writting about causes and effects of land pollution.

First I will talk about the causes of soil poisoning currently taking place on earth. First, solid waste pollutes the land. Very little plastic waste is recycled or burned for energy. Plastic waste buried underground can take up to 1,000 years to decompose, thereby causing toxic substances to enter the soil. During the analysis of plastic waste, plastic can be generated, which changes the water-holding capacity of the soil, detects material in the soil, changes soil density and affects plant growth. . Second, industrial waste also pollutes the soil. Industrial waste containing toxic and highly toxic chemicals from factories accumulates in the soil and spreads when there is rainwater. Industrial waste reduces soil fertility and biological activity. Third, mineral exploitation activities also affect land. It changes the geological structure of the soil, losing organic carbon in the soil, hindering vegetation and losing a lot of air in the soil. Fourth, agricultural activities also pollute the soil. To increase productivity to meet food needs, people have used pesticides, causing dangerous soil pollution. From the causes of soil pollution, most of them are human activities, causing huge consequences. First, soil pollution will disrupt ecosystems, affect metabolism, destroy the optic chain, and harm predators, causing them to die and be at risk of extinction. Next, soil pollution changes the climate and causes acid rain. Soil stores carbon and soil degradation causes carbon to enter climate change. Soil pollution causes gaseous acid rain from the evaporation of ammonia, releasing sulfur dioxide from the decomposition of organic material in the soil.
In addition, soil pollution affects health and food, reduces crop yields due to toxic substances, infectious pollution, crops affecting human and animal health, and pollutants. Soil contamination causes food poisoning that can be transmitted from animals to humans or can lead to starvation when crops are not available. Along with that, soil pollution causes nuisance and desertification, toxic chemicals from fertilizers and pesticides that come into contact with soil will destroy soil components, be eroded by water, and become unsuitable. Air and soil pollution due to human activities causes degraded lands to become desertified over long periods of time. Finally, soil pollution still affects population mobility as many people have to migrate elsewhere, reducing the ability to implement food planning but affecting the economy. Since then, we have found out the huge consequences of soil pollution at the same time for everyone who needs to join hands to protect the soil.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"First I will talk about" -> "First, I will discuss"
Explanation: Replacing "talk about" with "discuss" maintains formality and clarity in academic writing.
"First, solid waste pollutes the land" -> "Initially, solid waste contaminates the land"
Explanation: "Pollutes" is a common term; however, "contaminates" is more formal and precise in academic writing.
"Very little plastic waste" -> "A minimal amount of plastic waste"
Explanation: "Very little" is somewhat informal; "minimal amount" is a more precise and formal phrase.
"Plastic waste buried underground" -> "Subsurface plastic waste"
Explanation: "Buried underground" can be replaced with "subsurface" for a more concise and technical term in academic writing.
"can take up to 1,000 years to decompose" -> "may require up to 1,000 years for decomposition"
Explanation: "Take up to" can be substituted with "may require" for a more formal tone, and "decomposition" is a more precise term than "decompose."
"During the analysis of plastic waste, plastic can be generated" -> "In the degradation of plastic waste, byproducts are produced"
Explanation: "Analysis" implies examination rather than degradation; "byproducts" is a more accurate term for what is generated during decomposition.
"affects plant growth" -> "impacts plant growth"
Explanation: "Affects" is a common verb, but "impacts" is more formal and precise in academic writing.
"Industrial waste containing toxic and highly toxic chemicals" -> "Industrial waste comprising hazardous and highly toxic substances"
Explanation: "Containing" can be replaced with "comprising" for a more formal tone, and "chemicals" can be substituted with "substances" for precision.
"accumulates in the soil and spreads when there is rainwater" -> "accumulates in the soil and disperses during rainfall"
Explanation: "Spreads when there is rainwater" can be replaced with "disperses during rainfall" for a more formal and accurate description.
"Third, mineral exploitation activities also affect land" -> "Thirdly, mineral extraction activities impact the land"
Explanation: "Affect land" can be replaced with "impact the land" for a more formal and specific expression.
"losing organic carbon in the soil" -> "depletion of organic carbon in the soil"
Explanation: "Losing" is less formal; "depletion" is a more precise term in academic writing.
"Fourth, agricultural activities also pollute the soil" -> "Fourthly, agricultural practices contribute to soil pollution"
Explanation: Replacing "pollute" with "contribute to soil pollution" provides a more nuanced and academic description.
"most of them are human activities" -> "the majority of which are anthropogenic activities"
