The chart shows the information about Vietnamese Foreign Direct Investment rate (FDI). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The data about Vietnamese Foreign Direct Investment rate from 2018 to 2022 period and how it was distributed in the last year are illustrated by the given graphs.

At first glance, throughout the period, Vietnam witnessed a fluctuation in the FDI rate. 2019 was the year that recorded the highest investment figure from other countries. Moreover, the sector of manufacturing and processing received a substantial distribution in the last year of the period.

In 2018, the first year of the bar chart, 35,46 billion USD was invested in Vietnam. Before witnessing a plummet in 2020, the figure reached its peak in the year before with more than 38 billion USD. However, the FDI rate steeply climbed back from 28,5 to 31,15 billion USD in 2021. In the last year, the number collapsed to 27,72 billion USD as a lowest figure from the bar chart.

In addition, looking at the pie chart, the distribution of FPI was divided into 5 different sectors. Notably, manufacturing and processing was far ahead of the 4 remaining industries and took 61% of the chart while the opposite was true for science and technology. Double the number of science and technology was others with 10%. Following behind, electricity received 8% of the investment. Finally, the field ranked second which received 16% of FDI in Vietnam was real estate.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"the FDI rate" -> "FDI inflow"
Explanation: Using "FDI inflow" instead of "FDI rate" is more precise and commonly used in economic contexts to refer to the amount of foreign investment flowing into a country within a specific period.
"figure" -> "amount"
Explanation: Replacing "figure" with "amount" adds variety to the vocabulary and maintains clarity while referring to the quantity of investment.
"plummet" -> "decline"
Explanation: "Plummet" suggests a sudden and steep drop, which might not accurately represent the gradual decline indicated in the context. "Decline" is a more suitable and neutral term.
"steeply climbed back" -> "recovered"
Explanation: "Steeply climbed back" is slightly redundant and informal. "Recovered" succinctly conveys the idea of the FDI inflow returning to a previous level.
"collapsed" -> "dropped"
Explanation: "Collapsed" implies a sudden and complete failure, which might not be the case here. "Dropped" is a more appropriate term to describe a decrease in the FDI amount.
"divided into" -> "allocated among"
Explanation: "Allocated among" is a more precise and formal term to describe the distribution of FDI among different sectors.
"Notably" -> "Significantly"
Explanation: "Significantly" is a more sophisticated alternative to "Notably" and better fits the formal tone of the essay.
"Double the number of" -> "Twice as much as"
Explanation: "Twice as much as" is a clearer and more concise way to express a doubling of the quantity.
"received" -> "accounted for"
Explanation: "Accounted for" is a more precise term to describe the share or portion of FDI that each sector received.
"field ranked second which received" -> "sector ranked second, which accounted for"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and precision, "sector ranked second, which accounted for," better conveys the idea of the second-ranked sector’s share of FDI.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the given graphs. It provides a clear overview of the trends in Vietnamese Foreign Direct Investment (FDI) rate from 2018 to 2022, highlighting the fluctuations over the period. The essay also effectively compares the investment figures between the years and discusses the distribution of FDI across different sectors in the last year. Key features such as the highest investment year (2019), the fluctuation in FDI rate, and the dominance of manufacturing and processing sector are appropriately presented.

How to improve:
To improve, the essay could extend the discussion of key features and provide more specific details where relevant. Additionally, ensuring the accuracy of the data presented is crucial. Moreover, the essay could benefit from a more varied vocabulary and smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information, with a clear progression from discussing the overall trend of FDI to specific years and sectors. The introduction effectively introduces the main features of the data, while the body paragraphs delve into detailed comparisons between years and sectors. The use of transition words and phrases helps maintain coherence. Additionally, the essay utilizes cohesive devices such as pronouns ("the figure," "the number") and cohesive phrases ("at first glance," "moreover") to connect ideas within and between sentences. Each paragraph focuses on a central topic, aiding in clarity and coherence.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion further, consider varying sentence structures to add complexity and fluency to the essay. Additionally, ensure consistent and accurate referencing to avoid confusion. You may also explore more diverse cohesive devices to strengthen the connections between ideas. Finally, pay attention to paragraphing to ensure a clear and logical flow of information throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. The writer employs varied lexical items such as "fluctuation," "witnessed," "substantial," "plummet," and "collapsed," which contribute to conveying precise meanings. Additionally, less common lexical items like "distribution," "sectors," and "opposite" are used with some awareness of style and collocation. There are occasional errors in word choice, such as "FPI" instead of "FDI," and minor inaccuracies in collocation, such as "highest investment figure from other countries," which could be improved for more clarity.

How to improve: To improve, the writer should ensure consistent use of terminology, such as using "FDI" instead of "FPI" throughout the essay. Additionally, paying attention to collocation can enhance the coherence of the essay. For instance, rephrasing "highest investment figure from other countries" to "highest foreign investment figure" would improve accuracy. Finally, expanding the range of less common lexical items could further elevate the lexical richness of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, incorporating both simple and complex forms. There is a mix of sentence lengths and types, contributing to overall coherence and variety. The majority of sentences are error-free, with occasional minor errors or lapses in accuracy. Grammar and punctuation are generally well-controlled, enhancing clarity and readability.

How to improve: To further enhance grammatical range and accuracy, pay closer attention to verb agreement and tense consistency, particularly in complex sentences. Review the usage of articles and prepositions for greater precision. Additionally, aim for more consistent punctuation, especially in the use of commas to clarify meaning and aid comprehension. Further refining sentence structures to include more complex forms while maintaining accuracy will elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided data illustrates the fluctuations in Vietnamese Foreign Direct Investment (FDI) rates from 2018 to 2022, along with the distribution of investment across various sectors in the final year.

Initially, it is evident that Vietnam experienced variations in FDI rates over the specified period. The peak investment occurred in 2019, surpassing other years. Specifically, the manufacturing and processing sector received a significant portion of investment in the final year.

In 2018, the inaugural year of the bar chart, Vietnam attracted an investment of $35.46 billion USD. Subsequently, there was a decline in 2020 after reaching a peak of over $38 billion USD in the preceding year. However, there was a notable rebound in FDI in 2021, increasing from $28.5 billion USD to $31.15 billion USD. Nevertheless, the FDI figure plummeted to $27.72 billion USD in the final year, marking the lowest point during the period.

Furthermore, the pie chart illustrates the distribution of FDI across five sectors. Notably, manufacturing and processing dominated the chart, accounting for 61% of the total investment. Conversely, science and technology lagged behind, constituting only 5% of the investment. Other sectors collectively received double the investment of science and technology, at 10%. Additionally, the electricity sector secured 8% of the investment, while real estate ranked second, attracting 16% of FDI in Vietnam.