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what are your family routines

what are your family routines

To have a happy family requires many factors, but the most important thing is the connection of family members to each other. In my family, everyone creates common habits to bond with each other. Firstly, my family often cooks together. Every evening we often cook together to share experiences. Learning cooking knowledge from my parents also helps me more experience for the future. This can take care of itself. Second, we often talk to each other after a meal, share our stories and listen to people. That helps us understand and sympathize with each other. Finally, we often play small games such as chess, puzzle … and often go to the movies together, whenever we have free time we often connect with each other are interesting to reduce generation gap. In short,These activities help our family connect with each other, all members feel happy and happy


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "To have a happy family requires many factors" -> "A happy family is contingent upon various factors"
    Explanation: The phrase "requires many factors" is somewhat vague and informal. "Is contingent upon various factors" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.

  2. "the connection of family members to each other" -> "the bond between family members"
    Explanation: "The connection of family members to each other" is redundant and awkward. "The bond between family members" is more concise and natural.

  3. "everyone creates common habits" -> "we establish shared habits"
    Explanation: "Everyone creates common habits" is somewhat informal and imprecise. "We establish shared habits" is more specific and formal, suitable for academic writing.

  4. "often cooks together" -> "regularly cooks together"
    Explanation: "Often" is somewhat vague; "regularly" provides a clearer frequency of occurrence, enhancing the precision of the statement.

  5. "share experiences" -> "share experiences and skills"
    Explanation: Adding "and skills" specifies what is being shared, enhancing the clarity and formality of the sentence.

  6. "Learning cooking knowledge from my parents also helps me more experience for the future" -> "Learning cooking skills from my parents also enhances my future culinary expertise"
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and unclear. The revised version clarifies the meaning and uses more formal vocabulary.

  7. "This can take care of itself" -> "This self-sufficiency is beneficial"
    Explanation: "This can take care of itself" is colloquial and vague. "This self-sufficiency is beneficial" is more formal and precise.

  8. "we often talk to each other after a meal, share our stories and listen to people" -> "we frequently converse after meals, sharing our stories and listening to each other"
    Explanation: The original phrase is informal and lacks cohesion. The revision improves formality and clarity by using more precise verbs and removing the awkward "listen to people."

  9. "That helps us understand and sympathize with each other" -> "This fosters mutual understanding and empathy"
    Explanation: "That helps us understand and sympathize with each other" is informal and slightly awkward. "This fosters mutual understanding and empathy" is more formal and academically appropriate.

  10. "play small games such as chess, puzzle… and often go to the movies together" -> "engage in activities such as chess, puzzles, and movie outings"
    Explanation: The original list is informal and lacks cohesion. The revision uses more formal language and corrects the punctuation.

  11. "whenever we have free time we often connect with each other are interesting to reduce generation gap" -> "whenever we have free time, we find it engaging in activities that help bridge the generational gap"
    Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning, using more formal language.

