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write 35-45 words apologise to Pat, say how you lost the sunglasses

write 35-45 words apologise to Pat, say how you lost the sunglasses

Dear Pat
Today, i am noti new bad for you. I loss sunglasses, you borred form me. I apologise to you. Yesterday, i went swimming, someone took sunglasses in bag for me. But nothing, i to buy some new one, you favorite model?
You let me know, tks


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Dear Pat" -> "Dear Patricia" or "Dear Patrick" (assuming the recipient’s name is Pat, using the full name enhances formality and clarity in an academic context)

  2. "Today, i am noti new bad for you." -> "I am writing to inform you of a negative development."
    Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The suggested revision clarifies the purpose of the letter and uses formal language.

  3. "I loss sunglasses" -> "I lost my sunglasses"
    Explanation: Corrects the verb tense to match the past action and adds possessive form to clarify ownership.

  4. "you borred form me" -> "you borrowed from me"
    Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "borrowed" and adjusts the preposition to "from" for grammatical accuracy.

  5. "I apologise to you" -> "I apologize to you"
    Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "apologize" to conform to standard English spelling.

  6. "Yesterday, i went swimming, someone took sunglasses in bag for me." -> "Yesterday, I went swimming, and someone took my sunglasses from my bag."
    Explanation: Corrects the verb tense and adds clarity by specifying whose sunglasses were taken and from where.

  7. "But nothing, i to buy some new one, you favorite model?" -> "However, I will purchase a new pair, your preferred model?"
    Explanation: Corrects the grammatical structure and uses more formal language. "However" is a more formal transition than "But nothing," and "I will purchase" is more precise than "I to buy."

  8. "You let me know, tks" -> "Please inform me, thank you"
    Explanation: Replaces the informal "You let me know" with "Please inform me" and corrects the abbreviation "tks" to "thank you" for formality and readability.

These changes enhance the formality, clarity, and grammatical accuracy of the text, making it more suitable for an academic or professional context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 2

Band Score for Task Response: 2 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to apologize to Pat and briefly mentions the loss of sunglasses, but it lacks clarity and completeness. It does not adequately explain how the sunglasses were lost, nor does it clearly convey regret or responsibility.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should explicitly state how the sunglasses were lost (e.g., left behind, stolen) and express sincere regret. Addressing Pat’s feelings and offering to replace the sunglasses would enhance the response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay’s position (apologizing for losing sunglasses) is somewhat clear but lacks coherence and detail. It starts with an apology but shifts to discussing purchasing new sunglasses without a clear focus on addressing Pat’s disappointment.
    • How to improve: Maintain a consistent focus on apologizing and addressing Pat’s feelings throughout the essay. Avoid tangential remarks about buying new sunglasses unless directly relevant to comforting Pat.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented in a fragmented manner with minimal elaboration or support. For instance, the explanation of how the sunglasses were lost is vague, and there is no elaboration on why Pat would prefer a specific model.
    • How to improve: Provide more details and context. Explain the situation clearly, including specific details about the loss and Pat’s preferences. Supporting ideas with relevant examples or personal reflections would enrich the response.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay struggles to stay on topic, drifting between apologizing for losing sunglasses and discussing purchasing new ones. This deviates from the prompt’s focus on apologizing to Pat.
    • How to improve: Focus strictly on the apology and the circumstances of the lost sunglasses. Avoid introducing unrelated topics like purchasing new sunglasses unless directly connected to making amends with Pat.

In summary, while the essay attempts to address the apology prompt, it falls short due to lack of detail, coherence, and focus. To improve, the writer should provide a clear and detailed account of the incident, maintain a consistent tone of regret throughout, and avoid straying from the main topic of apologizing to Pat for losing the sunglasses.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 4

