The given graph shows the nitrogen oxide emission produced by four vehicles, Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons with relevant.

The line chart gives information about the nitrogen oxide emission released by four different types of transport at a variety of speeds.

It is clear that while the nitrogen oxide emission emitted from diesel cars and petrol cars has slight fluctuation when they change speed, the opposite was true for lorries and buses when they changed speed. It is also the most noticeable point between four different vehicles.

To be more specific, regarding diesel cars, the nitrogen oxide was produced when they starting to move at 10kph is nearly 10 g/km, and then this emissions reduced slightly when they boost speed at 10kph to 70kph. The nitrogen oxide released by diesel cars stopped at the lowest 5 g/km when these cars speeded up from 70kph to 130kph, this is also the lowest emissions was reduced. Meanwhile, the emissions of petrol cars remained stable around 10 g/km across the recorded speed, with exception of 120kph to 130kph, at which the discharge level rised minimally at 11 g/km to 12 g/km.

By contrast, the emissions of lorries and buses when they speeded up were so high. Specifically, when the lorries started their engines to move, the emigration of them was high at nearly 35 g/km, then decreased to nearly 15 g/km as they went faster. But at speed 90kph to 130kph, the nitrogen oxide emanation increased steeply from 16 g/km to 24 g/km. On the other hand, buses’s discharge started at 40 g/km at the lowest speed before bottoming at about 25 g/km at 60kph and increased rapidly at about 43g/km at the highest speed.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"released by" -> "emitted by"
Explanation: "Released" is less formal and slightly vague in this context. "Emitted" is more precise and commonly used in scientific and technical contexts to describe the release of pollutants like nitrogen oxides.
"slight fluctuation" -> "minimal variation"
Explanation: "Slight fluctuation" is somewhat informal and imprecise. "Minimal variation" is more formal and accurately describes the small changes in the data.
"the most noticeable point" -> "the most significant difference"
Explanation: "The most noticeable point" is vague and informal. "The most significant difference" is more specific and appropriate for academic writing, emphasizing the importance of the variation observed.
"when they starting to move" -> "when they begin to move"
Explanation: "Starting" is a less formal term. "Begin" is more precise and suitable for academic writing.
"boost speed" -> "increase speed"
Explanation: "Boost" is an informal term and can imply a sudden or dramatic change. "Increase" is neutral and appropriate for describing gradual changes in speed.
"speeded up" -> "accelerated"
Explanation: "Speeded up" is informal and can be seen as colloquial. "Accelerated" is a more formal term that is commonly used in technical and scientific contexts.
"the lowest emissions was reduced" -> "the lowest emissions decreased"
Explanation: "Was reduced" is grammatically incorrect. "Decreased" is the correct verb form to describe a reduction in emissions.
"the discharge level rised minimally" -> "the discharge level rose minimally"
Explanation: "Rised" is a misspelling of "rose," which is the correct form of the verb.
"the emigration of them" -> "their emissions"
Explanation: "The emigration of them" is incorrect and unclear. "Their emissions" correctly refers to the emissions of the lorries.
"the nitrogen oxide emanation increased steeply" -> "the nitrogen oxide emissions increased significantly"
Explanation: "Emanation" is less commonly used and can be confusing in this context. "Emissions" is the standard term, and "significantly" is more precise than "steeply," which is somewhat informal.
"On the other hand, buses’s discharge" -> "On the other hand, the emissions of buses"
Explanation: "Discharge" is not the correct term for emissions in this context. "Emissions" is the standard term, and the possessive form "buses’s" is incorrect; "of buses" is the correct possessive structure.
"bottoming at about 25 g/km" -> "reaching a minimum of 25 g/km"
Explanation: "Bottoming" is an informal term and unclear in this context. "Reaching a minimum" is clearer and more formal, providing a precise description of the lowest point in the data.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the graph, but it does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. The essay presents an overview with information appropriately selected, but the details are not always relevant or accurate. For example, the essay states that the nitrogen oxide emissions from diesel cars "stopped at the lowest 5 g/km when these cars speeded up from 70kph to 130kph," but the graph shows that the emissions actually continued to decrease slightly over this range.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more accurate and relevant details about the key features of the graph. The writer should also focus on making clear comparisons between the different types of vehicles. For example, the essay could state that the nitrogen oxide emissions from lorries and buses were significantly higher than those from diesel and petrol cars at all speeds. The writer should also avoid using unnecessary jargon, such as "emigration" instead of "emission."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a coherent arrangement of information and ideas with a clear overall progression, which aligns with the criteria for a band 6 score. The writer has attempted to use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas and sentences. However, the cohesion within and between sentences can sometimes appear mechanical, particularly with the repetitive use of the structure "the nitrogen oxide… was/is…," which could have been varied for smoother transitions between ideas.

