fbpx

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Scientists predict that in the near future, car will be driven by computers, not people? Why? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Scientists predict that in the near future, car will be driven by computers, not people? Why? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words

We live in an age with the accelerating development of technology so self-driving car will be forecasted to be overtake citizen driving the near future by experts. This trend happens due to some reasons and I believe that this trend on have both advantages and disadvantage effects, especially merits.
On the one hand, there are some drawbacks about the development of this trend. Firstly, it attribute to the over-dependence on technology. People who depend on technology will take shape the number of harmful personalities such as lazy, dependence. Secondly, without people, some job relate to car can be disappeared, lead to unemployment issues with a part of people. Furthermore, not everyone can own a driverless automobile. Future self-driving cars are expected to be extremely expensive due to the high cost of designing manufacturing innovate and complex equipment.
On the other hand, there are several reasons as to why I believe that this invention bring more merits than expected. First, auto mobiles are more convenient and safe. According to Vietnamese data in 2025, there will be over 22,000 road accidents with a significant number of deaths. This is the result of human error. Therefore, the fast growth of autonomous driving can be decreased this issuer. Second, using self-driving car will not expect too much about driving level or degree. At the same time, people may not have to pay a significant amount of money to study and gain a driver's license.
In conclusion, the development of automobile can become more and more popular in the future. Despite being negative impacts, the merits of self-driving car always overtake. I am convinced that with the popularity of this trend, a new thriving economy will begin.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "We live in an age with the accelerating development of technology so self-driving car will be forecasted to be overtake citizen driving the near future by experts." -> "We are currently living in an era of rapidly advancing technology, which is expected to lead to the widespread adoption of self-driving cars by citizens in the near future, as predicted by experts."
    Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkwardly phrased. The revised version corrects these issues and uses more formal language suitable for academic writing.

  2. "This trend happens due to some reasons and I believe that this trend on have both advantages and disadvantage effects, especially merits." -> "This trend arises from several factors and I contend that it has both advantages and disadvantages, particularly merits."
    Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and uses informal language. The revision corrects these issues and employs more precise and formal vocabulary.

  3. "it attribute to the over-dependence on technology." -> "it is attributed to over-reliance on technology."
    Explanation: The original phrase "it attribute" is grammatically incorrect. The suggested change corrects this and uses "over-reliance" which is a more precise term in this context.

  4. "People who depend on technology will take shape the number of harmful personalities such as lazy, dependence." -> "Individuals who rely on technology may develop undesirable traits such as laziness and dependence."
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and unclear. The revision clarifies the meaning and uses more precise and formal language.

  5. "some job relate to car can be disappeared" -> "some jobs related to the automotive industry may disappear"
    Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and vague. The suggested change corrects these issues and uses more formal language.

  6. "lead to unemployment issues with a part of people." -> "may lead to unemployment issues affecting certain individuals."
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and unclear. The revision clarifies the meaning and uses more formal language.

  7. "Future self-driving cars are expected to be extremely expensive due to the high cost of designing manufacturing innovate and complex equipment." -> "Future self-driving cars are expected to be extremely expensive due to the high costs of designing, manufacturing, and equipping them with innovative and complex technology."
    Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. The revision corrects these issues and provides a clearer, more formal explanation.

  8. "this invention bring more merits than expected." -> "this innovation offers more benefits than anticipated."
    Explanation: "bring" is incorrect in this context; "offers" is the correct verb. Also, "merits" is less common in this context; "benefits" is more appropriate.

  9. "auto mobiles are more convenient and safe." -> "autonomous vehicles are more convenient and safer."
    Explanation: "auto mobiles" is an informal term; "autonomous vehicles" is more precise and formal. Also, "safe" should be "safer" to agree with the plural subject.

  10. "using self-driving car will not expect too much about driving level or degree." -> "the use of self-driving cars does not require a high level of driving proficiency or education."
    Explanation: The original sentence is awkward and unclear. The revision clarifies the meaning and uses more formal language.

  11. "people may not have to pay a significant amount of money to study and gain a driver’s license." -> "individuals may not need to invest significant resources in obtaining a driver’s license."
    Explanation: "people" is too informal; "individuals" is more appropriate. Also, "study and gain" is redundant; "invest significant resources in obtaining" is more precise and formal.

