1- In many countries , people throw away a lot of food from restaurants and shops . Why do you think people waste food in this way ? what can be done to reduce the amount of food thrown away ?
1- In many countries , people throw
away a lot of food from restaurants
and shops . Why do you think people
waste food in this way ? what can be
done to reduce the amount of food
thrown away ?
The majority of countries in the world , food loss
is a prevalent issue .Even though there are various
underlying reasons for this trend , i believe that
some pratical solutions can tackle with this
problem.
One of the primary reasons why food is wasted
because of the lack of forethought of both
individuals and restaurants . Some people prone to
stock up on food items to set aside money after
purchasing in outside , but due to their hectic
schedules, most people often refrain from
consuming them and dispose of them when they
become rancid.Meanwhile , restaurants tend to
overproduce to cater to their customers’ needs,
resulting in leftover food gone to waste .
On the other hand , there are several feasible
measures to reduce this problem that can be
implemented. The first way is that the government
can raise awareness about the negative aspects of
food waste through launching awareness-raising
programs that equip people with the knowledge
and skills to buy and manage food items , including
the costs and disadvantages of surplus food . In
addition , some restaurants employ highly
experienced supervisors to make accurate
forecasts of the amount of food needed for the
day , reducing food waste during production and
consumption.
In conclusion, the problem of food waste from
individuals and restaurants in many countries
stems from lack of planning in purchasing and
prepares meals . However, i believe that it can
resolved by organizing educational programs and
hiring professional managers .
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The majority of countries in the world, food loss" -> "Many countries worldwide experience significant food loss"
Explanation: The phrase "The majority of countries in the world" is vague and informal. "Many countries worldwide experience significant food loss" provides a clearer and more precise description of the issue, enhancing the academic tone. -
"i believe" -> "I believe"
Explanation: Capitalization of "I" is necessary in formal writing to maintain grammatical correctness. -
"pratical solutions can tackle with this problem" -> "practical solutions can address this issue"
Explanation: "Pratical" is a typographical error; "practical" is the correct spelling. Also, "tackle with" is informal and incorrect; "address" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing. -
"because of the lack of forethought of both individuals and restaurants" -> "due to the lack of foresight among both individuals and restaurants"
Explanation: "Forethought" is not the correct term here; "foresight" is the appropriate word for anticipating future consequences. "Due to" is more formal than "because of." -
"Some people prone to stock up on food items" -> "Some individuals tend to stockpile food items"
Explanation: "Prone to" is informal and less precise; "tend to" is more commonly used in formal writing. "Stockpile" is a more specific term than "stock up on." -
"to set aside money after purchasing in outside" -> "to save money after purchasing outside"
Explanation: "In outside" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Outside" should be used as an adverb, not a noun. -
"most people often refrain from consuming them and dispose of them when they become rancid" -> "most individuals frequently fail to consume them and discard them when they spoil"
Explanation: "Refrain from" is somewhat formal but can be improved to "fail to consume" for a more precise academic tone. "Discard" is more formal than "dispose of," and "spoil" is more accurate than "become rancid." -
"leftover food gone to waste" -> "excess food that goes to waste"
Explanation: "Leftover food gone to waste" is awkward and informal. "Excess food that goes to waste" is clearer and more formal. -
"The first way is that the government" -> "One approach is for the government"
Explanation: "The first way is that" is awkward and informal. "One approach is for" is more direct and formal. -
"launching awareness-raising programs" -> "initiating awareness-raising programs"
Explanation: "Launching" is slightly informal for this context; "initiating" is more precise and formal. -
"buy and manage food items" -> "purchase and manage food"
Explanation: "Buy" is informal; "purchase" is more formal. "Food items" is redundant; "food" is sufficient. -
"the costs and disadvantages of surplus food" -> "the costs and drawbacks of surplus food"
Explanation: "Disadvantages" is a broader term that may not specifically relate to financial aspects; "drawbacks" is more precise in this context, focusing on the negative financial impacts. -
"i believe that it can resolved" -> "I believe that it can be resolved"
Explanation: Capitalization of "I" is necessary for formal writing, and "resolved" should be "be resolved" to maintain grammatical correctness. -
"hiring professional managers" -> "appointing professional managers"
Explanation: "Hiring" is informal; "appointing" is more formal and suitable for an academic context.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both aspects of the prompt: reasons why people waste food and solutions to reduce food wastage. It discusses individual behavior (stockpiling) and restaurant practices (overproduction) contributing to food waste.
- How to improve: To improve, ensure each point is elaborated further with specific examples or data to support claims. For instance, citing statistics on food wastage or providing case studies of successful food waste reduction initiatives would strengthen the response.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, advocating for awareness programs and professional management as solutions to food waste.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, explicitly state the proposed solutions earlier in the essay and reinforce the stance with stronger language emphasizing the necessity of these solutions.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented but lack development and depth. For instance, while awareness programs and professional management are mentioned, their implementation and potential effectiveness are not fully explored.
- How to improve: Develop each solution more thoroughly. Discuss potential challenges in implementing these measures and provide concrete examples of where similar strategies have succeeded.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but could be more focused. Some parts, such as the brief mention of government awareness programs, could be expanded to maintain relevance throughout.
