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When you travel to a new area, you should follow the new customs and traditions. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

When you travel to a new area, you should follow the new customs and traditions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is said that when traveling abroad, tourists should conform to the host country’s customs and traditional practices. While I strongly agree that traditions and customs should be respected, there are instances where travelers can strike a balance between embracing new customs and maintaining their own identity.

Firstly, respecting and adhering to local customs enhances the travel experience and demonstrates cultural sensitivity. For instance, in Vietnam, it is considered important to remove one's shoes before entering someone's house. This practice is rooted in the cultural value of cleanliness and respect for the home. Furthermore, greetings in Vietnam differ from European customs, as warm kisses on the cheek or firm handshakes are not typical. Instead, a gentle bow or a slight nod, accompanied by a warm smile, is a common way to greet others. Embracing these specific customs allows travelers to honor the local traditions and show cultural sensitivity, fostering meaningful connections and deeper appreciation for Vietnamese culture.

On the other hand, it is equally important for travelers to maintain their own cultural identity and values. In some countries, there may be cultural practices that involve animal exploitation or cruelty, such as bullfighting in Spain or the use of elephants for entertainment in certain parts of Asia. Travelers who prioritize animal welfare may choose to boycott or actively speak out against these activities, refusing to participate or support them. By taking a stand against such practices, travelers uphold their own values and contribute to promoting ethical and compassionate tourism.

In conclusion, by respecting customs while staying true to themselves, travelers can create a harmonious and enriching journey that embraces the best of both worlds.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "It is said that when traveling abroad" -> "It is widely acknowledged that when traveling abroad"
    Explanation: Replacing "It is said that" with "It is widely acknowledged that" adds formality to the statement, aligning it more closely with academic style.

  2. "While I strongly agree that traditions and customs should be respected" -> "While I firmly advocate for the importance of respecting traditions and customs"
    Explanation: Substituting "strongly agree" with "firmly advocate for" elevates the language, conveying the writer’s viewpoint with greater emphasis and formality.

  3. "there are instances where travelers can strike a balance" -> "there are situations in which travelers can find a balance"
    Explanation: Replacing "instances" with "situations" and "strike a balance" with "find a balance" maintains clarity while introducing more precise and formal language.

  4. "For instance, in Vietnam" -> "For example, in Vietnam"
    Explanation: The term "For example" is more academically appropriate than "For instance" in formal writing.

  5. "warm kisses on the cheek or firm handshakes are not typical" -> "exchanging warm kisses on the cheek or engaging in firm handshakes is not customary"
    Explanation: Substituting "not typical" with "not customary" and rephrasing the sentence enhances the formality and precision of the expression.

  6. "Instead, a gentle bow or a slight nod, accompanied by a warm smile, is a common way to greet others." -> "Alternatively, a gentle bow or a slight nod, accompanied by a warm smile, constitutes a common greeting gesture."
    Explanation: The suggested changes introduce variation in language and enhance the formality of the sentence.

  7. "Embracing these specific customs allows travelers to honor the local traditions" -> "Adopting these specific customs enables travelers to pay homage to the local traditions"
    Explanation: Substituting "Embracing" with "Adopting" and "allows" with "enables" contributes to a more refined and formal expression.

  8. "On the other hand, it is equally important for travelers to maintain their own cultural identity and values." -> "Conversely, travelers should equally prioritize the preservation of their cultural identity and values."
    Explanation: Introducing "Conversely" and restructuring the sentence enhances the transition and formality.

  9. "there may be cultural practices that involve animal exploitation or cruelty" -> "there might be cultural practices entailing animal exploitation or cruelty"
    Explanation: Substituting "may be" with "might be" and rephrasing "involve" with "entailing" maintains the meaning while adhering to a more formal style.

  10. "By taking a stand against such practices, travelers uphold their own values" -> "By unequivocally opposing such practices, travelers uphold their own values"
    Explanation: Substituting "taking a stand" with "unequivocally opposing" adds strength and formality to the expression.

  11. "create a harmonious and enriching journey" -> "forge a harmonious and enriching travel experience"
    Explanation: Replacing "create" with "forge" and adding "experience" at the end contributes to a more polished and formal conclusion.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

  1. Quoted text: "While I strongly agree that traditions and customs should be respected, there are instances where travelers can strike a balance between embracing new customs and maintaining their own identity."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction is clear in expressing the writer’s viewpoint. However, it would benefit from a more concise and direct statement of the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This will provide a roadmap for the reader, enhancing the overall clarity of the essay structure.
    • Improved example: "I strongly believe in the importance of respecting local traditions while also recognizing situations where travelers can maintain their cultural identity. This essay will explore instances where striking a balance between embracing new customs and preserving one’s identity is essential."
  2. Quoted text: "Furthermore, greetings in Vietnam differ from European customs, as warm kisses on the cheek or firm handshakes are not typical. Instead, a gentle bow or a slight nod, accompanied by a warm smile, is a common way to greet others."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: This paragraph effectively provides a specific example to support the argument. However, to enhance the depth of idea development, consider elaborating on how embracing these greetings fosters meaningful connections and deeper appreciation for Vietnamese culture. This will align more closely with the Task Response criteria.
    • Improved example: "Furthermore, greetings in Vietnam differ from European customs, as warm kisses on the cheek or firm handshakes are not typical. Instead, a gentle bow or a slight nod, accompanied by a warm smile, is a common way to greet others. Embracing these greetings facilitates a genuine connection with the local people, fostering meaningful relationships and a deeper appreciation for the rich cultural nuances of Vietnam."
  3. Quoted text: "By taking a stand against such practices, travelers uphold their own values and contribute to promoting ethical and compassionate tourism."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: This statement effectively presents the idea of maintaining one’s values. However, to strengthen the argument, provide a more detailed example of how taking a stand against unethical practices contributes to promoting ethical and compassionate tourism. This will add depth to the idea development.
    • Improved example: "By taking a firm stand against such practices, such as boycotting or actively speaking out, travelers not only uphold their own values but also play a crucial role in promoting ethical and compassionate tourism. For instance, refusing to participate in activities involving animal exploitation sends a powerful message and encourages others to choose ethical alternatives, ultimately contributing to a more responsible and sustainable tourism industry."

