There is a big number of people who wish to live in big cities. Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of Living in big cities.

People hold different opinions about living in megacities. Some assert that people are advised to live in large cities. Others, however, it is a good idea for living in huge urban areas. This essay is going to discuss the merits and demerits of this issue below.

On the one hand, it was clear that living in huge urban areas brings us numerous pluses. The first benefit of this trend is that citizens have various chances to study or work. To be more detail, in megacities, there are a huge number of international schools and companies that can help people easily access global education and have a decent salary. Therefore, people in the city have a standard of living that is higher in the countryside. Another positive of this issue is that the megacities allow citizens to meet and make more friends, especially foreigners. This might be because there is usually an attractive tourist destination.

On the other hand, this problem also contributes to several minuses. First of all, the most serious effect of this issue is congestion in rush hours in megacities. It might be because, in cities, the number of private cars or motorbikes is large, therefore it is usually a traffic jam. Secondly, pollution is also one of the drawbacks of crowding in urban areas. There is no doubt that the air is seriously polluted in the cities. Besides, noise pollution is a bad point there.

In conclusion, the good side and the downsides of living in megacities have impacts on people. It depends on them to consider both sides of this issue. Overall, it is my opinion that the advantages are more than the disadvantages.

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Errors and Improvements:

"People hold different opinions" -> "Individuals have varied perspectives"
Explanation: "Individuals have varied perspectives" provides a more formal and precise way of expressing diversity in viewpoints.
"people are advised to live" -> "it is recommended that individuals reside"
Explanation: "It is recommended that individuals reside" formalizes the suggestion and eliminates the passive voice, aligning better with academic style.
"it is a good idea for living" -> "it is advantageous to reside"
Explanation: "It is advantageous to reside" is more specific and academically formal than saying "it is a good idea for living."
"This essay is going to discuss" -> "This essay will examine"
Explanation: "This essay will examine" is more direct and academically appropriate than "is going to discuss," which is more informal.
"brings us numerous pluses" -> "offers numerous advantages"
Explanation: "Offers numerous advantages" is more formal and precise than "brings us numerous pluses."
"To be more detail" -> "To elaborate further"
Explanation: "To elaborate further" is a more formal and academically correct way of introducing additional details.
"have a decent salary" -> "earn a competitive salary"
Explanation: "Earn a competitive salary" is more specific and formal than "have a decent salary," and it better emphasizes the benefits of employment in megacities.
"standard of living that is higher in the countryside" -> "higher standard of living than in rural areas"
Explanation: "Higher standard of living than in rural areas" is clearer and more precise, comparing urban and rural living standards directly.
"the megacities allow citizens to meet and make more friends" -> "megacities facilitate social interactions and the formation of new friendships"
Explanation: "Facilitate social interactions and the formation of new friendships" is more formal and accurately describes the process of meeting people and making friends in large urban centers.
"this problem also contributes to several minuses" -> "this situation also presents several disadvantages"
Explanation: "Presents several disadvantages" is more formal and accurate than "contributes to several minuses."
"the most serious effect of this issue" -> "the most significant drawback of this phenomenon"
Explanation: "The most significant drawback of this phenomenon" is more precise and formal, appropriately identifying the negative aspect of living in megacities.
"it might be because" -> "this may be attributed to"
Explanation: "This may be attributed to" is more formal and provides a clearer explanation of causality than "it might be because."
"there is usually a traffic jam" -> "traffic congestion is a common occurrence"
Explanation: "Traffic congestion is a common occurrence" is more formal and accurately describes the regularity of traffic jams in urban areas.
"the good side and the downsides" -> "the advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: "The advantages and disadvantages" is a more formal and academically appropriate way of contrasting the positive and negative aspects.
"it depends on them to consider" -> "the decision rests upon individuals to evaluate"
Explanation: "The decision rests upon individuals to evaluate" is more formal and clearly assigns the responsibility of evaluation to the individuals concerned.
"the advantages are more than the disadvantages" -> "the benefits outweigh the drawbacks"
Explanation: "The benefits outweigh the drawbacks" is a more concise and academically formal way of expressing that the positive aspects surpass the negative ones.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities. It discusses various aspects of life in megacities, such as opportunities for education and employment, social interactions, as well as issues like congestion, pollution, and noise.
- How to improve: To improve, ensure a more structured approach to addressing each part of the question. Start with a clear introduction that presents the topic and outlines the discussion points regarding advantages and disadvantages. Then, dedicate separate paragraphs to discussing each aspect in more depth, supported by examples or evidence. Finally, conclude with a concise summary of the main points discussed.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent position throughout, suggesting that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of living in big cities. This stance is evident in the conclusion where the writer states, "Overall, it is my opinion that the advantages are more than the disadvantages."
- How to improve: While it’s essential to present a clear position, ensure that it’s supported by strong arguments and evidence throughout the essay. Provide balanced consideration of both perspectives to strengthen the credibility of the position taken.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities, but they could be further extended and supported. For instance, while discussing the benefits, elaborating on specific examples of global education opportunities and social interactions would enhance the depth of analysis. Similarly, for the drawbacks, providing more detailed examples and perhaps discussing potential solutions would strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: Extend each idea by providing more specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes to support the arguments. Additionally, consider incorporating counterarguments to present a more nuanced discussion of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities. However, there are some instances where the connection to the topic could be clearer. For example, the discussion on meeting foreigners may seem somewhat tangential unless directly linked to the advantages of cultural diversity in cities.
- How to improve: Ensure that every point discussed directly relates to the advantages or disadvantages of living in big cities. Avoid tangents that do not significantly contribute to the overall discussion. If discussing social interactions, tie them directly to the benefits or drawbacks of urban living.

