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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

People have differing views about the optimal method to tackle the surrounding's challenging is to ascent the price of fuel. Some people believe that it is a good idea. While others claim that this action will bring a slight success. From my perspective, I maintain that there is still have better approach.

On the one hand, increasing the price of fuel has an impact on minimizing pollution such as air quality degradation or sound pollution. This is happening because when the government decides to raise the cost of fuel, citizens will have varying concerns about purchasing the vehicles. Due to this novel policy, residents will choose to commute by public transport and avoid driving a car. As a result, the quality of air will be improved, and less sound pollution from the traffic.

On the other hand, dwellers will feel that increasing the cost of this resource will bring a lot of disruptions. The main reason is that the income of residents still remains, but some necessities for their lives are increased, which makes them feel unfair or predispose to a protest. Furthermore, there is a wide variety of methods that can be used to minimize contamination. For instance, the policies can encourage people to travel by public transport by decreasing the fee of this mean.

In a nutshell, above the many reasons I mentioned, I firmly believe that raising the cost of fuel is not effective, and there is still more way better than this action.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "People have differing views about the optimal method to tackle the surrounding’s challenging is to ascent the price of fuel."
    -> "People hold varying opinions on the most effective approach to address the challenges in the environment, with some advocating for an increase in the price of fuel."
    Explanation: Replacing "People have differing views about the optimal method to tackle the surrounding’s challenging is to ascent the price of fuel" with a more structured and formal expression enhances clarity and academic tone.

  2. "While others claim that this action will bring a slight success."
    -> "While others argue that this measure would yield limited success."
    Explanation: Substituting "this action will bring a slight success" with "this measure would yield limited success" provides a more precise and nuanced description, aligning with formal language conventions.

  3. "From my perspective, I maintain that there is still have better approach."
    -> "In my perspective, I contend that there is a more effective approach."
    Explanation: Replacing "From my perspective, I maintain that there is still have better approach" with "In my perspective, I contend that there is a more effective approach" improves the sentence structure and introduces a more formal expression of the author’s viewpoint.

  4. "On the one hand, increasing the price of fuel has an impact on minimizing pollution such as air quality degradation or sound pollution."
    -> "On one hand, elevating the price of fuel contributes to the mitigation of pollution, encompassing issues like air quality degradation and sound pollution."
    Explanation: Adjusting "minimizing pollution such as air quality degradation or sound pollution" to "mitigation of pollution, encompassing issues like air quality degradation and sound pollution" adds precision and formality to the statement.

  5. "This is happening because when the government decides to raise the cost of fuel, citizens will have varying concerns about purchasing the vehicles."
    -> "This occurs because when the government opts to increase the cost of fuel, citizens develop diverse concerns regarding vehicle purchases."
    Explanation: Replacing "This is happening because" with "This occurs because" and restructuring the latter part of the sentence enhances clarity and formality.

  6. "Due to this novel policy, residents will choose to commute by public transport and avoid driving a car."
    -> "Owing to this new policy, residents will opt for public transport for their commute, steering away from personal vehicle usage."
    Explanation: Substituting "novel" with "new" and rephrasing the latter part of the sentence improves precision and maintains a formal tone.

  7. "Dwellers will feel that increasing the cost of this resource will bring a lot of disruptions."
    -> "Residents may perceive that escalating the cost of this resource will result in considerable disruptions."
    Explanation: Replacing "Dwellers will feel that" with "Residents may perceive that" and using "escalating" instead of "increasing" enhances the formality and precision of the sentence.

  8. "Furthermore, there is a wide variety of methods that can be used to minimize contamination."
    -> "Furthermore, a diverse array of methods exists to minimize contamination."
    Explanation: Simplifying and rephrasing the sentence to "Furthermore, a diverse array of methods exists to minimize contamination" maintains formality and improves clarity.

  9. "For instance, the policies can encourage people to travel by public transport by decreasing the fee of this mean."
    -> "For instance, policies could incentivize public transportation usage by reducing the fares for this mode of transport."
    Explanation: Replacing "the policies can" with "policies could," and changing "decreasing the fee of this mean" to "reducing the fares for this mode of transport" results in a more precise and formal expression.

