Pollution leads to numerous problems . What are cause and solution ?

In this day and age , an increasing number of pollutions is led to numerous problems . There are several solutions should be adopted to tackle these problems .

There are two reasons why pollution is led to some problems . Firstly , the increase in human population impacts directly on air quality . In addition , gas emissions from factories and exhaust fumes from vehicles are also many results of pollution .

On one hand , government can improve the air quality in many ways . To begin with , they can enact some strict laws to diminish factories’ gas emissions or request businesses use renewable energy in production . Secondly , government should encourage citizens to take public transport instead of motorbikes . Furthermore , companies may encourage environmentally friendly employee practices to contribute to environmental protection .

On the other hand , individuals must also take responsibility for environmental protection . They can wake up earlier and take subways or other means of public transportation to go to company . Moreover , children and adults can save energy by turning off electric lights when they don’t use . By this way , people can diminish the amount of electric power and exhaust fumes . Also , people shouldn’t use single – used products to avoid releasing too much waste . They can use cloth bags instead of plastic bags when they go shopping .

In conclusion ,both individuals and national governments must understand completely the serious effects which pollution causes and have some actions to protect the environment .

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"In this day and age" -> "Currently" or "In the contemporary era"
Explanation: "In this day and age" is a colloquial expression that is less formal for academic writing. "Currently" or "In the contemporary era" provide a more formal and precise introduction to the topic.
"an increasing number of pollutions is led to numerous problems" -> "a rising level of pollution is contributing to various issues"
Explanation: "an increasing number of pollutions" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "A rising level of pollution" is a more appropriate and formal phrase. Additionally, "is led to" should be replaced with "is contributing to" for clarity and precision.
"There are several solutions should be adopted to tackle these problems." -> "Several solutions should be adopted to address these issues."
Explanation: The original sentence lacks grammatical correctness. Removing "there are" and restructuring the sentence improves clarity and formality.
"There are two reasons why pollution is led to some problems." -> "Two primary reasons contribute to the problems caused by pollution."
Explanation: The phrase "pollution is led to some problems" is awkward and lacks clarity. Replacing it with "contribute to the problems caused by pollution" enhances readability and academic tone.
"On one hand" -> "Firstly" or "First and foremost"
Explanation: "On one hand" is informal and not typically used in academic writing. "Firstly" or "First and foremost" are more appropriate transitions for formal essays.
"Furthermore, companies may encourage environmentally friendly employee practices to contribute to environmental protection." -> "Furthermore, companies can promote environmentally sustainable practices among employees to contribute to environmental conservation."
Explanation: "Employee practices" is vague and lacks specificity. Replacing it with "environmentally sustainable practices among employees" clarifies the intended action. Additionally, "environmental protection" can be replaced with "environmental conservation" for precision.
"individuals must also take responsibility for environmental protection" -> "individuals must also assume responsibility for environmental stewardship"
Explanation: "Environmental protection" is a common phrase but "environmental stewardship" is more precise and formal. It conveys the idea of actively taking care of the environment rather than simply protecting it.
"They can wake up earlier and take subways or other means of public transportation to go to company." -> "They can commute earlier and utilize subways or other forms of public transportation to travel to work."
Explanation: "To go to company" is awkward and lacks clarity. Replacing it with "to travel to work" improves readability. Additionally, "wake up earlier" can be simplified to "commute earlier" for conciseness.
"Moreover, children and adults can save energy by turning off electric lights when they don’t use." -> "Moreover, individuals, including both children and adults, can conserve energy by switching off electric lights when not in use."
Explanation: "Save energy" is replaced with "conserve energy" for a more formal tone. Also, specifying "individuals, including both children and adults" enhances clarity.
"By this way" -> "In this manner" or "Through these means"
Explanation: "By this way" is grammatically incorrect. Using "In this manner" or "Through these means" maintains formality and clarity.
"single – used products" -> "single-use products"
Explanation: "Single – used products" is incorrect hyphenation. "Single-use products" is the correct term without the hyphen.
"both individuals and national governments" -> "both individuals and governmental bodies"
Explanation: "National governments" is redundant, as governments are inherently national. "Governmental bodies" is a more concise and precise term.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the causes and solutions related to pollution. It mentions human population growth affecting air quality and industrial emissions as causes. The proposed solutions include stricter laws on emissions, promoting public transport, and individual actions like energy conservation and reducing waste.
- How to improve: The essay’s coverage of the question is limited and somewhat superficial. It should delve deeper into the complexity of pollution causes (e.g., industrial processes, agriculture) and solutions (e.g., technology advancements, international cooperation).
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay’s position is discernible: pollution is a serious issue requiring action from both governments and individuals. However, the stance is expressed in a simplistic manner without nuanced reasoning or exploration of counterarguments.
- How to improve: Strengthen the position by providing more sophisticated arguments and acknowledging potential counterpoints. Consistently reinforce the central argument throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks depth and development. It briefly mentions causes and solutions without elaboration or evidence. Examples are simplistic and lack specificity.
- How to improve: Extend and elaborate on ideas with specific examples, data, or real-world instances to bolster arguments. Develop each point logically and coherently, providing thorough explanations.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic but veers into general statements without concrete detail or relevance to the central theme.
- How to improve: Maintain a focused discussion on pollution causes and solutions throughout the essay. Avoid tangential or generic statements that distract from the main topic.

