Write about the following topic. Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students should be encouraged to question and offer criticisms on their teachers. Others think this will lead to a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

Write about the following topic.
Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students should be encouraged to question and offer criticisms on their teachers. Others think this will lead to a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Write at least 250 words.

It is important for students to learn and improve their knowledge. Some people think that they should ask questions to their teachers, while others think that this can cause problems in class.

If students can ask questions, they can learn more. This is because they can get clear answers from the teachers. If they do not understand something, they can ask. This is a good way to improve learning.

However, some teachers may not like to be questioned by their students. They may feel it is disrespectful and makes it difficult to teach the class. If students are not careful, they could make the class too noisy and difficult to concentrate.

In my opinion, students should not question their teachers too much. It is important to show respect to teachers. They are there to help students learn. If students want to know something, they should wait until the end of class and ask politely.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "It is important for students to learn and improve their knowledge." -> "It is crucial for students to acquire and enhance their knowledge."
   Explanation: Replacing "important" with "crucial" adds a stronger emphasis on the necessity, which is more suitable for academic writing. "Acquire and enhance" is a more precise and formal way to describe the process of learning and improving knowledge.

2. "Some people think that they should ask questions to their teachers, while others think that this can cause problems in class." -> "Some individuals believe that students should pose questions to their instructors, whereas others contend that this can lead to disruptions in the classroom."
   Explanation: "Individuals" and "instructors" are more formal than "people" and "teachers," respectively. "Pose questions" and "contend" are more precise and academically appropriate than "ask" and "think." "Disruptions in the classroom" is a more specific and formal term than "problems in class."

3. "If students can ask questions, they can learn more." -> "If students are permitted to pose questions, they can augment their learning."
   Explanation: "Permitted to pose questions" is more formal and specific than "can ask," and "augment their learning" is a more precise and academic way to describe the enhancement of knowledge.

4. "This is because they can get clear answers from the teachers." -> "This is because they can receive clear explanations from their instructors."
   Explanation: "Receive clear explanations" is more formal and precise than "get clear answers," and "instructors" is a more formal term than "teachers."

5. "If they do not understand something, they can ask." -> "If they fail to comprehend a concept, they may inquire."
   Explanation: "Fail to comprehend a concept" is more precise and formal than "do not understand something," and "may inquire" suggests a more formal and tentative approach to asking questions.

6. "This is a good way to improve learning." -> "This approach fosters improved learning."
   Explanation: "Fosters improved learning" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "is a good way to improve learning."

7. "They may feel it is disrespectful and makes it difficult to teach the class." -> "They may perceive it as disrespectful and find it challenging to instruct the class."
   Explanation: "Perceive it as" and "find it challenging to instruct" are more formal and precise than "feel it is" and "makes it difficult to teach."

8. "If students are not careful, they could make the class too noisy and difficult to concentrate." -> "If students are not cautious, they may create an environment that is too noisy and challenging to concentrate."
   Explanation: "Cautious" and "create an environment" are more formal and precise than "careful" and "make the class too noisy and difficult to concentrate."

9. "It is important to show respect to teachers." -> "It is essential to demonstrate respect to instructors."
   Explanation: "Demonstrate respect" is a more formal expression than "show respect," and "instructors" is a more formal term than "teachers."

10. "They are there to help students learn." -> "Their primary role is to facilitate student learning."
    Explanation: "Their primary role is to facilitate student learning" is a more formal and precise way to describe the purpose of teachers, aligning better with academic style.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay touches on both views regarding whether students should question their teachers. However, it lacks depth in discussing the implications of each perspective. For instance, while it mentions that questioning can enhance learning, it does not explore how this might foster critical thinking or a more engaging classroom environment. Similarly, the concerns about respect and discipline are mentioned but not elaborated upon, leaving the reader wanting a more nuanced discussion.
  • How to improve: To address all parts of the question more comprehensively, the writer should aim to provide a balanced exploration of both views. This could involve giving specific examples or scenarios where questioning has led to positive outcomes, as well as discussing potential negative consequences in more detail. Additionally, incorporating counterarguments could enrich the discussion.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that students should not question their teachers too much, emphasizing respect. However, this stance is somewhat underdeveloped. The writer states their opinion but does not consistently reinforce it throughout the essay. The initial paragraphs suggest a more supportive view of questioning, creating a contradiction in the overall message.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should clearly outline their opinion in the introduction and then reinforce it throughout the essay. This could be achieved by using transitional phrases that connect back to the main argument and by ensuring that each paragraph contributes to supporting that stance.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: Ideas in the essay are presented but lack sufficient development and support. For example, the claim that questioning helps students learn is made, but it is not backed up with examples or explanations of how this process works. The concerns about respect are mentioned but not explored in terms of their impact on the classroom environment or student-teacher relationships.
  • How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and support ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. This could involve providing examples, statistics, or anecdotes that illustrate the benefits of questioning in education and the potential drawbacks of a lack of respect. Each point should be clearly linked back to the main argument to create a cohesive essay.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the role of questioning in education. However, the treatment of the topic is superficial, and there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, particularly when discussing respect without linking it back to the broader implications for educational quality.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates to the prompt. This can be achieved by regularly referencing the main question throughout the essay and ensuring that each paragraph contributes to answering it. Additionally, creating a clear outline before writing could help in staying on topic.