  10. "Above the many reasons I mentioned, I firmly believe that raising the cost of fuel is not effective, and there is still more way better than this action."
    -> "Considering the various reasons I have mentioned, I firmly believe that increasing the cost of fuel is not an effective measure, and there are more viable alternatives."
    Explanation: Reframing "Above the many reasons I mentioned" to "Considering the various reasons I have mentioned" and rephrasing "there is still more way better than this action" to "there are more viable alternatives" improves the formality and clarity of the concluding statement.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the question by presenting arguments both in favor and against the idea of increasing the cost of fuel. However, the analysis lacks depth, and there is a need for more comprehensive exploration of the implications of the proposed solution. For example, the essay briefly mentions the impact on pollution but fails to delve into other potential consequences, such as economic effects or alternative solutions.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should provide a more detailed examination of the effects of increasing fuel prices, considering various aspects like economic implications, alternative solutions, and potential benefits and drawbacks for society.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay struggles to maintain a clear and consistent stance. While it leans towards disagreeing with the idea of increasing fuel costs, the position is not explicitly stated until the conclusion. Additionally, there is a lack of strong supporting arguments to reinforce this position throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity, the author should explicitly state their position in the introduction and reinforce it consistently throughout the essay. Clear, specific examples and evidence should be provided to strengthen the argument against increasing fuel costs.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks in-depth development and support. For instance, the impact on pollution is briefly mentioned, but there is a lack of specific examples or evidence to illustrate the point. The ideas presented need to be extended and substantiated for a more convincing argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance the overall quality, the author should elaborate on each idea by providing specific examples, statistics, or real-world instances. This will contribute to a more comprehensive and well-supported argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but could benefit from a more focused discussion. There are instances where the argument becomes vague or strays from the central theme, such as the mention of residents feeling disruptions without further clarification.
    • How to improve: To maintain a sharper focus, the author should ensure that each point made directly relates to the topic of increasing the cost of fuel. Unnecessary details or tangential arguments should be avoided to strengthen the essay’s coherence and relevance.

In conclusion, while the essay addresses the prompt, it would benefit from more depth, a clearer stance, better-developed ideas, and a sharper focus on the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 4

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization. It begins with an introduction stating the two opposing views but lacks clarity in presenting a clear stance. The body paragraphs present arguments both in favor and against the idea of increasing the cost of fuel, but the overall progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed. The conclusion restates the author’s position but lacks a summary of key points.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the essay should have a clear and focused thesis statement in the introduction, providing a roadmap for the reader. Each body paragraph should have a clear central idea, and there should be a smooth transition between paragraphs. A more structured conclusion summarizing the main arguments and restating the thesis would improve coherence.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into three paragraphs: introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the body paragraph is lengthy and covers both supporting and opposing arguments without a clear separation. This affects the overall effectiveness of paragraphing.
    • How to improve: Consider breaking the body paragraph into two distinct paragraphs – one for arguments in favor and another for arguments against. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and supporting details. This will improve the readability and organization of ideas.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a variety of cohesive devices. While there is some use of transitional phrases (e.g., "on the one hand," "on the other hand"), their application is limited. Additionally, there is a lack of reference words to connect ideas within sentences and paragraphs.
    • How to improve: Increase the use of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, transitional words, and reference words to create a smoother flow of ideas. For instance, use words like "furthermore," "however," or "consequently" to show relationships between sentences. Ensure that there is a clear link between ideas throughout the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic level of coherence and cohesion, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices would enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of communication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a moderate range of vocabulary, incorporating words such as "disruptions," "novel policy," and "contamination." However, there is room for improvement as the vocabulary lacks diversity, and some expressions are used in a repetitive manner, such as "raising the cost of fuel" being repeated throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of vocabulary, consider exploring synonyms and alternative expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "raising the cost of fuel," explore phrases like "escalating fuel prices" or "increasing fuel tariffs" to add richness to your language.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay tends to use vocabulary in a somewhat imprecise manner. For instance, the phrase "the surrounding’s challenging" is unclear, and the use of "success" is too vague. Additionally, the expression "some necessities for their lives are increased" could be more precisely stated.
    • How to improve: Aim for clarity and precision by specifying the challenges in the environment and clearly articulating the impact of increased costs on residents’ necessities. For instance, instead of saying "some necessities for their lives are increased," specify which necessities are impacted, such as "basic goods and services becoming more expensive."
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "ascent" instead of "increase," "surrounding’s" instead of "surroundings," and "mean" instead of "means." These errors, while not overwhelming, affect the overall spelling accuracy.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, proofread your essay carefully. Additionally, consider utilizing spell-check tools to catch common mistakes. Developing a habit of reviewing and correcting spelling errors will contribute to a more polished final product.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 4

