Write a paragraph (100-150 words) about visiting China. Include advice on transportation, the best time to visit, famous cities and places to see, local food to try, and tips for shopping. Use simple words and clear sentences.

You should fly with Air China because it’s a trusted and safe airline. At airports in China, it’s better not to take taxis as they can be overpriced. Instead, try buses or trains, which are cheaper and let you enjoy beautiful views along the way. The best time to visit China is from September to November when the weather is cool and comfortable. Don’t miss Beijing, the capital city, where you can see famous landmarks like the Great Wall and the Forbidden City. Also, make sure to visit Shanghai for its amazing tall buildings. When in China, you must try delicious dishes like dumplings and Peking Duck. Many people in big cities speak some English, so communication won’t be a problem. You’ll find good prices in China, but it’s best to avoid tourist markets as they tend to be more expensive.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"You should fly with Air China" -> "It is recommended to fly with Air China"
Explanation: The phrase "It is recommended to" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing, enhancing the tone of the recommendation.
"it’s a trusted and safe airline" -> "it is a reputable and secure airline"
Explanation: Replacing "it’s" with "it is" corrects the contraction for formal writing, and "reputable" and "secure" are more precise and formal terms than "trusted" and "safe."
"At airports in China, it’s better not to take taxis" -> "At airports in China, it is advisable not to use taxis"
Explanation: "It is advisable" is a more formal expression than "it’s better," and "use" is more precise than "take" in this context.
"they can be overpriced" -> "they may be overpriced"
Explanation: "May" is more academically appropriate than "can" when discussing potential outcomes, and it maintains a neutral tone.
"try buses or trains, which are cheaper and let you enjoy" -> "consider using buses or trains, which are more economical and offer scenic views"
Explanation: "Consider using" is more formal than "try," and "more economical" is a more precise term than "cheaper." Additionally, "offer scenic views" is more formal than "let you enjoy."
"The best time to visit China is from September to November" -> "The optimal time to visit China is from September to November"
Explanation: "Optimal" is a more precise and formal term than "best" in academic contexts.
"when the weather is cool and comfortable" -> "when the weather is temperate"
Explanation: "Temperate" is a more specific and academically suitable term than "cool and comfortable," which is somewhat vague and colloquial.
"Don’t miss Beijing, the capital city" -> "Do not overlook Beijing, the capital city"
Explanation: "Do not overlook" is a more formal way to express the imperative, and "overlook" is more precise than "miss" in this context.
"where you can see famous landmarks like the Great Wall and the Forbidden City" -> "where you can visit iconic landmarks such as the Great Wall and the Forbidden City"
Explanation: "Visit" is more specific than "see," and "iconic" is a more formal adjective than "famous."
"Also, make sure to visit Shanghai for its amazing tall buildings" -> "Additionally, ensure a visit to Shanghai to admire its impressive skyscrapers"
Explanation: "Ensure a visit" is more formal than "make sure to visit," and "impressive skyscrapers" is a more precise description than "amazing tall buildings."
"When in China, you must try delicious dishes like dumplings and Peking Duck" -> "When in China, it is essential to sample the local cuisine, including dumplings and Peking Duck"
Explanation: "It is essential to sample" is more formal than "you must try," and "local cuisine" is a more precise term than "delicious dishes."
"Many people in big cities speak some English" -> "Many individuals in major cities possess some proficiency in English"
Explanation: "Possess some proficiency in" is more formal and precise than "speak some English," and "major cities" is a more formal term than "big cities."
"You’ll find good prices in China" -> "You will discover competitive pricing in China"
Explanation: "You will discover" is more formal than "You’ll find," and "competitive pricing" is a more precise term than "good prices."
"it’s best to avoid tourist markets as they tend to be more expensive" -> "it is advisable to avoid tourist markets, which often have higher prices"
Explanation: "It is advisable" is more formal than "it’s best," and "often have higher prices" is more precise than "tend to be more expensive."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses several parts of the prompt, including transportation options, the best time to visit, famous cities, and local food. However, it fails to mention tips for shopping explicitly, which is a significant omission. The essay does touch on prices and the suggestion to avoid tourist markets, but this does not fully satisfy the requirement for shopping tips.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should ensure that each part is explicitly covered. For instance, they could include specific advice on bargaining, where to shop for authentic goods, or how to navigate local markets. This would enhance the completeness of the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position regarding the advantages of certain transportation methods and the best times to visit. However, the overall structure lacks a strong introductory or concluding statement that reinforces the main message or purpose of the paragraph. The ideas are presented somewhat randomly, which can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should start with a brief introductory sentence that outlines what the paragraph will cover. Additionally, a concluding sentence summarizing the key points or offering a final recommendation would help to solidify the position throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the recommendation for Air China and the description of famous cities. However, many ideas are not sufficiently extended or supported with examples or explanations. For instance, while it mentions the Great Wall and Peking Duck, it does not elaborate on why these are must-see attractions or must-try foods.
- How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the writer should aim to provide more context or reasoning behind each suggestion. For example, they could explain the historical significance of the Great Wall or describe the unique flavors of Peking Duck. This would enrich the content and engage the reader more effectively.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on visiting China and providing relevant advice. However, the lack of explicit mention of shopping tips and the somewhat scattered presentation of ideas can detract from the overall focus.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should organize the paragraph logically, perhaps by grouping related ideas together. Using clear topic sentences for each section (e.g., transportation, best time to visit, cities, food, shopping) would help guide the reader and ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed systematically.