  12. "the development of automobile can become more and more popular in the future." -> "the development of automobiles is likely to become increasingly popular in the future."
    Explanation: "can become more and more popular" is informal and vague; "is likely to become increasingly popular" is more precise and formal.

  13. "the merits of self-driving car always overtake." -> "the benefits of self-driving cars always outweigh the drawbacks."
    Explanation: "overtake" is incorrect in this context; "outweigh" is the correct term for comparing advantages and disadvantages. Also, "self-driving car" should be plural to match "benefits."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the reasons for the predicted rise of self-driving cars and evaluating whether this trend is positive or negative. The author mentions drawbacks such as over-dependence on technology and potential job losses, as well as advantages like increased safety and convenience. However, the explanation of why self-driving cars are predicted to become prevalent is somewhat vague and lacks depth. For instance, the mention of "accelerating development of technology" could be elaborated with specific examples or trends in technology that support this prediction.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should provide more detailed explanations of the reasons behind the shift towards self-driving cars. Incorporating specific technological advancements, societal trends, or statistics that illustrate the growing reliance on automation could strengthen the argument.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that self-driving cars have more merits than drawbacks. However, the phrasing is occasionally confusing, such as "this trend on have both advantages and disadvantage effects," which detracts from the clarity of the argument. The conclusion reiterates the belief in the positive aspects of self-driving cars, but the transition between discussing drawbacks and advantages could be smoother.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the author should ensure that each paragraph logically flows into the next. Using clear topic sentences and transitional phrases can help clarify the stance. Additionally, avoiding awkward phrasing will enhance the overall clarity of the position.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the advantages and disadvantages of self-driving cars. However, some points lack sufficient support. For example, the claim that self-driving cars will reduce road accidents due to human error is supported by a statistic, but the connection could be made stronger by discussing how automation specifically addresses these errors. The mention of potential job losses is valid but could benefit from examples of specific jobs that may be affected.
    • How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the author should aim to provide more detailed examples and evidence for each point made. This could include referencing studies, expert opinions, or real-world examples of technology reducing accidents or affecting employment. Expanding on each point will help to substantiate the claims made.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the implications of self-driving cars. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, such as when discussing the high cost of self-driving cars without tying it back to the overall argument about their societal impact. The phrase "not everyone can own a driverless automobile" could be integrated more effectively into the discussion of accessibility and societal implications.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central argument of whether the development of self-driving cars is positive or negative. Each paragraph should reinforce the main thesis, and any tangential points should be carefully linked to the overall discussion.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, there are areas for improvement in clarity, depth of argument, and coherence. By providing more detailed support for claims and ensuring that all points are clearly connected to the central argument, the author can enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both the drawbacks and advantages of self-driving cars, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing drawbacks to advantages is somewhat abrupt. The introduction mentions both sides but does not clearly outline the structure of the essay, which could leave the reader uncertain about what to expect.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should include a brief outline of the main points in the introduction. For example, stating that the essay will first discuss the drawbacks and then the advantages would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "Conversely" or "On the contrary" when shifting from drawbacks to advantages would help signal the change in focus.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs, with separate sections for drawbacks and advantages. However, the paragraphs themselves could be more clearly defined. For example, the first paragraph discussing drawbacks contains multiple ideas that could be better organized into distinct points. The second paragraph on advantages also mixes different aspects of the argument without clear separation.
    • How to improve: Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea. The writer could separate the points about over-dependence on technology, job loss, and the cost of self-driving cars into distinct paragraphs. This would not only enhance clarity but also allow for more in-depth exploration of each point. Additionally, starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence would help to establish the main idea immediately.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "On the one hand," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences lack clear connections, making the flow less smooth. For instance, phrases like "this issuer" are unclear and detract from the overall cohesion of the text.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Moreover," "In addition," "However," and "For instance." This would help to create smoother transitions between ideas and enhance the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, ensuring that pronouns and references are clear will improve cohesion; for example, replacing "this issuer" with "this issue" would clarify the meaning.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices could elevate the score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary related to the topic of self-driving cars. Phrases such as "accelerating development of technology," "over-dependence on technology," and "autonomous driving" show an effort to incorporate relevant terms. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of repetition (e.g., using "technology" multiple times without synonyms). Additionally, some phrases are awkwardly constructed, such as "forecasted to be overtake," which detracts from the overall fluency.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should explore synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "technology," alternatives like "innovation" or "advancements" could be employed. Additionally, varying sentence structures and incorporating more complex vocabulary can improve the overall richness of the essay.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that affect clarity. For example, "this trend on have both advantages and disadvantage effects" is grammatically incorrect and confusing. The phrase "take shape the number of harmful personalities" is also unclear; it would be better expressed as "develop harmful traits." Moreover, "disappeared" should be "disappear" to maintain present tense consistency.
    • How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing each sentence for clarity and correctness. For instance, replacing vague terms with more specific ones (e.g., using "negative traits" instead of "harmful personalities") can enhance precision. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy will help ensure that vocabulary is used correctly.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from its overall quality. Words such as "auto mobiles" should be written as "automobiles," and "dependence" is misspelled as "dependance." Additionally, "issuer" should be "issue," and "disadvantage effects" should be "disadvantageous effects." These errors indicate a need for greater attention to detail in spelling.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Keeping a list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can also be beneficial. Furthermore, taking the time to review the essay before submission will help catch and correct these errors.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and attempts to use relevant vocabulary, there are significant areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt at using varied sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("We live in an age with the accelerating development of technology") and compound sentences ("On the one hand, there are some drawbacks about the development of this trend"). However, the overall range is limited, with many sentences following a similar structure, which reduces the overall effectiveness and engagement of the writing. For instance, the phrase "this trend happens due to some reasons" is vague and lacks complexity.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex and compound-complex sentences. For example, instead of "People who depend on technology will take shape the number of harmful personalities such as lazy, dependence," a more complex structure could be: "As people increasingly rely on technology, they may develop harmful traits such as laziness and dependency." Additionally, using introductory clauses or phrases can add variety, such as "While some argue that self-driving cars will lead to unemployment, others believe they will enhance safety."
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "self-driving car will be forecasted to be overtake citizen driving the near future" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "self-driving cars are predicted to overtake human-driven cars in the near future." Additionally, phrases like "this trend on have both advantages and disadvantage effects" contain errors in verb form and plurality. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with commas, which are often missing before conjunctions in compound sentences.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. For instance, "self-driving car" should be "self-driving cars" to match the plural context. Practicing sentence restructuring and proofreading for common grammatical mistakes can also be beneficial. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will enhance clarity. For example, "Furthermore, not everyone can own a driverless automobile" could be improved by ensuring that the preceding clause is correctly punctuated.