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks variety in sentence structures. There is a consistent reliance on simple sentence structures, resulting in a monotonous and less sophisticated expression of ideas. For instance, the use of basic sentence structures like "People have differing views," "On the one hand," and "On the other hand" is repetitive and limits the overall grammatical range.
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range, incorporate a mix of sentence structures, including compound and complex sentences. For example, combine related ideas using conjunctions and subordinating clauses. This will contribute to a more varied and dynamic expression of thoughts. Additionally, consider using rhetorical devices such as parallelism or inversion to add complexity and nuance to the writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies that affect its overall coherence. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as "there is still have better approach," and punctuation errors like missing commas in sentences. These errors hinder the clarity and precision of the essay.
    • How to improve: Focus on fundamental grammar rules, including subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and proper punctuation usage. Proofread the essay carefully to identify and correct errors. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to improve accuracy. Take time to revise and edit the essay to ensure a polished and error-free final draft.

In summary, to raise the band score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy, work on incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures and pay careful attention to grammar and punctuation rules. Proofreading and revising are essential steps in refining the essay and ensuring a higher level of grammatical precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

People hold varying opinions on the most effective approach to address the challenges in the environment, with some advocating for an increase in the price of fuel. While others argue that this measure would yield limited success. In my perspective, I contend that there is a more effective approach.

On one hand, elevating the price of fuel contributes to the mitigation of pollution, encompassing issues like air quality degradation and sound pollution. This occurs because when the government opts to increase the cost of fuel, citizens develop diverse concerns regarding vehicle purchases. Owing to this new policy, residents will opt for public transport for their commute, steering away from personal vehicle usage. Residents may perceive that escalating the cost of this resource will result in considerable disruptions.

Furthermore, a diverse array of methods exists to minimize contamination. For instance, policies could incentivize public transportation usage by reducing the fares for this mode of transport. Considering the various reasons I have mentioned, I firmly believe that increasing the cost of fuel is not an effective measure, and there are more viable alternatives.

In conclusion, people have differing views about the optimal method to tackle the surrounding’s challenging is to ascent the price of fuel. Some people believe that it is a good idea, while others claim that this action will bring slight success. From my perspective, I maintain that there is still a better approach.

On the one hand, increasing the price of fuel has an impact on minimizing pollution, such as air quality degradation or sound pollution. This is happening because when the government decides to raise the cost of fuel, citizens will have varying concerns about purchasing vehicles. Due to this novel policy, residents will choose to commute by public transport and avoid driving a car. As a result, the quality of air will be improved, and less sound pollution from the traffic.

On the other hand, dwellers will feel that increasing the cost of this resource will bring a lot of disruptions. The main reason is that the income of residents still remains, but some necessities for their lives are increased, which makes them feel unfair or predispose to a protest. Furthermore, there is a wide variety of methods that can be used to minimize contamination. For instance, the policies can encourage people to travel by public transport by decreasing the fee of this mean.

In a nutshell, above the many reasons I mentioned, I firmly believe that raising the cost of fuel is not effective, and there is still a better way than this action.

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