Explanation: "Human activities" can be replaced with "anthropogenic activities" for a more scientific and formal term.
"soil pollution will disrupt ecosystems" -> "soil pollution disrupts ecosystems"
Explanation: Using the present tense "disrupts" instead of "will disrupt" maintains consistency and immediacy in academic writing.
"destroy the optic chain" -> "disrupt the food chain"
Explanation: "Optic chain" is incorrect; "food chain" is the correct term to describe the ecological relationship between organisms.
"acid rain" -> "acidic precipitation"
Explanation: "Acid rain" is a colloquial term; "acidic precipitation" is more formal and precise.
"Soil stores carbon and soil degradation causes carbon to enter climate change." -> "Soil serves as a carbon sink, and its degradation releases carbon, contributing to climate change."
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and formality while using "carbon sink" and "contributes to climate change" for precision.
"Soil pollution causes gaseous acid rain from the evaporation of ammonia" -> "Soil pollution contributes to the formation of gaseous acid rain through ammonia evaporation"
Explanation: Restructuring for clarity and using "contributes to" instead of "causes" for precision.
"In addition, soil pollution affects health and food" -> "Furthermore, soil pollution impacts human health and food security"
Explanation: "Affects" is replaced with "impacts" for formality, and "food security" is a more precise term than "food."
"Along with that" -> "Additionally"
Explanation: "Along with that" is colloquial; "Additionally" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"toxic chemicals from fertilizers and pesticides" -> "harmful compounds from fertilizers and pesticides"
Explanation: "Toxic" is replaced with "harmful" for variety and clarity, and "compounds" is a more precise term than "chemicals."
"be eroded by water" -> "erode through water runoff"
Explanation: "Be eroded by water" is passive; "erode through water runoff" is more active and descriptive.
"Air and soil pollution due to human activities" -> "Human-induced air and soil pollution"
Explanation: "Due to" is replaced with "induced" for conciseness and clarity.
"degraded lands to become desertified" -> "degraded lands undergo desertification"
Explanation: Restructuring for clarity and using "undergo desertification" for precision.
"we have found out" -> "we have learned"
Explanation: "Found out" is more colloquial; "learned" is a more formal term for acquiring knowledge.
"at the same time for everyone who needs to join hands" -> "simultaneously, necessitating collective action"
Explanation: "For everyone who needs to join hands" is unclear and informal; "simultaneously, necessitating collective action" provides a clearer and more formal expression of the idea.
"to protect the soil" -> "to preserve soil integrity"
Explanation: "Protect" is replaced with "preserve" for variety, and "soil integrity" is a more formal term for the health and quality of soil.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both the causes and effects of land pollution. It identifies various causes such as solid waste, industrial waste, mineral exploitation, and agricultural activities. Additionally, it outlines the effects of soil pollution on ecosystems, climate, health, food, nuisance, desertification, and population mobility.
- How to improve: While the essay covers the main aspects of the prompt, it could benefit from a more structured approach. Organizing the causes and effects into distinct paragraphs would enhance clarity and coherence. Furthermore, providing specific examples or data to support each point would strengthen the analysis and make the essay more persuasive.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position on the detrimental effects of soil pollution caused by human activities. It consistently emphasizes the need for collective action to protect the soil.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the essay could explicitly state the author’s stance in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. This would reinforce the central argument and leave a stronger impression on the reader.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the causes and effects of soil pollution but lacks in-depth analysis and elaboration. While it mentions various factors contributing to soil pollution and its consequences, it could delve deeper into each aspect.
- How to improve: To extend and support ideas, the essay could include examples, statistics, case studies, or expert opinions. Providing specific instances of soil pollution incidents or detailing the impact on specific ecosystems or regions would add depth to the discussion and make the arguments more compelling.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by addressing causes and effects of land pollution. However, there are moments where the discussion slightly deviates, such as the brief mention of climate change and desertification without a direct link to soil pollution.
- How to improve: To ensure coherence and relevance, the essay should maintain a tighter focus on the direct causes and effects of soil pollution. Avoiding tangential topics or ensuring they are explicitly connected to soil pollution would strengthen the essay’s coherence and effectiveness.

