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Which is more important when building or buying a new home: its location or its size?

Which is more important when building or buying a new home: its location or its size?

Location and size are both crucial factors when it comes to home-hunting. Depending on purposes, demands, the type of family, etc many people prioritize size over the position. However, from my perspective, the position of a home is more significant.
On the one hand, choosing a location is an important stage in home searching. The better the strategic location of the house, the extra benefits, and conveniences that can be obtained by the owner. For instance, if a home is near hotspots such as banks, shopping malls, cinemas, offices, etc, it will be much easier for the owner as well as their family member to access those amenities. Besides, residents' attitudes, feelings, and healths are likely to be influenced by home location. To be more specific, a home in a place that has much social evil, the residents may feel insecure, uncomfortable, and live in fear. Additionally, if the surrounding environment in their home is polluted, they are likely to be susceptible to respiratory diseases.
On the other hand, in some cases, the size of a home is prioritized rather than its location. It is essential to adjust a house to the number of people who will live in it because when the size of the house is inadequate, it will reduce the convenience level of its residents, conversely if the size of the house is too spacious then the function of some rooms will not be efficient even be useless. However, nowadays many people tend to live in a nuclear family; therefore, it is more common to prioritize location over size.
In conclusion, each individual has a different view on buying or building ahome depending on its size or its location. Personally, it is great to find an ideal location with a suitable size for a house.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Location and size are both crucial factors when it comes to home-hunting. Depending on purposes, demands, the type of family, etc many people prioritize size over the position." -> "Location and size are both pivotal considerations in the search for a home. Depending on purposes, requirements, family composition, etc., many individuals prioritize size over location."
    Explanation: Replacing "crucial" with "pivotal" and refining the sentence structure enhances the formality of the expression. Additionally, specifying considerations like "requirements" and "family composition" adds precision.

  2. "However, from my perspective, the position of a home is more significant." -> "However, in my view, the location of a home carries greater significance."
    Explanation: By using "carries greater significance" instead of "is more significant," the sentence becomes more formal. Also, replacing "from my perspective" with "in my view" maintains formality while providing a smoother transition.

  3. "On the one hand, choosing a location is an important stage in home searching." -> "Firstly, selecting a location constitutes a crucial stage in the process of searching for a home."
    Explanation: Introducing the idea with "Firstly" instead of "On the one hand" adds structure and formality to the expression, while "constitutes a crucial stage" is more academically precise.

  4. "The better the strategic location of the house, the extra benefits, and conveniences that can be obtained by the owner." -> "The more strategic the location of the house, the additional benefits and conveniences accessible to the owner."
    Explanation: Replacing "better" with "more strategic" and rephrasing the sentence for clarity and conciseness improves the overall formality of the statement.

  5. "For instance, if a home is near hotspots such as banks, shopping malls, cinemas, offices, etc, it will be much easier for the owner as well as their family member to access those amenities." -> "For example, proximity to key areas like banks, shopping malls, cinemas, and offices facilitates easy access to these amenities for both the homeowner and their family members."
    Explanation: The revision employs "For example" for formality and restructures the sentence to improve clarity and flow.

  6. "Besides, residents’ attitudes, feelings, and healths are likely to be influenced by home location." -> "Moreover, the attitudes, emotions, and health of residents are likely to be influenced by the location of their home."
    Explanation: Replacing "Besides" with "Moreover" enhances formality, and the term "healths" is corrected to "health" for grammatical accuracy.

  7. "To be more specific, a home in a place that has much social evil, the residents may feel insecure, uncomfortable, and live in fear." -> "To be more specific, if a home is situated in an area with prevalent social issues, residents may experience insecurity, discomfort, and fear."
    Explanation: The term "social evil" is replaced with "prevalent social issues" for a more formal and precise expression.

  8. "Additionally, if the surrounding environment in their home is polluted, they are likely to be susceptible to respiratory diseases." -> "Furthermore, exposure to a polluted surrounding environment at home may render them susceptible to respiratory diseases."
    Explanation: "Additionally" is replaced with "Furthermore" for formality, and the sentence is refined for clarity and conciseness.

