The compensation of senior management should be reasonable and consistent with the wages of workers. Do you agree or disagree?

In contemporary society, it is argued that the pay for top excutives should be equiptable and consistent with the employees’s salaies. From my perspective, I completely agree with this argument as believe that it helps promote an impartial workplace and save a particular amount of money for the company.

The main reason why I have agreement with aligning compensation is that it will create fair working environment. This can be explained that the gap in salaries has been one of the main factors that lead to resentment and dissatisfaction among workers. It is vital to understand that if reducing the distance, especially normal labours, will not feel undervalued and discouraged because of unfair recognition for the efforts. For instance, Binh Duong province, in 2024, there were numerous workers went on strike because the holiday bonous for normal employees was extremely little, but for managers was really high, this made them unhappy and wanted to quit.

Additionally, another reason is that the reduction in the wage gap between senior managers and other workers may lead to potential cost savings. If the company can reduce the amount of money spent on excutives, it can free up resources for other areas. As a consequence, this helps the company save a lot of costs, and this money can be used to continue to invest and develop the company further. For instance, if we reduce the compensation of excutives we could increase investment in employee training or innovation initatives for all employees, this approach would not only foster company development but also encouraged employees to become more loyal.

In conclusion, I am in total agreement that the compensation of senior management ought to be declined and be nearly equal to the salaries of employees due to the aforementioned reasons.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"top excutives" -> "senior executives"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "excutives" to "executives" and adding "senior" enhances precision and maintains a formal tone.
"equiptable" -> "equitable"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "equiptable" to "equitable" ensures the correct terminology is used in an academic context.
"employees’s salaies" -> "employees’ salaries"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "salaies" to "salaries" and adjusting the possessive form improves grammatical accuracy and clarity.
"I completely agree" -> "I strongly concur"
Explanation: Replacing "completely agree" with "strongly concur" elevates the formality of the expression.
"save a particular amount of money" -> "yield significant financial savings"
Explanation: Changing to "yield significant financial savings" provides a more precise and formal description of the economic benefit.
"have agreement with" -> "support"
Explanation: Simplifying "have agreement with" to "support" maintains clarity while ensuring the language remains academically appropriate.
"fair working environment" -> "equitable working environment"
Explanation: "Equitable" is more precise and academically appropriate than "fair" in this context, emphasizing fairness in terms of justice and equality.
"normal labours" -> "ordinary workers"
Explanation: Replacing "normal labours" with "ordinary workers" uses more respectful and formal terminology to refer to non-executive employees.
"holiday bonous" -> "holiday bonuses"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "bonous" to "bonuses" ensures accuracy, and making it plural aligns with the context.
"really high" -> "substantially higher"
Explanation: "Substantially higher" is more specific and formal than "really high," providing a clearer comparison.
"excutives" -> "executives"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "excutives" to "executives" for consistency and accuracy.
"free up resources for other areas" -> "allocate resources to other priorities"
Explanation: "Allocate resources to other priorities" is more specific and formal, indicating a strategic decision-making process.
"save a lot of costs" -> "achieve substantial cost savings"
Explanation: "Achieve substantial cost savings" is more precise and formal, better suited for an academic or professional context.
"innovation initatives" -> "innovative initiatives"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "initatives" to "initiatives" and changing "innovation" to "innovative" as an adjective improves grammatical accuracy and clarity.
"encouraged employees" -> "encourage employee"
Explanation: Changing "encouraged" to "encourage" corrects the tense, and "employee" to its singular form is unnecessary; should remain plural for general reference.
"ought to be declined" -> "should be reduced"
Explanation: Replacing "ought to be declined" with "should be reduced" clarifies the intended meaning and maintains formal tone. "Declined" is not the appropriate term for describing adjustments to compensation levels.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question by expressing agreement with the idea that senior management compensation should be equitable and consistent with that of workers. It discusses the importance of fairness in the workplace and the potential benefits of reducing the wage gap.
- How to improve: To further enhance task response, ensure a more nuanced exploration of the implications of aligning compensation, such as considering potential drawbacks or addressing counterarguments. Additionally, provide clearer examples or evidence to support the points made.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance in favor of aligning senior management compensation with that of workers. The position is evident from the thesis statement and is consistently supported throughout the essay.
- How to improve: Strengthen clarity by refining language for better articulation of ideas. Avoid vague phrases like "from my perspective" and ensure that each paragraph reinforces the central argument without ambiguity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas reasonably well, discussing the importance of fairness in the workplace and the potential cost-saving benefits of reducing the wage gap. However, some ideas lack development, and examples provided could be more detailed.
- How to improve: Extend ideas by providing deeper analysis and elaboration. Incorporate specific examples or case studies to bolster arguments and enhance credibility. Ensure coherence between ideas within and across paragraphs for a more cohesive argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by addressing the issue of senior management compensation and its alignment with worker wages. However, there are minor instances of tangential discussion, such as mentioning employee holiday bonuses, which could be more directly linked to the main argument.
- How to improve: Maintain strict relevance to the topic by avoiding tangents or unrelated examples. Focus on directly supporting the central argument without diverging into peripheral discussions.

