Some people could be naturally good leader. Others believe that people can learn leadership skills. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

It is believe that some people have inborn leadership talent. Others think that people can become a leader by gain knowledge as a leader. In my opinion, both view should be discussed and considered.
On the one hand, there are several things can not be learned from people who is a innate leader. Firstly, the charisma from the leader is a crucial thing decide almost relationship around them and also help them are followed. Contrasting with enthusiastic leader, it is very difficult and challenging for people who have negative energy and apathetic work with everyone and noone want to combine with indifferent person. For instance, Barack Obama, the president of the United States of America, he just a small American politician. But by his excellent declaim talent and reliability, he succeeded in persuading many people in the national assembly and citizens to elect he to the president position and be successful in achieving every on faith. Secondly, the vision from the leader is also a essential thing assist them succeed in their career. Elon Musk is a typical example, when he decided to invest in electric vehicles, numerous individuals opposed his proposal and believe it is a wild thoughts. But he did the unpredictable, he is correct when focus his funding in electric transports and this transportation is gradually becoming a new trend because it is not only state-of-the-art, affordable but it is also ecofriendly when this vehicles use electricities fuel instead of fossils fuel.
On the other hand, we can deny leadership skills can be learnt. And one of the leadership skills can be gained is communicating skills. This skills do not require we must have a talent for speaking, communicating. We can easy acquire it from schools, social or praticing it everyday and experted it. In addition, leader knowledge is come from experiences, and this can be gained from school. For example, Harvard university, one of the most prestigious university in the world, where is training many america presidents generation. They instruct many vital skills to becoming a leader such as deal with the public, make a public speech or how to lead your team,.. Hence, knowledge can be gained easily from your experiences, if you strive to do it and praticse it everyday, you can be expert in it.
In conlusion, somepeople have inborn leadership skills, others become a leader by learn how to lead everyone. Both they will become a excellent leader.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"It is believe" -> "It is believed"
Explanation: Correcting the verb form to "believed" fixes the grammatical error, ensuring the sentence is properly constructed.
"gain knowledge as a leader" -> "acquire leadership knowledge"
Explanation: "Acquire leadership knowledge" is more precise and academically appropriate, focusing on the process of learning leadership skills.
"both view should be" -> "both views should be"
Explanation: Adding the plural form "views" corrects the grammatical number agreement with the subject.
"things can not be learned from people who is" -> "qualities cannot be learned from someone who is"
Explanation: "Qualities cannot be learned from someone who is" is more formal and corrects the grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement.
"charisma from the leader" -> "a leader’s charisma"
Explanation: "A leader’s charisma" is more natural and academically appropriate, employing possessive form for clarity and conciseness.
"decide almost relationship" -> "influences nearly all relationships"
Explanation: "Influences nearly all relationships" is more accurate and formal, replacing the vague and incorrect "decide almost relationship."
"noone" -> "no one"
Explanation: Correcting "noone" to "no one" fixes the spelling error, adhering to standard English conventions.
"he just a small American politician" -> "he was merely a minor American politician"
Explanation: "He was merely a minor American politician" is more formal and corrects the tense and tone, providing a clearer and more respectful description.
"declaim talent" -> "oratorical talent"
Explanation: "Oratorical talent" is a more precise and academically suitable term than "declaim talent," which is vague and informal.
"electricities fuel" -> "electric power"
Explanation: "Electric power" is the correct term, replacing the awkward and incorrect "electricities fuel."
"fossils fuel" -> "fossil fuels"
Explanation: Correcting to "fossil fuels" fixes the plural form and spelling, ensuring accurate and formal language.
"we can deny" -> "it cannot be denied"
Explanation: "It cannot be denied" is a more formal and clear way to express inevitability or certainty, replacing the informal and unclear "we can deny."
"communicating skills" -> "communication skills"
Explanation: "Communication skills" is the correct term, replacing the awkward and incorrect "communicating skills."
"easy acquire it" -> "easily acquire it"
Explanation: Adding "ly" to "easy" corrects the adverb form, aligning with formal language rules.
"praticing it everyday" -> "practicing it every day"
Explanation: Correcting "praticing" to "practicing" fixes the spelling error, and "every day" (two words) is the correct form when referring to something done daily.
"experted it" -> "master it"
Explanation: "Master it" is more appropriate and academically suitable, replacing the incorrect and informal "experted it."
"leader knowledge is come from" -> "leadership knowledge comes from"
Explanation: "Leadership knowledge comes from" corrects the grammatical structure and employs a more formal term, enhancing clarity and formality.
"america presidents generation" -> "generations of American presidents"
Explanation: "Generations of American presidents" corrects the grammatical structure and possessive form, making the phrase more formal and clear.
"conlusion" -> "conclusion"
Explanation: Correcting "conlusion" to "conclusion" fixes the spelling error.
"somepeople" -> "some people"
Explanation: Adding a space corrects the spelling error, adhering to standard English conventions.
"learn how to lead everyone" -> "learn leadership skills"
Explanation: "Learn leadership skills" is more precise and academically appropriate, replacing the vague and informal "learn how to lead everyone."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Task Response: 9

