Children of ages 7-11 now spend more time watching television and/or playing video games than before. What are the effects of this on children, family and society? What are the possible solutions to this situation?

In recent years, the amount of time children aged 7-11 spend watching television and playing video games has significantly increased. This trend has reaching consequences on children, families, and society as a whole. This essay will examine the effects of this phenomenon on children themselves, their family, and society and propose solutions to reduce these impacts.

The increased screen time among children has several effects on their physical and mental health. Firstly, prolonged time spent on sedentary activities, namely playing video games and watching TV without any physical activities or social interaction vague meaning can lead to a higher risk of obesity and related health issues. Secondly, excessive screen time can result in poor quality and insufficient sleep, which is crucial for the growth and development of children. Moreover, constant exposure to screens can cause eye strains and short-sightedness . Mentally, children who spend a lot of time on screens may face issues with attention and cognitive development, it makes children feel difficult to focus on tasks that require concentration. Additionally, it can also have negative effects on child emotions such as anxiety, aggression, and violence.
To address these issues, parents should play an important role in managing their children's screen time by setting clear limits and ensuring a balanced schedule that includes physical activities, homework, and family interactions. Encouraging alternative activities can also help reduce screen time. Children should be encouraged to participate in sports, outdoor play, and other physical activities to promote a healthy lifestyle such as reading, arts and crafts, and musical instruments, which can provide meaningful and enriching experiences.
In conclusion, the increased screen time among children aged 7-11 is one of the challenges that we face, and it can also lead to huge consequences . However, a combination of parental involvement and measures can help reduce these effects and promote a healthier, more balanced lifestyle for children.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the amount of time children aged 7-11 spend watching television and playing video games has significantly increased" -> "the amount of time children aged 7-11 devote to television viewing and video game play has significantly increased"
Explanation: The phrase "devote to" is more formal and precise than "spend," and "video game play" is a more formal term than "playing video games."
"This trend has reaching consequences" -> "This trend has far-reaching consequences"
Explanation: "Far-reaching" is the correct adjectival form, whereas "reaching" is a verb and is incorrectly used here.
"vague meaning" -> "unclear implications"
Explanation: "Unclear implications" is more specific and academically appropriate than "vague meaning," which is too general and imprecise in this context.
"namely playing video games and watching TV" -> "specifically, playing video games and watching television"
Explanation: "Specifically" is more formal than "namely," and "television" is the more formal term compared to "TV."
"can lead to a higher risk of obesity and related health issues" -> "may increase the risk of obesity and related health issues"
Explanation: "May increase" is a more precise and formal way to express potential causality than "can lead to."
"constant exposure to screens can cause eye strains and short-sightedness" -> "prolonged exposure to screens may cause eye strain and myopia"
Explanation: "Prolonged" is more precise than "constant," and "myopia" is the medical term for short-sightedness, which is more appropriate in an academic context.
"it makes children feel difficult to focus" -> "it can make it challenging for children to focus"
Explanation: "Can make it challenging" is more formal and avoids the awkward construction "makes children feel difficult."
"it can also have negative effects on child emotions" -> "it may also negatively impact children’s emotional well-being"
Explanation: "Negatively impact" is more precise and formal than "have negative effects on," and "children’s emotional well-being" is a more specific and formal phrase.
"Encouraging alternative activities can also help reduce screen time" -> "Promoting alternative activities can also aid in reducing screen time"
Explanation: "Promoting" and "aid in reducing" are more formal and precise than "encouraging" and "help reduce."
"such as reading, arts and crafts, and musical instruments" -> "such as reading, artistic pursuits, and musical activities"
Explanation: "Artistic pursuits" and "musical activities" are more formal and encompass a broader range of activities than "arts and crafts" and "musical instruments."
"huge consequences" -> "significant consequences"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more academically appropriate term than "huge," which is too colloquial for formal writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It discusses the effects of increased screen time on children, families, and society, and proposes solutions to mitigate these effects.
- For instance, it acknowledges the physical and mental health impacts on children, such as obesity risk, sleep issues, and cognitive development challenges. It also touches on societal implications and proposes parental involvement as a solution.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, the essay could provide more specific examples or data to support claims about the societal impacts. Additionally, it could delve deeper into the psychological effects on family dynamics and societal behavior.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout. It asserts that increased screen time negatively impacts children’s health and development, and proposes that parental intervention and promoting alternative activities are solutions.
- It consistently advocates for a balanced approach to screen time and highlights parental responsibility in managing children’s activities.
- How to improve: To strengthen clarity, the essay could explicitly outline the benefits of reducing screen time in the introduction and conclusion, reinforcing the stance more explicitly.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are generally well-presented and supported. The essay introduces multiple effects of increased screen time and discusses each with some detail.
- It supports its arguments with logical reasoning and suggests practical solutions, such as setting limits and encouraging alternative activities.
- How to improve: To further extend ideas, the essay could include more empirical evidence or specific studies that substantiate the claimed effects on children’s health and societal behavior.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly stays on topic, focusing on the effects of increased screen time and proposing solutions related to children, families, and society.
- It occasionally shifts to general lifestyle recommendations (e.g., promoting a healthy lifestyle through physical activities), which, while related, could be more directly linked to the primary topic.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should consistently tie back general recommendations (e.g., promoting healthy lifestyles) explicitly to reducing screen time and its effects on children, families, and society.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively addresses the prompt’s requirements. To enhance its coherence and depth, incorporating more specific examples, empirical evidence, and maintaining a direct linkage between ideas and the prompt’s focus would further strengthen its argumentation and clarity.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization. It begins with an introduction that outlines the issue and its impacts on children, families, and society. Each subsequent paragraph addresses a different aspect of the effects (physical health, mental health, emotional effects) and proposes solutions. The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the essay’s structure.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: Paragraphs are adequately structured with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Each paragraph addresses a different aspect of the effects and solutions related to children’s increased screen time.
- How to improve: Ensure consistent paragraph length for balance and readability. Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones to maintain focus on specific ideas and improve clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices such as pronouns ("these issues", "these effects"), transitions ("firstly", "secondly", "Moreover", "Additionally", "In conclusion"), and repetition of key phrases ("screen time", "physical activities"). These devices help connect ideas and maintain coherence throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To further enrich cohesion, integrate a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., "furthermore", "on the other hand", "as a result") to strengthen relationships between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, consider using synonyms or parallel structures to vary sentence structure and maintain reader engagement.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains coherence and cohesion, there is room for improvement in enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs and diversifying the range of cohesive devices used. These adjustments can further elevate the clarity and structure of the essay, potentially achieving an even higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable effort to utilize a variety of vocabulary. For instance, terms like "sedentary activities," "cognitive development," and "enriching experiences" showcase a good attempt at lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical resource further, consider incorporating more specific and nuanced vocabulary related to the topic. For example, instead of using "issues" repeatedly, varying with terms like "challenges," "concerns," or "implications" would add depth. Additionally, integrating domain-specific vocabulary related to child psychology or media consumption could enrich the discussion.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary effectively, there are instances where terms could be more precise. For example, "vague meaning" could be replaced with "ambiguous effects," and "it makes children feel difficult to focus" might be refined to "it impedes children’s ability to concentrate."
- How to improve: Aim to replace general terms with more specific vocabulary where appropriate. This can include using precise adjectives and verbs to convey exact meanings. Reviewing each sentence for opportunities to replace common words with more descriptive alternatives will enhance precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay, with minor exceptions such as "short-sightedness" (corrected to "shortsightedness") and "huge consequences" (consider using "significant" or "substantial" for variety).
- How to improve: Proofreading carefully and utilizing spell-check tools can help eliminate minor errors. Additionally, paying attention to word choice can enhance not only spelling accuracy but also vocabulary precision.