Overall, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should focus on expanding their ideas, providing more detailed support, maintaining a consistent position, and ensuring that all parts of the question are thoroughly addressed.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow is somewhat weak. For instance, the transition from the benefits of questioning teachers to the potential drawbacks lacks a clear connective statement. The points made in the body paragraphs are somewhat disjointed, and the argumentation does not build upon itself effectively.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clear topic sentences for each paragraph that directly relate to the thesis. Additionally, ensure that there is a clear progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Using transitional phrases such as "On the one hand," and "Conversely," can help clarify the relationship between contrasting views.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their effectiveness is limited. The first paragraph introduces the topic, while the second and third paragraphs address the two opposing views. However, the conclusion is not distinctly separated, and the final opinion is somewhat abrupt. The lack of clear paragraphing can confuse readers about the structure of the argument.
  • How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus. Start with a topic sentence that summarizes the main idea of the paragraph. Additionally, consider adding a separate concluding paragraph that summarizes the discussion and clearly states your opinion, reinforcing the overall argument.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however" and "this is because," but the range is limited. The use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive, and there are instances where the connections between ideas are not explicitly stated, leading to a lack of clarity in the argument.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," "on the contrary," and "for instance." This will help to clarify relationships between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to enhance clarity rather than confuse the reader.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, but it lacks variety and sophistication. For instance, phrases like "learn and improve their knowledge" and "ask questions" are repetitive and do not showcase a broader lexical range. The use of simple terms like "good way" and "difficult to concentrate" indicates a reliance on common vocabulary rather than more advanced or nuanced expressions.
  • How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer could incorporate synonyms and more complex phrases. For example, instead of saying "learn and improve their knowledge," they might say "enhance their understanding and acquire new insights." Additionally, using phrases like "foster a culture of inquiry" instead of "ask questions" would demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "make the class too noisy" could be interpreted in various ways and lacks specificity. The term "disrespectful" is used correctly, but the overall argument could benefit from more precise language that clearly articulates the nuances of the debate.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on choosing words that convey their intended meaning more accurately. Instead of saying "make the class too noisy," they could use "disrupt the learning environment." This not only clarifies the point but also enhances the overall quality of the argument.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of spelling accuracy, with no glaring errors that impede understanding. Words like "important," "respect," and "teachers" are spelled correctly, indicating a solid grasp of basic spelling conventions.
  • How to improve: While spelling is generally accurate, the writer should continue to practice spelling more complex vocabulary. Engaging in regular reading and writing exercises can help reinforce correct spelling. Additionally, using tools like spell checkers or proofreading can catch any minor errors that may occur.

Overall, while the essay meets the basic requirements for lexical resource, there is significant room for improvement in terms of vocabulary range and precision. By expanding their vocabulary and focusing on more specific language, the writer can enhance the clarity and sophistication of their arguments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a limited variety of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, such as "If students can ask questions, they can learn more." While this sentence is clear, it lacks complexity. The use of conditional structures is noted, but they are not varied enough to showcase a broader grammatical range. For instance, the essay predominantly uses straightforward declarative sentences, which can lead to a monotonous reading experience.
  • How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences, such as those using relative clauses or varied conjunctions. For example, instead of saying, "If students want to know something, they should wait until the end of class," the writer could say, "Students, who are eager to understand the material better, should consider waiting until the end of class to pose their questions." This not only adds complexity but also enriches the overall flow of the essay.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy, but there are instances where punctuation and grammar could be improved. For example, the phrase "they can get clear answers from the teachers" could be simplified to "they can receive clear answers from their teachers," which is more concise. Additionally, the use of commas is minimal, leading to some run-on sentences that could benefit from clearer separation. For instance, "However, some teachers may not like to be questioned by their students" could be followed by a comma before "and" if it were to connect two independent clauses.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for punctuation errors and ensuring that sentences are not overly long or complex without proper punctuation. Practicing the use of commas in compound sentences and exploring the use of semicolons for connecting closely related ideas would be beneficial. Furthermore, reviewing subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent verb tenses throughout the essay will enhance grammatical precision.

In summary, while the essay meets the basic requirements, there is significant room for improvement in both the variety of sentence structures and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation. By diversifying sentence types and refining grammatical precision, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is crucial for students to acquire and enhance their knowledge. Some individuals believe that students should pose questions to their instructors, whereas others contend that this can lead to disruptions in the classroom.

If students are permitted to pose questions, they can augment their learning. This is because they can receive clear explanations from their instructors. If they fail to comprehend a concept, they may inquire. This approach fosters improved learning and helps clarify any misunderstandings.

However, some teachers may not appreciate being questioned by their students. They may perceive it as disrespectful and find it challenging to instruct the class effectively. If students are not cautious, they may create an environment that is too noisy and difficult to concentrate in. It is essential to demonstrate respect to instructors, as their primary role is to facilitate student learning.

In my opinion, while it is beneficial for students to ask questions, they should do so in moderation. It is important to show respect to teachers, who are there to help students learn. If students wish to inquire about something, they should consider waiting until the end of class and asking politely. This way, they can maintain a respectful atmosphere while still enhancing their understanding.