The provided diagrams illustrate the evolution of a local museum and its surroundings over a span of five decades, from 1957 to 2007.

The image depicts the transformation of a small local museum and its surroundings over five decades, from 1957 to 2007.

Overall, the images illustrate the evolution of a small/modest museum into a comprehensive educational hub, adapting to changing needs and interests over time.
In 1957, the museum stood amidst a serene garden, surrounded by trees. A road ran adjacent to it. Internally, the structure featured an entrance hall leading to a national history exhibition on the left, a local history room on the right, and a museum store-room at the back of the museum.
Fast forward to 2007, and significant development has occurred. Tree had been cut down to make space for additional facilities, which enhance the museum’s offerings. These included a new construction accommodating new entrance and the new museum shop, necessitating being relocated to make room for a new café. Additionally, a new reception occupied in the bottom right corner where once stood the former local history room. This caused the latter facility to expand toward the center. The project also introduced an area for special exhibitions, and an education center, which were positioned at the southern end of the new museum.
In conclusion, the modernized layout reflects an expansion in both infrastructure and services, catering to a broader community.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"small local museum" -> "modest provincial museum"
Explanation: Replacing "small local museum" with "modest provincial museum" adds sophistication by using more precise and nuanced language. "Provincial" conveys the idea of being characteristic of a smaller region or community, enhancing the description of the museum’s scale and significance.
"adapting to changing needs and interests" -> "responding to evolving demands and preferences"
Explanation: "Responding to evolving demands and preferences" elevates the description by using more dynamic and precise language. "Evolving demands and preferences" suggests a broader range of changes, encompassing both needs and interests, and implies a more proactive approach.
"Internally, the structure featured" -> "Internally, the edifice boasted"
Explanation: Replacing "structure featured" with "edifice boasted" introduces a more sophisticated term, "edifice," which refers to a large, imposing building, enhancing the description’s formality and elegance.
"significant development has occurred" -> "significant transformation has transpired"
Explanation: "Significant transformation has transpired" elevates the language by using a more formal and dynamic term. "Transpired" suggests a process unfolding over time, emphasizing the comprehensive changes that have occurred.
"Tree had been cut down" -> "Trees were felled"
Explanation: "Trees were felled" offers a more vivid and descriptive alternative, conveying the action more precisely. "Felled" specifically denotes the cutting down of trees, enhancing clarity and imagery.
"new construction" -> "additional infrastructure"
Explanation: "Additional infrastructure" provides a broader and more encompassing term than "new construction," which could refer solely to buildings. This change captures the various types of additions made to the museum’s facilities.
"necessitating being relocated" -> "requiring relocation"
Explanation: "Requiring relocation" is a more concise and active phrase than "necessitating being relocated," maintaining clarity while improving readability and flow.
"occupying in the bottom right corner" -> "occupying the bottom right corner"
Explanation: Removing "in" from "occupying in the bottom right corner" improves grammatical correctness and clarity without altering the intended meaning.
"toward the center" -> "towards the center"
Explanation: "Towards" is the preferred variant of "toward" in British English, which is more commonly used in formal writing.
"catering to a broader community" -> "serving a more diverse demographic"
Explanation: "Serving a more diverse demographic" offers a more precise and inclusive description of the museum’s expanded scope, emphasizing its reach beyond just a broader community to encompass various demographic groups.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay effectively covers the requirements of the task by presenting a clear overview of the main trends in the evolution of the museum and its surroundings over the specified time period. It provides a detailed comparison between the initial state in 1957 and the developments by 2007, highlighting key changes and expansions.
How to improve: To improve and potentially reach a higher band score, consider providing more specific details about the features introduced in the modernized museum and how these changes cater to the broader community. Additionally, ensure that all information presented is relevant and directly contributes to the overall understanding of the transformation over time.
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Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay logically organizes the information by providing a clear overview of the museum’s evolution over five decades, from 1957 to 2007. It sequentially describes the changes, starting from the initial setup in 1957 to the developments in 2007. Each paragraph focuses on a specific timeframe, maintaining coherence and progression throughout the essay. Additionally, cohesive devices such as temporal markers ("In 1957", "Fast forward to 2007", "In conclusion") help in guiding the reader through the timeline of events. The central topic of each paragraph is well-defined, addressing different aspects of the museum’s evolution.

How to improve: To further improve coherence and cohesion, ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs. Use more varied cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences, enhancing the flow of information. Additionally, pay attention to paragraphing to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single aspect or development, avoiding potential confusion for the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in conveying ideas. There is effective use of vocabulary to describe the evolution of the museum and its surroundings. The essay utilizes some less common lexical items, such as "serene," "adjacent," "necessitating," "comprehensive," and "modernized," which contribute to the overall clarity and sophistication of the language. There is also an attempt to vary the vocabulary, although some terms like "fast forward" could be replaced with more formal language. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as "Tree" instead of "Trees" and "occupied in" which could be improved to "occupied." Overall, the lexical resource demonstrates awareness of style and collocation, with only minor errors.

How to improve:
To enhance lexical resource, strive for more precise word choices and avoid minor errors in word formation and collocation. Additionally, aim for greater variety in vocabulary usage and consider using more formal language where appropriate, especially in academic contexts like the IELTS exam. Proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors can further improve the overall lexical quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation:
The essay showcases a mixture of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance according to the provided band descriptor. While the essay attempts to use complex structures, such as compound and complex sentences, the accuracy in these structures is inconsistent. There are noticeable grammatical issues, including tense inconsistencies (e.g., "Tree had been cut down" should be "Trees were cut down") and awkward phrasing ("necessitating being relocated" could be more cleanly expressed). However, these errors do not significantly hinder comprehension but do detract from the overall fluency and can occasionally interrupt the natural flow of information.

How to improve:
To improve towards a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing the accuracy of complex sentence structures. This can be achieved by:

Reviewing and practicing grammatical structures, especially those involving verb tenses and agreement.
Simplifying overly complex sentences to ensure clarity and correctness before gradually adding complexity.
Reading professionally written texts to observe the application of complex grammatical structures in context.
Seeking feedback on written work to identify and correct recurrent grammatical errors, and practicing specific exercises to address these weaknesses.
Using punctuation correctly to aid the clarity and effectiveness of sentences, enhancing the overall readability of the text.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided diagrams delineate the metamorphosis undergone by a modest local museum and its environs over a period spanning five decades, commencing from 1957 and culminating in 2007.

Overall, the depictions portray the progression of the museum from its humble beginnings to a multifaceted educational establishment, adept at adapting to evolving requisites and interests across time. In 1957, the museum was ensconced within a tranquil garden, enveloped by verdant foliage, with a thoroughfare running adjacent to it. Internally, the edifice comprised an entry foyer leading to a national history exhibit on the left, a local history chamber on the right, and a repository at the rear.

Fast forward to 2007, substantial advancements have transpired. Trees have been felled to accommodate expanded facilities, augmenting the museum’s repertoire. These enhancements encompassed the erection of a new structure housing an updated entrance and a contemporary museum boutique, necessitating the relocation of the latter to make way for a newly introduced café. Moreover, a novel reception area now occupies the lower right corner, displacing the erstwhile local history chamber and prompting its enlargement towards the center. Furthermore, the endeavor engendered the establishment of areas dedicated to specialized exhibitions and an educational center, situated at the southern extremity of the renovated museum.

In summation, the reconfigured layout delineates an augmentation in both infrastructure and amenities, catering to a broader spectrum of the community’s needs and interests.