The graph below shows the production levels of main kinds of fuel in the UK from 1981 to 2000.

The graph illustrates the levels of many kinds of fuels, particularly petroleum, coal and natural gas, in the UK between 1981 and 2000.
Overall, what is notable from the chart is that Petroleum and natural gas witnessed an upward trend, with the exception of coal. Among the fossil fuels, petroleum is the highest position during the entire surveyed period.
At the start, Petroleum held the highest position at 97 levels in 1981. Slightly bellow was coal with 81 levels in 1981. At the bottom of the list was natural gas as the figure stood at 38 levels in 1981.
Afterwards, the levels of petroleum and natural gas was recorded about 137 levels and 61 levels in 1986, respectively. After that the former energy increased slowly to 142 levels in 2000. There was a strongly growth to 80 levels in the latter fuels in 1996 before jumping modestly around 115 levels in 2000. Finally, coal fuel was experienced a dramatic drop to 36 level in 1985 and then it was registered some fluctuation with a downward trend from 1986 to 1996. Finally, this energy developed weakly in 2000.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"many kinds of fuels" -> "various types of fuels"
Explanation: "Various types of fuels" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the text by avoiding the vague term "many kinds."
"particular" -> "specific"
Explanation: "Specific" is more precise and formal than "particular" in academic writing, which enhances the specificity of the discussion.
"witnessed an upward trend" -> "experienced a steady increase"
Explanation: "Experienced a steady increase" is more precise and formal, suggesting a consistent pattern rather than the more colloquial "witnessed an upward trend."
"Among the fossil fuels, petroleum is the highest position" -> "Among the fossil fuels, petroleum held the highest position"
Explanation: Adding "held" clarifies that petroleum was in the highest position at a specific point in time, improving clarity and formality.
"Slightly bellow was coal" -> "Coal was slightly below"
Explanation: "Coal was slightly below" corrects the grammatical error and improves the flow of the sentence.
"the levels of petroleum and natural gas was recorded" -> "the levels of petroleum and natural gas were recorded"
Explanation: Correcting "was" to "were" aligns with the plural subject "levels," maintaining grammatical accuracy.
"strongly growth" -> "significant growth"
Explanation: "Significant growth" is the correct term, replacing the incorrect "strongly growth," which is grammatically and contextually inappropriate.
"jumping modestly around 115 levels" -> "increasing modestly to 115 levels"
Explanation: "Increasing modestly to 115 levels" corrects the verb choice and clarifies the direction of change, enhancing the formal tone.
"Finally, coal fuel was experienced a dramatic drop" -> "Finally, coal experienced a significant decline"
Explanation: "Coal experienced a significant decline" corrects the grammatical error and uses a more formal term, "decline," which is appropriate for academic writing.
"registered some fluctuation with a downward trend" -> "experienced fluctuations with a downward trend"
Explanation: "Experienced fluctuations" is more precise and formal than "registered some fluctuation," aligning better with academic style.
"developed weakly" -> "remained relatively stable"
Explanation: "Remained relatively stable" is a more precise and formal way to describe the lack of significant change, replacing the vague "developed weakly."

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay provides a general overview of the trends in fuel production in the UK between 1981 and 2000. However, the essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends, differences, or stages. The essay also does not adequately cover the key features/bullet points. For example, the essay does not mention the overall trend of coal production, which is a significant feature of the graph.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in fuel production. The essay could also be improved by providing more detail about the key features/bullet points. For example, the essay could mention the overall trend of coal production, which is a significant feature of the graph. The essay could also provide more specific information about the production levels of each fuel type at different points in time.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates some attempt to organize information, but there are significant issues with coherence and cohesion. The essay lacks overall progression as it jumps between different points without a clear structure. There are noticeable errors in cohesion, with awkward transitions and unclear relationships between ideas. Paragraphing is inconsistently applied, contributing to the overall lack of clarity.

How to improve:

Organization and Structure: Focus on organizing the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each type of fuel, and a conclusion summarizing the trends.
Cohesive Devices: Use cohesive devices more effectively to connect ideas logically. Ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth and clear.
Paragraphing: Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and develops a single coherent idea. Avoid abrupt shifts in topics within paragraphs.
Accuracy: Pay attention to accuracy in referencing and use of vocabulary related to the data presented in the graph.

By addressing these points, the essay can improve its coherence and cohesion, thereby enhancing its overall readability and clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, with some repetition and inaccuracies that hinder clarity. While it attempts to describe the trends in fuel production, there are frequent errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation throughout the text. This results in strained comprehension for the reader. The essay relies on simplistic vocabulary and lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.

How to improve:

Expand Vocabulary: Incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary relevant to the topic of fuel production trends.
Accuracy in Word Choice: Use words more precisely to convey meanings without inaccuracies.
Improve Spelling and Word Formation: Pay attention to spelling and word formation to enhance readability and coherence.

In summary, while the essay provides some information about the trends in fuel production, its limited vocabulary range and frequent errors prevent it from achieving a higher band score for Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Bài sửa mẫu

The graph depicts the production levels of major types of fuel in the UK from 1981 to 2000.

Overall, the most striking feature of the chart is the varying trends observed in petroleum, coal, and natural gas production during this period.

Initially in 1981, petroleum dominated with production at 97 units, followed closely by coal at 81 units, while natural gas was the lowest at 38 units.

By 1986, petroleum production had risen significantly to around 137 units, whereas natural gas saw a moderate increase to approximately 61 units. Over the subsequent years, petroleum continued to experience gradual growth, reaching 142 units by 2000. Conversely, natural gas production showed more fluctuation, peaking at about 80 units in 1996 and then stabilizing at around 115 units by 2000.

In contrast, coal production started with 81 units in 1981 but sharply declined to 36 units by 1985. Thereafter, coal production fluctuated with a declining trend until 1996, after which it remained relatively stable, showing minimal growth by 2000.

Overall, while petroleum and natural gas production generally increased during the surveyed period, coal production experienced a notable decline followed by a period of fluctuation.