Overall Feedback:
The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic but lacks depth and sophistication. To improve:

Address all parts of the question comprehensively by exploring varied causes and multifaceted solutions to pollution.
Maintain a clear and consistent position throughout the essay, supporting arguments with detailed examples and logical reasoning.
Enhance idea presentation and development by extending key points with specific evidence and real-world examples.
Ensure strict adherence to the topic to avoid drifting into general statements or irrelevant content.

By incorporating these improvements, the essay can elevate its coherence, depth, and relevance, potentially achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally follows a logical structure with clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. However, there are some instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. For example, the transition between discussing causes of pollution and proposing solutions is somewhat abrupt, lacking a smooth segue.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transition phrases or sentences to smoothly connect different parts of the essay. For instance, you can introduce the solutions by explicitly stating something like "Now let’s explore some potential solutions to address these problems caused by pollution."
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is commendable. However, the structure within paragraphs could be improved for clarity and coherence. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas, making it challenging for the reader to follow.
- How to improve: Aim for each paragraph to focus on a single main idea or aspect of the argument. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that point. Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into shorter ones to enhance readability and coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses a limited range of cohesive devices, such as transition words like "firstly," "on the other hand," and "in conclusion." While these devices help to signal the organization of ideas, their usage is somewhat repetitive, and there is a lack of variety in cohesive devices.
- How to improve: Introduce a wider variety of cohesive devices to enhance coherence and cohesion. For instance, utilize pronouns (e.g., "this," "these") to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, employ conjunctions (e.g., "however," "furthermore") to show relationships between sentences, and incorporate cohesive phrases (e.g., "as a result," "in contrast") to connect ideas more effectively. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of cohesive devices to ensure they are used strategically to guide the reader through the essay’s argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While some varied vocabulary is used (e.g., "numerous," "adopted," "impacts," "enact," "diminish," "renewable energy"), there is a tendency to repeat certain words and phrases, such as "pollution," "problems," and "environmental protection." This repetition limits the essay’s lexical diversity and impact.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, the writer should aim for greater variety in vocabulary selection. Synonyms and related terms can be employed to avoid redundancy and enrich the expression. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "pollution," alternatives like "environmental degradation," "contamination," or "toxicity" could be utilized. Additionally, exploring more nuanced vocabulary related to environmental issues and solutions would elevate the essay’s sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, but there are instances of imprecise word choice or awkward phrasing. For example, "pollutions" should be "pollution," "is led to" could be "leads to," "companies may encourage environmentally friendly employee practices" lacks specificity, and "waste" could be specified (e.g., "plastic waste").
- How to improve: Precision in vocabulary can be enhanced by paying attention to word choice and ensuring that each term is used accurately and effectively. Avoiding vague language and opting for precise terminology will strengthen the essay’s clarity and impact. Furthermore, proofreading for grammar and phrasing can help refine expression and eliminate any awkward constructions.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a mixed level of spelling accuracy. While many words are spelled correctly, there are notable errors throughout, such as "pollutions," "should be adopted," "waste," "subways," and "single – used." These errors detract from the overall professionalism and clarity of the essay.
- How to improve: Improving spelling accuracy requires diligent proofreading and attention to detail. Utilizing spell-check tools and reviewing the essay carefully before submission can help catch and correct spelling errors. Additionally, focusing on commonly misspelled words and practicing spelling through writing exercises can contribute to greater proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is a tendency towards simpler structures, and some sentences lack complexity and sophistication. For instance, while there are a few instances of complex sentences (e.g., "There are two reasons why pollution is led to some problems"), they are not consistently employed throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and variety of sentence structures, the writer should aim to incorporate more complex sentence structures, such as compound-complex sentences and clauses. This can be achieved by combining ideas more intricately and using transitional phrases to connect thoughts more effectively. Additionally, varying sentence beginnings and lengths can add richness to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a moderate level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are noticeable errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage. For instance, "pollutions is led" should be "pollution leads," "solutions should be adopted" should be "solutions should be adopted," and "use cloth bags instead of plastic bags when they go shopping" should be "use cloth bags instead of plastic bags when going shopping."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, ensuring that verbs match their subjects in number and tense. Additionally, consistent verb tense usage should be maintained throughout the essay. Proofreading for article usage (e.g., "an increasing number of pollution" should be "an increasing amount of pollution") and other grammatical errors is essential. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also be beneficial in identifying and correcting errors.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates competence in grammatical range and accuracy, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision. By incorporating more complex sentence constructions and refining grammatical accuracy, the writer can elevate the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s world, a rising level of pollution is contributing to various issues. Several solutions should be adopted to address these issues.

Two primary reasons contribute to the problems caused by pollution. Firstly, the increase in human population directly impacts air quality. Furthermore, emissions from factories and vehicle exhaust fumes are significant results of pollution.

Governmental bodies can play a crucial role in improving air quality. Firstly, they can enact strict laws to reduce factory emissions and promote the use of renewable energy in production. Secondly, governments should encourage citizens to opt for public transportation over private vehicles. Moreover, companies can promote environmentally sustainable practices among employees to contribute to environmental conservation.

Individuals must also assume responsibility for environmental stewardship. They can commute earlier and utilize subways or other forms of public transportation to travel to work. Moreover, individuals, including both children and adults, can conserve energy by switching off electric lights when not in use. In this manner, people can reduce both electric power consumption and exhaust fumes. Additionally, avoiding single-use products, such as using cloth bags instead of plastic bags when shopping, can help reduce waste.

In conclusion, both individuals and governmental bodies must recognize the serious effects of pollution and take action to protect the environment.