Today, more people are traveling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of traveling for travelers?

It is commonly believed that traveling has increased significantly during the past few decades. This essay will examine the advantages and merits of this trend, as well as explore their broad appeal and the reasons for their discussion.

In my opinion, the growth of the global economy and rising disposable incomes have contributed to the surge in travel. As more people experience an improvement in their financial situations, they can afford travel experiences that were once considered luxuries. The desire to explore new places and seek unique experiences has become a priority for many, leading to an increase in travel demand. In addition, competition among tour operators has reduced the cost of traveling, especially budget airlines.

On the other hand, there are huge benefits associated with traveling. Firstly, traveling is a part of education, and it enhances the knowledge and experience of travelers. They contact with different people, cultures, and religions, allowing them to learn about customs, traditions, and lifestyles. Secondly, long trips are a terrific opportunity to recharge your batteries, see the world, and reconnect with friends and family, which provides an escape from the daily routines. Thirdly, tourism also plays an important role in promoting national income in several countries. For instance, the contribution of travel and tourism to Thailand's GDP was approximately 21.9% in 2019.

In conclusion, considering all the reasons and benefits of traveling, nowadays people are more interested in traveling. If I have lots of money and time, I will travel around the world.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"It is commonly believed that traveling has increased significantly during the past few decades." -> "There is a prevailing belief that travel has increased significantly over the past few decades."
Explanation: Replacing "It is commonly believed that traveling" with "There is a prevailing belief that travel" introduces a more formal tone and avoids the informal use of "commonly believed."
"This essay will examine the advantages and merits of this trend, as well as explore their broad appeal and the reasons for their discussion." -> "This essay will scrutinize the advantages and merits of this trend, while also delving into its broad appeal and the underlying reasons for its prominence."
Explanation: Replacing "examine" with "scrutinize" and "explore" with "delve into" adds precision and formality to the sentence, aligning it more closely with academic style.
"In my opinion, the growth of the global economy and rising disposable incomes have contributed to the surge in travel." -> "From my perspective, the expansion of the global economy and the rise in disposable incomes have fueled the surge in travel."
Explanation: Substituting "In my opinion" with "From my perspective" maintains formality, and replacing "growth" with "expansion" and "contributed to" with "fueled" enhances the sophistication of the language.
"As more people experience an improvement in their financial situations, they can afford travel experiences that were once considered luxuries." -> "With an increasing number of individuals experiencing an enhancement in their financial circumstances, they can now afford travel experiences that were once deemed luxuries."
Explanation: The replacement of "more people" with "an increasing number of individuals" and "experience" with "enhancement" contributes to a more formal and precise expression.
"The desire to explore new places and seek unique experiences has become a priority for many, leading to an increase in travel demand." -> "The inclination to explore new destinations and pursue distinctive experiences has become a priority for many, resulting in a heightened demand for travel."
Explanation: Substituting "desire" with "inclination" and rephrasing "has become a priority" to "has become a priority for many" adds nuance and formality to the sentence.
"On the other hand, there are huge benefits associated with traveling." -> "Conversely, substantial benefits are associated with traveling."
Explanation: Replacing "On the other hand" with "Conversely" and "huge" with "substantial" contributes to a more formal and sophisticated expression.
"They contact with different people, cultures, and religions, allowing them to learn about customs, traditions, and lifestyles." -> "They come into contact with different people, cultures, and religions, enabling them to learn about customs, traditions, and lifestyles."
Explanation: Correcting the error in "They contact with" to "They come into contact with" improves grammatical accuracy, and the use of "enabling" enhances formality.
"long trips are a terrific opportunity to recharge your batteries, see the world, and reconnect with friends and family, which provides an escape from the daily routines." -> "Extended journeys present an excellent opportunity to rejuvenate, explore the world, and reconnect with friends and family, offering a respite from the monotony of daily routines."
Explanation: Replacing "long trips" with "extended journeys" and "terrific" with "excellent" elevates the formality of the expression, while refining the language for academic writing.
"the contribution of travel and tourism to Thailand’s GDP was approximately 21.9% in 2019." -> "In 2019, travel and tourism contributed approximately 21.9% to Thailand’s GDP."
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and placing the temporal information at the beginning enhances the academic style.
"If I have lots of money and time, I will travel around the world." -> "Given ample financial resources and time, I would embark on a journey around the world."
Explanation: Substituting "lots of money" with "ample financial resources" and "will" with "would" imparts a more formal and conditional tone suitable for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both parts of the question. It discusses the reasons for the increase in travel and outlines the benefits of traveling for individuals. Relevant sections include the mention of the global economy, rising disposable incomes, and the desire for unique experiences. The essay also touches upon the benefits of travel, such as education, personal rejuvenation, and the economic impact on countries like Thailand.
- How to improve: While the essay provides a comprehensive response, it would benefit from a more structured organization. Each reason for the increase in travel and each benefit of traveling could be discussed in dedicated paragraphs for better clarity.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently stating that the increase in travel is due to economic growth, rising incomes, and a desire for unique experiences. The benefits of travel are also consistently presented.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the writer could consider explicitly stating the main argument or perspective in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented are generally clear and well-supported. The essay elaborates on the reasons for increased travel and provides examples such as the impact on Thailand’s GDP. The benefits of travel are also supported with explanations.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the essay, the writer could provide additional examples or specific anecdotes related to the benefits of travel, making the content more engaging and persuasive.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by addressing both aspects of the prompt—why travel has increased and the benefits for travelers. However, there is a slight deviation in the concluding sentence where the writer introduces a personal opinion, stating that they would travel around the world if they had the time and money.
- How to improve: To maintain a strict focus on the topic, the writer should avoid introducing personal opinions in the conclusion unless explicitly asked for in the prompt. Instead, a more fitting conclusion could summarize the main points and restate the significance of the topic.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong grasp of the prompt, presenting well-supported arguments for both the increase in travel and its benefits. Improvements in organization and the avoidance of personal opinions in the conclusion could further enhance the overall coherence and focus of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that sets the context, followed by body paragraphs discussing the reasons for increased travel and the benefits of traveling. However, there is room for improvement in the logical development of ideas within paragraphs. For instance, the second paragraph could better present the reasons for increased travel in a more structured manner, providing a smoother transition between ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider providing a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader. Ensure a more seamless flow of ideas by using transitional phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs. Revise the second paragraph to present reasons for increased travel in a step-by-step or hierarchical fashion.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs, but the effectiveness of their structure varies. The introduction and conclusion are appropriately separate, and the body paragraphs address different aspects of the prompt. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer division of ideas. The discussion of the economic factors and the role of tour operators could be presented in distinct paragraphs to improve overall clarity.
- How to improve: Focus on maintaining a clear structure within each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details. Ensure a smooth transition between ideas and consider breaking down complex points into separate paragraphs to enhance readability.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as transition words like "firstly," "secondly," and "thirdly." However, there is a limited variety of cohesive devices, and their use could be more strategic to enhance the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, the connection between sentences and ideas could be strengthened.
- How to improve: Increase the variety of cohesive devices, incorporating synonyms for transition words and utilizing pronouns to establish clear connections between sentences. Ensure that the relationship between ideas is explicitly stated, and experiment with more sophisticated cohesive devices such as parallelism and repetition for emphasis. Consider revising sentences for a smoother flow of thought.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, encompassing words such as "merits," "luxuries," "recharge your batteries," and "contribution." However, there is room for improvement as some words are repeated (e.g., "traveling," "experience") and a more varied choice of synonyms could enhance the richness of expression.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical range, consider using a thesaurus to find alternative words for commonly used terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "traveling," explore words like "journeying," "exploring," or "venturing." This can add nuance and depth to your language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The vocabulary usage is generally precise, with specific terms like "global economy," "budget airlines," and "national income." However, there are instances where more specific and vivid language could replace vague expressions, such as "huge benefits" or "terrific opportunity."
- How to improve: Aim for specificity by providing concrete examples and details. For example, instead of saying "huge benefits," specify the benefits like "educational enrichment," "cultural understanding," and "economic stimulation." This will make your arguments more convincing and your language more impactful.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of spelling accuracy, with no major misspellings. However, attention to detail is crucial, and there are a few minor errors, such as "contact" instead of "interact" and "their" instead of "there."
- How to improve: Proofread your work carefully, paying special attention to commonly confused words and homophones. Utilize spelling and grammar check tools, but also develop a habit of reviewing your writing manually. This will help eliminate minor errors and ensure a consistently high level of spelling accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a satisfactory range of sentence structures. There is evidence of both simple and complex structures, such as compound and complex sentences. For instance, the use of compound sentences is evident in phrases like "The desire to explore new places and seek unique experiences has become a priority for many," which adds variety and complexity to the writing. However, the essay could benefit from more variety in sentence structures, including the use of complex structures and varied sentence beginnings. This would enhance the overall fluency and sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence constructions. Use a combination of simple, compound, and complex sentences to create a smoother flow. Additionally, pay attention to sentence beginnings to avoid repetitiveness, enhancing overall coherence and engagement.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances where grammatical accuracy could be improved. For example, in the sentence "They contact with different people, cultures, and religions," the correct preposition should be "make contact with." Additionally, the sentence "If I have lots of money and time, I will travel around the world" could be improved by using the subjunctive mood: "If I had lots of money and time, I would travel around the world." Punctuation is generally accurate, but attention to detail, such as proper comma placement, can be refined for increased precision.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, review common preposition usage and focus on using appropriate verb forms, especially in conditional sentences. Regarding punctuation, ensure consistent and accurate usage, paying attention to comma placement in complex sentences. Consider seeking feedback on specific grammatical points to strengthen overall accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a prevailing belief that travel has increased significantly over the past few decades. This essay will scrutinize the advantages and merits of this trend, while also delving into its broad appeal and the underlying reasons for its prominence.

