The maps below shows university sports courts in 1990 and now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below shows university sports courts in 1990 and now.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pictures illustrate university sports courts before and after the construction of several facilities between 1990 and 2010.
Overall, the sports courts have seen significant development in terms of repositioning and expansion of buildings, all help enhancing its convenience and accessibility.
In 1990, it can be seen that the park and the outdoor pool were located in the top left-hand and top right-hand corners respectively. Next to the swimming pool, the coffee shop and the reception were built adjacently, with the changing room perpendicular to them. Towards the South, there was a tennis stadium which included two mini-courts. Furthermore, the parking lot was constructed directly opposite the park.
At present, there are various changes have been made to the university sports courts. The pool, the café and the reception remain unchanged. However, there is a change in the location of the changing room. In addition, the fitness centre is a newly built facility which is erected next to the fitting room. All of these construction are combined into a separate area. The recreation area is converted into a basketball court and it is diminished in size also. Moreover, The tennis area is relocated to the bottom left-hand corner, it has been expanded and there is a change in the number of courts, from two to four.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "all help enhancing its convenience and accessibility" -> "all contribute to enhancing its convenience and accessibility"
    Explanation: "Contribute" is a more precise and formal term here than "help," and using the gerund form ("enhancing") maintains parallelism in the sentence structure.

  2. "In 1990, it can be seen that the park and the outdoor pool were located" -> "In 1990, it is evident that the park and the outdoor pool were situated"
    Explanation: "It can be seen" is a passive construction that can be replaced with a more direct and active phrase like "it is evident." "Situated" is a more formal alternative to "located."

  3. "the coffee shop and the reception were built adjacently" -> "the coffee shop and the reception were constructed adjacent to each other"
    Explanation: "Constructed adjacent to each other" is more precise and formal than "built adjacently."

  4. "Towards the South, there was a tennis stadium" -> "To the south, there was a tennis stadium"
    Explanation: "Towards" can be replaced with the simpler and more direct "to" in this context.

  5. "At present, there are various changes have been made" -> "Currently, various changes have been made"
    Explanation: "At present" can be replaced with "currently" for conciseness and clarity. Additionally, "have been made" should be preceded by "changes" to maintain proper subject-verb agreement.

  6. "However, there is a change in the location of the changing room" -> "However, the changing room has been relocated"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence to make the changing room the subject and using "relocated" instead of "change in the location" makes the statement more direct and concise.

  7. "The fitness centre is a newly built facility which is erected next to the fitting room." -> "The fitness centre is a newly constructed facility located adjacent to the changing room."
    Explanation: "Constructed" is more formal than "built," and specifying the location as "adjacent to the changing room" provides clearer information.

  8. "All of these construction are combined into a separate area." -> "All of these constructions are integrated into a distinct area."
    Explanation: "Construction" should be in the plural form to match the subject "all," and "integrated" is a more precise term than "combined."

  9. "The recreation area is converted into a basketball court and it is diminished in size also." -> "The recreation area has been converted into a basketball court, and its size has also been reduced."
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and using "has been converted" and "has also been reduced" maintains parallelism and clarity.

  10. "Moreover, The tennis area is relocated to the bottom left-hand corner, it has been expanded" -> "Moreover, the tennis area has been relocated to the bottom left-hand corner and expanded"
    Explanation: Combining the two sentences into one improves flow and cohesion, and removing the redundant "it has been" makes the sentence more concise.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the university sports courts in 1990 and now. It provides an overview of the changes in the layout and facilities. Key features such as the relocation of facilities and the addition of new ones are highlighted adequately.

How to improve: To improve, provide more detailed comparisons between the 1990 and present layouts, such as changes in size and specific features of the facilities. Additionally, ensure clarity in describing the changes to avoid ambiguity.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay arranges information in a generally coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from discussing the layout of sports courts in 1990 to their current state. The essay effectively uses cohesive devices to connect ideas, such as "before and after," "overall," "next to," and "at present." However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion within sentences, such as "There are various changes have been made," which disrupts the flow slightly. Additionally, while the essay does use paragraphing, it is not always logical, as some ideas could be more clearly separated into distinct paragraphs for improved organization. Overall, there is a clear attempt at coherence and cohesion, but there is room for improvement in the consistency of cohesive devices and logical paragraphing.
How to improve:

  1. Ensure consistency in the use of cohesive devices throughout the essay.
  2. Pay attention to sentence structure to avoid faulty cohesion.
  3. Consider restructuring paragraphs to enhance logical organization and clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with attempts to use less common vocabulary. The writer describes the changes in the university sports courts, utilizing terms like "repositioning," "expansion," "adjacently," and "erected," which contribute to a moderate lexical variety. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "various changes have been made" could be more precisely stated as "several changes have been implemented." Additionally, the sentence structure is somewhat repetitive and lacks complexity, which affects the overall lexical sophistication. Some errors in spelling and word formation are evident, such as "constructing" instead of "construction" and "fitting room" instead of "changing room." These errors, while present, do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve:
To improve the Lexical Resource score, focus on enhancing vocabulary diversity and precision. Utilize more sophisticated and precise vocabulary to convey ideas. Ensure accuracy in word choice and collocation to minimize errors. Also, pay attention to spelling and word formation to maintain clarity and coherence in the essay. Additionally, vary sentence structures and use more complex language to elevate the overall lexical sophistication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical range and accuracy overall. It employs a variety of complex structures, such as compound and complex sentences, contributing to the coherence and cohesion of the essay. Most of the sentences are error-free, showcasing a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors and inconsistencies in punctuation and word choice that slightly impact clarity.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, pay closer attention to punctuation consistency, especially in the use of commas and conjunctions. Additionally, strive for more precise word choices to enhance clarity and coherence. Regular practice in sentence construction and proofreading can help further refine grammatical accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided diagrams delineate the evolution of university sports facilities from 1990 to the present year, highlighting notable alterations in their layout and amenities.

In 1990, the sports complex comprised a park and an outdoor pool situated at the upper left and right corners respectively. Adjacent to the pool, a coffee shop and a reception area were positioned, with the changing rooms perpendicular to them. Towards the southern region, a tennis stadium, featuring two miniature courts, was located. Additionally, a parking lot was established directly opposite the park.

In the contemporary layout, several modifications are evident. Notably, the pool, café, and reception areas remain unchanged. However, there has been a relocation of the changing rooms. Furthermore, a new addition to the infrastructure is the fitness center, which now stands adjacent to the changing rooms, consolidating these amenities into a unified zone. Additionally, the recreation area has been repurposed into a basketball court, albeit with a reduced footprint. Moreover, the tennis facilities have been shifted to the lower left corner, expanded in size, and augmented in number, now comprising four courts.

Overall, the transformations underscore a substantial development in the sports complex, emphasizing enhanced functionality and accessibility through strategic repositioning and expansion of facilities.

Bài viết liên quan

Phản hồi

Email của bạn sẽ không được hiển thị công khai. Các trường bắt buộc được đánh dấu *

IELTS Writify

Chấm IELTS Writing Free x GPT

Lưu ý

Sắp bảo trì server

Để đảm bảo tính ổn định của web, web sẽ thực hiện backup dữ liệu hàng ngày từ 3h-3h30 sáng

Rất mong quý thầy cô và học viên thông cảm vì bất tiện này