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a well-developed position with relevant ideas. However, enhancing the depth of idea development by providing more detailed examples will further strengthen the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay logically sequences ideas, presenting a clear progression from discussing the importance of adhering to local customs to maintaining one’s cultural identity. There’s an evident understanding of cohesive devices, integrating examples seamlessly to support arguments. Paragraphing is appropriately managed, with distinct segments devoted to different aspects of the topic.

How to improve: While the essay effectively balances viewpoints, enhancing clarity by slightly reinforcing the interconnection between the two perspectives could further solidify coherence. Additionally, varying the range of cohesive devices employed might elevate the cohesion within and between sentences. Finally, ensuring a more explicit link between paragraphs could refine the overall coherence.

Overall, it’s a well-structured essay with strong coherence and cohesion that could be further strengthened with nuanced connectivity between perspectives and increased variety in cohesive devices.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable use of a wide range of vocabulary throughout the piece. There’s a consistent effort to employ varied lexical items and phrases, contributing to a nuanced and sophisticated expression of ideas. The writer effectively conveys precise meanings and exhibits flexibility in language use. Uncommon lexical items are utilized skillfully, enhancing the overall richness of expression. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that slightly affect the fluency and precision of expression. Additionally, rare errors in spelling or word formation are present but do not significantly impede communication.

The essay presents a clear understanding of the prompt and skillfully incorporates diverse vocabulary to articulate viewpoints. Specific instances such as mentioning Vietnamese customs exemplify a rich vocabulary range while discussing cultural sensitivity and differences in greetings. Furthermore, the use of phrases like "taking a stand against such practices," "ethical and compassionate tourism," and "harmonious and enriching journey" reflects the writer’s ability to employ less common vocabulary effectively.

Although the essay showcases a high level of lexical resource, occasional inaccuracies in word choice and infrequent errors in spelling or word formation prevent it from attaining a Band 9. Nevertheless, the extensive use of a wide range of vocabulary and the ability to convey nuanced meanings contribute significantly to its Band 8 rating.

How to improve:
To improve, the writer could focus on refining word choice and collocation to minimize occasional inaccuracies. Additionally, paying closer attention to spelling and word formation would further enhance the lexical precision and overall impact of the essay. Regular practice in identifying and rectifying these minor errors will aid in achieving a more consistent and accurate use of sophisticated vocabulary.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of grammatical structures, showcasing a wide range of sentence forms with a high level of flexibility and accuracy. The majority of sentences are error-free, with only very occasional errors or inappropriacies observed. The use of complex structures is evident throughout the essay, contributing to its overall fluency. The writer effectively employs varied sentence lengths, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance the essay further, consider incorporating a few more complex sentence structures to add even greater variety. Additionally, ensure that transitions between ideas are consistently smooth to strengthen the overall flow of the essay. While the majority of sentences are error-free, continuous attention to detail will help maintain this high level of accuracy. Proofreading for minor errors or inappropriacies can further elevate the grammatical precision of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is often suggested that when traveling to a different country, it is advisable to adopt the customs and traditions of the host nation. I am in strong agreement with the notion that respecting local traditions is essential; however, I also believe that there are situations where travelers can find a middle ground between embracing new customs and preserving their own cultural identity.

Initially, showing respect for and following local customs enhances the overall travel experience and reflects cultural sensitivity. For example, in Vietnam, it is customary to take off one’s shoes before entering someone’s home, emphasizing the cultural values of cleanliness and respect for the dwelling. Moreover, greetings in Vietnam differ from European customs, with warm kisses or firm handshakes being uncommon. Instead, a gentle bow or a slight nod, accompanied by a warm smile, serves as a common way to greet others. Embracing these specific customs allows travelers to honor local traditions, displaying cultural sensitivity and fostering meaningful connections, thereby deepening their appreciation for Vietnamese culture.

Nevertheless, it is equally crucial for travelers to uphold their own cultural identity and values. In some countries, cultural practices involving animal exploitation or cruelty, such as bullfighting in Spain or the use of elephants for entertainment in certain parts of Asia, may conflict with one’s ethical beliefs. Travelers who prioritize animal welfare may choose to boycott or actively speak out against these activities, refusing to participate or offer support. By taking a stand against such practices, travelers not only uphold their own values but also contribute to the promotion of ethical and compassionate tourism.

In conclusion, by respecting customs while staying true to themselves, travelers can create a harmonious and enriching journey that embraces the best of both worlds.

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