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to convey an apology and explanation for losing sunglasses. However, the organization lacks clarity and coherence. The ideas are presented in a somewhat random sequence without a clear introduction or conclusion. For instance, the apology is mentioned at the beginning but lacks elaboration or sincerity, making it less impactful.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, start with a clear introduction that directly addresses the apology. Follow this with a structured explanation of what happened and a sincere expression of regret. Conclude by reaffirming the apology and expressing a willingness to rectify the situation.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks proper paragraph structure. It consists of a single block of text which makes it difficult for the reader to follow distinct ideas. There is no clear separation between the apology, the explanation, and the closing remarks.
    • How to improve: Divide the essay into paragraphs to improve readability and coherence. Start with an introductory paragraph for the apology, then separate paragraphs for the explanation and the closing. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea to improve clarity and organization.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases (e.g., however, therefore, despite), which are essential for linking ideas and improving coherence. Without these devices, the flow of the essay is disrupted, and the reader may struggle to connect the thoughts presented.
    • How to improve: Incorporate a variety of cohesive devices throughout the essay. Use transitions to indicate sequence (firstly, secondly, finally), contrast (however, on the other hand), and cause-effect relationships (therefore, consequently). This will help in creating a smoother flow and better overall coherence.

Overall, while the essay attempts to convey an apology and explanation, it suffers from issues of organization, paragraphing, and cohesive devices. Addressing these areas will significantly enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, thereby improving its effectiveness in communicating the intended message to the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 3

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 3

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary with frequent errors in word choice and expression. For instance, phrases like "i am noti new bad for you" and "you borred form me" lack clarity and appropriate vocabulary. The repetition of basic words such as "sunglasses" and "new" without variation contributes to monotony.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, focus on using synonyms and more precise terms. For example, instead of "lost," consider using "misplaced" or "misplaced," and replace colloquial terms like "tks" with "thank you." Expanding your vocabulary through reading diverse texts and noting down new words could also be beneficial.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: Vocabulary usage is imprecise throughout the essay. For instance, "noti new bad" and "borred form" are unclear and incorrect. The sentence structure and word choice often obscure the intended meaning.
    • How to improve: Aim for clarity and precision in word choice. Use words that accurately convey your message. Reviewing your writing for clarity and asking yourself if each word effectively communicates your ideas will help improve precision.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling errors are frequent, with examples like "noti" instead of "I’m sorry," "borred" instead of "borrowed," and "tks" instead of "thanks." These errors detract from the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: Practice spelling commonly used words and pay attention to spelling conventions. Using spell-check tools can also be helpful in identifying and correcting errors. Additionally, proofreading your work before submission can catch spelling mistakes and improve accuracy.

In summary, while the essay attempts to convey an apology and explanation for the lost sunglasses, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Focus on expanding your vocabulary, using words more precisely, and improving spelling through practice and attention to detail.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 4

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic variety of sentence structures, including simple and compound sentences. However, there is a lack of complex structures or cohesive devices that could enhance coherence and sophistication.
    • Example: "Yesterday, i went swimming, someone took sunglasses in bag for me."
    • Evaluation: This sentence is a compound sentence, combining two simple ideas. While it shows some attempt at sentence variety, it lacks complexity.
    • How to improve: To improve, incorporate more complex sentence structures such as conditional sentences (e.g., "If I had known…"), relative clauses (e.g., "The sunglasses that were in my bag…"), and introductory phrases for better flow and clarity. Using linking words (e.g., "therefore," "however") can also help connect ideas more effectively.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay has several grammatical errors and inconsistencies in punctuation.
    • Example: "i am noti new bad for you. I loss sunglasses, you borred form me."
    • Evaluation: There are issues with subject-verb agreement ("i am" should be "I am"), verb tense consistency ("loss" should be "lost"), and punctuation errors ("borred form me" should be "borrowed from me").
    • How to improve: Focus on improving basic grammar rules such as verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation marks (commas, periods). Proofreading for these errors before submission is crucial. Reading aloud or asking someone else to read the essay can help identify these issues more effectively.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates some attempt at varying sentence structures, it lacks complexity and suffers from significant grammatical errors. Improving sentence variety and enhancing basic grammar and punctuation skills will be key to achieving a higher band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criterion.

Bài sửa mẫu

Dear Pat,

I’m sorry for losing the sunglasses you borrowed from me. Yesterday, while swimming, someone took them from my bag. I’ll buy a new pair. Could you please let me know your preferred model? Thank you.

Best regards,
[Your Name]

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