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Write about family day in Thailand

Write about family day in Thailand

Family Day in Thailand was officially established by the Thai government in 2005 Thailand's Family Day, held on April 14th every year, is celebrated during the Songkran festival, which is the Thai New Year.Family day is an opportunity for people to bond, show love and care for family members. This day is very special for Thai families as they come together to spend time with each other and show respect to their parents and grandparents.This is the most important festival of the Thai people, usually taking place in April. Songkran is not only an occasion for people to have fun splashing water but also a time for family members to return home to reunite, show respect to the elderly by performing the "Rod Nam Dum Hua" ritual – offering scented water to the hands of the elders to bless and pray for health. Besides,People gather with their family members, visit temples, and pour water on Buddha statues as a symbol of good luck.Family Day in Thailand is a very special holiday as it brings emotional experiences that emphasize the bond among family members and showcases the unique beauty of Thai culture. As a Vietnamese, I am also impressed by this.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "was officially established by the Thai government in 2005" -> "was officially designated by the Thai government in 2005"
    Explanation: "Designated" is a more precise term in this context, indicating the formal declaration or assignment of a specific date or event, which is more suitable for an academic or formal context than "established."

  2. "is celebrated during the Songkran festival" -> "is observed during the Songkran festival"
    Explanation: "Observed" is a more formal term that fits better in academic writing, suggesting a more deliberate and formal recognition of the event.

  3. "is an opportunity for people to bond" -> "serves as an occasion for individuals to strengthen bonds"
    Explanation: "Serves as an occasion" is more formal and precise, and "strengthen bonds" is a more specific and academically appropriate phrase than "bond."

  4. "show love and care for family members" -> "demonstrate affection and care for family members"
    Explanation: "Demonstrate" is more formal and precise than "show," and "affection" is a more specific term than "love," which can be seen as overly emotional for academic writing.

  5. "This day is very special for Thai families" -> "This day holds significant importance for Thai families"
    Explanation: "Holds significant importance" is a more formal and precise way to convey the importance of the day, avoiding the colloquial tone of "very special."

  6. "come together to spend time with each other" -> "gather to spend time together"
    Explanation: "Gather" is a more formal synonym for "come together," and removing "each other" simplifies the phrase without losing meaning, making it more concise and formal.

  7. "show respect to their parents and grandparents" -> "pay homage to their parents and grandparents"
    Explanation: "Pay homage" is a more formal expression that conveys respect and reverence, fitting the academic tone better than "show respect."

  8. "This is the most important festival of the Thai people" -> "This is the most significant festival for the Thai people"
    Explanation: "Significant" is a more precise and formal adjective than "important," and "for" is more appropriate than "of" in this context.

  9. "usually taking place in April" -> "typically occurring in April"
    Explanation: "Typically occurring" is a more formal expression than "usually taking place," aligning better with academic style.

  10. "not only an occasion for people to have fun splashing water" -> "not only an occasion for people to engage in water play"
    Explanation: "Engage in water play" is a more formal and precise way to describe the activities involved in Songkran, avoiding the casual tone of "have fun splashing water."

  11. "show respect to the elderly by performing the ‘Rod Nam Dum Hua’ ritual" -> "honor the elderly by performing the ‘Rod Nam Dum Hua’ ritual"
    Explanation: "Honor" is a more formal term than "show respect," and it is more specific to the context of rituals and ceremonies.

  12. "pour water on Buddha statues as a symbol of good luck" -> "immerse Buddha statues in water as a symbol of good fortune"
    Explanation: "Immerse" is a more precise verb than "pour," and "good fortune" is a more formal and academic term than "good luck."

  13. "As a Vietnamese, I am also impressed by this" -> "As a Vietnamese individual, I am also impressed by this"
    Explanation: Adding "individual" clarifies the subject and maintains the formal tone, aligning with academic style.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the topic of Family Day in Thailand by providing some background information about its establishment and the significance of the day during the Songkran festival. However, it lacks depth in exploring the various aspects of Family Day, such as specific traditions, activities, or personal anecdotes that illustrate its importance. The essay briefly mentions the rituals and gatherings, but it does not fully explore how these contribute to the overall experience of Family Day.
    • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should include more detailed descriptions of specific activities families engage in during Family Day, such as traditional foods, games, or community events. Additionally, incorporating personal reflections or observations about the impact of these traditions on family relationships would enhance the response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general positive view of Family Day and its significance for Thai families. However, the position is not consistently maintained throughout the essay, particularly with the abrupt mention of the writer’s identity as Vietnamese at the end, which could confuse readers regarding the writer’s perspective on the topic.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should focus on the Thai perspective throughout the essay. If personal reflections are included, they should be integrated more seamlessly into the discussion of Family Day, ensuring that the overall narrative remains centered on the Thai experience.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas about Family Day, such as bonding and respect for elders. However, these ideas are not sufficiently extended or supported with examples or elaboration. For instance, while the "Rod Nam Dum Hua" ritual is mentioned, the essay does not explain its significance or how it is performed in detail, leaving the reader wanting more context.
    • How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and substantiate ideas, the writer should provide more detailed explanations and examples. This could include describing the emotional impact of family gatherings, sharing specific stories or memories related to Family Day, or discussing how different regions in Thailand might celebrate the day uniquely.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on Family Day in Thailand. However, the inclusion of the writer’s identity as a Vietnamese person feels somewhat out of place and distracts from the main focus of the essay. This could lead to a lack of clarity regarding the writer’s connection to the topic.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should avoid introducing unrelated personal details unless they directly contribute to the discussion of Family Day. If the writer wishes to include their perspective, it should be framed in a way that enhances the understanding of Family Day rather than detracts from it.