Overall, while the essay adequately addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position, there is room for improvement in providing more detailed and supported arguments while ensuring a tighter focus on the topic throughout the essay. Strengthening these aspects will enhance the coherence and effectiveness of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization. It starts with an introduction that presents the topic but lacks clarity due to language issues ("advised to live" instead of "prefer to live"). The body paragraphs discuss advantages and disadvantages separately, which is a coherent approach. However, within paragraphs, there are instances of disjointed ideas, such as the transition from discussing benefits to drawbacks without smooth transition sentences. Additionally, the conclusion summarizes the points but doesn’t offer a strong wrap-up of the discussion.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, focus on improving coherence within paragraphs by using transition words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that links back to the main thesis. In the conclusion, reiterate the main points and provide a concise summary of the discussion.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to separate different aspects of the topic. Each paragraph discusses either advantages or disadvantages, which aids readability. However, some paragraphs lack unity, containing multiple ideas without clear segmentation. For example, the paragraph discussing benefits starts with education and employment opportunities but then abruptly shifts to social aspects like making friends. This could confuse readers and weaken the overall structure.
- How to improve: Improve paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that previews the content to follow. In longer paragraphs, consider dividing them into smaller, more focused segments to maintain coherence and clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a limited range of cohesive devices. While there are some transitional phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," they are used inconsistently and do not always effectively connect ideas. Additionally, there is a lack of variety in cohesive devices beyond basic transitions, such as pronouns, conjunctions, and parallel structures.
- How to improve: Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices to improve coherence. Use pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, employ conjunctions like "however," "moreover," and "therefore" to show logical relationships between sentences, and establish parallel structures for parallel ideas. Ensure consistency in the use of these devices throughout the essay to maintain coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices can elevate coherence and cohesion, leading to a more cohesive and effective argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. There is a fair attempt to use varied vocabulary, although some phrases are repeated, such as "megacities" and "huge urban areas." For instance, phrases like "standard of living" and "rush hours" add some diversity to the vocabulary used.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, try incorporating more precise and nuanced vocabulary. Instead of repeating phrases like "huge urban areas," consider using synonyms or alternate phrases such as "metropolitan centers" or "sprawling cities." Additionally, strive to incorporate more specific vocabulary related to the advantages and disadvantages discussed, such as specific types of pollution or forms of transportation congestion.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some precision in vocabulary usage, but there are instances where words could be chosen more precisely. For example, the phrase "standard of living" effectively communicates a concept but could be made more precise with terms like "quality of life" or "living standards." Additionally, the essay could benefit from more precise vocabulary to articulate the advantages and disadvantages discussed, providing clearer distinctions between them.
- How to improve: Aim to choose words that precisely convey the intended meaning. Consider using synonyms or more specific terms to avoid repetition and enhance clarity. For instance, instead of using general terms like "bad point" or "serious effect," employ more descriptive language to articulate the negative aspects, such as "detrimental impact" or "adverse consequences." This will elevate the precision and sophistication of the vocabulary used.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally adequate throughout the essay, with minor errors observed. For example, "detail" should be "detailed," and "advantages" is misspelled as "adavantages." However, these errors do not significantly impede comprehension.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider employing proofreading techniques such as spell-checking tools or reading the essay aloud to identify and correct errors. Additionally, expanding vocabulary through reading and practicing spelling of commonly misspelled words can help enhance spelling proficiency. Taking the time to review and revise written work thoroughly before submission can also minimize spelling mistakes and ensure greater accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fairly wide range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, simple sentences like "People hold different opinions about living in megacities" are used alongside compound sentences such as "Some assert that people are advised to live in large cities, while others, however, it is a good idea for living in huge urban areas." Additionally, complex sentences like "To be more detail, in megacities, there are a huge number of international schools and companies that can help people easily access global education and have a decent salary" showcase a variety in sentence structure.
- How to improve: To further enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as using subordinate clauses or varying sentence lengths for improved rhythm and flow. Additionally, pay attention to maintaining clarity and coherence when using complex structures to avoid convoluted expressions.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are some instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inconsistencies throughout the essay. For example, the sentence "Others, however, it is a good idea for living in huge urban areas" lacks proper subject-verb agreement, and "To be more detail" should be "To be more detailed." Additionally, there are some missing commas and inconsistent capitalization throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread the essay for errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation. Pay close attention to articles, prepositions, and conjunctions to ensure they are used appropriately. Consider utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers to identify and correct errors effectively. Additionally, practice using punctuation marks consistently and appropriately to enhance clarity and readability.

Bài sửa mẫu

There are diverse perspectives regarding residing in large cities. Some argue that individuals are recommended to live in urban areas, while others believe it is advantageous to reside in rural regions. This essay will examine the benefits and drawbacks of this situation.

To begin with, living in big cities offers numerous advantages. Firstly, individuals have varied opportunities for education and employment. Megacities host numerous international schools and companies, providing access to global education and competitive salaries. Consequently, city dwellers enjoy a higher standard of living than those in rural areas. Additionally, megacities facilitate social interactions and the formation of new friendships, especially with foreigners, owing to their status as attractive tourist destinations.

However, this situation also presents several disadvantages. The most significant drawback of this phenomenon is traffic congestion during rush hours. This may be attributed to the large number of private vehicles, leading to frequent traffic jams. Furthermore, pollution is a common occurrence in urban areas, with air and noise pollution being particularly concerning.

In conclusion, the decision rests upon individuals to evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities. While both sides have their impacts, it is my opinion that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.