You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagram below shows the life cycle of the butterfly. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. » Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The diagram below shows the life cycle of the butterfly.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
» Write at least 150 words.

The diagram shows the 12-month life cycle of the butterfly. The trend suggests that there are 5 stages of the life cycle of this insect, from an egg, leading to the development of a fully-grown adult butterfly. At the first stage of this life cycle, an egg is laid on a milkwood leaf. 5 to 10 days later the egg is transformed into a larva. This is also called the caterpillar stage. The diagram shows significant changes in the development of the butterfly during this period of time. At the 3-week mark, the larva is changed into the pupa. The larva moults about 5 or 6 times during these weeks. The pupa can also be referred to as a cocoon. After stage three, the adult emerges from the pupa shedding it since it is no longer needed. For 2 to 3 weeks, the adult butterfly matures, and its life cycle will end after a period of 12 months. The butterfly increases in size quite a bit during these weeks, as is demonstrated in the diagram between stages 4 and 5. Overall, the life cycle of the butterfly lasts for a period of 12 months and has five stages of development as seen in the diagram above.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "trend suggests" -> "illustration depicts"
   Explanation: "Trend" typically refers to a pattern over time, which might not be the most accurate term for describing a static diagram. "Illustration depicts" better conveys the idea that the diagram is showing something visually.

2. "significant changes" -> "marked transitions"
   Explanation: "Significant changes" is a bit vague and doesn’t specify what kind of changes are being referred to. "Marked transitions" is more precise and emphasizes the shifts between stages in the life cycle.

3. "is changed into" -> "transforms into"
   Explanation: "Is changed into" is passive and somewhat awkward. "Transforms into" is more active and concise, conveying the idea of a process occurring.

4. "moults" -> "molts"
   Explanation: "Moults" is the British spelling of "molts." Since the essay seems to be written in American English, "molts" would be the appropriate spelling.

5. "emerges from" -> "emerges out of"
   Explanation: "Emerges from" is correct, but "emerges out of" adds a touch of variation and sophistication to the language.

6. "since it is no longer needed" -> "as it is obsolete"
   Explanation: "Since it is no longer needed" is somewhat informal. "As it is obsolete" is more concise and formal, conveying the idea that the pupa serves no further purpose in the butterfly’s development.

7. "quite a bit" -> "substantially"
   Explanation: "Quite a bit" is colloquial and lacks precision. "Substantially" is more formal and accurately describes the considerable increase in size mentioned.

8. "the diagram above" -> "depicted diagram"
   Explanation: "The diagram above" is redundant and unnecessary. "Depicted diagram" succinctly refers back to the diagram without repetition.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

[
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the butterfly’s life cycle. It provides a clear overview of the five stages of development, from egg to adult butterfly, and mentions key transformations such as egg to larva to pupa to adult. The main trends and differences in each stage are outlined, demonstrating an understanding of the information presented in the diagram.
How to improve: To enhance the response to a higher band score, consider providing more specific details about each stage of the life cycle, such as durations or environmental conditions. Additionally, expanding on the comparison of stages or highlighting any notable variations within the life cycle could further improve the clarity and depth of the response.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes the information by describing the five stages of the butterfly’s life cycle in a clear progression from egg to adult. There is a consistent use of cohesive devices such as transitional phrases like "At the first stage" and "After stage three" to guide the reader through the different phases. Additionally, the essay presents a clear central topic within each paragraph, focusing on one stage of the life cycle at a time.
How to improve: To further improve coherence and cohesion, the essay could utilize a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure that they are used consistently throughout the essay. Additionally, more varied paragraph structures could enhance the logical flow of ideas, potentially by incorporating topic sentences to introduce each stage of the life cycle.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary appropriate for the task of describing the life cycle of a butterfly. The writer attempts to use less common terms such as "larva," "pupa," and colloquially references "cocoon," showing an effort to employ specific and relevant vocabulary. However, there are inaccuracies and occasional awkward phrasing that somewhat impede the precision and natural flow of information. For instance, phrases like "the egg is transformed into a larva" and "the larva is changed into the pupa" could be more accurately described using terms that better convey biological processes, such as "hatches" or "develops." Additionally, the use of "moults about 5 or 6 times" could be expressed more concisely.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer could benefit from expanding their vocabulary range further by incorporating more precise and varied terms associated with biological processes. Improving accuracy in word choice will help in conveying information more effectively. Practicing the use of synonyms and learning collocations specific to biological descriptions can also enrich the lexical quality. Furthermore, refining the understanding and use of terminology directly related to the life stages of insects (such as "metamorphoses," "emerges," "instar") could provide more clarity and sophistication in the description. This practice will help in achieving a more natural and accurate use of language, pushing the score towards a higher band.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of sentence structures, including simple and complex sentences. There is effective use of transitions to connect ideas, enhancing coherence. The majority of sentences are error-free, contributing to clear communication. Complex structures, such as relative clauses ("which is also called the caterpillar stage") and compound sentences ("The pupa can also be referred to as a cocoon"), are utilized appropriately. However, some minor errors in punctuation and grammar are present, such as missing commas after introductory phrases ("At the 3-week mark, the larva is changed into the pupa"). These errors do not significantly impede comprehension but indicate less than full control of language mechanics.

How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay attention to punctuation details such as comma placement after introductory phrases and clauses. Additionally, strive for more consistent accuracy in complex sentence structures to minimize errors. Proofreading carefully can help identify and correct these minor issues, ensuring greater precision in language use.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided diagram illustrates the 12-month life cycle of a butterfly, encompassing five distinct stages from egg to fully-grown adult. Initially, an egg is laid on a milkwood leaf, transitioning into the larva or caterpillar stage within 5 to 10 days. Noteworthy alterations occur during this phase. Around the 3-week mark, the larva metamorphoses into the pupa, also known as a cocoon, undergoing approximately 5 or 6 moultings throughout this period. Following stage three, the adult emerges from the pupa, discarding it as it is no longer required. Over the subsequent 2 to 3 weeks, the adult butterfly matures, exhibiting a significant size increase as depicted in the diagram between stages 4 and 5. Ultimately, the butterfly’s life cycle spans 12 months, comprising five developmental stages, as evident in the provided diagram.