Overall, while the essay provides a comprehensive overview of the causes and effects of soil pollution, there is room for improvement in organization, depth of analysis, clarity of position, and maintaining focus on the topic. By implementing the suggested improvements, the essay could achieve a higher band score in Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair attempt at organizing information logically. It begins by outlining the causes of soil pollution and then transitions to discussing its effects, maintaining a clear separation between these two themes. Each cause and effect is introduced with a new sentence, typically starting with "First," "Second," etc., which helps in separating the ideas. However, the logical flow is somewhat disrupted by repetitive phrasing and occasional grammatical errors, which can cause confusion. The essay could benefit from clearer transitions and more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, the writer could consider using a variety of transitional phrases beyond just numbering the points. Effective transitions such as "Furthermore," "Additionally," "As a consequence," and "Moreover" can provide a smoother progression between points. Additionally, integrating introductory or concluding sentences that summarize the main ideas of each paragraph could help in reinforcing the logical structure and making the progression of arguments more apparent.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate ideas, but these are not always effectively structured. Each paragraph tackles multiple ideas, which can make them seem crowded or underdeveloped. For example, the second paragraph discusses the effects of soil pollution but merges several distinct impacts into a single, lengthy block of text. This can overwhelm the reader and obscure key information.
- How to improve: Paragraphing could be improved by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea or theme. This would involve splitting the large second paragraph into several smaller ones, each addressing a specific effect of soil pollution. Additionally, the first sentence of each paragraph should ideally serve as a topic sentence, clearly stating the main idea that will be developed in the paragraph. This practice helps in enhancing the effectiveness and clarity of the essay’s structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a basic range of cohesive devices, such as enumerative ("First," "Second," "Third," "Finally"), which aids in structuring the text and linking ideas. However, the reliance on these basic devices can be repetitive and may not fully support a sophisticated argumentative structure. The essay lacks more complex cohesive devices that could enhance the connections between ideas, such as cause-and-effect connectors, concessive phrases, or comparisons.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases tailored to the context of their arguments. For example, using "Consequently," "Due to," or "As a result" could strengthen the cause-and-effect relationships. Similarly, integrating phrases like "Despite this," "Nevertheless," or "On the other hand" could introduce contrast where appropriate, adding depth to the analysis. Practicing with varied sentence structures and experimenting with different types of cohesive devices can significantly enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable effort in utilizing a diverse range of vocabulary to discuss the causes and effects of land pollution. There is evidence of varied vocabulary choices such as "solid waste," "industrial waste," "mineral exploitation," "ecosystems," "acid rain," "desertification," and "population mobility." These terms contribute to the breadth of vocabulary employed in addressing the topic.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a broad lexical repertoire, there are instances where more precise or contextually fitting vocabulary could enhance clarity and sophistication. For instance, instead of repeatedly using the term "soil pollution," diversifying with synonyms such as "soil contamination" or "land degradation" can add nuance. Additionally, incorporating domain-specific terminology related to pollution and environmental science could elevate the discourse further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with moderate precision, effectively conveying the intended meanings. For example, terms like "toxic substances," "organic carbon," and "biological activity" accurately depict the concepts discussed. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise or contextually fitting. For instance, the term "optic chain" is unclear and might require clarification or replacement for better comprehension.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, it is advisable to ensure that each term used aligns precisely with the intended concept. In cases where terminology might be ambiguous or unfamiliar to the reader, providing brief explanations or using more common synonyms can aid in clarity and comprehension. Additionally, refining vocabulary choices through thorough research into the topic can facilitate more precise expression.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits generally accurate spelling throughout its content. Most words are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall readability of the text. However, there are occasional instances of misspellings and typographical errors, such as "writting" instead of "writing," "optic chain" possibly intended as "food chain," and "desertified" instead of "desertification."
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, thorough proofreading and spell-checking processes are recommended before finalizing the essay. Additionally, paying close attention to common problem areas, such as homophones and irregular spellings, can help minimize errors. Engaging in regular writing practice and consulting reputable spelling resources can also contribute to improving spelling proficiency over time.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of vocabulary and spelling, refining precision and accuracy can further elevate the quality of expression and enhance reader comprehension. Incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and maintaining correct spelling contribute to the effectiveness and professionalism of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt at incorporating various sentence structures. Simple, compound, and complex sentences are utilized throughout the text. Examples include simple sentences such as "First, solid waste pollutes the land," compound sentences like "Industrial waste reduces soil fertility and biological activity," and complex sentences such as "Soil pollution causes gaseous acid rain from the evaporation of ammonia, releasing sulfur dioxide from the decomposition of organic material in the soil."
- How to improve: While the essay displays a reasonable variety of sentence structures, there is room for enhancement. To enrich the writing further, consider integrating more complex structures, such as compound-complex sentences or sentences with introductory phrases or clauses. Additionally, varying sentence lengths can add rhythm and flow to the essay, engaging the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a satisfactory level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are instances where errors in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and verb tense consistency are present. For instance, "First I will talk about the causes of soil poisoning currently taking place on earth" could be improved to "First, I will discuss the causes of soil pollution currently affecting the Earth." Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences and incorrect punctuation usage in phrases like "pollutes the land. Very little plastic waste."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it’s essential to review subject-verb agreement rules and ensure consistency in verb tenses throughout the essay. Proofreading for punctuation errors, particularly in compound sentences, can help maintain clarity and coherence. Utilizing tools like grammar checkers or seeking feedback from peers can assist in identifying and correcting these errors effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

