The line graph shows TV news viewing figures in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given line graph illustrates the number of viewer of four different program at different time of the days in 2020. Overall, it is evident that the figures for three programs, the 6pm, 9:30pm and 11pm significantly fluctuated during the period. On the other hand, the 1am news experienced a stable trend.
At the first stage of the year, form January to August of the year 2010, the 1pm news decreased sharply with fluctuations form almost 5 million of viewers per day to 3 millions. In addition, the figure for 9:30pm program significantly drop from 3 millions to it lowest point of 1 millions. Meanwhile, the 1pm news viewership remained stable throughout the period. The 11pm news was introduced on 1st of May and hit it peak at 4 millions in August.
In the latter part of the period, the number of viewers of 1pm news continued to keep it pace at more than 1 million. The 6pm news viewership fluctuated from August to September but in December it dropped to 3 millions. The 11pm news decreased steadily from 4 millions in August to less than 1 millions in December, meanwhile, the 9:30pm program experienced an opposite figure, rised from 1 million to 3 millions of viewer, which made it the second most viewed program.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"viewer" -> "viewers"
Explanation: "Viewer" is singular, while "viewers" is the plural form, which is appropriate when discussing multiple people watching a program.
"program" -> "programs"
Explanation: "Program" should be pluralized to match the context of discussing multiple TV programs.
"different time of the days" -> "different times of the day"
Explanation: The phrase "different times of the day" is grammatically correct and more precise in describing various periods within a day.
"form January to August of the year 2010" -> "from January to August of 2020"
Explanation: Correcting the typo and ensuring consistency with the stated year, which is 2020.
"fluctuations form almost 5 million of viewers" -> "fluctuations from almost 5 million viewers"
Explanation: This change corrects the grammatical error and makes the sentence clearer by removing the unnecessary preposition "of" after "million."
"drop from 3 millions" -> "drop from 3 million"
Explanation: "Millions" should be singular in this context to correctly indicate a specific number.
"it lowest point" -> "its lowest point"
Explanation: "Its" is the possessive form, while "it" is a pronoun. "Its" is the appropriate choice to indicate possession by the noun "point."
"hit it peak" -> "hit its peak"
Explanation: Similar to the previous error, "its" is the correct possessive form, while "it" is a pronoun.
"form August to September" -> "from August to September"
Explanation: Correcting the typo in the word "from" to maintain proper grammar.
"rised from 1 million" -> "rose from 1 million"
Explanation: "Rised" is incorrect; "rose" is the past tense of the verb "to rise" and should be used here.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by providing an overview of the main trends in TV news viewing figures for four different programs throughout the year 2010. It identifies fluctuations and trends in viewer numbers for the different time slots. Key features such as changes in viewer numbers are highlighted.

How to improve: To improve, ensure a clearer structure and more accurate data representation. Additionally, provide a more thorough analysis of the data, avoiding irrelevant details and inaccuracies. Strive for a more concise and coherent presentation of information, ensuring each aspect of the task is adequately covered.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information in a somewhat coherent manner, with a clear attempt to organize ideas chronologically and by program. There is an overall progression from describing the fluctuation of viewership for different programs. However, there are some coherence issues, such as inconsistencies in tense usage ("form" instead of "from," "it lowest point" instead of "its lowest point") and occasional awkward phrasing ("the 1pm news decreased sharply with fluctuations"). Additionally, the essay lacks clear paragraphing, as the ideas are not separated into distinct paragraphs but rather presented as a continuous flow of information. Cohesive devices are used to some extent, but there are instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear relationships between ideas within and between sentences.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on maintaining a consistent tense throughout the essay. Ensure that ideas are organized into distinct paragraphs, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the data. Use cohesive devices more effectively to establish clear connections between ideas, such as using transition words to indicate shifts in time or topic. Additionally, review sentence structure to ensure clarity and coherence, avoiding awkward phrasing that can impede understanding.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

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Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with noticeable errors in word choice and word formation. It generally conveys the intended message, but some inaccuracies in spelling and grammar may cause slight confusion for the reader. Commonly used words like "program" and "viewership" are repeated, indicating a limited range. Errors in word choice, such as "form" instead of "from," "drop" instead of "dropped," and "rised" instead of "rose," show a lack of control in word formation.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should work on expanding their range of vocabulary and use more precise terms to describe trends and comparisons. Attention should be paid to proper word formation, avoiding misspellings and incorrect verb tenses. The writer should also aim to use a variety of synonyms to avoid repetition and improve lexical flexibility. Reviewing and editing for errors would help in reducing inaccuracies and providing a clearer message to the reader.
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Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences. There is an effort to vary the sentence structures, although some sentences lack clarity due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. There are instances of complex sentences, but their accuracy is inconsistent. Additionally, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, which can cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning. Punctuation errors are also present, further affecting the clarity of the writing.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on enhancing sentence structures by incorporating a wider variety of complex sentence forms with accuracy. Pay close attention to grammar rules and ensure consistency in verb tense usage. Review and revise the essay to correct punctuation errors and ensure clarity of expression. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or instructors to identify and address areas of improvement in grammar and sentence structure.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided line graph delineates the viewership statistics for four distinct television programs at various times throughout the day in the year 2010. Overall, notable fluctuations are observed in the viewership trends of three programs—those airing at 6 PM, 9:30 PM, and 11 PM—while the program at 1 AM maintains a consistent trend.

Initially, from January to August 2010, the viewership of the 1 PM program experienced a significant decline, plummeting from nearly 5 million viewers per day to 3 million. Concurrently, the viewership of the 9:30 PM program sharply decreased from 3 million to its lowest point of 1 million. Conversely, the 1 AM news maintained stability throughout this period. The introduction of the 11 PM news in May saw a peak of 4 million viewers in August.

In the latter months of the year, the viewership of the 1 PM program persisted, consistently exceeding 1 million viewers. The 6 PM program witnessed fluctuations from August to September, followed by a decline to 3 million viewers in December. In contrast, the viewership of the 11 PM news steadily declined from 4 million in August to less than 1 million in December. Meanwhile, the 9:30 PM program experienced an inverse trend, rising from 1 million to 3 million viewers, thereby becoming the second most-watched program.