Today, more people are traveling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of traveling for travelers?

In the past, travelling was often only for the rich and it was considered a luxury. Nowadays, With the development of technology, flights get cheaper and people's income increases, traveling has become an inevitable trend for every individual. The following paragraphs will discuss the increase in tourism in recent years and the benefits it brings to people.

First of all, we are all aware that traveling is becoming more convenient and easier than ever. Choosing transportation, booking rooms, and planning your trip can all be done easily at home. With a huge source of information from the internet, people can easily find information about the places they want to travel, about delicious restaurants, and experiences from people who have gone before. Economic growth leads to people's income also increasing. Since then, their need for rest and entertainment has also become more popular. Moreover, more and more countries aware of the importance of developing the tourism industry, from which they will reduce trip costs, plane and train tickets will also be cheaper.

In addition, there are several benefits that travelling brings to people. Busy life makes us tired and it would be terrible if we worked without rest. Choosing a few days off and travelling with family and friends is a good way to reduce stress and let your body rest. A long trip can help us recharge and work more effectively. Moreover, Traveling is also a good way to spend time with family and friends, which will create memorable memories in everyone's life. Besides, Going to a completely new and unfamiliar place is an opportunity for us to acquire knowledge and broad our horizons.
There, we can discover new cultures, festivals, costumes, and cuisines.

