Write a paragraph of about 180 words discussing specific actions individuals can take to protect the environment.

Today, humanity is expanding at an unprecedented rate, and the environment plays a crucial role in supporting this growth. However, to safeguard the precious resources that nature offers, it is imperative to take action. Firstly, each individual should effectively manage their waste, as littering harms wildlife habitats and disrupts animal diets and behaviors. To foster change, individuals should promote awareness about responsible waste disposal. Additionally, reducing energy consumption by switching off unused lights and appliances is critical, as it contributes to the conservation of fossil fuels. Furthermore, consumers should prioritize eco-friendly products. For instance, utilizing reusable bags instead of disposable plastic bags can significantly reduce long-term environmental waste. Ultimately, each individual has a responsibility to support environmental conservation through practical and effective actions. By adopting these habits, we can help ensure the environment’s longevity for future generations.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"humanity is expanding at an unprecedented rate" -> "human populations are growing at an unprecedented rate"
Explanation: The term "humanity" is somewhat vague and can be replaced with "human populations" to specify the subject more clearly and appropriately in an academic context.
"plays a crucial role" -> "plays a pivotal role"
Explanation: "Pivotal" is a more precise and academically formal term than "crucial," emphasizing the importance of the environment in a more nuanced manner.
"it is imperative to take action" -> "it is essential to implement measures"
Explanation: "Implement measures" is more specific and formal than "take action," which is somewhat vague and informal for academic writing.
"each individual should effectively manage their waste" -> "each individual should manage their waste effectively"
Explanation: The original order is slightly awkward; placing "effectively" after "manage" improves the flow and clarity of the sentence.
"littering harms wildlife habitats and disrupts animal diets and behaviors" -> "littering damages wildlife habitats, disrupts animal diets, and alters their behaviors"
Explanation: "Damages" and "alters" are more precise and formal than "harms" and "disrupts," enhancing the academic tone.
"promote awareness about responsible waste disposal" -> "promote awareness of responsible waste disposal"
Explanation: The preposition "of" is more appropriate than "about" in this context, as it correctly indicates the subject of the awareness being promoted.
"reducing energy consumption by switching off unused lights and appliances" -> "reducing energy consumption by switching off unused lights and appliances"
Explanation: The repetition of "reducing energy consumption" is unnecessary and can be removed for conciseness and clarity.
"utilizing reusable bags instead of disposable plastic bags" -> "using reusable bags instead of disposable plastic bags"
Explanation: "Using" is a more common and formal term in academic writing compared to "utilizing," which can sound overly formal or pretentious.
"can significantly reduce long-term environmental waste" -> "can significantly reduce long-term environmental impact"
Explanation: "Impact" is a more precise term than "waste," which is vague and can be misleading in this context, referring to the broader effects on the environment.
"each individual has a responsibility to support environmental conservation" -> "each individual bears a responsibility to support environmental conservation"
Explanation: "Bears a responsibility" is a more formal and precise way to express the obligation, fitting the academic style better.
"By adopting these habits" -> "By adopting these practices"
Explanation: "Practices" is a more formal and specific term than "habits," which is somewhat informal and vague in this context.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing specific actions individuals can take to protect the environment. However, it lacks depth in exploring a variety of actions. The essay mentions waste management, reducing energy consumption, and prioritizing eco-friendly products, but it does not provide a comprehensive list or elaborate on these actions sufficiently. The mention of promoting awareness is vague and lacks specific strategies or examples.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim to include a wider range of specific actions, such as recycling, using public transport, or supporting sustainable practices. Each action should be explained in more detail, potentially including how individuals can implement these actions in their daily lives.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general position that individuals have a responsibility to protect the environment. However, this position could be articulated more clearly throughout the essay. The introduction hints at the importance of the environment, but the connection between the actions listed and the overarching responsibility could be made more explicit.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion. Using phrases like "It is essential that individuals…" or "We must take these actions because…" can help strengthen the position and create a more cohesive argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are relevant but lack sufficient development. For example, while the essay mentions managing waste and reducing energy consumption, it does not provide examples of how these actions can be implemented or their potential impact on the environment. The supporting details are somewhat general and do not fully extend the ideas presented.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on each action with specific examples or statistics that illustrate the importance and effectiveness of these actions. For instance, discussing the impact of plastic waste on marine life when mentioning reusable bags could provide a stronger connection and support for the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing actions individuals can take to protect the environment. However, the introduction could be seen as slightly off-topic as it focuses on humanity’s growth rather than directly addressing environmental protection actions. This could distract from the main focus of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that the introduction directly relates to the actions individuals can take. Starting with a statement about the urgency of environmental protection would set a more relevant tone for the essay. Additionally, avoiding broad statements that do not directly tie into the actions discussed will help keep the essay on topic.