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both viewpoints presented in the prompt. It discusses the belief in innate leadership talent and the idea that leadership skills can be learned. The introduction sets up the discussion well by stating that both views will be considered, and each viewpoint is elaborated upon in the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, ensure that each viewpoint is explored in greater depth with more nuanced analysis. Providing specific examples or studies that support each perspective would strengthen the argumentation.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, as indicated in the introduction where the writer states, "In my opinion, both views should be discussed and considered." The stance remains consistent, with balanced consideration given to both sides of the argument.
- How to improve: To further enhance clarity, consider refining the thesis statement to explicitly state the writer’s opinion on whether leadership is innate or can be learned. This will provide readers with a clearer understanding of the writer’s perspective.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas with examples, such as Barack Obama’s charisma and Elon Musk’s vision, to support the argument that innate qualities contribute to leadership success. Additionally, it discusses how communication skills and knowledge can be learned to support the opposing viewpoint.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, provide more detailed analysis and expand upon the examples provided. Additionally, consider incorporating more diverse examples to illustrate various aspects of leadership and its acquisition.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic, discussing the two viewpoints presented in the prompt: innate leadership talent versus learned leadership skills. However, there are minor instances where the discussion strays slightly off topic, such as the brief mention of Harvard University’s role in training American presidents.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all examples and arguments directly relate to the topic of leadership and its acquisition. Avoid tangential discussions that do not directly contribute to the central argument.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position, there is room for improvement in providing more comprehensive analysis, refining the thesis statement for clarity, expanding upon ideas with detailed examples, and ensuring strict adherence to the topic throughout the essay. By implementing these suggestions, the essay can further strengthen its argumentation and coherence, potentially achieving an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally presents arguments for both sides of the issue but lacks clear organization. There is a tendency towards presenting examples without a clear transition between them, resulting in a somewhat disjointed flow. For example, the discussion of Barack Obama’s leadership qualities abruptly shifts to Elon Musk without a smooth transition.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider structuring the essay more clearly. Start with an introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed (inherent leadership vs. learned leadership). Then, in body paragraphs, clearly delineate arguments for each perspective, with smooth transitions between examples. Finally, conclude by summarizing the key points and restating your opinion.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, but their effectiveness is limited. Paragraphs often contain multiple ideas or examples without clear topic sentences or transitions, making it challenging for the reader to follow the progression of ideas.
- How to improve: Focus on structuring paragraphs around single ideas or examples. Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point, followed by supporting details or examples. Ensure that there is a logical flow between paragraphs, with each one building upon the previous one.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use cohesive devices such as transitional phrases ("On the one hand," "On the other hand," "In addition," "Hence") but does so inconsistently. Additionally, there is a lack of variety in cohesive devices used, leading to repetitive phrasing.
- How to improve: Increase the variety of cohesive devices used to create smoother transitions between ideas. Incorporate a wider range of transitional phrases and connectives to link sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence.

Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents arguments for both views, there is room for improvement in organizing the information more coherently, refining paragraph structure for clarity, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. By implementing these suggestions, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing its effectiveness in conveying ideas to the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 9

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, encompassing various lexical choices to convey ideas effectively. For instance, phrases like "innate leadership talent," "charisma," "declaim talent," "vision," "wild thoughts," "state-of-the-art," "eco-friendly," and "prestigious university" contribute to a diverse lexical resource.
- How to improve: While the essay exhibits a strong vocabulary repertoire, incorporating more nuanced or specialized terminology related to leadership and personal development could enhance the depth of lexical resource. Utilizing synonyms or exploring alternative expressions for frequently used terms would further enrich the vocabulary range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying ideas. However, there are instances where imprecise language usage detracts from clarity. For example, the phrase "by his excellent declaim talent" could be more precisely expressed as "by his exceptional oratory skills." Additionally, "a essential thing assist them succeed" might be better conveyed as "an essential factor aiding their success."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, strive for more exact word choices that accurately capture the intended meaning. Consulting a thesaurus or considering alternative phrases during the writing process can help refine vocabulary usage and avoid ambiguity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate level of spelling accuracy, with several errors present throughout the text. Examples include "believe" instead of "belief," "gain" instead of "gaining," "declaim" instead of "declamatory," "praticing" instead of "practicing," "experted" instead of "expertise," and "conlusion" instead of "conclusion."
- How to improve: Employing proofreading techniques such as spell-checking software and reading the essay aloud can help identify and rectify spelling errors. Additionally, paying closer attention to spelling patterns and committing common words to memory can contribute to improved spelling accuracy. Developing a habit of revising written work meticulously before submission is essential for minimizing spelling mistakes.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a strong grasp of vocabulary and conveys ideas effectively, attention to precision and spelling accuracy could further enhance the clarity and professionalism of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, it employs complex sentences like "Barack Obama, the president of the United States of America, he just a small American politician" and compound-complex sentences such as "But by his excellent declaim talent and reliability, he succeeded in persuading many people in the national assembly and citizens to elect he to the president position and be successful in achieving every on faith." However, there is room for improvement in incorporating more sophisticated structures, such as parallelism or inverted sentences, to enhance clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, try incorporating parallel structures for emphasis and clarity. Additionally, experiment with inverted sentences or rhetorical devices like antithesis to add variety and engage the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits some grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies, affecting overall clarity and coherence. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("It is believe" should be "It is believed"), incorrect article usage ("a essential thing" should be "an essential thing"), and awkward phrasing ("he just a small American politician" could be revised to "he was initially a relatively unknown American politician"). Moreover, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences and misuse of capitalization ("But by his excellent declaim talent and reliability").
- How to improve: Enhance grammatical accuracy by carefully reviewing subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. Proofread the essay to correct punctuation errors, ensuring proper placement of commas and capitalization. Consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to identify and rectify mistakes effectively. Additionally, focus on refining sentence construction to enhance readability and coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is believed that some individuals possess innate leadership talents, while others argue that leadership skills can be acquired through learning. In my view, both perspectives warrant discussion and consideration.

On one hand, certain qualities cannot be learned from someone who is a natural leader. Firstly, a leader’s charisma plays a crucial role in influencing nearly all relationships around them and garnering followers. In contrast, individuals with negative energy and an apathetic demeanor find it challenging to engage others, and no one wants to collaborate with someone who is indifferent. For instance, consider the case of Barack Obama, who, prior to his presidency, was regarded as merely a minor American politician. However, through his exceptional oratorical talent and reliability, he effectively persuaded many individuals in both the national assembly and among citizens, ultimately securing his position as President and achieving success based on public trust. Secondly, a leader’s vision is essential for their career success. Elon Musk serves as a prime example; when he chose to invest in electric vehicles, many opposed his idea, deeming it impractical. Yet, he defied expectations and focused his investments on electric transportation, which is now emerging as a new trend due to its technological advancement, affordability, and environmental friendliness by utilizing electricity instead of fossil fuels.

On the other hand, it cannot be denied that leadership skills can be acquired through learning. One such skill is effective communication. Proficiency in communication does not necessarily require innate talent; rather, it can be acquired through education, social interactions, or daily practice. Furthermore, leadership knowledge stems from experiences, which can be gained through education. For instance, prestigious institutions like Harvard University, known for training numerous generations of American presidents, impart essential leadership skills such as public engagement, public speaking, and team leadership. Therefore, knowledge can be easily acquired through experience, provided one is dedicated to continuous learning and daily practice.

In conclusion, while some individuals may possess innate leadership skills, others can become effective leaders through learning and practice. Both approaches have the potential to cultivate excellent leadership qualities.