Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists and not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people?

Nowadays,a lot of museums and historical sites seem to only attract mainly tourists,rather than locals.This essay will discuss some reasons which lead to this problem,and a number of effective ways to attract more local people.
There are many reasons why only a small numbers of local people visiting museums and historical sites.Firstly it's easy to recognise that most of local people have been to such places at least once and they have enough knowledge about culture,traditions,history and they are to familiar with the artifacts where they live,and therefore they feel they don't need to come this place too often or even never.Moreover,the locals will spend their spare time mainly on exploring museums and historical attractions in other places ,they will be more interested in unfamiliar things than things they have been familiar with since their childhood.Therefore the majority of people visiting are mostly tourists.For instance,Hanoi natives will be more interested in visiting Phu Quoc Prison than Hoa Lo prison or they will enjoy to explore Hue Citadel rather than going to Thang Long Imperial Citadel.
Although it is very difficult to attract more local people to visit their own museums and historical sites,there are number of solutions that can be performed to encourage locals to do so.An effective way for the local government is upgrading these sites,they can provide additional historical artifacts every weeks to attract more locals or they also organise some new and unique learning activities to help the locals to better understand the local history.Secondly,free admission for children is also a good way,,this will stimulate the psychology of parents to help their children study and visit.
In conclusion, Attracting people who are already familiar with the museums and historical sites where they live is a difficult task but there are many ways to whet their curiosity and passion for discovery to do so.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays,a lot of" -> "Currently, many"
Explanation: "Currently" is more formal and precise than "Nowadays," and "many" is more appropriate than "a lot of" in academic writing.
"seem to only attract mainly tourists,rather than locals" -> "appear to primarily attract tourists rather than locals"
Explanation: "Appear to primarily attract" is more formal and precise than "seem to only attract mainly," which is redundant and informal.
"a small numbers of" -> "a small number of"
Explanation: "A small number of" is the correct phrase, as "numbers" is a plural noun that requires a singular verb form.
"it’s easy to recognise" -> "it is evident"
Explanation: "It is evident" is more formal and academically appropriate than the contraction "it’s."
"they have enough knowledge about culture,traditions,history" -> "they possess sufficient knowledge of culture, traditions, and history"
Explanation: "Possess sufficient knowledge of" is more formal and precise than "have enough knowledge about," and the use of commas and the Oxford comma improves readability.
"they are to familiar with" -> "they are too familiar with"
Explanation: Corrects the typo "to" to "too" for grammatical accuracy.
"they feel they don’t need to come this place too often or even never" -> "they feel they do not need to visit these places frequently or at all"
Explanation: "Do not need to visit these places frequently or at all" is more formal and precise than the original phrasing.
"the locals will spend their spare time mainly on exploring museums and historical attractions in other places" -> "the locals primarily allocate their leisure time to exploring museums and historical attractions in other locations"
Explanation: "Allocate their leisure time" is more formal and precise than "spend their spare time," and "locations" is more specific than "places."
"they will be more interested in unfamiliar things than things they have been familiar with since their childhood" -> "they are more drawn to novel experiences than to those familiar from their childhood"
Explanation: "Are more drawn to novel experiences" is more formal and academically appropriate than "will be more interested in unfamiliar things."
"the majority of people visiting are mostly tourists" -> "the majority of visitors are primarily tourists"
Explanation: "Visitors" is more specific and formal than "people visiting," and "primarily" is more precise than "mostly."
"Hanoi natives will be more interested in visiting Phu Quoc Prison than Hoa Lo prison" -> "Hanoi residents are more likely to visit Phu Quoc Prison than Hoa Lo prison"
Explanation: "Residents" is more formal than "natives," and "are more likely to visit" is a more precise and formal expression than "will be more interested in visiting."
"they can provide additional historical artifacts every weeks" -> "they can provide additional historical artifacts weekly"
Explanation: "Weekly" is the correct adverbial form, replacing the incorrect "every weeks."
"they also organise some new and unique learning activities" -> "they also organize new and unique learning activities"
Explanation: "Organize" is the correct verb form in American English, and removing "some" improves the formality and clarity of the sentence.
"free admission for children is also a good way,,this will stimulate the psychology of parents" -> "free admission for children is also an effective strategy, as it stimulates parental motivation"
Explanation: "An effective strategy" is more formal and precise than "a good way," and "stimulates parental motivation" is more specific and academically appropriate than "stimulate the psychology of parents."
"to help their children study and visit" -> "to encourage their children’s educational pursuits and visits"
Explanation: "To encourage their children’s educational pursuits and visits" is more formal and specific than "to help their children study and visit."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both parts of the prompt: why museums are mainly visited by tourists rather than locals, and what can be done to attract locals. It identifies reasons such as familiarity with local history and a preference for exploring unfamiliar places. However, the discussion lacks depth in explaining these reasons with specific examples or evidence.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should provide more concrete examples and elaborate on how familiarity impacts local visitation rates. It could also consider discussing cultural or social factors that contribute to this phenomenon.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that local museums are more attractive to tourists than locals due to familiarity and preference for novelty. This stance is maintained consistently throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To strengthen clarity, the essay could explicitly state the thesis in the introduction and ensure each body paragraph directly supports this viewpoint without veering into unrelated discussions.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented but lack development and support. For example, while it suggests upgrading historical sites and offering free admission for children as solutions, it doesn’t explain how these solutions would specifically attract local visitors.
- How to improve: The essay would benefit from expanding on each proposed solution. It should provide specifics on how upgrades or educational activities could appeal to locals, linking these ideas directly to increasing local engagement with museums.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by addressing why museums are visited more by tourists and suggesting ways to attract locals. However, it briefly mentions specific historical sites in Vietnam without directly connecting them to the broader discussion.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should ensure that any examples or references directly relate to the overarching argument of local vs. tourist attraction to museums.