  12. "These activities help our family connect with each other, all members feel happy and happy" -> "These activities facilitate our family’s bonding, resulting in a sense of happiness among all members"
    Explanation: The original sentence is awkwardly phrased and redundant. The revision improves clarity and formality, avoiding repetition and enhancing the academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing family routines, specifically focusing on cooking together, talking after meals, and playing games. However, it lacks depth and fails to explore various aspects of family routines comprehensively. For instance, while cooking is mentioned, there is no elaboration on how this routine impacts family dynamics or individual relationships. The essay also does not discuss other potential family routines that could provide a fuller picture, such as weekend activities or holiday traditions.
    • How to improve: To better address all parts of the question, the writer should consider expanding on each routine mentioned. Providing specific examples and anecdotes about how these routines foster connections would enrich the response. Additionally, including a wider variety of family routines would demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general position that family routines are important for bonding, but this position is not consistently reinforced throughout the text. The transition between ideas is somewhat abrupt, and the conclusion does not effectively summarize or reinforce the main argument about the significance of these routines.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should ensure that each paragraph ties back to the central thesis about the importance of family routines. Using topic sentences that clearly state the main idea of each paragraph can help guide the reader. Additionally, a stronger concluding statement that encapsulates the overall message would enhance clarity.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas regarding family routines but lacks sufficient development and support. For example, the mention of cooking together is a good start, but the writer does not explain how this activity strengthens family bonds or provides specific examples of what they cook or how they interact during this time. The ideas are somewhat repetitive, particularly the use of "often," which detracts from the overall impact.
    • How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with specific details and examples. Describing a particular cooking experience or a memorable game night could make the essay more engaging. Additionally, varying vocabulary and sentence structure would enhance the overall quality of the writing.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing family routines. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, such as the phrase "to reduce generation gap," which feels somewhat out of place and lacks explanation. The phrase "all members feel happy and happy" is also redundant and does not contribute meaningfully to the discussion.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should avoid introducing ideas that are not directly related to the main topic. Each sentence should contribute to the overall discussion of family routines. Additionally, proofreading for clarity and conciseness can help eliminate redundancy and ensure that each point is relevant.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should focus on expanding and elaborating on each routine, maintaining a clear and consistent position, providing specific examples to support ideas, and ensuring that all content remains relevant to the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure by introducing the main idea of family routines and then elaborating on specific activities that promote family bonding. The use of transitional phrases such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally" helps guide the reader through the different points. However, the flow between ideas could be improved; for instance, the transition from cooking to talking after meals lacks a smooth connection, which can disrupt the reader’s understanding of how these activities relate to each other.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using more explicit connections between points. For example, after discussing cooking, you could add a sentence that explains how cooking together naturally leads to conversations during meals. Additionally, a clearer introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed could help set expectations for the reader.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which can make it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. All activities are presented in a single block of text, which can overwhelm the reader and obscure the main points. Each activity should ideally be presented in its own paragraph to allow for more detailed exploration and clearer separation of ideas.
    • How to improve: Implement a paragraph structure by starting a new paragraph for each main activity. For example, create one paragraph for cooking, another for talking after meals, and a third for playing games. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details. This will improve readability and help emphasize the significance of each family routine.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally," which help in listing the activities. However, the overall range of cohesive devices is limited, and the essay could benefit from more varied linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion. For instance, the phrase "whenever we have free time" feels somewhat awkward and could be better integrated into the sentence structure.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "often," you could use "frequently," "regularly," or "occasionally" to add variety. Additionally, using phrases like "In addition," "Moreover," or "Furthermore" can help connect ideas more fluidly. Practicing the use of different cohesive devices in writing exercises will also help in becoming more comfortable with their application.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of coherence and cohesion with a clear main idea and some effective transitions, improvements in paragraph structure and the variety of cohesive devices will elevate the clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to family routines, such as "cooks together," "share experiences," and "connect with each other." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with the frequent use of "often" and "together." This limits the lexical variety and makes the writing feel monotonous. For instance, phrases like "we often cook together" and "we often talk to each other" could be diversified with synonyms or varied structures to enhance the richness of the language.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions. Instead of repeating "often," alternatives like "frequently," "regularly," or "repeatedly" could be used. Additionally, using phrases like "engage in cooking" or "participate in discussions" can add depth to the vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay conveys the intended meaning, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "helps me more experience for the future" is awkward and unclear; it seems to suggest gaining experience but does not articulate this effectively. The expression "take care of itself" is also vague and does not clearly relate to the context of family routines.
    • How to improve: The writer should focus on clarity and precision in word choice. Instead of "helps me more experience," a clearer phrase could be "provides me with valuable skills for the future." Additionally, replacing "take care of itself" with a more specific phrase that relates to family dynamics would enhance clarity.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling and grammatical errors that detract from its overall quality. For instance, "puzzle …" is incomplete and should be "puzzles" or "puzzle games." The phrase "In short,These activities" lacks a space after the comma, which is a typographical error. Moreover, "are interesting to reduce generation gap" is grammatically incorrect and should be revised for clarity and correctness.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling and grammatical accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors. Additionally, practicing writing with a focus on grammar and punctuation rules will improve overall accuracy.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary related to family routines, there are areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By diversifying vocabulary, enhancing clarity, and ensuring grammatical accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of simple sentences like "In my family, everyone creates common habits to bond with each other" is effective in conveying clear ideas. However, the essay could benefit from more complex structures. For example, the sentence "Learning cooking knowledge from my parents also helps me more experience for the future" is awkwardly phrased and lacks complexity. The use of phrases like "that helps us understand and sympathize with each other" shows an attempt at variety but could be expanded with subordinate clauses or conditional structures to enhance depth.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "we often talk to each other after a meal," you could say, "After we finish our meal, we often engage in conversations that allow us to share our thoughts and feelings." Additionally, using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences will create a more engaging flow in your writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, the phrase "This can take care of itself" is unclear in context and does not effectively convey the intended message. Additionally, the sentence "whenever we have free time we often connect with each other are interesting to reduce generation gap" is grammatically incorrect and confusing. The use of commas is also inconsistent, as seen in "In short,These activities help our family connect with each other," where a space is needed after the comma.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your essay to catch errors in sentence structure and clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that each sentence conveys a complete thought. For punctuation, practice using commas to separate clauses and improve readability. For instance, you could revise the problematic sentence to "Whenever we have free time, we often engage in activities that are interesting and help reduce the generation gap." This revision clarifies the meaning and improves grammatical accuracy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of family routines, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

To have a happy family is contingent upon various factors, but the most important aspect is the bond between family members. In my family, everyone establishes shared habits to strengthen our connection with one another.

Firstly, my family regularly cooks together. Every evening, we come together in the kitchen to share experiences and skills. Learning cooking skills from my parents also enhances my future culinary expertise. This self-sufficiency is beneficial for all of us.

Secondly, we frequently converse after meals, sharing our stories and listening to each other. This fosters mutual understanding and empathy, which are crucial for maintaining strong relationships within the family.

Finally, we engage in activities such as chess, puzzles, and movie outings. Whenever we have free time, we find it engaging to participate in activities that help bridge the generational gap. These activities facilitate our family’s bonding, resulting in a sense of happiness among all members.

In short, these routines help our family connect with each other, ensuring that all members feel content and fulfilled.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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