The diagrams below show two methods of collecting water for irrigation purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The diagrams below show two methods of collecting water for irrigation purposes.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The two pictures compare two different approaches that farmers apply to get water for their crops.

Overall, it is evident that there are differences in locations and equipment and power resources used to get water.

Looking at the first picture, one can see that the labour force plays a major role. In addition, water is taken from shallow areas of 1 to 2 metres. Besides, simple tools are utilised such as baskets made of bamboo or leather and ropes. Concerning the process, two strong men stand next to this area, and use their strength to swing the basket so the collected water is poured directly into the fields.

Different from the first ways, by using animal traction and a pulley mechanism to pull water from the well with a depth of up to 50 meters. By using oxen pulling power and using a fixed rope On the pulley, we will tie one end to the bucket and the other end to the cow's back. When the cow goes downhill, the bucket will slowly be pulled up and poured into an irrigation canal that can irrigate the field.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"the labour force" -> "the workforce"
Explanation: "Labour force" is a more general term that typically refers to the total number of people available for work. "Workforce" specifically refers to the employees or workers engaged in a particular activity or industry, which is more appropriate in this context.
"water is taken from shallow areas" -> "water is sourced from shallow regions"
Explanation: "Taken" implies a physical action of moving something from one place to another, which may not be the intended meaning here. "Sourced" is a more accurate term to describe where the water originates from.
"utilised" -> "employed"
Explanation: "Utilised" is a common term, but "employed" is more formal and precise in this context, enhancing the overall sophistication of the language.
"Concerning the process" -> "Regarding the process"
Explanation: "Concerning" is somewhat informal and can be replaced with "Regarding," which is more appropriate for the formal tone of the essay.
"Different from the first ways" -> "In contrast to the previous method"
Explanation: "Different from the first ways" is awkward and unclear. "In contrast to the previous method" provides a clearer and more precise transition between the two methods being discussed.
"by using animal traction" -> "through the utilization of animal power"
Explanation: "Animal traction" is a bit informal and might not fully convey the intended meaning. "Utilization of animal power" is a more formal and descriptive phrase.
"pulley mechanism" -> "pulley system"
Explanation: "Mechanism" is a general term, while "system" specifically refers to a set of connected things or parts working together. "Pulley system" is more accurate in describing the arrangement for pulling water from the well.
"On the pulley" -> "Onto the pulley"
Explanation: "On" suggests a position directly above the pulley, while "onto" indicates movement toward or into a position on the pulley, which is what is meant here.
"When the cow goes downhill" -> "As the cow descends"
Explanation: "When the cow goes downhill" is a bit awkward and unclear. "As the cow descends" provides a smoother transition and clearer indication of the action being described.
"poured up" -> "drawn up"
Explanation: "Poured up" is not a standard phrase. "Drawn up" is more appropriate in describing the action of pulling the bucket of water upward from the well.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay effectively covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main features of the two water collection methods described in the diagrams. The candidate has presented a clear overview that identifies major differences such as the locations, the role of the labor force, equipment, and power resources utilized in each method. Key features of both methods are outlined: the use of manual labor and simple tools in the first, and animal traction with a pulley system in the second. Each method is described with a focus on the equipment and process, aligning well with the task’s requirement to report the main features and make comparisons.

How to improve:
To advance towards a higher band score, the response could benefit from a more developed extension of the presented features. While the key elements are identified, the candidate could enhance their response by more thoroughly discussing the implications or efficiencies of each method, providing more specific details about the equipment used, or exploring the environmental or economic impact of the methods. Additionally, ensuring that every statement directly contributes to a deeper understanding of the key differences and similarities would provide a more fully developed response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation:
The essay presents information in a coherent manner with an overall progression, beginning with an introduction summarizing the key differences between the two methods of water collection, followed by descriptions of each method. Paragraphs are used to distinguish between the two methods, enhancing clarity. However, there are some areas where cohesion could be improved. For instance, transitions between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother to enhance coherence. Additionally, while the essay generally uses cohesive devices effectively, there are instances where cohesion within sentences could be improved, such as in the second paragraph where the connection between sentences is somewhat mechanical. Overall, the essay demonstrates a clear effort to organize information logically, but there is room for improvement in the seamless flow of ideas.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on enhancing the flow between sentences within paragraphs. Use a variety of cohesive devices more effectively to create stronger connections between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on a central topic, avoiding any tangential or repetitive information. Finally, pay attention to logical progression throughout the essay, ensuring that ideas build upon each other in a clear and organized manner.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in conveying the main features of the two methods of collecting water for irrigation. The writer effectively utilizes vocabulary related to agriculture and irrigation, such as "labour force," "shallow areas," "simple tools," "pulley mechanism," and "irrigation canal." There is an attempt to use less common lexical items, such as "animal traction," which adds depth to the description. The essay also shows some awareness of style and collocation, although there are occasional errors in word choice and word formation. For instance, "By using oxen pulling power" could be improved to "By harnessing the pulling power of oxen," and "we will tie one end to the bucket and the other end to the cow’s back" could be expressed more concisely. However, these errors do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve:
To improve lexical resource, focus on refining word choice and sentence structure to enhance clarity and precision. Additionally, pay attention to collocation to ensure that words are used in natural combinations. Finally, proofreading for spelling and word formation errors can help further improve the accuracy of vocabulary usage.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating a variety of structures. Simple sentences are used effectively to convey straightforward information, while complex structures are attempted to add depth to the description. There is evidence of some grammatical errors and punctuation issues throughout the essay, but they do not significantly hinder communication.

How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure. Proofreading for punctuation errors and ensuring clarity in complex sentence constructions can also contribute to improving the overall score. Additionally, expanding the range of vocabulary and refining sentence transitions can elevate the essay’s coherence and cohesion.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided diagrams delineate two distinct methods employed by farmers to procure water for agricultural irrigation.

Overall, the comparison reveals disparities in geographical locations, equipment, and energy sources utilized in water acquisition.

In the initial depiction, human labor emerges as pivotal. Additionally, water is sourced from shallow depths ranging between 1 to 2 meters. Simple tools such as bamboo or leather baskets, along with ropes, are employed. The process involves two robust individuals stationed adjacent to the water source, employing their physical strength to swing the basket, facilitating direct pouring of water into the fields.

Conversely, the subsequent method involves animal traction and a pulley system to extract water from wells of considerable depth, up to 50 meters. Oxen serve as the driving force, pulling a fixed rope attached to a bucket. As the oxen move downhill, the bucket ascends gradually, enabling water to be poured into an irrigation canal, facilitating field irrigation.

In summary, the contrast between the two approaches underscores variations in labor reliance, depth of water sources, and the mechanisms employed for water extraction and distribution.