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Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive.What is the reason for this?Is it a positive or negative development?

Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive.
What is the reason for this?
Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, society is not only more and more developed but also wealthier, weddings are bigger and more expensive to be celebrated for their marriage. This tendency has led to how resources are being used wastefully. However, this essay will point out that the development is negative.

The main reason for extravagant weddings is “show off”. People want to show others about their wealth which they made before. For example, couples will hold a marriage ceremony at a luxurious hotel instead of their small warm house. Another reason could come from their parents who wish to give the best things to their children. To show their love towards their children, they organize big and expensive weddings. They will give the most meaningful gift, love or quote for them on this day.

However, people wasting a lot of money on marriage ceremonies could cause profuse resources. It has been seen that tonnes of food getsget wasted aton big weddings. A lot of money is spent on decorations and clothes which are not necessary forin some locations. A bigger wedding makes a mess of guests atin weddings. The number of guests invited to take part means that families can not concern themselves in crowded places. In some cases, they lose much wedding money if they can not manage them well.

In conclusion, Celebrating weddings gorgeously is a good thing for childrens but people can utilize some money to donate to charitable societies that make life more wonderful.


 

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. “Nowadays” -> “Currently”
    Explanation: “Nowadays” is more conversational; “currently” maintains a formal tone suitable for academic writing.
  2. “more and more developed” -> “increasingly developed”
    Explanation: “More and more developed” lacks precision; “increasingly developed” conveys growth more precisely.
  3. “weddings are bigger and more expensive to be celebrated for their marriage” -> “weddings have become larger and more extravagant celebrations of marriage”
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and formality while using “extravagant” instead of “expensive.”
  4. “This tendency has led to how resources are being used wastefully” -> “This trend has resulted in wasteful use of resources”
    Explanation: “Tendency” to “trend” for a more precise term, and restructuring the sentence for better flow.
  5. “The main reason for extravagant weddings is ‘show off'” -> “The primary reason for extravagant weddings is ostentation”
    Explanation: Substituting “show off” with “ostentation” elevates the language to a more formal level.
  6. “For example, couples will hold a marriage ceremony at a luxurious hotel instead of their small warm house” -> “For instance, couples opt for hosting their marriage ceremony at luxurious hotels rather than their modest homes”
    Explanation: Enhancing formality by replacing “hold” with “host,” and refining the comparison for clarity.
  7. “Another reason could come from their parents who wish to give the best things to their children” -> “Another contributing factor may stem from parental desires to provide the best for their children”
    Explanation: Using “contributing factor” for precision and rephrasing for a more formal tone.
  8. “They will give the most meaningful gift, love or quote for them on this day” -> “They often bestow the most heartfelt gifts, expressions of love, or quotes on this occasion”
    Explanation: Improving formality and specificity in expression by replacing “meaningful” with “heartfelt” and restructuring the sentence.
  9. “However, people wasting a lot of money on marriage ceremonies could cause profuse resources” -> “However, excessive spending on marriage ceremonies results in wastage of resources”
    Explanation: Clarifying the sentence by replacing “wasting” with “excessive spending” and refining the language for academic formality.
  10. “It has been seen that tonnes of food getsget wasted aton big weddings” -> “Large quantities of food are often wasted at extravagant weddings”
    Explanation: Correcting the grammar and improving sentence structure for clarity.
  11. “A lot of money is spent on decorations and clothes which are not necessary forin some locations” -> “Significant amounts of money are expended on decorations and attire that are deemed unnecessary in certain settings”
    Explanation: Enhancing formality and precision by rephrasing and using “expended” instead of “spent.”
  12. “A bigger wedding makes a mess of guests atin weddings” -> “Larger weddings create challenges for guests attending such events”
    Explanation: Improving clarity and formality by rephrasing and avoiding repetition.
  13. “The number of guests invited to take part means that families can not concern themselves in crowded places” -> “The large number of invited guests hinders families from fully engaging in crowded settings”
    Explanation: Enhancing clarity and formality by rephrasing and using “hinders” instead of “cannot concern themselves.”
  14. “In some cases, they lose much wedding money if they can not manage them well” -> “In certain instances, mismanagement leads to substantial financial losses in wedding arrangements”
    Explanation: Enhancing formality by restructuring the sentence and using “substantial financial losses” for clarity.
  15. “Celebrating weddings gorgeously is a good thing for childrens but people can utilize some money to donate to charitable societies that make life more wonderful” -> “While celebrating weddings lavishly can be positive for children, allocating some funds to charitable societies enriches lives more significantly”
    Explanation: Improving formality and precision while rephrasing for a clearer and more nuanced statement.

