The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the chart under shows details on the percentage of British people funding their money by age range between 1990 and 2010. It begin to enhance from the start and go down at the middle till the end in 1990. However, in 2010, the percentage keep going on upper and alittle decreasing from elder.

As you can see, in 1990, the highest number of british people who is doing charity is about 40 percent to 45 percent. It is a gap about 26 percent if we compare the highest and the lowest for nearly 17 percentt.

For the 2010, people are more likely to giving their money in 51 years old to 65, it just about 40 percent. And for the one who have justgraduated is just little more than 5 percent. It lower than the lowest in 1990 for about 10 percent.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"under shows" -> "below illustrates"
Explanation: Using "below illustrates" instead of "under shows" adds sophistication to the sentence by employing more formal vocabulary.
"It begin to enhance" -> "It began to increase"
Explanation: Replacing "It begin to enhance" with "It began to increase" improves the accuracy and clarity of the statement by using the correct verb tense.
"keep going on upper" -> "continues to rise"
Explanation: "continues to rise" is a more precise and advanced phrase than "keep going on upper," enhancing the clarity and sophistication of the description.
"alittle decreasing" -> "slightly decreasing"
Explanation: "slightly decreasing" is a more precise and formal term than "alittle decreasing," improving the overall quality of the sentence.
"is about 40 percent to 45 percent" -> "ranges from 40 percent to 45 percent"
Explanation: "ranges from 40 percent to 45 percent" is a more precise and advanced way to express the variation in percentages, making the statement more detailed and accurate.
"It is a gap about 26 percent" -> "There is a difference of approximately 26 percent"
Explanation: "There is a difference of approximately 26 percent" is a more formal and precise way to describe the gap in percentages, enhancing the clarity of the sentence.
"nearly 17 percentt" -> "almost 17 percent"
Explanation: "almost 17 percent" is a more concise and accurate term than "nearly 17 percentt," improving the overall quality of the sentence.
"people are more likely to giving their money" -> "individuals are more inclined to donate their money"
Explanation: "individuals are more inclined to donate their money" is a more formal and sophisticated way to express the idea, enhancing the professionalism of the statement.
"just about 40 percent" -> "approximately 40 percent"
Explanation: "approximately 40 percent" is a more precise and formal term than "just about 40 percent," improving the accuracy and sophistication of the sentence.
"have justgraduated" -> "have just graduated"
Explanation: Correcting the spacing in "have justgraduated" to "have just graduated" ensures proper grammar and readability in the sentence.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task by summarizing the information provided in the chart. It mentions the general trends of charity giving by age range in 1990 and 2010. However, the details provided lack clarity and coherence. The comparison between the two years is somewhat unclear and lacks specificity. The essay also contains grammatical errors and inaccuracies in the data presented.

How to improve: To improve, focus on providing a clearer and more structured summary of the information presented in the chart. Ensure that comparisons between the two years are clearly articulated and supported by accurate data. Work on improving grammar and sentence structure to enhance the overall clarity of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 3

Band Score: 3.0

Explanation: The essay lacks logical organization and coherence. The information is presented in a disjointed manner, making it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. There is a limited range of cohesive devices used, and those that are used do not effectively indicate a logical relationship between ideas. The lack of clear referencing and substitution leads to repetitive and confusing content.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing the information in a logical manner. Use cohesive devices such as transition words and pronouns to connect ideas and create a smoother flow. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the overall progression of ideas is evident throughout the essay. Additionally, work on improving referencing and substitution to avoid repetition and confusion in the content. Finally, make sure to use paragraphing logically to enhance the structure of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates the use of basic vocabulary and lacks variety in lexical resources. The essay contains repetitive and inappropriate vocabulary choices, such as "funding their money" instead of "giving money to charity." There are also errors in word formation and spelling, such as "justgraduated" instead of "just graduated." These errors and limited vocabulary choices make the essay difficult to follow and may cause strain for the reader.

How to improve: To improve the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary that is more appropriate for the task. Avoid repetitive phrases and inaccurate word choices. Pay attention to word formation and spelling to ensure clarity and coherence in the essay. Additionally, incorporating more precise and varied vocabulary will help convey the message more effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation**: The essay demonstrates a limited range of structures with errors in grammar and punctuation. The use of simple sentences is predominant, and there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay. Punctuation is often faulty, and the errors can cause difficulty for the reader in understanding the content.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences. Paying attention to grammar rules and punctuation usage is essential to reduce errors and improve clarity in the essay. Additionally, proofreading the content for mistakes before submission can help enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided chart illustrates the percentage of British individuals contributing to charity based on age groups in the years 1990 and 2010. In 1990, the trend displayed an initial increase followed by a decline towards the end of the period. Conversely, in 2010, the percentage continued to rise overall, with a slight decrease among older age groups.

In 1990, the highest participation rate in charitable donations among British citizens was observed within the 40% to 45% range. This marked a significant difference of approximately 26% between the highest and lowest participation rates, spanning nearly 17%.

Moving to the year 2010, individuals aged between 51 and 65 showed a higher inclination towards charitable giving, with a participation rate of around 40%. In contrast, recent graduates exhibited a lower engagement, with just over 5% contributing. This figure was notably lower than the lowest participation rate recorded in 1990, showing a decrease of about 10%.

Overall, the data indicates a shift towards increased charitable contributions among British individuals in 2010 compared to 1990, particularly among the middle-aged population.