In conclusion, People's living standards are increasingly improving. The benefits of travelling are also becoming clearer and making it an inevitable trend.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"travelling was often only for the rich" -> "traveling was typically exclusive to the affluent"
Explanation: Replacing "travelling was often only for the rich" with "traveling was typically exclusive to the affluent" elevates the language by using a more formal and nuanced expression for socioeconomic status.
"Nowadays, With the development of technology" -> "In contemporary times, owing to technological advancements"
Explanation: Replacing "Nowadays, With the development of technology" with "In contemporary times, owing to technological advancements" enhances formality and clarity by introducing a more sophisticated phrase and proper sentence structure.
"flights get cheaper" -> "airfares become more affordable"
Explanation: Substituting "flights get cheaper" with "airfares become more affordable" employs a more formal term, maintaining the academic tone and precision.
"every individual" -> "each individual"
Explanation: Replacing "every individual" with "each individual" adds a touch of formality and precision to the expression.
"we are all aware" -> "it is widely acknowledged"
Explanation: Replacing "we are all aware" with "it is widely acknowledged" introduces a more formal and academic phrase, contributing to a more polished tone.
"Choosing transportation, booking rooms, and planning your trip can all be done easily at home." -> "Selecting transportation, reserving accommodations, and orchestrating one’s itinerary can all be conveniently accomplished from home."
Explanation: The suggested changes enhance formality by using more precise terms and a structured sentence.
"With a huge source of information from the internet" -> "Benefiting from an extensive array of information available on the internet"
Explanation: Substituting "With a huge source of information from the internet" with "Benefiting from an extensive array of information available on the internet" maintains clarity while employing a more formal and nuanced expression.
"their need for rest and entertainment has also become more popular." -> "their demand for leisure and entertainment has surged."
Explanation: Replacing "their need for rest and entertainment has also become more popular" with "their demand for leisure and entertainment has surged" uses a more formal term, enhancing the academic tone.
"countries aware of the importance" -> "countries cognizant of the significance"
Explanation: Replacing "countries aware of the importance" with "countries cognizant of the significance" introduces a more formal and precise term, aligning with academic language.
"trip costs" -> "travel expenses"
Explanation: Substituting "trip costs" with "travel expenses" is a more formal and widely accepted term in academic writing.
"Busy life makes us tired" -> "A hectic lifestyle induces fatigue"
Explanation: Replacing "Busy life makes us tired" with "A hectic lifestyle induces fatigue" uses a more formal and precise expression while maintaining clarity.
"Choosing a few days off" -> "Opting for a brief respite"
Explanation: Substituting "Choosing a few days off" with "Opting for a brief respite" introduces a more formal and refined term, contributing to a more sophisticated tone.
"Going to a completely new and unfamiliar place" -> "Venturing into a novel and unfamiliar destination"
Explanation: Replacing "Going to a completely new and unfamiliar place" with "Venturing into a novel and unfamiliar destination" employs more formal and advanced vocabulary without sacrificing clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It discusses the increase in travel, the reasons behind it, and the benefits for travelers. The mention of technological advancements, economic growth, and the efforts of countries to promote tourism supports the analysis.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, consider providing specific examples or data to illustrate the points made. For instance, citing statistics on the growth of the tourism industry or specific countries’ initiatives could strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout by emphasizing the inevitability of travel due to technological advancements, economic growth, and the recognition of the importance of tourism by countries.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, consider explicitly stating the main argument or thesis in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion. This can help readers follow the essay’s stance more easily.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. It discusses the convenience of travel, the role of technology and economic factors, and the benefits of travel such as stress reduction and cultural exposure. Specific examples, like how the internet facilitates trip planning, enhance the development of ideas.
- How to improve: While the essay is well-supported, integrating more real-world examples or personal anecdotes could add depth to the argument and make it more engaging for the reader.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by addressing why more people are traveling and the benefits of travel. However, there are some minor deviations, such as the brief mention of economic growth without directly connecting it to travel.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all points directly relate to the central theme of increased travel. Develop and connect ideas more explicitly to avoid any potential tangential discussions.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt, effectively addressing key aspects. To enhance the overall quality, consider providing more specific examples, explicitly stating the main argument, and ensuring all ideas are directly connected to the central theme.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally organizes information logically by introducing the topic, discussing the reasons for increased travel, and then outlining the benefits of traveling. Each paragraph has a clear focus, contributing to the overall coherence. However, the development of ideas within paragraphs could be more structured. For example, the paragraph discussing the convenience of travel could better progress from transportation to accommodation and trip planning.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details that logically flow from one to another. Transition sentences could be used to guide readers through the progression of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with a clear separation of ideas. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, contributing to coherence. However, the structure within paragraphs could be more refined. For instance, the paragraph discussing the benefits of traveling covers diverse points like stress reduction, family time, and cultural exposure, which might benefit from sub-paragraphing or a more systematic organization.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down complex paragraphs into smaller, more focused sub-paragraphs. This allows for a clearer presentation of ideas and facilitates better reader comprehension.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses cohesive devices adequately, such as transition words like "First of all," "In addition," and "Moreover." However, there is room for improvement in the variety and subtlety of cohesive devices. The transitions between sentences and ideas are generally clear but could be more varied for a richer flow.
- How to improve: Diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporating a mix of transitional phrases, synonyms, and pronouns. This will create a smoother flow between sentences and ideas, enhancing the overall cohesion of the essay. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of these devices to ensure a seamless connection between paragraphs and ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a moderate range of vocabulary. There is a mix of common and somewhat advanced vocabulary, but the usage lacks consistency. For instance, the repeated use of phrases like "traveling" could be diversified. There is room for improvement in incorporating more nuanced and specific vocabulary related to travel and tourism.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of vocabulary, consider using synonyms and more specific terms related to travel. For example, instead of repeatedly using "traveling," you could use alternatives like "touring," "exploring," or "journeying." Additionally, incorporate more specialized vocabulary related to tourism, such as "sightseeing," "cultural immersion," or "adventure tourism."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys ideas adequately, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For example, the phrase "economic growth leads to people’s income also increasing" could be more precisely expressed to enhance clarity and sophistication.
- How to improve: Aim for precision in expression. Instead of general statements, provide specific details. For instance, you could say, "As economies flourish, individuals experience a subsequent rise in their income levels." This not only clarifies the relationship between economic growth and income but also adds a more refined touch to the language.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a reasonable level of spelling accuracy. However, there are some errors, such as "broad our horizons" instead of "broaden our horizons." These minor spelling mistakes, while not pervasive, impact the overall impression.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, proofread your essay thoroughly before submission. Consider using spelling and grammar-check tools to catch and correct minor errors. Developing a habit of revising your work can significantly enhance the correctness of your spelling.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates competence in lexical resource, refining vocabulary range, precision, and ensuring consistent spelling accuracy will contribute to an even more polished and sophisticated piece of writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in the range of structures used. There is a tendency to rely on simple sentences, and more complex structures such as conditional sentences or relative clauses could enhance the overall sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures. For example, introduce conditional sentences to express hypothetical situations or use relative clauses to provide additional details. This can elevate the overall fluency and complexity of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally accurate use of grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies throughout the essay. For example, there are some issues with subject-verb agreement ("flights get cheaper" should be "flights are getting cheaper") and punctuation (a missing comma after "Nowadays").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and punctuation rules. Review the essay carefully for any errors in verb tenses, sentence structure, and punctuation marks. Consider seeking feedback from others or using grammar-check tools to identify and correct these issues. Additionally, proofread the essay before submission to catch any overlooked errors.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structures, but attention to detail and the incorporation of more complex structures could contribute to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the past, traveling was typically exclusive to the affluent, seen as a luxury available only to the rich. However, in contemporary times, owing to technological advancements, airfares have become more affordable, and as individuals’ incomes increase, traveling has become an inevitable trend for each person. The following paragraphs will delve into the reasons behind the surge in tourism in recent years and the benefits it brings to people.

First and foremost, it is widely acknowledged that traveling has become more convenient and easier than ever. Selecting transportation, reserving accommodations, and orchestrating one’s itinerary can all be conveniently accomplished from home. Benefiting from an extensive array of information available on the internet, people can easily access details about their desired travel destinations, discover information about delectable restaurants, and gain insights from the experiences of those who have ventured there before. Economic growth has led to an increase in individuals’ incomes, resulting in a heightened demand for leisure and entertainment.

Moreover, countries cognizant of the significance of developing the tourism industry have taken steps to reduce travel expenses. This has led to more affordable plane and train tickets, making travel more accessible to a broader population.

In addition, there are several benefits that traveling brings to individuals. A hectic lifestyle induces fatigue, and opting for a brief respite by choosing a few days off to travel with family and friends is a good way to reduce stress and allow the body to rest. A well-deserved break can help individuals recharge and work more effectively. Furthermore, traveling provides an excellent opportunity to spend quality time with family and friends, creating memorable experiences that linger in everyone’s life. Venturing into a novel and unfamiliar destination is also a chance to acquire knowledge and broaden horizons, offering exposure to new cultures, festivals, costumes, and cuisines.

In conclusion, with people’s living standards on the rise, the benefits of traveling are becoming clearer, making it an inevitable trend in contemporary society.