- How to improve: Maintain a sharper focus on the specific causes of food wastage and directly tie all solutions back to addressing these causes. Avoid tangential discussions that do not directly relate to the prompt.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and offers viable solutions, it would benefit from deeper exploration of each point and more specific examples or evidence to substantiate claims. Ensuring a more structured approach with a clearer focus on the prompt requirements will enhance the coherence and effectiveness of the response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
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Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt at organizing information logically. It begins with an introduction that sets up the issue of food waste, then moves into discussing reasons for food wastage and proposed solutions in subsequent paragraphs. However, there are instances where the flow of ideas could be smoother. For example, transitions between paragraphs could be more explicit to guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
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How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the thesis statement and the overall flow of the essay. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly introduce the main idea. Additionally, utilize linking words and phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "Moreover," "On the other hand") to improve coherence between ideas and paragraphs.
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Use Paragraphs:
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Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs to structure its content. There is a distinct introduction, body paragraphs discussing reasons for food wastage and solutions, and a conclusion summarizing the main points. However, some paragraphs could be more developed or more clearly delineated to improve effectiveness.
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How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea related to the topic. For instance, in the body paragraphs, clearly separate the discussion of reasons for food waste from the proposed solutions. Develop each idea fully with supporting details and examples. Consider using a more balanced paragraph length for consistency and readability throughout the essay.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
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Detailed explanation: The essay employs a limited range of cohesive devices such as "however," "on the other hand," and "in addition." While these devices are used correctly, their frequency is sparse, which affects the overall cohesion of the essay. There is a need for more varied and frequent use of cohesive devices to strengthen the connections between sentences and paragraphs.
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How to improve: Introduce a wider variety of cohesive devices such as pronouns (e.g., "this," "these"), conjunctions (e.g., "therefore," "furthermore"), and transitional phrases (e.g., "as a result," "consequently"). This will help to clarify relationships between ideas and improve the flow of the argument. Ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence and cohesion.
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In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion overall, there are areas where improvements can be made to achieve a higher band score. By focusing on enhancing logical organization, refining paragraph structure and development, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices, the essay can become more cohesive and easier to follow for the reader, thereby potentially achieving a higher score in this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with attempts to express ideas using a variety of words such as "prevalent," "practical," "feasible," "employ," "resolve," and "educational programs." However, there is a tendency towards repetitive use of certain words (e.g., "food," "waste") which limits lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider using synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "food," try using alternatives like "produce," "items," or "cuisine." Using a thesaurus or practicing with synonym exercises can help develop a broader lexical repertoire.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: Vocabulary usage tends towards general rather than precise. For instance, phrases like "some practical solutions," "negative aspects," and "highly experienced supervisors" are somewhat vague and could benefit from more specific terms or examples. There are instances of imprecise word choices, such as "rancid" which typically refers to food spoilage due to fats rather than general food waste.
- How to improve: Aim for more precise vocabulary by choosing words that accurately convey your intended meaning. For example, instead of "some practical solutions," specify what these solutions are (e.g., "implementing food surplus redistribution programs"). Use words like "rotten" or "spoiled" instead of "rancid" for clarity in meaning. Reviewing vocabulary in context and consulting dictionaries for precise definitions can aid in using words accurately.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate, with minor errors such as "pratical" instead of "practical" and missing articles like "a" before "negative aspects." These errors do not significantly impede comprehension but could be improved for clarity and professionalism.
- How to improve: Proofreading carefully before submitting the essay can help catch these minor spelling errors. Using spell-check tools and focusing on common problem areas (like homophones or commonly misspelled words) during revision can enhance spelling accuracy.
In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a sufficient level of vocabulary and spelling accuracy to achieve a Band 6 in Lexical Resource, further development in using a wider range of vocabulary, employing more precise terms, and improving spelling consistency would strengthen the overall effectiveness and clarity of the writing.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple and complex sentences. For instance, there is usage of complex sentences like "Some people prone to stock up on food items to set aside money after purchasing in outside, but due to their hectic schedules, most people often refrain from consuming them and dispose of them when they become rancid." This sentence combines multiple clauses to express a complex idea, showcasing some variety in sentence structure.
- How to improve: To enhance variety further, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences or using rhetorical devices such as parallelism or inversion for stylistic variation. This can make the essay more engaging and sophisticated, thereby potentially raising the band score.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy with occasional errors. For example, "Some people prone to stock up on food items to set aside money after purchasing in outside" should be revised to "Some people are prone to stocking up on food items to save money after purchasing from outside." There are also punctuation errors such as missing commas and inconsistent capitalization.
- How to improve: Focus on sentence structure clarity and precision. Review grammar rules related to subject-verb agreement, sentence fragments, and comma usage for clarity and correctness. Proofreading carefully before submission can help catch and correct such errors.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical structures with room for improvement in sentence variety and precise grammatical accuracy. By enhancing these aspects, the essay can further elevate its clarity and coherence, potentially leading to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
In many countries worldwide, food loss is a significant issue. Even though there are various underlying reasons for this trend, I believe that practical solutions can address this problem.
One of the primary reasons why food is wasted is due to the lack of foresight among both individuals and restaurants. Some individuals tend to stockpile food items to save money after purchasing them outside, but because of their busy schedules, they often fail to consume them and discard them when they spoil. Similarly, restaurants tend to overproduce to meet their customers’ demands, leading to leftover food being wasted.
However, there are several feasible measures to reduce this problem. One approach is for the government to initiate awareness-raising programs that educate people about the negative aspects of food waste. These programs can equip individuals with the knowledge and skills to purchase and manage food items more effectively, including understanding the costs and drawbacks of having surplus food.
Additionally, restaurants can hire experienced managers who can accurately forecast the amount of food needed for the day. This can help in reducing food waste during both production and consumption stages.
In conclusion, the issue of food waste in many countries arises from inadequate planning in food purchasing and meal preparation. Nevertheless, I believe that it can be resolved by implementing educational programs and appointing professional managers.