In summary, to raise the band score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy, the writer should work on diversifying sentence structures and ensuring grammatical and punctuation accuracy. Regular practice, along with targeted feedback on specific errors, will help in making significant improvements.

Bài sửa mẫu

We live in an age of rapidly advancing technology, so self-driving cars are forecasted to overtake citizen driving in the near future, according to experts. This trend arises from several reasons, and I believe that it has both advantages and disadvantages, particularly merits.

On the one hand, there are some drawbacks to the development of this trend. Firstly, it is attributed to over-dependence on technology. People who depend on technology may develop undesirable traits such as laziness and dependence. Secondly, without human drivers, some jobs related to cars may disappear, leading to unemployment issues affecting certain individuals. Furthermore, not everyone can own a driverless automobile. Future self-driving cars are expected to be extremely expensive due to the high costs of designing, manufacturing, and equipping them with innovative and complex technology.

On the other hand, there are several reasons why I believe that this invention brings more merits than expected. First, autonomous vehicles are more convenient and safer. According to Vietnamese data, in 2025, there will be over 22,000 road accidents with a significant number of deaths. This is the result of human error. Therefore, the fast growth of autonomous driving can decrease this issue. Second, using self-driving cars does not require a high level of driving proficiency or education. At the same time, individuals may not need to invest significant resources in obtaining a driver’s license.

In conclusion, the development of automobiles is likely to become increasingly popular in the future. Despite the negative impacts, the benefits of self-driving cars always outweigh the drawbacks. I am convinced that with the popularity of this trend, a new thriving economy will begin.

Bài viết liên quan

IELTS Writify

Chấm IELTS Writing Free x GPT

Lưu ý

Sắp bảo trì server

Để đảm bảo tính ổn định của web, web sẽ thực hiện backup dữ liệu hàng ngày từ 3h-3h30 sáng

Rất mong quý thầy cô và học viên thông cảm vì bất tiện này