Write a paragraph (100-120 words) about three advantages of self-study.

Self-study brings learners three advantages. Firstly, self-study allows learners more freedom. Self-study enables learners to choose when, where, and what they want to study, which makes it suitable for those with busy schedules. Secondly, self-study enables learners to gain important life skills. They take responsibility for their own learning, which helps them develop valuable skills such as time management, self-motivation and independence. Finally, self-study can be cost-effective because learners can save money on tuition and other expenses. In short, with the three mentioned advantages, I believe that self-study is beneficial for learners.

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Errors and Improvements:

"brings" -> "provides"
Explanation: Replacing "brings" with "provides" adds a more formal and precise tone to the sentence.
"three advantages" -> "three benefits"
Explanation: While "advantages" is appropriate, "benefits" is a slightly more formal and precise term often used in academic contexts.
"allows" -> "affords"
Explanation: "Allows" is appropriate but "affords" adds sophistication and formality to the sentence.
"enables" -> "facilitates"
Explanation: "Enables" is suitable, but "facilitates" conveys a more academic tone and emphasizes the role of self-study in making something possible.
"what they want to study" -> "the subjects they wish to pursue"
Explanation: This alteration provides a more precise and formal description of the range of options available to learners during self-study.
"which makes it suitable" -> "rendering it suitable"
Explanation: This substitution enhances the formality of the sentence by replacing the colloquial "which makes it" with the more formal "rendering it."
"enables" -> "empowers"
Explanation: While "enables" is appropriate, "empowers" adds a sense of agency and significance to the action of gaining life skills through self-study.
"take responsibility for" -> "assume responsibility"
Explanation: "Take responsibility for" is suitable but "assume responsibility" adds a more formal and precise tone to the sentence.
"such as" -> "including"
Explanation: "Including" is a more formal alternative to "such as," commonly used in academic writing.
"can be" -> "is often"
Explanation: "Can be" is appropriate, but "is often" adds a stronger assertion and certainty to the statement.
"with the three mentioned advantages" -> "considering these three benefits"
Explanation: "With the three mentioned advantages" is redundant and somewhat informal, while "considering these three benefits" provides a more concise and formal transition to the conclusion.
"I believe that" -> "It is believed that"
Explanation: Replacing "I believe that" with "It is believed that" adds a more objective and formal tone to the statement.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question by discussing three advantages of self-study: freedom in study choices, development of life skills, and cost-effectiveness.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, it could delve deeper into each advantage, providing more detailed examples or explanations to fully demonstrate the benefits of self-study.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting that self-study is beneficial for learners.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, the essay could explicitly state the position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion to reinforce coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents and supports each advantage of self-study. For instance, it elaborates on how self-study offers freedom, develops life skills, and saves money.
- How to improve: To extend ideas, the essay could provide real-life examples or anecdotes to illustrate the advantages more vividly, enhancing the depth of analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on discussing the advantages of self-study without deviating from the topic.
- How to improve: To maintain relevance, the essay could avoid general statements and ensure that all content directly relates to the benefits of self-study.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents coherent arguments, enhancing depth through elaboration and providing concrete examples would elevate the response to a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization by presenting three distinct advantages of self-study in a structured manner. Each advantage is introduced with a transition word ("Firstly," "Secondly," "Finally"), which helps guide the reader through the points sequentially. Additionally, the concluding sentence succinctly summarizes the main ideas presented in the essay, providing closure to the discussion.
- How to improve: To further enhance the logical flow, consider providing more elaboration and examples for each advantage. This will strengthen the coherence of the essay and ensure that each point is fully developed.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to structure the discussion. Each advantage of self-study is presented in a separate paragraph, allowing for clear delineation of ideas. The paragraphs are well-structured, with each beginning with a topic sentence that introduces the main point.
- How to improve: While the paragraph structure is generally sound, ensure that each paragraph maintains unity and coherence by focusing on a single aspect of the advantage being discussed. This will prevent the paragraphs from becoming overly broad or unfocused.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and enhance coherence. Transition words such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally" are used to signal the sequence of points. Additionally, pronouns like "they" are used to refer back to the learners, maintaining continuity throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To further diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating more sophisticated transitions such as "Moreover," "Furthermore," or "In addition." Additionally, utilize cohesive devices within sentences to establish clearer relationships between ideas, enhancing the overall cohesion of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, incorporating terms like "freedom," "responsibility," "time management," "self-motivation," "independence," and "cost-effective." These words effectively convey the ideas presented in the essay and contribute to its overall clarity.
- How to improve: To further enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more varied synonyms and phrasing to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "learners," alternate with terms like "students," "individuals," or "pupils" where appropriate.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with reasonable precision, such as in the use of "self-study," "time management," and "cost-effective." However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise, such as in the phrase "important life skills." While the skills mentioned (time management, self-motivation, independence) are indeed important, describing them as "critical" or "essential" could provide greater precision.
- How to improve: Consider using specific adjectives or modifiers to precisely convey the intended meaning. For example, instead of "important life skills," try using "essential life skills" or "vital life skills" to emphasize their significance.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally maintained throughout the essay, with no glaring errors observed. Words such as "freedom," "responsibility," and "cost-effective" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: Continue to review and practice spelling regularly to ensure consistency and accuracy. Utilizing spell-check tools or seeking feedback from peers can also help in identifying and correcting any potential spelling mistakes.

Overall, the essay effectively communicates the advantages of self-study while demonstrating a satisfactory command of vocabulary and spelling. To improve further, focus on expanding the range of vocabulary by incorporating diverse synonyms and phrasing, using precise language to convey ideas more accurately, and maintaining consistent spelling accuracy through regular review and practice.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures. It incorporates simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively. For instance, the use of a complex sentence in "Self-study enables learners to gain important life skills" showcases the ability to construct more intricate sentences. Additionally, the transition phrases like "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally" enhance the coherence of the essay, displaying organizational skills.
- How to improve: To further enhance variety, consider incorporating conditional sentences, passive voice constructions, or rhetorical questions where appropriate. This would add richness to the expression and demonstrate a higher level of syntactic control.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy throughout. There are no glaring errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, or pronoun usage. Punctuation marks are used correctly to aid clarity and structure. For instance, commas are appropriately placed to separate clauses and items in lists. The essay also employs capitalization and punctuation within dialogue accurately.
- How to improve: While the essay demonstrates strong grammatical accuracy overall, attention to minor issues like the consistent use of serial commas could further polish the writing. Additionally, revisiting the use of punctuation marks such as semicolons or dashes for variety could elevate the sophistication of the writing style.

Overall, the essay effectively showcases a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, earning a Band Score of 7. Continuing to diversify sentence structures and refining punctuation skills will contribute to further improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

Self-study provides learners with three key advantages. Firstly, it offers them greater freedom. By studying independently, learners have the flexibility to choose when, where, and what they wish to study, making it particularly suitable for those with busy schedules. Secondly, self-study fosters the development of essential life skills. Taking charge of their own learning cultivates valuable abilities such as time management, self-motivation, and independence. Lastly, self-study can be cost-effective as learners can save money on tuition fees and other related expenses. In summary, these three advantages underscore the benefits of self-study for learners.