Overall, the essay exhibits a solid command of vocabulary, with opportunities to refine precision and variety further. By focusing on incorporating more nuanced vocabulary and ensuring precise usage throughout, the essay can elevate its lexical resource score in future assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. It utilizes complex sentences with relative clauses ("which is crucial for the growth and development of children"), compound sentences ("Excessive screen time can result in poor quality and insufficient sleep, which is crucial for the growth and development of children"), and effectively integrates transitional phrases ("Moreover," "Additionally," "In conclusion,") to connect ideas and paragraphs. These structures enhance coherence and cohesion, making the essay easier to follow.
- How to improve: To further enhance variety, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures like conditional sentences ("If parents actively engage in limiting screen time, children are likely to develop healthier habits"), or inversion for emphasis ("Not only does excessive screen time affect physical health, but it also impacts mental well-being"). This can elevate the sophistication of the essay and highlight your ability to manipulate language for different rhetorical purposes.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates strong grammatical accuracy with minor errors. For instance, "it makes children feel difficult to focus on tasks that require concentration" could be refined to "it makes it difficult for children to focus on tasks that require concentration." Punctuation is generally correct, with appropriate use of commas to separate clauses and items in a series.
- How to improve: To enhance accuracy further, pay attention to subject-verb agreement in complex sentences, ensuring consistency in tense and avoiding unnecessary repetition ("screen time" is mentioned twice in consecutive sentences). Additionally, review the use of articles ("a combination of parental involvement and measures can help reduce these effects") to ensure clarity and precision in your statements. Engaging in regular practice exercises focusing on these areas can refine your grammatical skills and improve overall precision in written communication.

By continuing to diversify your sentence structures and refining your grammatical accuracy, you can strengthen your essays and move towards achieving higher band scores in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria. These enhancements will not only improve readability but also demonstrate a deeper command of the English language.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the amount of time children aged 7-11 spend watching television and playing video games. This trend has profound consequences for children, families, and society as a whole. This essay will explore the effects of this phenomenon on children, their families, and society, and propose solutions to mitigate these impacts.

The increased screen time among children has several effects on their physical and mental health. Firstly, spending prolonged periods on sedentary activities such as playing video games and watching TV, without engaging in physical activities or social interactions, can lead to a higher risk of obesity and related health issues. Secondly, excessive screen time can result in poor quality and insufficient sleep, which is crucial for children’s growth and development. Moreover, constant exposure to screens can cause eye strain and myopia. Mentally, children who spend excessive time on screens may struggle with attention and cognitive development, finding it challenging to focus on tasks that require concentration. Additionally, it can also adversely affect children’s emotions, leading to issues such as anxiety, aggression, and behavioral problems.

To address these issues, parents should play a crucial role in managing their children’s screen time by setting clear limits and ensuring a balanced schedule that includes physical activities, homework, and family interactions. Encouraging alternative activities can also aid in reducing screen time. Children should be encouraged to participate in sports, outdoor play, and other physical activities to promote a healthy lifestyle. Moreover, engaging in activities such as reading, arts and crafts, and learning musical instruments can provide enriching experiences and contribute positively to their development.

In conclusion, the increased screen time among children aged 7-11 poses significant challenges and potentially far-reaching consequences. However, through proactive parental involvement and the promotion of healthier activities, these effects can be mitigated, fostering a more balanced and wholesome lifestyle for children.