Overall, while the essay effectively presents a coherent argument in favor of aligning senior management compensation with worker wages, there is room for improvement in providing more detailed examples, refining language for clarity, extending ideas for deeper analysis, and ensuring strict adherence to the topic. Addressing these areas would strengthen the essay’s overall effectiveness and potentially elevate the band score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization. It follows a conventional introduction-body-conclusion structure, with each paragraph focusing on a separate supporting point. However, there are instances of disjointedness in the flow of ideas. For example, the transition between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider incorporating clearer transitional phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader through the essay’s progression more effectively. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the main argument and maintains a logical connection with preceding and succeeding paragraphs.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to organize distinct ideas, but their effectiveness varies. Each paragraph addresses a separate supporting point, which aids readability. However, some paragraphs lack depth and coherence, particularly in the development of arguments. For instance, the second paragraph lacks sufficient elaboration on the potential consequences of the wage gap.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph coherence by providing more thorough explanations and examples to support each argument. Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples, contributing to a more cohesive and persuasive essay structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes some cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases like "Additionally" and "In conclusion." However, there is limited variety in cohesive devices, leading to repetitive use and a lack of sophistication in connecting ideas. Moreover, the essay could benefit from a wider range of cohesive devices, such as pronouns, conjunctions, and synonyms, to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: Broaden the range of cohesive devices by incorporating a variety of transition words and phrases throughout the essay. Utilize pronouns (e.g., "this," "these"), conjunctions (e.g., "however," "furthermore"), and synonyms to establish smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the flow of ideas and coherence within the essay, enhancing its overall clarity and persuasiveness.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, albeit with some instances of imprecise or repetitive word choices. For example, "equiptable" instead of "equitable," "salaies" instead of "salaries," "excutive" instead of "executive," and "initatives" instead of "initiatives." Additionally, while the essay attempts to employ varied vocabulary, some phrases lack clarity or fluency, affecting the overall coherence and sophistication of expression.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, strive for greater accuracy and diversity in vocabulary usage. Consider consulting a thesaurus for alternative word choices and pay attention to spelling accuracy. Additionally, aim for clearer and more concise phrasing to improve overall coherence and fluency.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally employs imprecise vocabulary, leading to ambiguity or lack of clarity. For instance, "equiptable" instead of "equitable" and "excutive" instead of "executive." While the essay attempts to convey ideas, imprecise word choices detract from the overall effectiveness of communication.
- How to improve: To use vocabulary more precisely, pay careful attention to word selection and ensure that chosen terms accurately convey intended meanings. Practice incorporating precise terminology into writing and consider using dictionaries or language resources to verify definitions and usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays noticeable issues with spelling accuracy, as evidenced by words such as "equiptable," "salaies," "excutive," and "initatives." These errors detract from the professionalism and credibility of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider employing spelling and grammar checking tools during the writing process. Additionally, allocate time for thorough proofreading to identify and correct spelling errors. Engaging in regular reading and vocabulary-building exercises can also aid in familiarizing oneself with correct spelling conventions.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in vocabulary accuracy and spelling are necessary to enhance overall clarity and effectiveness of communication. By focusing on precision in word choice and ensuring spelling accuracy, the writer can elevate the quality of their writing and better convey their ideas to the reader.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. Simple, compound, and complex sentences are used throughout the essay. However, there is a tendency towards simpler sentence structures, with limited use of complex sentences. For example, "The main reason why I have agreement with aligning compensation is that it will create fair working environment." This sentence structure is straightforward and lacks complexity.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and variety, aim to incorporate a wider range of sentence structures, including complex and compound-complex sentences. For instance, instead of consistently using simple sentences, try combining ideas using subordinating conjunctions or relative clauses. This can enrich the essay’s syntax and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay exhibits fairly accurate grammar and punctuation usage. However, there are notable instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inconsistencies. For example, "this made them unhappy and wanted to quit." The verb tense usage is incorrect here, as it should be "this makes them unhappy and makes them want to quit." Additionally, there are punctuation errors such as missing commas after introductory phrases.
- How to improve: Focus on refining grammatical accuracy by paying close attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation rules. Consider utilizing proofreading techniques such as reading the essay aloud or seeking feedback from peers to catch and correct errors. Additionally, review specific grammar and punctuation rules related to sentence structure and mechanics to strengthen overall accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s society, there is a debate surrounding whether the pay of senior executives should be fair and in line with the salaries of ordinary workers. I strongly concur with this notion as it fosters an equitable working environment and can yield significant financial savings for the company.

I wholeheartedly agree with the idea of aligning compensation because it promotes fairness in the workplace. Disparities in salaries often breed resentment and discontent among employees. By narrowing this gap, especially for regular workers, there’s less likelihood of them feeling undervalued or demotivated due to unequal recognition of their efforts. For instance, in Binh Duong province in 2024, there were widespread strikes among workers due to disproportionately low holiday bonuses for ordinary employees compared to senior managers, causing significant unhappiness and a desire to leave.

Furthermore, reducing the wage disparity between senior managers and other employees can result in substantial cost savings for the company. If resources allocated to executive compensation are decreased, it opens up avenues for investment in other areas. Consequently, this not only helps the company save costs but also allows for further investment and development. For example, reallocating funds from executive compensation to initiatives such as employee training or innovation efforts benefits the overall company growth and fosters greater employee loyalty.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that senior management compensation should be reduced and brought closer to the salaries of employees. This approach not only promotes fairness but also unlocks potential financial benefits for the company, as outlined above.