The graph below gives information about the prie of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004.

The graph below gives information about the prie of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004.

The line graph illustrates the price of bananas in four differents countries namely: Japan, France, Germany and USA in period 10 years.
Overvew, while the price of banana in Japan was highest, the price in USA was lowest and the price of banana in four countries flactuated widely.
In 1994, the banana's price in Janpan was nearly 2.00 dollars and reached a peak at nealy 3.00 dollars in 1995. After 1995, the banana's price returned to 2.00 in 1996 and rose slightly to about 2.25 in 1999. Then it decreased to about 1.65 dollars in 2001 and continuted increase to more than 2.50 dollars in 2004. At the same time in 1994, the price of banana in France was 1.65 dollars and it remained to 1997. After 1997, the banana's price in France was decreased in 1996 and flactuated from then to 2003 and hit the price at 1.55 dollars in 2004.
In two others Germany and USA the banana's price was 1.48 and 0.6 dollars, respectively. In 1994, in Germany, the price of banana decreased at 1.25 dollars in 1995 and from then to 2001, it flactuated. In 2002, the price of banana wa 1.25 dollars and remained to 2004. In USA, the price of banana was increased to 1.2 dollars in 1995 and 1996. After decreased in 1997, it returned to 1.2 dollars in 1998 and just changed a little bit in 1994. From 2000 to 2004 the price of banana was remain in 1.15 dollars.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "differents" -> "different"
    Explanation: "Different" is the correct adjective to modify "countries" in this context.
  2. "Overvew" -> "Overview"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling to "Overview" ensures proper presentation of the introductory summary.
  3. "flactuated" -> "fluctuated"
    Explanation: "Fluctuated" is the correct past tense form of the verb "fluctuate."
  4. "Janpan" -> "Japan"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling to "Japan" ensures accuracy in referencing the country.
  5. "nealy" -> "nearly"
    Explanation: "Nearly" is the correct adverb to indicate proximity or approximation.
  6. "continuted" -> "continued"
    Explanation: "Continued" is the correct spelling of the verb indicating an action persisting over time.
  7. "more than" -> "over"
    Explanation: "Over" is a more precise term to indicate a higher value in this context.
  8. "two others" -> "two other"
    Explanation: "Two other" is grammatically correct when referring to Germany and the USA as part of a group of countries.
  9. "flactuated" -> "fluctuated"
    Explanation: "Fluctuated" is the correct past tense form of the verb "fluctuate."
  10. "wa" -> "was"
    Explanation: "Was" is the correct past tense form of the verb "to be" in this context.
  11. "changed a little bit" -> "varied slightly"
    Explanation: "Varied slightly" is a more precise and formal way to describe a small change in price.
  12. "remain in" -> "remained at"
    Explanation: "Remained at" is the correct preposition to indicate a fixed price level over a period.
  13. "1994" -> "2004"
    Explanation: There is an inconsistency in the mention of the year, it should be corrected to maintain clarity and accuracy throughout the essay.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by describing the fluctuations in banana prices in four countries over a 10-year period. It provides some key details regarding the prices in each country during various years.

How to improve:

  1. Provide a clearer introduction that summarizes the main trends depicted in the graph.
  2. Organize the information more effectively, perhaps by separating the analysis for each country into distinct paragraphs.
  3. Improve sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and coherence.
  4. Ensure all relevant data from the graph is included and accurately represented in the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay presents information about the prices of bananas in four different countries over a ten-year period. However, the organization and coherence of the essay are weak. The essay lacks clear progression, making it difficult to follow the information presented. Sentences are often poorly structured, leading to confusion. Additionally, there is inconsistency in the use of cohesive devices, with some basic attempts made but often inaccurate or repetitive. Paragraphing is inadequate, with ideas presented in a disjointed manner, further affecting coherence.

How to improve:

  1. Organizational Structure: Begin by providing a clear introduction that outlines the purpose of the essay and an overview of the data presented. Follow a logical sequence when presenting the information, such as starting with an overview of all countries and then delving into individual country data.

  2. Sentence Structure: Work on constructing clear and grammatically correct sentences to enhance readability. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure coherence within each sentence.

  3. Cohesive Devices: Use a variety of cohesive devices such as pronouns, conjunctions, and transitional phrases to connect ideas and improve flow. However, be cautious not to overuse them or repeat them excessively.

  4. Paragraphing: Organize the essay into coherent paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect or country’s data. Ensure a logical flow between paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion.

  5. Accuracy and Consistency: Double-check the accuracy of data and ensure consistency in presenting information across all countries and years. This will help avoid confusion and improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some attempts to vary word choice but with noticeable errors in word formation and spelling. The essay lacks sophistication in vocabulary usage and relies on basic vocabulary. There are also errors in grammar and sentence structure, which further hinder lexical resource.

How to improve: To improve the band score, focus on expanding vocabulary range by incorporating more varied and precise lexical items relevant to the topic. Work on improving word formation and spelling accuracy. Additionally, pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and coherence in expression.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to utilize a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and issues with punctuation throughout the essay, which affect clarity and coherence. The essay lacks consistency in sentence structure, resulting in confusion in conveying ideas effectively.

How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, focus on constructing clearer and more complex sentences. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation rules. Additionally, strive for coherence by organizing ideas logically and using transitions effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs. Regular practice with sentence structure variations and grammatical rules will aid in improving overall accuracy and fluency in writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line graph depicts the fluctuating prices of bananas in four distinct countries—Japan, France, Germany, and the USA—over a decade, from 1994 to 2004.

Overall, Japan experienced the highest banana prices throughout the period, while the USA consistently had the lowest prices. Across the board, banana prices exhibited significant fluctuations.

In 1994, the price of bananas in Japan stood at approximately $2.00, reaching a peak of nearly $3.00 in 1995. Subsequently, prices dropped to around $2.00 in 1996 before a slight increase to about $2.25 in 1999. By 2001, prices had decreased to roughly $1.65, rising steadily thereafter to surpass $2.50 by 2004.

Similarly, in France, banana prices commenced at $1.65 in 1994 and remained relatively stable until 1997. Following a decline in 1996, prices fluctuated until 2003, ultimately dropping to $1.55 by 2004.

In Germany, bananas were priced at $1.48 in 1994, dipping to $1.25 in 1995 before fluctuating until 2001. Prices remained steady at $1.25 from 2002 to 2004.

Conversely, in the USA, bananas were notably cheaper, starting at $0.60 in 1994. Prices increased to $1.20 in 1995 and 1996 before a brief decline in 1997. Returning to $1.20 in 1998, prices remained relatively stable, experiencing only slight fluctuations, and settling at $1.15 from 2000 to 2004.

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