Overall, while the essay adequately addresses the task, it could significantly benefit from deeper analysis, more specific examples, and a clearer link between proposed solutions and their expected impact on local engagement with museums and historical sites. By enhancing these aspects, the essay could achieve a higher band score by demonstrating a more nuanced understanding of the issue and providing more compelling solutions.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the reasons why local people visit museums less frequently than tourists and suggests solutions to attract them. It begins with an introduction and progresses to discuss reasons and solutions in separate paragraphs. However, the organization could be improved with clearer transitions between ideas and a more distinct separation of reasons and solutions.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider structuring the essay more distinctly into introduction, body paragraphs for reasons, body paragraphs for solutions, and a clear conclusion. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through the essay’s progression.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to separate different ideas, but the structure within paragraphs could be more cohesive. Some paragraphs lack development, while others contain multiple ideas that could be better organized.
- How to improve: Focus on developing each paragraph around a single main idea related to either reasons or solutions. Ensure each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that clearly introduces the main point, followed by supporting details and examples that elaborate on that point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as transition words ("firstly," "moreover," "secondly," "in conclusion"), but their effectiveness in guiding the reader through the essay’s structure is limited. There is room for improvement in using a wider variety of cohesive devices and integrating them more naturally within the text.
- How to improve: Incorporate cohesive devices more strategically to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Consider using cohesive devices such as pronouns ("these," "those"), synonyms, parallel structures, and more varied transition words to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic level of coherence and cohesion by organizing ideas into paragraphs and using some cohesive devices, there are opportunities for improvement. Strengthening the essay’s structural clarity, paragraph development, and cohesive device usage will help elevate its coherence and cohesion to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, covering basic aspects of the topic such as museums, historical sites, tourists, locals, artifacts, culture, traditions, history, attractions, and specific locations like Phu Quoc Prison and Hue Citadel. However, there is limited variety in expressing these concepts beyond basic terminology.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, aim to incorporate more nuanced vocabulary and phrasing. For example, instead of repeatedly using "museums and historical sites," consider alternatives like "cultural institutions" or "historical landmarks." Use synonyms and idiomatic expressions where appropriate to add depth and sophistication to your writing.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: Vocabulary usage tends to be adequate but lacks precision at times. For instance, phrases like "enough knowledge about culture" could be more precise, perhaps using "proficient in cultural understanding." The essay also occasionally repeats phrases ("historical sites," "local people") without exploring alternative terms or synonyms.
- How to improve: Work on using vocabulary more precisely by choosing words that accurately convey your intended meaning. Avoid repetitive language and explore synonyms or related terms to diversify your expression. For instance, instead of "spare time mainly on exploring," consider "dedicate leisure time to discovering."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally acceptable, with a few minor errors such as "Attracting people who are already familiar with the museums and historical sites where they live is a difficult task but there are many ways to whet their curiosity and passion for discovery to do so." Here, "whet" should be "wet."
- How to improve: To improve spelling, consider using spell-check tools or proofreading carefully. Pay attention to commonly misspelled words and practice writing to reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates competence in vocabulary usage and spelling, there is room for improvement in expanding vocabulary range, using language more precisely, and ensuring consistent spelling accuracy. By enriching your vocabulary with synonyms and precise terms, your writing can become more engaging and polished.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly employs simple and compound sentence structures. While there are attempts at complexity with conditional sentences ("Although it is very difficult…"), the range is limited. For example, there is a lack of complex sentences or varied clauses that could enhance the sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences such as relative clauses, passive voice constructions, and varied sentence lengths. This can add depth and coherence to ideas, making the essay more engaging and persuasive.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates competence in basic grammar and punctuation. However, there are notable errors throughout, such as missing articles ("number of solutions"), subject-verb agreement issues ("there are number of solutions"), and inconsistent punctuation usage (comma splices and missing commas in lists). Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice that detract from clarity.
- How to improve: Improving grammatical accuracy involves careful proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation rules. Specifically, revising sentence structures for clarity and coherence can also address awkward phrasing issues. Using simpler sentence structures where unsure of grammar complexity can aid in avoiding errors.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an adequate command of grammar and sentence structure, there is room for improvement in both the diversity of sentence structures used and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation. Strengthening these areas will enhance clarity, coherence, and overall effectiveness of communication in future writing tasks.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, many museums and historical sites primarily attract tourists rather than locals. This essay will explore the reasons behind this trend and propose effective strategies to draw more local visitors.