 

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0 – UNDER WORD

  1. Quoted text: “Nowadays, society is not only more and more developed but also wealthier, weddings are bigger and more expensive to be celebrated for their marriage. This tendency has led to how resources are being used wastefully. However, this essay will point out that the development is negative.”
    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction lacks clarity in presenting the writer’s position on whether the trend of bigger and more expensive weddings is positive or negative. It vaguely mentions that the development is negative without explicitly stating the position. To improve, clearly express whether you support or oppose the idea of weddings becoming larger and more costly. For instance, you could state, “While some argue that elaborate weddings symbolize societal progress, I firmly believe that this trend has detrimental consequences.”
    • Improved example: “Nowadays, as society becomes increasingly developed and wealthier, there is a growing trend of larger and more expensive weddings. Some argue that these grand celebrations symbolize societal progress, but I firmly believe that this trend has detrimental consequences for various reasons.”
  2. Quoted text: “The main reason for extravagant weddings is “show off”. People want to show others about their wealth which they made before. For example, couples will hold a marriage ceremony at a luxurious hotel instead of their small warm house. Another reason could come from their parents who wish to give the best things to their children. To show their love towards their children, they organize big and expensive weddings. They will give the most meaningful gift, love or quote for them on this day.”
    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The paragraph provides reasons for extravagant weddings, but it lacks depth and development. It would be beneficial to explore these reasons more extensively by providing specific examples or personal experiences. For instance, elaborate on how hosting a wedding at a luxurious hotel is a way for couples to display their financial success and elaborate on how parents perceive grand weddings as a demonstration of love. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
    • Improved example: “The primary driver behind extravagant weddings is the desire to showcase wealth and success. For instance, couples often choose luxurious venues like hotels to symbolize their financial achievements. Additionally, parents may view elaborate weddings as an expression of love, aiming to provide the best for their children. I recall attending a wedding where the parents spared no expense to ensure a grand celebration, considering it a meaningful expression of their love and pride.”
  3. Quoted text: “However, people wasting a lot of money on marriage ceremonies could cause profuse resources. It has been seen that tonnes of food get wasted at big weddings. A lot of money is spent on decorations and clothes which are not necessary for in some locations. A bigger wedding makes a mess of guests at in weddings. The number of guests invited to take part means that families cannot concern themselves in crowded places. In some cases, they lose much wedding money if they cannot manage them well.”
    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The paragraph discusses the wasteful use of resources in weddings, but it lacks coherence and clarity. To improve, focus on each point separately and provide specific examples or details. For instance, elaborate on the environmental impact of food wastage at large weddings or provide a personal experience related to the challenges of managing a large number of guests. This will enhance the depth and clarity of your argument.
    • Improved example: “Extravagant weddings contribute significantly to resource wastage, particularly in terms of food. I vividly recall attending a grand wedding where a substantial amount of food was left uneaten, highlighting the environmental consequences of such excess. Furthermore, the excessive spending on decorations and clothing, especially in locations where such opulence may not be necessary, adds to the overall wastefulness. Additionally, managing a large number of guests can be challenging, leading to financial losses for some families who struggle to navigate the complexities of hosting a grand celebration.”

Overall, the essay would benefit from a more explicit expression of the writer’s position in the introduction and a deeper exploration of ideas with specific examples or personal experiences to support the arguments.