  9. "On the other hand, in some cases, the size of a home is prioritized rather than its location." -> "Conversely, in certain situations, the size of a home takes precedence over its location."
    Explanation: "On the other hand" is replaced with "Conversely" for variety, and "is prioritized" is changed to "takes precedence" for a more formal tone.

  10. "It is essential to adjust a house to the number of people who will live in it because when the size of the house is inadequate, it will reduce the convenience level of its residents, conversely if the size of the house is too spacious then the function of some rooms will not be efficient even be useless." -> "It is crucial to tailor a house to accommodate the number of residents. Inadequate size diminishes residents’ convenience, while excessive space may render some rooms inefficient or even redundant."
    Explanation: The revision improves clarity and formality by using "tailor" instead of "adjust," and it streamlines the expression for conciseness.

  11. "However, nowadays many people tend to live in a nuclear family; therefore, it is more common to prioritize location over size." -> "However, in contemporary times, a significant number of individuals opt for nuclear family living, making it more prevalent to prioritize location over size."
    Explanation: "Nowadays" is replaced with "in contemporary times" for formality, and the sentence is rephrased for clarity and precision.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both components of the prompt—location and size. The writer presents arguments for both aspects and ultimately expresses a personal preference for location.
    • How to improve: While the essay covers both parts, providing a more balanced discussion of the advantages of size and location before expressing a personal preference could strengthen the overall response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The writer’s position favoring the significance of a home’s position is evident and maintained throughout the essay. However, the initial statement about the importance of size might create a slight ambiguity, as the essay eventually emphasizes location.
    • How to improve: Clarify the position from the outset, making it explicitly clear that the essay will predominantly argue for the importance of location over size.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, providing specific examples to support the argument. The reference to amenities like banks and shopping malls illustrates the benefits of a strategic location.
    • How to improve: To enhance development, elaborate further on the potential drawbacks or considerations related to the size of a home, offering a more comprehensive exploration of both factors.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains focus on the prompt, discussing the importance of location and size. However, the initial mention of some people prioritizing size might be perceived as a slight deviation.
    • How to improve: Tighten the thesis statement to clearly indicate the preference for location, minimizing potential ambiguity about the essay’s primary stance.

Overall Comments:
The essay effectively addresses the prompt, offering a clear stance on the importance of a home’s location. To improve, consider refining the introductory statement to provide a more balanced discussion before expressing a personal preference. Additionally, ensure that the thesis statement unequivocally establishes the primary position, and further elaborate on potential drawbacks related to the size of a home to enhance the depth of the analysis. The essay maintains a professional tone throughout, and with these adjustments, it has the potential to strengthen its overall coherence and argumentative depth.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear structure by presenting arguments for both sides of the debate. It introduces the importance of location and size, discussing each aspect in separate paragraphs. Each paragraph covers a distinct viewpoint and offers examples to support the argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider a more distinct introduction that explicitly states the intention to discuss both factors. Additionally, use transition phrases between paragraphs to create a smoother flow of ideas.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into distinct paragraphs, allowing for a focused discussion of each aspect (location and size). Each paragraph contains a topic sentence introducing the main idea and supporting details.
    • How to improve: Work on strengthening the connection between paragraphs by utilizing transition sentences that link ideas between sections. Consider using more varied sentence structures to create a dynamic flow within paragraphs.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices like ‘on the one hand… on the other hand’ and ‘in conclusion’ to signal shifts between arguments. It also uses examples (‘For instance,’ ‘To be more specific’) to clarify points and maintain coherence.
    • How to improve: Expand the range of cohesive devices used. Incorporate connectors like ‘furthermore,’ ‘moreover,’ or ‘conversely’ to strengthen the relationship between sentences and ideas. Also, ensure that the use of these devices is consistent throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of coherence and cohesion. To improve further, focus on explicitly linking paragraphs, enhancing transitions between ideas, and expanding the repertoire of cohesive devices. This will create a smoother and more cohesive flow of arguments, elevating the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a commendable range of vocabulary, incorporating words such as "strategic," "amenities," "inadequate," and "convenience." Additionally, the essay effectively uses varied expressions to convey ideas, contributing to a nuanced and sophisticated lexical repertoire.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the vocabulary, consider introducing more domain-specific terms related to real estate or housing, demonstrating a deeper engagement with the essay topic. Exploring synonyms for frequently used words could add another layer of richness to the language.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying ideas without ambiguity. For instance, the distinction between "strategic location" and "social evil" demonstrates a clear and precise choice of words to articulate specific concepts.
    • How to improve: While precision is maintained, there is room to experiment with more nuanced vocabulary in certain areas. For instance, in the conclusion, consider refining the phrase "ideal location" with a more specific descriptor to encapsulate the nuances of an optimal home setting.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a commendable level of spelling accuracy throughout. There are no glaring spelling errors that detract from the overall quality of the writing.
    • How to improve: To ensure consistently accurate spelling, continue to practice proofreading techniques. Consider paying special attention to commonly misspelled words and focus on reinforcing correct spelling patterns. Utilizing spelling and grammar tools can be beneficial in identifying and rectifying potential errors.