The essay uses paragraphing, with each paragraph introducing a new aspect of the data. However, the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved to enhance the reader’s understanding of the comparison between the different vehicles’ emissions. The introduction and conclusion are functional but basic, lacking a comprehensive summary of the main trends observed.

There are instances where referencing could have been used more effectively to avoid repetition, such as the repeated mention of "nitrogen oxide emissions" without using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas. This contributes to the essay’s mechanical feel rather than a fluid narrative.

How to improve:

To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer could work on varying sentence structures and employing a wider range of cohesive devices beyond simple conjunctions. This includes using synonyms effectively to avoid repetition and employing referencing techniques to streamline the discussion.
Improving paragraphing logic by ensuring each paragraph flows naturally into the next can enhance the essay’s readability. This could involve using more sophisticated linking words or phrases to signal contrasts or comparisons more clearly.
To avoid the mechanical use of language, the writer could integrate more complex sentence forms and ensure a variety of sentence beginnings, which would make the text more engaging and less repetitive.
Practicing the clear and appropriate use of referencing (e.g., "this," "these emissions," "such levels") would help reduce repetition and improve the essay’s overall cohesion.
Finally, incorporating a brief summary sentence at the end of each paragraph could help reinforce the main points and ensure that the progression of ideas is clear to the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with attempts to use less common vocabulary. The writer provides a clear summary of the information presented in the graph, comparing the nitrogen oxide emissions of four different vehicles at various speeds. The essay includes specific details and comparisons between the vehicles, showing an understanding of the data presented.

How to improve: To improve the Lexical Resource score, the writer can focus on using more sophisticated and varied vocabulary. They can also work on using less common lexical items more accurately and consistently. Additionally, paying attention to word choice, spelling, and word formation to reduce errors can help enhance the overall lexical quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they do not significantly hinder communication. The essay provides a clear summary of the information presented in the graph, comparing the nitrogen oxide emissions of different vehicles at various speeds.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures and ensuring that grammar and punctuation errors are minimized. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure complexity to enhance the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, proofreading for errors before submission can help improve the accuracy of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line chart illustrates the nitrogen oxide emissions produced by four different types of vehicles at various speeds.

It is evident that while the nitrogen oxide emissions from diesel cars and petrol cars show slight fluctuations with changes in speed, lorries and buses exhibit the opposite trend. This distinction is the most prominent feature among the four vehicles.

Specifically, in the case of diesel cars, nitrogen oxide emissions start at around 10 g/km when they accelerate from 10kph, decreasing slightly as they reach speeds of 70kph. The emissions then drop to a minimum of 5 g/km as the speed increases from 70kph to 130kph. Conversely, the emissions from petrol cars remain relatively stable at around 10 g/km across different speeds, except for a slight increase to 11-12 g/km at speeds of 120kph to 130kph.

On the other hand, lorries and buses exhibit significantly higher emissions as they accelerate. Initially, lorries emit around 35 g/km at low speeds, which decreases to approximately 15 g/km as they accelerate further. However, at speeds of 90kph to 130kph, the nitrogen oxide emissions from lorries sharply rise from 16 g/km to 24 g/km. Similarly, buses start at 40 g/km at low speeds, decrease to about 25 g/km at 60kph, and then rapidly increase to around 43 g/km at the highest speed.