How to improve: To better address all parts of the question, the writer should elaborate on each suggested method. Providing specific examples, statistics, or case studies would strengthen the argument. Additionally, ensuring that each point is clearly linked back to the central theme of environmental protection would enhance coherence.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear and consistent position throughout. While it states the need to protect the environment, it does not articulate a strong argument or viewpoint on why these methods are essential. The transitions between ideas are abrupt, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer’s line of reasoning.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should start with a strong thesis statement that outlines their main argument. Each subsequent paragraph should then reinforce this thesis by linking back to the central idea. Using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the essay and clarify the connections between different points.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are somewhat superficial and lack sufficient support. For example, the mention of "planting trees" is not accompanied by an explanation of its benefits or how it can be implemented effectively. The essay also fails to provide evidence or examples that would substantiate the claims made, such as statistics on the impact of recycling or the benefits of energy conservation.
    • How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to expand on each point with detailed explanations and relevant examples. Incorporating research findings or expert opinions can also lend credibility to the arguments. Each idea should be clearly articulated and followed by supporting details that illustrate its importance.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on various ways to protect the environment. However, some points are introduced without sufficient context or explanation, which can lead to confusion about how they relate to the main topic. For instance, the mention of "organic food" seems somewhat tangential and is not clearly linked to the overall theme of environmental protection.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point directly relates to the prompt and contributes to the overall argument. It may be helpful to outline the essay before writing to ensure that all points are relevant and logically connected. Additionally, avoiding abrupt topic shifts will help maintain coherence throughout the essay.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should focus on elaborating on each point, maintaining a clear and consistent position, providing supporting evidence, and ensuring that all ideas are relevant to the topic of environmental protection.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to environmental protection in a generally logical order. The introduction clearly states the issue of pollution and the need for solutions. However, the transition between points could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing waste reduction to energy saving lacks a clear connective phrase, which can disrupt the reader’s understanding of the flow of ideas. Additionally, the use of "firstly," "secondly," and "thirdly" is inconsistent, as the essay jumps from the second point to the third without a clear transition.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that outline the main idea. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "In addition," "Furthermore," or "Moreover" can help connect ideas more fluidly. Structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each solution, and a conclusion will also improve coherence.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which makes it difficult to distinguish between different ideas. For instance, the points about reducing waste, energy saving, and planting trees are all presented in a single block of text. This can overwhelm the reader and obscure the main arguments. Each point should ideally be developed in its own paragraph to allow for clearer expression of ideas.
    • How to improve: Implement a clear paragraph structure by dedicating a separate paragraph to each main idea. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that introduces the main point, followed by supporting details and examples. For instance, the section on energy saving could be expanded into its own paragraph, detailing specific actions individuals can take, such as using energy-efficient appliances or unplugging devices when not in use.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "besides" and "for instance," which help to connect ideas. However, the overall range of cohesive devices is limited, and some phrases are used incorrectly or awkwardly, such as "replace, them with reusable," which disrupts the flow. Additionally, the use of punctuation is inconsistent, leading to run-on sentences that can confuse the reader.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of connectors and linking words. For example, use "however," "therefore," and "consequently" to show contrast or cause and effect. Additionally, ensure that punctuation is used correctly to avoid run-on sentences. For instance, separating ideas with appropriate punctuation or conjunctions will enhance clarity and readability.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, improving the organization, paragraphing, and use of cohesive devices will elevate the coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to environmental protection, such as "polluted," "reusing," "recycling," "energy saving," and "deforestation." However, the vocabulary tends to be repetitive, particularly with the phrase "protect the environment," which is used multiple times. Additionally, some phrases lack variety, such as "we need" and "for example," which could be replaced with synonyms or alternative expressions to enhance the lexical diversity.
    • How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should consider incorporating synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "protect the environment," alternatives like "safeguard our natural resources" or "preserve ecological balance" could be employed. Additionally, using varied phrases for introducing examples, such as "for instance," "to illustrate," or "as an illustration," would enhance the essay’s richness.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay includes some precise vocabulary, such as "reusable" and "eco-friendly." However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "replace, them with reusable," where the comma is incorrectly placed, leading to confusion. Furthermore, the phrase "the lungs of the earth" is a metaphor that could be clearer if explained further, as it may not resonate with all readers.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should ensure that phrases are grammatically correct and clearly articulated. For instance, the phrase "replace them with reusable" should be revised to "replace single-use plastics with reusable alternatives." Additionally, providing a brief explanation of metaphors or idiomatic expressions can help clarify their meaning for the reader.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "plating" instead of "planting," and "improtance" instead of "importance." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and may confuse readers.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading and utilize spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing writing and reviewing commonly misspelled words can help reinforce correct spelling. Reading more extensively can also expose the writer to correct spelling in context, aiding retention.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary related to environmental protection, there is significant room for improvement in terms of lexical variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("Currently, the environment is seriously polluted") and compound sentences ("Besides, we need to limit the use of single-use plastic products, replace them with reusable"). However, there is a noticeable lack of complex sentences, which are essential for achieving a higher band score. The use of phrases like "For instance" and "Last but not least" indicates an attempt to organize ideas, but the overall structure remains quite basic.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that combine independent and dependent clauses. For example, instead of saying "We need to limit the use of single-use plastic products," the writer could say, "In order to protect the environment, we need to limit the use of single-use plastic products, which contribute significantly to pollution." This not only adds complexity but also improves coherence.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For instance, the phrase "reusing , recycling materials" has an unnecessary space before the comma, and "replace, them with reusable" incorrectly places a comma. Additionally, there are instances of sentence fragments, such as "Secondly, energy saving such as turning off your appliances when they aren’t in use," which lacks a main verb and does not form a complete thought. The use of lowercase letters at the beginning of sentences (e.g., "thirdly, planting trees") also detracts from the overall professionalism of the writing.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to correct punctuation errors and ensure that each sentence is complete. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can help identify and rectify these mistakes. Furthermore, practicing the formation of complete sentences and understanding the rules of punctuation can significantly enhance the overall quality of writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and attempts to present various methods for protecting the environment, improvements in sentence variety and grammatical accuracy are essential for achieving a higher band score. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their arguments.

Bài sửa mẫu

Currently, the environment is severely polluted, and it is imperative to find ways to protect it. Firstly, we should focus on reducing waste by reusing and recycling materials such as plastic, glass, and paper instead of discarding them. Additionally, we need to limit the use of single-use plastic products and replace them with reusable alternatives.

Secondly, implementing energy conservation measures, such as turning off appliances when they are not in use, can significantly help reduce energy bills.

Thirdly, planting trees is crucial. For instance, participating in tree planting activities can contribute to reducing your carbon footprint and protecting forests, which are vital in combating deforestation, as trees are often referred to as the lungs of the Earth.

Moreover, we can utilize eco-friendly products and organic methods. This approach helps minimize the use of harmful chemicals in food. Organic food is preferable due to its safety and health benefits.

Last but not least, raising public awareness is essential. For example, emphasizing the importance of protecting the environment can inspire more people to take action.

In summary, it is essential to protect the environment through various means, including reducing waste, conserving energy, planting trees, using eco-friendly products, and raising awareness.

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