From my perspective, the expansion of the global economy and the rise in disposable incomes have fueled the surge in travel. With an increasing number of individuals experiencing an enhancement in their financial circumstances, they can now afford travel experiences that were once deemed luxuries. The inclination to explore new destinations and pursue distinctive experiences has become a priority for many, resulting in a heightened demand for travel. Competition among tour operators has also played a role in reducing the cost of traveling, especially with the availability of budget airlines.

Conversely, substantial benefits are associated with traveling. Travelers come into contact with different people, cultures, and religions, enabling them to learn about customs, traditions, and lifestyles. Extended journeys present an excellent opportunity to rejuvenate, explore the world, and reconnect with friends and family, offering a respite from the monotony of daily routines. Moreover, tourism plays a crucial role in promoting national income in several countries. For instance, in 2019, travel and tourism contributed approximately 21.9% to Thailand’s GDP.

In conclusion, the growth of the global economy, rising disposable incomes, and increased affordability due to competitive pricing have contributed to the surge in travel. The benefits of traveling include gaining valuable knowledge and experiences, as well as providing an opportunity for rejuvenation and social connections. Considering these reasons and the associated benefits, it is evident that people today are more inclined to embrace the enriching experiences that travel offers. If I had ample financial resources and time, I would eagerly embark on a journey around the world.