Overall, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should ensure all parts of the prompt are covered, present a clear and cohesive structure, extend and support ideas with more detail, and maintain a focused approach throughout the paragraph. Additionally, addressing the word count requirement is crucial, as being under the word limit can significantly impact the score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents information in a logical sequence, starting with transportation advice, followed by the best time to visit, and then highlighting famous cities and local cuisine. This structure effectively guides the reader through the various aspects of visiting China. For example, the transition from discussing transportation to the best time to visit is smooth, as both points are relevant to planning a trip.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences for each section. For instance, a sentence that explicitly states the transition from transportation to the best time to visit could help reinforce the organization. Additionally, grouping similar ideas together, such as transportation and local tips, could further streamline the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is presented as a single paragraph, which makes it challenging to distinguish between different ideas. While the information is relevant, the lack of paragraphing diminishes the clarity and readability of the content. Each aspect of the visit—transportation, timing, cities, food, and shopping—could benefit from being in its own paragraph.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, divide the essay into distinct sections, each focusing on one main idea. For example, start a new paragraph for transportation, another for the best time to visit, and so on. This will help the reader to follow the information more easily and understand the relationships between different points.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "instead" and "also," to connect ideas. These devices help to create a sense of continuity. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, which can make the writing feel repetitive and less engaging. For example, the use of "also" to introduce additional points could be varied with alternatives like "furthermore" or "in addition."
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, using phrases like "on the other hand" when contrasting transportation options or "for instance" when providing examples of local food can enhance the essay’s cohesion. Additionally, consider using pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help to reduce redundancy and improve flow.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion with a solid logical structure, improvements in paragraphing and the variety of cohesive devices will further elevate the clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to travel and tourism, such as "trusted," "safe," "overpriced," "delicious," and "amazing." However, the vocabulary is somewhat basic and lacks variety. For instance, terms like "good prices" and "big cities" could be replaced with more sophisticated alternatives like "affordable rates" and "metropolitan areas." This limited range can detract from the overall impression of lexical resourcefulness.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more descriptive adjectives. For example, instead of repeating "big cities," they could use "major urban centers" or "metropolitan hubs." Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary lists related to travel could also help diversify word choice.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary correctly, but there are instances where precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "it’s better not to take taxis as they can be overpriced" could be more effectively stated as "it is advisable to avoid taxis due to their potential for inflated fares." This change enhances clarity and precision.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using contextually appropriate phrases and ensuring that the meaning is clear. Practicing paraphrasing sentences and seeking feedback on word choice can help refine vocabulary use.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is accurate, with no noticeable errors. Words like "airline," "overpriced," "dumplings," and "communication" are spelled correctly, which reflects a good command of spelling conventions.
- How to improve: While spelling is correct, the writer can maintain this accuracy by regularly practicing writing and proofreading their work. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading extensively can also help reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid foundation in lexical resource, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range and precision. By expanding their vocabulary and focusing on more sophisticated word choices, the writer can enhance their overall lexical resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly employs simple sentence structures, such as "You should fly with Air China because it’s a trusted and safe airline." While this sentence is clear, the overall variety in sentence types is limited. The essay contains a few compound sentences, but complex structures are largely absent. For instance, the sentence "Instead, try buses or trains, which are cheaper and let you enjoy beautiful views along the way" demonstrates some complexity, but it could be further enhanced by incorporating more varied conjunctions and clauses.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "The best time to visit China is from September to November," you could say, "If you want to enjoy pleasant weather, the best time to visit China is from September to November." Additionally, incorporating different sentence beginnings and varying the length of sentences can create a more engaging and dynamic writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation, with few errors. However, there are minor issues that could be addressed. For example, the phrase "it’s better not to take taxis as they can be overpriced" could be improved for clarity and formality by rephrasing it to "it is advisable to avoid taking taxis, as they may be overpriced." Additionally, the use of commas could be more consistent; for instance, a comma could be added before "which are cheaper" to clarify the sentence structure.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread for common errors and consider the formality of language. Practicing the use of commas in complex sentences will also help improve punctuation skills. Furthermore, reviewing grammar rules related to modal verbs and conditional sentences can aid in constructing more sophisticated and accurate sentences.

By focusing on these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

When visiting China, it is recommended to fly with Air China, as it is a reputable and secure airline. At airports in China, it is advisable not to use taxis, as they may be overpriced. Instead, consider using buses or trains, which are more economical and offer scenic views along the way. The optimal time to visit China is from September to November, when the weather is temperate and pleasant. Do not overlook Beijing, the capital city, where you can visit iconic landmarks such as the Great Wall and the Forbidden City. Additionally, ensure a visit to Shanghai to admire its impressive skyscrapers. When in China, it is essential to sample the local cuisine, including dumplings and Peking Duck. Many individuals in major cities possess some proficiency in English, so communication should be manageable. You will discover competitive pricing in China, but it is advisable to avoid tourist markets, which often have higher prices.