First, I will discuss the causes of soil pollution currently affecting our planet. Initially, solid waste contaminates the land. A minimal amount of plastic waste undergoes recycling or energy conversion through burning. Subsurface plastic waste may require up to 1,000 years for decomposition, thereby releasing toxic substances into the soil. During the degradation of plastic waste, byproducts are produced, altering the soil’s water-holding capacity, detecting materials within the soil, altering soil density, and impacting plant growth.

Secondly, industrial waste comprising hazardous and highly toxic substances from factories also contributes to soil pollution. This waste accumulates in the soil and disperses during rainfall, reducing soil fertility and biological activity.

Thirdly, mineral extraction activities impact the land by altering its geological structure, depleting organic carbon in the soil, hindering vegetation, and causing soil compaction.

Fourthly, agricultural practices contribute significantly to soil pollution. To meet the demand for food production, pesticides are extensively used, leading to hazardous soil contamination. The majority of these causes are anthropogenic activities, resulting in severe consequences.

Soil pollution disrupts ecosystems, affecting metabolism, disrupting the food chain, and endangering predators, thus threatening their survival. Moreover, soil pollution alters the climate, leading to the formation of acid rain. Soil, acting as a carbon sink, releases carbon upon degradation, thereby contributing to climate change. Soil pollution also contributes to the formation of gaseous acid rain through ammonia evaporation and the release of sulfur dioxide from organic material decomposition in the soil.

Furthermore, soil pollution impacts human health and food security. Harmful compounds from fertilizers and pesticides erode through water runoff, contaminating crops and posing risks to human and animal health. Soil contamination can lead to food poisoning and starvation due to crop failure. Additionally, soil pollution contributes to nuisance and desertification, rendering land unsuitable for cultivation over time.

Human-induced air and soil pollution result in degraded lands undergoing desertification, leading to population displacement and hindering food planning and economic stability. Therefore, collective action is imperative to preserve soil integrity and mitigate the adverse effects of soil pollution.