The line graph below shows the household recycling rates in three different countries between 2005 and 2015.

The line graph compares the rates of household recycling in the UK, france, germany throughout the period .
Overall, there was an increase in the household recycling rates in the uk and germany, while a decline was seen in france. In addition, the rates in france started at first place followed by the uk and germany respectively in 2005,saw opposite changing the recycling household rates in the uk rising to first place and that of france fall to third place in the end of period.

The share of household recycling rates in the UK started at approximately 35% in 2005, and then witnessed no change in the next two years, after which it saw a significant increase to just over 60% in 2015. Similarly, the figure for Germany rose dramatically from exactly 20% in 2005 to well over 55% in 2015.
By contrast, Exactly 50% of the rates of housdehold recycling in France with the highest figure in 2005 , with a subsequent reduction to 30% in 2013, and undergoing a slight recovery to 40% in the end of period.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"france" -> "France"
Explanation: Capitalizing "France" maintains consistency and conforms to standard English capitalization rules for proper nouns.
"germany" -> "Germany"
Explanation: Similar to the previous point, capitalizing "Germany" is necessary for correctness and consistency in writing.
"throughout the period" -> "over the period"
Explanation: "Over the period" is a more precise and idiomatic phrase to indicate the duration covered by the graph.
"there was an increase" -> "an increase was observed"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence to "an increase was observed" enhances clarity and formality by employing a more active voice.
"while a decline was seen" -> "whereas a decline occurred"
Explanation: "Whereas a decline occurred" is a more formal and precise way to express the contrast between the increase in the UK and Germany and the decline in France.
"In addition" -> "Moreover"
Explanation: "Moreover" is a more sophisticated transition word, indicating an additional point with a smoother transition.
"started at first place" -> "began in first place"
Explanation: "Began in first place" is a more precise and concise way to describe the initial ranking of France in household recycling rates.
"followed by" -> "followed closely by"
Explanation: Adding "closely" enhances the description of the sequence of rankings, providing a clearer picture of the proximity between the UK and Germany.
"saw opposite changing" -> "witnessed a reversal in"
Explanation: "Witnessed a reversal in" conveys the idea of a change in direction more effectively than "saw opposite changing."
"household recycling rates" -> "rates of household recycling"
Explanation: Placing "rates of household recycling" in this order improves readability and conforms to standard English syntax.
"rise" -> "rose"
Explanation: "Rose" is the correct past tense form of the verb "rise" in this context.
"fall" -> "fell"
Explanation: Similarly, "fell" is the appropriate past tense form of the verb "fall" here.
"the end of period" -> "the end of the period"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "period" makes the phrase grammatically correct and clearer in meaning.
"share of household recycling rates" -> "percentage of household recycling"
Explanation: "Percentage of household recycling" is a more concise and precise expression than "share of household recycling rates."
"witnessed no change" -> "remained stable"
Explanation: "Remained stable" is a more dynamic and formal way to express the lack of change in the household recycling rates.
"figure for" -> "percentage for"
Explanation: Using "percentage for" clarifies that the reference is to the percentage of household recycling rates.
"rose dramatically" -> "experienced a significant rise"
Explanation: "Experienced a significant rise" provides a more descriptive and formal alternative to "rose dramatically."
"Exactly 50%" -> "The rate reached 50%"
Explanation: "The rate reached 50%" is a clearer and more formal way to express the percentage.
"rates of housdehold recycling" -> "household recycling rates"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling to "household recycling" ensures accuracy in the description of the data.
"undergoing a slight recovery" -> "experiencing a slight recovery"
Explanation: "Experiencing a slight recovery" is a more active and formal way to describe the change in household recycling rates.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

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Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by comparing household recycling rates in three different countries over a specific period. It provides an overview of the trends, noting increases in the UK and Germany and a decline in France. However, there are issues with clarity and accuracy. For instance, the statement "the rates in France started at first place followed by the UK and Germany respectively in 2005" is unclear, as it’s not evident what "first place" refers to. Additionally, there are inaccuracies in reporting the specific percentages, such as stating "Exactly 50% of the rates of household recycling in France" without specifying which year this refers to.
How to improve: Ensure clarity and precision in language. Provide specific and accurate data points to support the analysis. Avoid vague statements and ensure coherence in the presentation of information. Consider organizing the essay with clearer paragraph structure for better readability. ]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from discussing the recycling rates of the three countries to comparing their changes over time. However, there are some issues with cohesion within and between sentences. For instance, there are instances of faulty or mechanical cohesion, such as repetitive use of phrases like "household recycling rates" and "the rates in [country]." Additionally, there are minor grammatical errors that slightly impede clarity.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices more effectively. Vary sentence structures and vocabulary to avoid repetition. Additionally, ensure that references are clear and appropriately used. Reviewing and editing for grammatical accuracy will also enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, pay attention to logical paragraphing to improve the flow of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task. It uses terms like "household recycling rates," "line graph," "decline," "increase," "significant increase," "dramatically," "subsequent reduction," "undergoing a slight recovery," etc., which show an attempt to address the topic with varied vocabulary. However, there are some instances of inaccuracies and repetitive word choices, such as "recycling rates" being repeated frequently without much variation.

How to improve: To improve the Lexical Resource score, focus on using a wider variety of vocabulary related to the topic. Avoid repeating the same phrases and explore synonyms or related terms. Additionally, pay attention to accuracy in word choice to convey precise meanings and avoid potential errors.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt at using a variety of sentence structures and includes both simple and complex sentences. There is an effort to vary the sentence structure, but some sentences lack complexity or clarity, leading to a limited range of structures overall. The essay makes an effort to use complex sentences, but they tend to be less accurate than simpler ones. Grammatical errors are frequent, and punctuation is often faulty, causing some difficulty for the reader. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("the rates… saw opposite changing"), word choice ("first place followed by the uk"), and punctuation errors (missing commas after introductory phrases).

How to improve: To improve the score, focus on using a wider range of sentence structures with greater accuracy. Practice constructing more complex sentences while ensuring clarity and accuracy. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, word choice, and punctuation. Review and revise the essay carefully to correct grammatical errors and improve overall coherence. Additionally, strive for clearer organization and smoother transitions between ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line graph compares the household recycling rates in the UK, France, and Germany over the period from 2005 to 2015.

Overall, there was an upward trend in the recycling rates in the UK and Germany, while France experienced a decline. Initially, France led with the highest recycling rates, followed by the UK and Germany. By the end of the period, this trend had reversed, with the UK ascending to the forefront, and France dropping to the lowest position.

In 2005, the UK’s recycling rate began at approximately 35%. It remained stable for the next two years before experiencing a significant rise, reaching just over 60% by 2015. Germany, starting from a lower base of exactly 20% in 2005, also saw a dramatic increase, culminating in a rate of slightly above 55% by the end of the decade.

In contrast, France started at 50%, the highest rate among the three countries in 2005. However, it saw a notable decrease to 30% by 2013, followed by a modest recovery to 40% by 2015.

This analysis demonstrates differing trends in household recycling among the three countries over the specified period.