Overall, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should aim to provide more detailed and relevant content, maintain a consistent perspective, and ensure that all ideas are well-supported and clearly articulated. Additionally, addressing the word count issue by expanding on the ideas presented will also contribute to a higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents information in a generally logical manner, starting with the establishment of Family Day and its significance during the Songkran festival. The progression from the introduction of the holiday to its cultural practices is clear, allowing the reader to understand the importance of the day. However, the essay could benefit from a more structured approach, such as clearly defined sections for the introduction, body, and conclusion. For instance, the transition from discussing the significance of Family Day to the rituals performed could be smoother, as the current flow feels somewhat abrupt.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clear topic sentences for each paragraph that outline the main idea. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, a sentence linking the importance of family bonding to the specific rituals practiced could provide a better flow.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks distinct paragraphs, which affects its readability and overall coherence. While the content is relevant, the absence of paragraph breaks makes it difficult for the reader to identify separate ideas or themes. The essay would benefit from breaking the text into at least three paragraphs: an introduction, a body paragraph discussing the significance of Family Day, and another focusing on the rituals and cultural aspects.
    • How to improve: Implement clear paragraphing by starting a new paragraph for each new idea or theme. For instance, create a separate paragraph for the description of the rituals associated with Family Day, and another for the emotional significance of the day. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily and improve the overall structure.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "besides" and "as," to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive. For example, the use of "this" and "that" to refer back to previously mentioned ideas could be diversified with phrases like "in addition to this," or "furthermore," to create a more varied and engaging narrative.
    • How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs more effectively. For example, when transitioning from the significance of Family Day to the specific rituals, you might say, "In addition to its emotional significance, Family Day also features several traditional rituals that highlight the importance of family bonds." This will enhance the flow of the essay and make it more cohesive.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to an even better band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of Family Day in Thailand. Words and phrases such as "bond," "respect," "ritual," and "symbol of good luck" are appropriate and relevant. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with the use of "family" and "Thai." For instance, the phrase "Family Day in Thailand" is used multiple times without variation, which limits the lexical diversity.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "family," alternatives like "relatives," "kin," or "household" could be used. Additionally, varying sentence structures and including more descriptive adjectives or adverbs (e.g., "cherished family traditions" or "joyful celebrations") would enrich the vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary correctly, but there are instances where the precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "show respect to their parents and grandparents" is clear, but the use of "show love and care" is somewhat vague and could be expressed more precisely. The term "emotional experiences" is also broad and could be better defined in the context of the essay.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim to use more specific language that conveys exact meanings. Instead of "show love and care," the writer could use "express affection and gratitude." Similarly, instead of "emotional experiences," the writer could specify "joyful reunions" or "heartwarming moments," which would provide clearer imagery and enhance the overall impact of the writing.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with no significant errors noted in the text. Words such as "government," "celebrated," and "festival" are spelled correctly, contributing positively to the overall readability of the essay.
    • How to improve: While the spelling is generally correct, the writer should continue to practice spelling by reading more widely and writing regularly. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers and proofreading can also help catch any potential errors before finalizing the essay. Additionally, focusing on commonly misspelled words in English could further enhance spelling skills.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource, the writer should focus on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy through consistent practice and revision.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures. For instance, it includes simple sentences like "Family Day in Thailand was officially established by the Thai government in 2005" and compound sentences such as "Family day is an opportunity for people to bond, show love and care for family members." However, the essay lacks more complex structures that could enhance the depth of the writing. For example, the use of subordinate clauses or varied sentence openings could provide greater complexity and sophistication.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentences that include dependent clauses, such as "Although Family Day is celebrated during the Songkran festival, its significance extends beyond mere festivities." Additionally, varying the sentence openings (e.g., starting with adverbial phrases or using participial phrases) would help to create a more engaging flow.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, but there are some punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, there are missing commas in compound sentences, such as in "Besides,People gather with their family members," where there should be a space after the comma. Additionally, the sentence "Family Day in Thailand was officially established by the Thai government in 2005 Thailand’s Family Day, held on April 14th every year, is celebrated during the Songkran festival" is a run-on sentence that could be improved with proper punctuation to separate the ideas clearly.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as comma splices and run-on sentences. Practicing the use of commas in compound and complex sentences will help clarify meaning. For instance, revising the aforementioned run-on sentence to "Family Day in Thailand was officially established by the Thai government in 2005. Thailand’s Family Day, held on April 14th every year, is celebrated during the Songkran festival," would improve readability. Additionally, using tools like grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers could help identify and correct such issues before finalizing the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

Family Day in Thailand is officially designated by the Thai government in 2005. Thailand’s Family Day, observed on April 14th every year, coincides with the Songkran festival, which marks the Thai New Year. Family Day serves as an occasion for individuals to strengthen bonds and demonstrate affection and care for family members. This day holds significant importance for Thai families as they gather to spend time together and pay homage to their parents and grandparents.

This is the most significant festival for the Thai people, typically occurring in April. Songkran is not only an occasion for people to engage in water play but also a time for family members to return home to reunite. During this festival, they honor the elderly by performing the “Rod Nam Dum Hua” ritual, which involves offering scented water to the hands of the elders to bless and pray for their health. Additionally, people gather with their family members, visit temples, and immerse Buddha statues in water as a symbol of good fortune.

Family Day in Thailand is a very special holiday as it brings emotional experiences that emphasize the bond among family members and showcases the unique beauty of Thai culture. As a Vietnamese individual, I am also impressed by this celebration.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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