In conclusion, the essay exhibits a strong command of vocabulary, with a wide range of words used effectively and precisely. The spelling accuracy is commendable, contributing to the overall coherence and professionalism of the essay. To enhance lexical resource further, the writer may explore more specialized terminology and refine vocabulary choices for even greater precision.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. However, there is room for improvement in the use of more sophisticated structures, such as parallelism and varied clause types. For instance, the essay predominantly relies on simple sentences, and a greater incorporation of compound-complex sentences would enhance the overall structure and coherence.
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range, consider incorporating parallel structures within sentences and experimenting with different clause types. For example, the essay could benefit from using parallelism to balance ideas and create a more nuanced expression of thoughts.
  • Use Grammar Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally accurate grammar, but there are instances of errors that impact clarity. For instance, the phrase "many people prioritize size over the position" could be improved by using "location" instead of "position." Additionally, there are minor subject-verb agreement issues, such as "if the size of the house is inadequate, it will reduce the convenience level," where "it will" should be "they will" for agreement with the plural "residents."
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully review sentence structures for subject-verb agreement and ensure precision in word choices. A thorough proofreading can help identify and correct such errors.
  • Use Correct Punctuation:

    • Detailed explanation: Punctuation is generally used correctly, but there are instances where clarity could be improved. For example, the sentence "Additionally, if the surrounding environment in their home is polluted, they are likely to be susceptible to respiratory diseases" might benefit from a semicolon after "polluted" or a restructuring of the sentence to enhance readability.
    • How to improve: Focus on refining punctuation skills, particularly in situations where sentence complexity increases. Experiment with different punctuation marks, such as semicolons and em dashes, to convey relationships between ideas more effectively. Practice using punctuation marks judiciously to enhance overall clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

“Location and size play pivotal roles in the search for a home. Depending on purposes, requirements, family composition, etc., many individuals prioritize size over location. However, in my view, the location of a home carries greater significance.

Firstly, selecting a location constitutes a crucial stage in the process of searching for a home. The more strategic the location of the house, the additional benefits and conveniences accessible to the owner. For example, proximity to key areas like banks, shopping malls, cinemas, and offices facilitates easy access to these amenities for both the homeowner and their family members.

Moreover, the attitudes, emotions, and health of residents are likely to be influenced by the location of their home. To be more specific, if a home is situated in an area with prevalent social issues, residents may experience insecurity, discomfort, and fear. Furthermore, exposure to a polluted surrounding environment at home may render them susceptible to respiratory diseases.

Conversely, in certain situations, the size of a home takes precedence over its location. It is crucial to tailor a house to accommodate the number of residents. Inadequate size diminishes residents’ convenience, while excessive space may render some rooms inefficient or even redundant. However, in contemporary times, a significant number of individuals opt for nuclear family living, making it more prevalent to prioritize location over size.

In conclusion, each individual has a different view on buying or building a home, depending on its size or its location. Personally, it is great to find an ideal location with a suitable size for a house.”

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