The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual ’ income in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual ’ income in 2007, 2011 and 2015.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given bar chart compares the income distribution of American households in the three year 2007, 2011 and 2015.
From an overall perspective, it is clear that there was a spread of annual incomes without a significant growth of any income bracket.
In 2007, about 30 million households in the US earned $100,000 or more yearly, being the biggest share, compared to around 27 million households and 25 million households receiving $25,000-$49,999 and less than $ 25,000, respectively. The figure for "$50,00-$74,999" bracket was lower, at above 20 million. The number of US households making $75,000-$99,999, however, was the least, at nearly 15 million.
In the following years, the quantities of American families earning less than $25,000 and $25,000-$49,999 increased mildly to approximately 28 million and 30 million in 2011, correspondingly, then these figures went down minimally to around 27 million each by 2015. Additionally, a moderate increase could be seen in the figures for "$75,000-$99,999" and "$100,000 or more" brackets, rising to 15 million and roughly 33 million, respectively in 2015. The figure for "$50,000-$74,999" bracket, however, remained relatively unchanged through years.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "spread of annual incomes" -> "distribution of annual incomes"
    Explanation: Using "distribution" instead of "spread" is more precise and commonly used in discussing income disparities.

  2. "without a significant growth of any income bracket" -> "without significant growth in any income bracket"
    Explanation: This change improves the clarity and flow of the sentence by removing the unnecessary article "a" and adjusting the structure for smoother reading.

  3. "about 30 million households in the US earned $100,000 or more yearly, being the biggest share" -> "approximately 30 million households in the US earned $100,000 or more annually, representing the largest segment"
    Explanation: This revision enhances the precision and formality of the statement by using "approximately" instead of "about," specifying "annually" instead of "yearly," and replacing "being the biggest share" with "representing the largest segment" for clearer expression.

  4. "The figure for "$50,00-$74,999" bracket was lower, at above 20 million." -> "The number of households in the "$50,000-$74,999" bracket was lower, at just over 20 million."
    Explanation: The revised sentence clarifies the subject ("number of households") and provides a more precise description of the quantity ("just over 20 million").

  5. "In the following years, the quantities of American families earning less than $25,000 and $25,000-$49,999 increased mildly to approximately 28 million and 30 million in 2011, correspondingly, then these figures went down minimally to around 27 million each by 2015." -> "In the subsequent years, the number of American families earning less than $25,000 and those earning $25,000-$49,999 increased modestly to approximately 28 million and 30 million in 2011, respectively. However, these figures then decreased slightly to around 27 million each by 2015."
    Explanation: This revision improves clarity by specifying the years each income level refers to and by rephrasing to avoid repetition ("increased mildly" and "went down minimally" changed to "increased modestly" and "decreased slightly").

  6. "Additionally, a moderate increase could be seen in the figures for "$75,000-$99,999" and "$100,000 or more" brackets, rising to 15 million and roughly 33 million, respectively in 2015." -> "Moreover, there was a moderate increase in the number of households in the "$75,000-$99,999" and "$100,000 or more" brackets, rising to 15 million and approximately 33 million, respectively, in 2015."
    Explanation: This revision clarifies the sentence by specifying that the increase refers to the number of households, not just the figures, and by providing clearer language and structure.

  7. "The figure for "$50,000-$74,999" bracket, however, remained relatively unchanged through years." -> "However, the number of households in the "$50,000-$74,999" bracket remained relatively stable over the years."
    Explanation: This revision improves clarity by specifying that the stability refers to the number of households, not just the figure, and by providing a clearer expression.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

[
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the income distribution of American households over three years. It presents a clear overview of the main trends in income distribution and makes relevant comparisons between the years. Key features, such as the distribution of households across income brackets, are highlighted and illustrated appropriately.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could further extend its analysis by providing more specific details within each income bracket, such as percentage changes over the years. Additionally, ensuring clarity and precision in language would enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and effectively organizes information chronologically, presenting a logical progression of ideas. The introduction succinctly outlines the purpose of the chart, providing a clear overview of the data to be discussed. Each paragraph focuses on a specific income bracket, facilitating easy comprehension for the reader. Transitions between years are smooth, allowing for seamless comparison of the data. Cohesive devices such as "From an overall perspective," "In the following years," and "Additionally" aid in connecting ideas and maintaining coherence. Overall, the essay logically organizes information and ideas, with a clear progression throughout.

How to improve:
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider varying the sentence structure and introducing more sophisticated cohesive devices. Additionally, ensure that referencing is consistently clear and appropriate throughout the essay. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more definitive conclusion summarizing the main trends observed in the data.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay uses an adequate range of vocabulary appropriate for the task. There is some variety in word choice and an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as "distribution," "brackets," and "correspondingly." However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling/word formation that impact clarity and fluidity. For example, the use of "the three year 2007, 2011 and 2015" has grammatical issues, and the repetition of phrases like "approximately" and "roughly" could indicate a limited range of vocabulary. Additionally, phrases like "mildly," "minimally," and "moderate" might not be the most precise choices to describe trends or changes in data.

How to improve:
To improve the lexical resource score, focus on the following:

  • Expand Vocabulary: Use a wider variety of synonyms and related terms to describe data trends and comparisons. Instead of repeating similar words or phrases, try to find alternative expressions.
  • Avoid Repetitive Phrasing: Repetitive use of certain terms can make the writing feel limited in range. Consider rewording or restructuring sentences to add variety.
  • Enhance Precision: Choose more accurate vocabulary to describe data trends. Use specific terms to quantify changes, such as "a slight increase," "a marginal drop," or "a significant rise."
  • Correct Minor Errors: Pay attention to grammar and word formation. Correct inaccuracies in word choice, spelling, or sentence structure to ensure clearer communication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good variety of complex sentence structures, contributing to a clear and coherent presentation of information. The candidate effectively utilizes subordinate clauses and employs a mix of sentence forms to convey information. There is frequent use of error-free sentences, and overall, there is a good level of control over grammar and punctuation. The essay effectively summarizes the information presented in the chart, making comparisons between income brackets over the years.

How to improve:
To further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the candidate could aim for greater consistency in punctuation usage and strive for even fewer errors. Additionally, varying the sentence structures even more can add depth to the essay. Finally, ensuring that complex sentences are consistently accurate can elevate the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar chart illustrates the income distribution among American households across the years 2007, 2011, and 2015.

Overall, it is evident that there was a varied distribution of annual incomes over the specified period, with no significant growth observed in any income bracket.

In 2007, the largest proportion of households, approximately 30 million, had an annual income of $100,000 or more. This was followed by around 27 million households earning between $25,000 and $49,999, while roughly 25 million households had incomes below $25,000. The number of households falling into the "$50,000-$74,999" bracket was slightly lower, at just above 20 million, and those earning between $75,000 and $99,999 were the least numerous, at nearly 15 million.

Subsequently, in 2011, there was a mild increase in the number of households earning less than $25,000 and those earning between $25,000 and $49,999, reaching approximately 28 million and 30 million respectively. These figures then decreased slightly to around 27 million each by 2015. Meanwhile, there was a moderate rise in the number of households earning between $75,000 and $99,999, and those earning $100,000 or more, reaching 15 million and roughly 33 million respectively in 2015. However, the number of households in the "$50,000-$74,999" bracket remained relatively stable throughout the years.

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