Overall, to improve the essay’s band score, the writer should aim for a more comprehensive exploration of actions, clearer articulation of their position, better development and support of ideas, and a tighter focus on the topic throughout the essay. Additionally, ensuring the essay meets the word count requirement is crucial, as being under the word limit can significantly impact the overall score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical progression of ideas. It begins with a general statement about the importance of the environment, followed by specific actions individuals can take to protect it. Each action is introduced with a transition word (e.g., "Firstly," "Additionally," "Furthermore"), which helps guide the reader through the argument. The structure effectively builds on the previous point, leading to a strong concluding statement that reinforces the overall message.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more varied transition phrases to avoid repetition and to create a smoother connection between ideas. For instance, instead of starting each point with "Firstly," "Additionally," and "Furthermore," you might use "In addition," or "Moreover," to maintain reader engagement and improve the overall flow.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is structured as a single cohesive paragraph, which limits its effectiveness. While the ideas are logically organized, the absence of distinct paragraphs makes it harder for the reader to digest the information. Each action could be presented in its own paragraph, allowing for more detailed exploration and clearer separation of ideas.
- How to improve: Break the essay into multiple paragraphs, each focusing on a specific action. For example, one paragraph could discuss waste management, another could address energy consumption, and a third could cover the use of eco-friendly products. This would not only improve readability but also allow for a more in-depth discussion of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a range of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Additionally," and "Furthermore," which effectively link the ideas. However, the repetition of these devices can make the writing feel somewhat formulaic. The use of pronouns (e.g., "each individual") also helps maintain cohesion, but the essay could benefit from a wider variety of cohesive devices to enhance the flow.
- How to improve: Introduce a broader range of cohesive devices, such as "For example," "Consequently," and "As a result," to diversify the writing style. Additionally, consider using synonyms or rephrasing to avoid redundancy. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "individuals," you could use "people" or "consumers" to maintain interest and improve cohesion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, earning a high band score. By implementing the suggested improvements, particularly in paragraphing and the variety of cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher level of clarity and effectiveness.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "safeguard," "crucial," "promote awareness," and "eco-friendly." These words effectively convey the message about environmental protection. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "individual" and "waste" could be replaced with synonyms or related terms to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, consider using synonyms for "individual" such as "person," "citizen," or "member of society." Similarly, for "waste," alternatives like "refuse," "trash," or "litter" could be employed. Incorporating a broader array of vocabulary will help elevate the overall quality of the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where precision could be improved. For instance, the phrase "critical, as it contributes to the conservation of fossil fuels" could be misleading since reducing energy consumption primarily conserves electricity rather than fossil fuels directly. This imprecision may confuse readers about the specific environmental benefits.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, clarify the relationship between actions and their environmental impacts. Instead of saying "contributes to the conservation of fossil fuels," it could be rephrased to "reduces the demand for fossil fuels," which more accurately reflects the action’s impact. Ensuring that vocabulary accurately conveys the intended meaning will strengthen the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the provided text. Words are spelled correctly, which contributes positively to the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate, it is always beneficial to maintain this standard. Regular practice through writing exercises and proofreading can help sustain spelling accuracy. Additionally, using tools like spell checkers or engaging in peer reviews can further ensure that spelling remains correct in future essays.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of vocabulary with some effective usage, there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. By diversifying vocabulary choices and ensuring accuracy in word usage, the overall quality of the essay can be enhanced. Maintaining spelling accuracy will continue to support the clarity and professionalism of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "However, to safeguard the precious resources that nature offers, it is imperative to take action" showcases an ability to convey nuanced ideas effectively. Additionally, the essay includes a mix of simple and compound sentences, which helps maintain reader engagement. The phrases "Firstly," "Additionally," and "Furthermore" serve as effective discourse markers that guide the reader through the argument. However, there is a tendency to rely on similar sentence beginnings, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider varying the introductory phrases and employing more complex grammatical forms, such as conditional sentences or participial phrases. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "individuals should," you might rephrase some sentences to start with a dependent clause or an adverbial phrase, such as "By managing waste effectively, individuals can…" This would enhance the overall complexity and fluidity of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "littering harms wildlife habitats and disrupts animal diets and behaviors" is grammatically correct and clearly conveys the message. Punctuation is used effectively throughout the essay, with commas placed correctly to separate clauses and items in a list. However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of commas before conjunctions in compound sentences, which could lead to confusion in complex structures.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on reviewing the rules regarding the use of commas in compound sentences. For instance, in the sentence "Additionally, reducing energy consumption by switching off unused lights and appliances is critical, as it contributes to the conservation of fossil fuels," consider whether a comma is necessary before "as." Practicing more complex sentence constructions and reviewing punctuation rules will help solidify these skills. Additionally, consider proofreading for any minor errors that may have been overlooked during the writing process.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. With some targeted improvements in sentence variety and punctuation consistency, the writing could reach an even higher level of sophistication.

Bài sửa mẫu

Today, human populations are growing at an unprecedented rate, and the environment plays a pivotal role in supporting this growth. However, to safeguard the precious resources that nature provides, it is essential to implement measures. Firstly, each individual should manage their waste effectively, as littering damages wildlife habitats, disrupts animal diets, and alters their behaviors. To foster change, individuals should promote awareness of responsible waste disposal. Additionally, reducing energy consumption by switching off unused lights and appliances is critical, as it contributes to the conservation of fossil fuels. Furthermore, consumers should prioritize eco-friendly products. For instance, using reusable bags instead of disposable plastic bags can significantly reduce long-term environmental impact. Ultimately, each individual bears a responsibility to support environmental conservation through practical and effective actions. By adopting these practices, we can help ensure the environment’s longevity for future generations.