A method of producing leather goods

The process demonstrates how hide products are made for trading purposes. Overall, the procedure has 7 central steps, starting with collecting the acceptable ingredients, then transporting those raw materials to the factory, and going on the process with several small steps, after continuing with the transportation and finishing with the product retail.
Firstly, the basic substances are collected and then start to have dehydration. After this, they are taken to a factory by transport where those skins are bathed in a mixture of water and lime. The materials are then soaked in lime for some time before going through a pressing machine with large rollers that flatten them out.
Then the stuffs are dipped in tannin, which is mold of water and vegetable matter. They are then rubbed by another rolling tool and delivered to another factory by trucks. In this factory, the final products are crafted and available to consumer shops

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"hide products" -> "leather goods"
Explanation: "Leather goods" is a more precise and formal term than "hide products" and better conveys the idea of items made from animal skins.
"central steps" -> "primary stages" or "key phases"
Explanation: "Primary stages" or "key phases" sound more sophisticated and precise than "central steps" in describing the main processes involved.
"collecting the acceptable ingredients" -> "gathering the appropriate materials"
Explanation: "Gathering the appropriate materials" is a more precise and professional phrase than "collecting the acceptable ingredients" in the context of manufacturing.
"transporting those raw materials to the factory" -> "conveying the raw materials to the factory"
Explanation: "Conveying" is a more formal and precise term for moving materials from one place to another than "transporting."
"going on the process with several small steps" -> "proceeding through multiple sequential stages"
Explanation: "Proceeding through multiple sequential stages" is a more elaborate and accurate description than "going on the process with several small steps."
"finishing with the product retail" -> "culminating in retail distribution of the product"
Explanation: "Culminating in retail distribution of the product" is a more formal and specific phrase than "finishing with the product retail" and better describes the final stage of the process.
"basic substances" -> "primary materials"
Explanation: "Primary materials" is a more precise and professional term than "basic substances" when referring to the initial ingredients used in the process.
"then start to have dehydration" -> "begin the dehydration process"
Explanation: "Begin the dehydration process" is a clearer and more grammatically correct way to express the start of dehydration than "then start to have dehydration."
"those skins are bathed in a mixture of water and lime" -> "the hides are immersed in a solution of water and lime"
Explanation: "Immersed in a solution of water and lime" is a more formal and descriptive phrase than "skins are bathed in a mixture of water and lime."
"Then the stuffs are dipped in tannin" -> "Next, the hides are immersed in tannin"
Explanation: "Immersed in tannin" is a more precise and formal term than "dipped in tannin" when describing the treatment of hides in the manufacturing process.
"which is mold of water and vegetable matter" -> "which consists of water and vegetable matter"
Explanation: "Consists of" is a more accurate and grammatically correct phrase than "is mold of" in describing the composition of tannin.
"rubbed by another rolling tool" -> "processed with another rolling apparatus"
Explanation: "Processed with another rolling apparatus" is a more formal and descriptive phrase than "rubbed by another rolling tool" and better conveys the mechanical aspect of the process.
"the final products are crafted" -> "the final products are manufactured"
Explanation: "Manufactured" is a more precise and professional term than "crafted" when describing the production of goods in a factory setting.
"available to consumer shops" -> "made available to retail outlets"
Explanation: "Made available to retail outlets" is a more formal and precise phrase than "available to consumer shops" and better describes the distribution of the final products.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the task by providing an overview of the process of producing leather goods, outlining seven central steps involved. Key features such as collecting ingredients, transportation, dehydration, soaking in lime, tanning, crafting, and retail are mentioned. However, the details provided are somewhat limited and lack depth, and there are instances of inaccuracies and unclear phrasing.

How to improve: To enhance the response and potentially achieve a higher band score, provide more detailed descriptions of each step in the process. Ensure accuracy in terminology and clarity in phrasing to avoid any confusion. Additionally, consider organizing the information more cohesively to improve overall coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay effectively arranges information and ideas in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression. The writer outlines the process of leather goods production in seven central steps, starting from collecting raw materials to delivering the final products to consumer shops. However, there are some areas where cohesion could be improved. For instance, some sentences lack clarity due to faulty or mechanical cohesion within and/or between them. Additionally, while the essay uses cohesive devices effectively in some instances, there are areas where referencing could be clearer and more appropriate. Paragraphing is used, but not always logically, which affects the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on ensuring that the relationships between ideas are conveyed clearly and logically. This can be achieved by using cohesive devices more consistently and appropriately throughout the essay. Additionally, paying closer attention to paragraphing to ensure a logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next would further improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering the process of producing leather goods. Some less common vocabulary is used, such as "dehydration," "tannin," and "pressing machine," which indicates an attempt to vary lexical choices. However, there are inaccuracies and inconsistencies in word choice and collocation, such as "bathed in a mixture of water and lime" (awkward phrasing) and "mold of water" (incorrect usage of "mold"). Additionally, there are occasional errors in word formation and spelling, such as "stuff" instead of "skins" and "consumer shops" instead of "retailers."

How to improve: To improve lexical resource, strive for more accurate and precise word choices and phrasing. Use a wider variety of vocabulary with greater accuracy in word formation and spelling. Proofreading for errors in word choice, collocation, and spelling would enhance the overall lexical quality of the essay. Additionally, expanding the range of vocabulary used, particularly in describing the steps of the process in more detail, would further elevate the lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, showcasing some variety in sentence structures. There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary and transitions to connect ideas. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and punctuation inconsistencies throughout the essay, such as missing articles ("the"), incorrect verb forms ("start to have" instead of "begin to undergo"), and awkward phrasing ("materials are then soaked in lime for some time before going through a pressing machine"). These errors, although they may not completely hinder understanding, do affect the clarity and coherence of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on refining sentence structures and ensuring correct verb tense usage. Proofreading for consistent punctuation and the use of articles would also help improve clarity. Additionally, expanding the range of vocabulary and employing more sophisticated transitions could elevate the overall quality of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided illustration outlines the process of leather goods production for commercial purposes. It delineates a sequence of 7 key stages, commencing with the gathering of requisite materials, followed by their conveyance to the manufacturing facility. Subsequently, a series of incremental steps ensue, culminating in the distribution of the finished products to retail outlets.

Initially, the essential ingredients are amassed and subjected to dehydration. Following this, they undergo transportation to a factory, where they are immersed in a solution comprising water and lime. Subsequent to soaking in lime for a specified duration, the materials undergo compression via a pressing apparatus equipped with sizable rollers to flatten them.

Subsequent to this, the materials are immersed in tannin, a solution consisting of water and vegetable matter. They are then subjected to abrasion using another rolling mechanism before being transported to another manufacturing facility via trucks. At this juncture, the final products are meticulously crafted and made available for purchase at consumer outlets.