 

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates coherence and cohesion to some extent. The ideas are arranged coherently with a clear overall progression. The use of cohesive devices is effective, but there are instances where cohesion within and between sentences is faulty or mechanical. Paragraphing is used, but not always logically, and there are instances of unclear referencing.
How to improve: Focus on improving the logical progression within and between sentences. Ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently and effectively. Pay attention to logical referencing within the essay. Reorganize paragraphs for better coherence.

 

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, and there is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, though with some inaccuracies. The essay addresses the prompt, discussing the reasons for the increasing size and cost of weddings and expressing a clear viewpoint that considers the negative aspects. The use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choices that affect the overall fluency and precision. For example, “weddings are bigger and more expensive to be celebrated for their marriage” could be more smoothly expressed. Additionally, there are some errors in word formation and spelling, such as “childrens” instead of “children” and “tonnes” instead of “tons.” Despite these issues, the message is generally conveyed, and there is an attempt to explore the topic with relevant examples.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource, the essay could benefit from a more varied and precise use of vocabulary. It’s important to proofread the text to correct errors in word formation and spelling. Additionally, focus on refining sentence structures to improve overall coherence and fluency. Consider using synonyms and varied expressions to avoid repetition and enhance the richness of the language. Lastly, pay attention to the choice of uncommon lexical items to ensure accuracy and appropriateness in context.

 

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures throughout. There is an attempt at using a variety of sentence forms, incorporating complex sentences alongside simpler ones. However, several grammatical errors and inaccuracies affect the overall clarity and precision of expression. Some sentences lack coherence due to errors in subject-verb agreement, word choice, and awkward phrasing. Punctuation usage is inconsistent, contributing to occasional disruptions in readability.

The essay maintains a reasonable level of communication despite these errors, conveying the author’s viewpoint regarding extravagant weddings. It touches upon various reasons for the trend of bigger, more expensive weddings, such as societal pressure, desires for displaying wealth, and parental aspirations. The essay also highlights the consequences of such lavish celebrations, emphasizing the wastage of resources and logistical difficulties arising from large guest lists.

How to improve:

  1. Grammar and Sentence Structure: Focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy by paying attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and correct word usage. Vary sentence structures more deliberately, ensuring a balanced mix of simple and complex sentences.
  2. Clarity and Coherence: Review sentence construction for clarity and coherence. Revise awkward phrases and unclear expressions to improve overall readability and flow.
  3. Punctuation and Mechanics: Pay close attention to punctuation usage, including commas, periods, and proper capitalization. Consistent use of punctuation will significantly enhance the essay’s readability and coherence.
  4. Vocabulary and Expression: Expand vocabulary and strive for precision in expression. Use appropriate synonyms and phrases to convey ideas more accurately and vividly.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can elevate its grammatical accuracy, coherence, and overall effectiveness in communicating ideas.

 

Bài sửa mẫu

Weddings in today’s society have evolved to become grander and more expensive as a reflection of societal development and increased affluence. While this trend is often aimed at celebrating the union of marriage in a lavish manner, it raises concerns about the extravagant use of resources. This essay contends that this progression has more negative implications.

The primary driver behind these extravagant weddings is the desire to showcase wealth. Individuals often aim to display their affluence by opting for opulent venues like luxurious hotels instead of simpler settings like their homes. Additionally, parents aspire to provide the best for their children, expressing their love by organizing elaborate and costly ceremonies. This desire is often marked by heartfelt gestures, such as presenting meaningful gifts or quotes during the festivities.

However, the excessive spending on such ceremonies contributes to resource wastage. Enormous amounts of food often go to waste at these grand events, and substantial funds are allocated to unnecessary decorations and attire, especially in locations where such grandeur isn’t imperative. Moreover, larger weddings tend to overcrowd venues, making it challenging for families to fully engage in the celebrations. Mismanagement in handling the large number of guests can also result in financial losses for some families.

In conclusion, while celebrating weddings in a splendid manner holds significance for the couple and their families, the excessive expenditure raises concerns about resource depletion and mismanagement. Redirecting some of these funds towards charitable causes could significantly enhance the quality of life for others, making society more harmonious and compassionate.

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