There are several reasons why only a small number of local people visit museums and historical sites. Firstly, it is evident that locals often visit these places at least once, gaining sufficient knowledge of their culture, traditions, and history. As a result, they feel they do not need to visit frequently, if at all. Moreover, locals tend to allocate their leisure time exploring museums and historical attractions in other locations, preferring novel experiences over those familiar from their childhood. Consequently, the majority of visitors are tourists. For instance, residents of Hanoi may be more inclined to visit Phu Quoc Prison rather than Hoa Lo prison, or explore Hue Citadel instead of Thang Long Imperial Citadel.

Although attracting local people to their own museums and historical sites poses challenges, several effective strategies can be implemented. One approach is for local governments to enhance these sites by regularly adding new historical artifacts. This initiative aims to pique local interest and encourage repeat visits. Additionally, organizing new and unique learning activities can help locals deepen their understanding of local history, making the sites more appealing.

Furthermore, offering free admission for children is another effective strategy. This not only makes visits more affordable for families but also motivates parents to support their children’s educational pursuits through museum visits.

In conclusion, while attracting locals who are already familiar with nearby museums and historical sites presents challenges, there are numerous ways to ignite their curiosity and encourage more frequent visits. By continually enhancing these sites and offering engaging activities, local governments can successfully increase local engagement and appreciation of their cultural heritage.